Nameless Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal with a very long name…
or
A guy with a very long name…
Here’s mine:
Nameless Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal with a very long name
Desired celebrity fame.
Oh to have a huge halo
Like Oprah and J.Lo —
And be crowned a one-moniker dame.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Celebrity Verse, Envy Poem, Fame Limerick, J.Lo, Jealousy Verse, Jennifer Lopez, Names Humor, Oprah, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
A gal with a very long name
had a man who was not very tame
he cheated and lied
til the day that he died
now she’s one little heartbroken dame
A girl with a very long name
was fed up with spelling the same
so she married a Smith
who took the pith
all the time saying “What was your name?”
*
A girl with a very long name
declaimed “It’s Dad that I blame
He married my Mum
whose name, Sugar Plum,
was much nicer. Oh, what a shame.”
*
A bloke with a very long name
a financial success, just the same,
by the time he had signed
the chap he’d maligned
cried off from the counterclaim
A gal with a very long name
Had no morals, let alone shame.
She pleased all the boys
Treating them like toys
But all the guys thought, “Oh…What a dame”.
A gal with a very long name
Seemed oh so sweet, but was really a pain
Despite all her charm
She had a month that only did harm
Now she’ driving me nuts, and more than slightly insane.
A gal with a very long name
Became wed to a man with the same
And when they had a kid
Add a hyphen they did
Now his name is a joke–what a shame!
Mouthful
Thank you
A gal with a very long name
Ran ‘to trouble the day she came
through Ellis Island –
clerk gave a cry and
lopped off letters to make it more tame.
A gal with a very long name
Invented that stuff Aspartame
Even though it was sweet
And made food good to eat,
It was too hard to spell, what a shame!
A girl with a very long name
Had aspirations for Hollywood fame
So she moved to LA
Called herself Norma Rae
And worked to get into the game.
Read My Name Neaklace
A gal with a very long name
wore it on her neaklace chain
to teach all who spelled wrong
that weird name oh-so-long
without causing her vocals to strain.
A gal with a very long name
Desired one that was really quite tame
So the law she did seek
To give her name a slight tweek
And now she’s know as plain Jane
A gal with a very long name
was wooed by a guy much the same
They’re now man and wife (and
they both use a hyphen)
But their license won’t fit in the frame
A guy with a very long name,
was playing a dangerous game,
with the West and Mossad,
Ahmed-din-a-zhod,
may soon set the Mid-East aflame.
A gal with a very long name
On grocery lines garnered great fame
Shoppers’ ice cream would melt
On the conveyor belt
Credit card signing time was to blame
A gal with a very long name
said “Tattoo it, or you’ll lose your claim.”
Then she’d snicker and snort–
her guy’s thingy was short.
What a truly despicable dame.
A variation on the preceding entry…great minds think alike?
A guy with a very long name
Made quite a remarkable claim
I’ve a tattoo concealed
That is only revealed
When ladies consent to inflame
This is nice and looks like fun :)
You’re My Reason
Clever. Thanks as always for the chuckles. You are so very good at this…
This is clever! You do it so well Maddy!
Thank you again for making me laugh.. That girl with a long name is going places now!
Sunday Hugs xx
A gal with a very long name
has recently risen to ‘Dame’.
She’s rather a swank
now she’s moved up in rank
and her name is no longer the same.
(written before I read yours I swear!)
A gal with a very long name
Yearned for professional pop singing fame
But she’s out of luck
‘cause she sounds like a duck
She’s just one unfortunate dame.
What a wonderful batch of limericks so far. I was worried that things would be slow because of Passover, Palm Sunday, and Tax Day. But lots of good limericks have been flying in. Call me relieved. :)
Please keep them coming. And if you’re on Facebook, please cross-post them on my Facebook post.
Thanks!
A man with a very long name,
John Jacob Jingleheimer one in the same,
had lost his serenity,
due to stolen identity,
the internet was clearly to be blamed.
Yep, that’s how you know that you’re famous!
A guy with a very long name,
had another real long claim to fame.
His other long thing, you see,
was his memory.
I know what you thought shame, shame, shame!
A guy with a very long name
felt compelled to have to explain:
“It was my father’s last wish
that I’m named after fish.”
said Striped Largemouth Bass McLane.
A guy with a really long name
Cannot tell what he just exclaimed
He kept driving me crazy
Nearly killed an old lady
Cab smells like dog crap in rain
A man with a very long name,
Humanity’s good was his game.
He said, “First cause no harm”
I must sound the alarm,
We risk putting this gift to the flame.
A guy with a very long name
Could not ever spell it the same.
“I know that it’s sloppy
But I just hit COPY
Then PASTE, thus avoiding the shame.”
I just found this fun page Mad kane and wanted to give it a try-my first. It was fun.
A gal with a very long name
With letters as long as a train
It starts with a B
And ends with a Z
Just writing it is such a strain
A gal with a very long name
Wished for a shorter one
Like Ann or Patty Jane
Instead she was saddled
With a moniker so padded
Even telephone solicitors were addled!
A fellow with a very long name
took a wife who would share his shame.
Decided the couple:
Get naked, then couple,
To inflict on their children the same.
always bring a smile to my face my friend.. here’s my potluck.. springtide.
A guy with a very long name
Had quite a strange claim to fame
He took so long to write it
His arm had a slight fit
And those stood nearby he did maim.
I love Neal P’s last line.
A guy with a very long name
Began to drive me insane
So I called the police
And they sent out his niece
Officer Puthertoshame
************************
Oh, that was fun! Thanks so much!
A gal with a very long name
Entered Mad Kane’s limerick game.
But the gal was a lemming
Final ENlng not EMing
Many funny, which leaves me in paim.
(a non-compliant entry …)
A gal with a very long name
liked to play the bureaucrats’ game
at school and in banks
when she filled in the blanks
shejammeditalltogether like this
A gal with a very long name
Had one quirk when she stoked a man’s flame:
Full names she desired
So lovers required
Phonetical flair when they came.
ha. nice limerick mad kane…actually a one moniker name might not be bad…
Thanks so much everyone for your kind words and fun limericks. Please keep them coming. You have plenty of time before the next Limerick of the Week is picked on Sunday. :)
A gal with a very long name
said “This is no kind a of game!
When I fill in a form
it’s always the norm
that I run out of space once again!
OK, so the LADY is a DOG …
Tricky Tag for Training
I always get a kick out of your work, Mad. You really do bring laughter to the world, daily. That, my friend, is a gift.
Seriously, you have a gift. Your pith and verve are without equal.
Mine is HERE
A guy with a very long name
Dreaded syllable-counting games.
He’d clap for so long,
Others joined in song;
Drums they’d play with his name. Such shame!
A guy with a very long name
Had his pastor father to blame
Who found as a balm
The Twenty-third Psalm
Which the guy had to wear to his shame.
A gal with a very long name
Met a guy with a name quite the same
Their kid’s name’s a prize
(they should not hyphenize)
Ann McDoughliness-Hoofendersdame
A gal with a very long name
Said: “It’s dimming the passionate flame!
When I shout ‘Who’s your mama?’
My lover says ‘um, ah,’
Then silence, both awkward and lame.”
Thanks so much everyone for your kind comments and fun limericks. Please keep those limericks coming. I don’t pick Limerick of the Week until Sunday, so you still have two days to send in more delightful verse.
A guy with a very long name
Liked to hear it whenever he came
His gal would squeak “Rum…”
Whenever she’d come
“…plestilskin” was too much to tame.
A guy with a very long name
Bought a very old parrot, too tame.
When the guy tried to teach
It his name, it would screech,
“I’ve much better lines to declaim!”
Er, this is pretty naughty. But I couldn’t think of anything not naughty, so here you go:
A girl with a very long name
Said, “Change me to hussy from dame
Show me twelve inches long
To make me drop my thong
Then I’ll give you all oral acclaim.”
A gal with a very long name
picked a husband for reasons so lame
he had the last name Du jour
So for her quite the lure
that her signature should be quite so tame.
Thanks again everyone for your delightful limericks. I’ve very much enjoyed them.
This week’s contest is officially over and a new one has begun. You can find out who won this week’s Limerick of the Week here.
As for my new Limerick-Off Challenge, I’ve posted it here: Argumentative Limerick.
Thanks again!
DANG it, Mad, I missed your deadline :(( Well, as I wrote this specifically for your Challenge, I’m posting it anyway…this’ll teach me to cut it so close in the future!!
A guy with a very long name
Considered his parents to blame.
Had a goal nonetheless,
Best revenge is – success;
He went on to great fortune and fame.
Then sparks flew with a dame with the same
Legacy: last name double his name!
Such a shame ’twas the source
Of a drawn-out divorce:
Tamed love’s flame to a lame, claim-filled game.
Their same-surname child had an aim,
To the Catholic church assigned blame;
Diana Elisa
Olvida de Visa
Etcetera…who later became
A person who longed for the terse,
Sought her earlier self in reverse;
Even chose to cavort
With a lover quite short,
Now they’re married ~ for better (or worse).
Patrice, while late posts can’t be considered for Limerick of the Week, fresh limericks are welcome at any time. :)