Fast Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
As an experiment, I’m offering a freestyle limerick option this week, in addition to my preset pair of lines.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was fast on her feet…
or
A guy who was fast on his feet…
or
Any First Line You Choose
Here’s mine:
Fast Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was fast on her feet
Knew a winner she yearned to unseat.
So she challenged the champ
At violin camp,
Where strong arms can outpace someone fleet.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line (and/or your freestyle limerick) and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Champions, Competition Limerick, Contest Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Violinist, Writing Prompts
A gal who was fast on her feet
Went and gave her dog a new treat
She swayed and she swaggered
To a tune by Mick Jagger
Fido wished she had given him meat
A gal who was fast on her feet
Made it home faster than her sweet tweet
She caught him in bed
With his face all red
This is one tryst he won’t repeat
A guy who is fast on his feet
Will appear on tv to compete
Despite onemillionmoms
Raising outrageous qualms
A huge win for Chaz B. would be sweet!
A guy who was fast on his feet
Went to war, but came home in defeat
The fellow said, “Sarge,
“When the bugler played Charge,
“I thought he was sounding Retreat…”
A gal who was fast on her feet
On TV exposed her left teat
It caused a sensation
Across the whole nation
For Republicans it was red meat.
A girl who was fast on her feet
Ran for a congressional seat
Didn’t get enough votes
To keep her afloat
Said this running has gotten me beat
A girl who was fast on her feet
Offered a guy a quick treat
He accepted her offer
Reached into his coffer
And took his sweet treat in the seat.
A guy who was fast on his feet
Took advantage of a girl so sweet
When her father found out
He confronted the lout
Who took off with his prize still in heat.
A gal who was fast on her feet,
Saw a ghost and went white as a sheet.
She took to her heels
With lots of loud squeals
But a fast ghost is too hard to beat!
A guy who was fast on his feet,
took the sportscaster gal to his suite,
and made hot, dirty love,
with the soon to be Guv.
Just a wild mama grizzly in heat.
A gal who was fast on her feet
Wished her one prince to meet,
But fled a political rally,
Utterly refused to dally,
On hearing the candidate’s bleat.
Great!
A gal who was fast on her feet
Ate a bad plate of meat
She gave an odd chuckle
As she forgot to unbuckle
And ended up making a mess on her seat
Fun limericks! Please keep them coming!
A girl who was fast on her feet
Could line up whomsoever to meet
One as important as the King
Or for herself just a little fling
Imperative she must all the while be fit
LOL! Excellent as always Madeleine.
A gal who was fast on her feet
Had Twitter and loved to Tweet.
She spotted a guy
As she went running by
And wrote LOL BFF, you’re so sweet.
A gal who was fast on her feet
found her father’s store wasn’t replete.
So, she put on some shoes
peddled some booze
And made money through that fine feat
A gal who was fast on her feet
Continued to play hard to get
So though she was hot
She never got got
Now she searches for eHarmony
A gal who was fast on her feet
decided to learn how to tweet.
Her fingers are fitter
from learning to twitter
but she never gets up from her seat.
A gal who was fast on her feet
Was dating a notorious cheat
‘Til the day he was caught
With pants down, just for sport
She chased his naked ass down the street.
A gal who was fast on her feet
Got her energy from Cream of Wheat
As hot cereal goes
It kept her on her toes
And those races never knew her defeat
A guy who was fast on his feet
Broke an ankle while racing (delete
The words that he swore)
He was angry. What’s more
He had bet all he owned on this meet.
A gal who was fast on her feet
Came in first at her very first meet
She explained, “I was rushing.
My hair needed brushing.
I always try to be neat.”
A guy who was fast on his feet
Was racing and fell on his seat
And his ankle was broken
The guy now has spoken,
“I think my next sport will be skeet!”
A guy who was fast on his feet
Achieved a miraculous feat
He ran backwards high speed
Until time did recede
And is now Ancient Rome’s best athlete
A gal who was fast on her feet
Thought she could not lose in defeat
Her speed keep her going
And all the while knowing
She was the best at the meet!
BEWITCHED (freestyle)
There once was a vampy old witch,
The thought of her near made me twitch,
But she had a nice twin,
With a similar grin,
My thought? Which witch was which?
A gal who was fast on her feet
knew nothing of being discrete.
Her legs did not falter
when she ran to the altar
but her beau turned red as a beet.
Mad, I wrote this one just for you, in thanks for your comment on my blog that you hoped I feel better soon! Happenstance, I love it:
Bless you for your wishes, dear
I’m mobile again; now I fear
The practical fact:
The dishes are stacked
And the laundry is up to my rear!
Amy (among the living once more)
A guy who was fast on his feet
courted courtesan gal Marguerite.
He danced her, romanced her
and then he unpantsed her.
Camille? Il est très bittersweet.
A guy who was fast on his feet
made his getaway real quick and neat.
When her husband walked in,
she explained her nude skin
was for him ‘cause she never would cheat.
A guy who was fast on his feet
Was racing to get a good seat.
He’d listen to Bach
Who is no one to knock.
In fact he can not be beat.
A guy who was fast on his feet
Was craving some junk food to eat.
He ran here and there
With a curse and a swear;
Found a burger at old Greasy Pete’s.
Defeat.?.
a gal who was fast on her feet
bragged on herself with conceit
a take down was planned
dare she race my sedan
madly she tore out down the street
Written By: Patricia Sawyer
9-20-2011
= = = = = =
Joyfully
I once knew a girl they call Joy
played all the guys like a toy
till the night she met Bart
easy love fills her heart
before long.. joy’s joy is a boy..
Written By: Patricia Sawyer
9-20-2011
A guy who was fast on his feet
Through the window escaped with a sheet;
Called her hubby, home at four,
“Hon! Some ghost’s at the door,
“Says ‘Happy Hallowe’en! Trick or treat?!’ “
No time for a limerick today … but thoroughly enjoyed the deer, hope hubby does not starve.
A guy who was fast on his feet
Was racing to get a good seat.
He’d listen to Bach
Who is no one to knock.
In fact he just can not be beat.
A gal who was fast on her feet
Attempted a paramour meet
Her lovers she’d choose
By the size of their shoes
But sadly missed being discreet
Thanks for the fun limericks, everyone. And please keep them coming!
A gal who was fast on her feet,
Made sure she was first for the fleet.
She’d race to the piers,
Displaying her wares
And relishing all she could eat.
A gal who was fast on her feet,
When caught in a clinch indiscreet,
Said: “My dear, I am told
That the cure for a cold
Is to heighten one’s bodily heat.”
Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over and you can find out who won here: Limerick of the Week 28
But don’t worry if you’re itching for some limerick competition — a new Limerick-Off has already begun: Batty Limerick