Archive for the ‘Aging Humor & Verse’ Category
Tuesday, June 11th, 2013
Yikes! Scrotum Rejuvenation??? Yes, this Hollywood male grooming trend sounds fictitious, but apparently isn’t.
This Trend Sounds Fishy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A new wrinkle in grooming appalls,
And it’s pricey — not offered in malls.
It stems out of a joke
From that George Clooney bloke:
“Tackle-tightening” — ironing your balls.
Note to Judd Apatow: I’d better not see any Tackle-Tightening in the 50 Year Old Virgin.
Note to George Clooney: Tell the truth: Were you REALLY just joking, when you said you got your balls “unwrinkled”?
Tags: Aging Limerick, Balls, Beauty Park Medical Spa, George Clooney, Grooming Humor, Male Anatomy Humor, Male Laser Lift, Men Vanity, Odd Trends, Physical Appearance, Scrotum Rejuvenation, Strange Fads, Vanity Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Bawdy Limericks, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Odd Trends, Physical Appearance | 2 Comments »
Saturday, October 20th, 2012
Dverse Poets asks us to write a poem about the passage of time. Here’s mine.
Time Flies (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Time flies” is a popular phrase.
So it does, and in frightening ways.
Where’s it go? I don’t know.
And there’s no way to slow
It all down. Simply relish the days.
Tags: Adage, Aging Humor & Verse, Axioms, DVerse, Maxims, Time, Time Flies
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Limericks, Time Humor | 16 Comments »
Sunday, May 6th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal with a very deep tan…*
or
A guy with a very deep tan…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Sun-Tanned Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal with a very deep tan
Was hoping to pick up a man.
But the guys got one look,
And that’s all that it took:
Wrinkled skin made her look like their gran.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: July 3rd is Stay Out Of The Sun Day.
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, July Holidays, Limerick Contest, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Skin Damage, Stay Out Of The Sun Day, Sun Bathing Humor, Sun Tan Limerick, Wrinkles Poem, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Contests, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 77 Comments »
Friday, September 2nd, 2011
As I mention from time to time, I love the mental challenge of writing acrostic limericks. So on the first of each month, I eagerly visit Acrostic Only for its latest batch of prompts.
Taking Stock Of Acrostic Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Seems investments are dropping like flies,
Trouncing prices and deals that looked wise.
On Wall Street our shares
Crash and fall down the stairs —
Killed retirement plans on the rise.
Tags: Acrostic Only, Acrostic Poems, Aging Limerick, Business Poem, Financial Poetry, Investment Humor, Money Poems, Money Verse, Retirement Humor, Stock Market Limerick, Wall Street Woes
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Aging Humor & Verse, Business Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | 8 Comments »
Thursday, April 7th, 2011
Flutist misses cue.
Conductor settles the score.
Time to face music.
*****
Botoxified face,
once intelligent with age,
now frozen wasteland.
*****
(Face prompt from Theme Thursday)
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Botox, Conductors Humor, Flute Haiku, Haiku & Senryu, Music Haiku, Physical Appearance, Seniors Humor, Theme Thursday
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Haiku & Senryu, Music Humor & Verse, Physical Appearance | 17 Comments »
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011
Limerick Ode To A Vigorous Old Lady
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An old grandma with spring in her walk
Moved so quickly that people would gawk.
When asked if a gym
Was the source of her vim
She said, “No — Jim, Kim, Henry and Hawk.”
(Posted at this spring prompt and at Poetic Asides’ spring prompt.)
UPDATE: July 23 is Gorgeous Grandma Day.
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Energy Verse, Exercise Humor, Gorgeous Grandma Day, Gym Membership, Health Poetry, July Holidays, Odd Holidays, Seniors Humor, Vim And Vigor, Walking, Wordplay Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Exercise Humor, Gym Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Light Verse, Limericks, Odd Holdays, Physical Appearance, Relationship Humor, Seniors Poetry, Walking Humor, Wordplay | 8 Comments »
Saturday, March 12th, 2011
Nursing nostalgia,
the tribute bands play covers —
relive what wasn’t.
*****
The injured cellist,
forced to bow out of concerts,
retires her bow.
*****
The big bands play swing —
old couples dance joyously,
then reclaim their canes.
*****
Three childhood friendships —
treasured, instrumental —
piano, oboe, flute.
*****
(The first haiku was inspired by Writer’s Island’s tribute theme. The fourth haiku was inspired by Monday Memories’ friendship theme.)
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Big Bands, Cellos, Childhood Memories, Dancing, Flute Haiku, Friendship, Friendship Haiku, Health Haiku, Health Poetry, Monday Memories, Music Haiku, Nostalgia Haiku, Oboe Haiku, Piano Haiku, Seniors Humor, String Players, Swing, Tribute Bands, Writer's Island
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Dance Humor, Friendship Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health Verse, Music Humor & Verse, Seniors Poetry | 9 Comments »
Saturday, March 5th, 2011
Secret Cache
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow had a secret cache
of coins and stamps and gold.
He planned to sell it off one day
when he became quite old.
That time did come for him at last—
age ninety-three or more.
Alas, he’d thrown his cache box out—
forgot what it was for.
(You can find more of my bad memory humor here. And check out the secret prompt over at Writer’s Island)
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Coin Collecting, Collectibles, Forgetfulness, Memory, Money Verse, Secrets, Seniors Humor, Stamp Collections
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Behavior & Personality, Memory Humor, Mental Health Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Seniors Poetry | 16 Comments »
Tuesday, February 15th, 2011
My memory is so bad, that when I spotted the upcoming memory prompt at Haiku Heights I forgot the obvious — that the prompt was for haiku. Ah well, here’s my Bad Memory Limerick:
Bad Memory Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My mem’ry is bad — getting worse.
It’s a failing I constantly curse.
I forget what I’ve done,
People’s names, whom to shun.
Now what was the theme of this verse?
(For those who can actually remember something, here’s a spot to post your memories in verse.)
Tags: Aging Limerick, Forgetfulness, Memory Limerick, Mental Health Satire, Poetry Prompt, Remembering Names, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Light Verse, Limericks, Memory Humor, Mental Health Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 10 Comments »
Wednesday, November 17th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was youngish, yet gray…
Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Hairy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was youngish, yet gray,
Considered a dye job one day,
But was coloring wary.
(It struck her as hairy.)
She refused, to her mother’s dismay.
Her mom said, “It’s time for some dye,
Else you’ll look even older than I.
And I can not afford
An old daughter — good lord —
If I want to attract a new guy.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Aging Limerick, Gray Hair, Mothers & Daughters, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts | 13 Comments »
Saturday, October 23rd, 2010
Dominique Browning poses an excellent question in her New York Times essay Why Can’t Middle-Aged Women Have Long Hair? Well, I believe they can and should, if they’re so inclined:
Limerick Ode To Long Gray Hair
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m writing in praise of long hair.
If you think I’m too old, I don’t care.
And if short is the “norm”
At my age, won’t conform
To such ageist opinions. So there!
UPDATE: Happy Hairstyle Appreciation Day! (April 30th)
Tags: Ageism Humor, Aging Limerick, April Holidays, Dominique Browning, Gray Hair, Hairstyle Appreciation Day, Long Hair, Middle Age, New York Times, Non-Conformists, Odd Holidays
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, July 7th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who looked young for her years…
Here’s mine:
Unassailable Logic
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who looked young for her years
Was often assaulted by leers.
“That is rude,” pals opined,
But she said, “I don’t mind.
Soon enough they’ll replace them with jeers.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Aging Limerick, Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Poetry & Prompts, Rudeness, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts | 25 Comments »
Sunday, May 9th, 2010
Limerick Ode To Betty White
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The comedy legend named White
Hosted SNL Saturday night.
She managed to sell
Ev’ry line oh so well,
Even those that lacked humor and bite.
Betty’s sassy and charming — a pro.
How she does what she does, I don’t know.
Her timing is great.
She’s a young eighty-eight,
Who’d enhance any movie or show.
Tags: Actresses, Betty White, Comedy Limerick, Entertainers, Funny Performers, NBC, Saturday Night Live, SNL, Television Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Celebrity Humor, Entertainment Humor, Media Humor, Public Figures, Television (TV) Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman whose hair was quite gray…
Here’s mine:
Not-So-Colorful Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman whose hair was quite gray
Was told she should dye it — said “Nay!”
She opined that most tresses
When colored were messes,
And cautioned that “Dye does not pay.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Aging Limerick, Getting Older Verse, Gray Hair, Hair Dye Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Wednesday, February 17th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as a first line:
“An elderly fellow named James…”
Here’s mine:
Endearing Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An elderly fellow named James
Had trouble remembering names,
So he often used “dear,”
Which hurt his career.
His defense? “I just did it to dames.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Age Humor, Career Poem, Feminist Humor, Poetry Prompt, Remembering Names, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Feminist Satire, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Memory Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 17 Comments »
Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
I’m short. Five-foot-zero, to be specific. But I never wear heels. Okay, I do have one pair of special-occasion shoes with a one-inch heel. Does that even count?
I forswore high heels way back in my early twenties. Why? Isn’t it obvious? Because they hurt! Besides, even if I braved three-inch heels, I’d still be really short. Plus I’ve never thought teetering was all that sexy.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Shoo, Heels!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m short, but wear flats — never heels.
Cuz they hurt. Gals, you know how it feels.
So my word to height seekers:
Just give me some sneakers,
Or flip flops, or better yet — wheels.
Tags: Comfort Humor, Fashion Verse, Feet Humor, Height Poem, High Heels Humor, Shoes Limerick
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Fashion Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Walking Humor | 4 Comments »
Sunday, September 13th, 2009
Friday, September 11th was my birthday — one of those traumatizing, ends-with-zero birthdays. So I told my husband Mark that, unless he wanted me to be a basket case on nine-eleven, he’d better plan something good.
So, did Mark rise to the occasion? He sure did, as I describe in this three-verse limerick:
Happy Birthday To Me
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My nine-one-one birthday was great!
Hubby Mark planned a fabulous date:
God of Carnage — fine play —
Four fab stars on Broadway.
Yes, I married a wonderful mate.
The play featured James Gandolfini,
Who did not play a mafia meanie.
Hope Davis starred too
And Jeff Daniels. Woo Hoo!
Marcia Harden’s the fourth. Creds ain’t teeny.
We dined on gourmet Mex cuisine:
Toloache’s the best I have seen.
And we drank and we danced
At two bars. Age advanced?
Well, perhaps … but I felt sweet sixteen.
(Cross-posted on my political humor blog.)
Tags: Aging, Birthday Celebrations, Birthday Limerick, Broadway Verse, Celebrations Poetry, Dancing, God of Carnage, Hope Davis, Husband Wife Limerick, James Gandolfini, Jeff Daniels, Marcia Gay Harden, Mexican Food, New York City Dining, September Holidays, Theater Poem, Toloache, Yasmina Reza
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Holiday Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Movie & Play Humor, New York Limericks & Haiku, Night On The Town, Personal, Recreation & Fun Humor, Relationship Humor, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Theater Reviews | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009
My niece, who holds yoga classes in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, New York, recently launched a yoga blog. And in her latest post she includes a video that demonstrates face-yoga.
So what the heck is face-yoga? According to the instructor featured on the video, certain face poses (including something called “the lion face”) can tone your face and reduce facial lines and wrinkles.
Hey … at least you don’t have to move your whole body.
I thought I’d celebrate with a limerick:
A Fountain Of Face-Yoga Youth?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Can yoga de-wrinkle your face?
Your forehead and frown lines erase?
With its face-moves like “lion” —
Not certain I’m buyin’.
But maybe I should … just in case.
Tags: Aging, Brooklyn, Classes, Exercise, New York City, Toning, Wrinkles, Yoga
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Aging Humor & Verse, Health Verse, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Physical Appearance | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, July 29th, 2008
Please stay tuned for a big announcement, which is coming in the next day or so. But in the meantime, I’ve been prompted to write about getting older. So here’s my Gray Matters limerick:
Gray Matters
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though young when I started to gray,
I refused to say, “Gray, go away!”
In the decades gone by
I have never used dye.
Mess with nature? My answer is “Nay!”
My best wishes to LA’ers who’ve been through an earthquake today. Fortunately, so far at least, the damage hasn’t been bad. I still have vivid memories of the really scary 1971 LA earthquake.
Tags: Aging Limerick, Getting Older Verse, Gray Hair, Hair Dye Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Limericks, Physical Appearance | 12 Comments »
Friday, March 7th, 2008
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is age and/or life stages. First, my limerick:
“Let’s begin at the top of the page,”
Said the coach to the gals on the stage.
“You’re supposed to be teens.
You should know what that means.
So I’m begging you—please—act your age.”
And here’s my haiku:
Cranky digestion
Recalcitrant intestines
Aging wastefully.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about age and/or life stages. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.
(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)
Tags: Acting Limerick, Aging, Digestion Humor, Teens, Theater Humor, Theatre Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Children Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 7 Comments »
