Guileless Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus five Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet…
or
A guy who seemed guileless and sweet…
Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verser will be fine, of course.)
Guileless Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
And consistently easy to beat,
Was exploited each day
Both at work and at play.
But she did have one weapon — the tweet.
That gal, it turns out, was quite bitter
And exacted revenge using Twitter.
Her micro remarks
Caused embarrassing sparks.
What a fabulous gossip emitter!
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Gossip Verse, Guile, Poetry & Prompts, Revenge Poem, Twitter Humor, Twitter Verse, Writing Prompts
very clever Mad! ain’t technology wonderful?
A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
won his State’s Senatorial seat.
That sweet guy is no more,
he’s a Washington whore,
and he’ll screw us all in a heartbeat.
A gal who seemed guileless and and sweet
Was guyless and anxious to meet
Some One she could snuggle with
And not have to struggle with
Should they happen to meet ‘neath a sheet
I love your limerick, Madeleine!
A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
Met a shy high school girl on the street.
She took a chance
Asking him to her dance.
He said, “Sorry! I’m married. Meet Pete!”
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Was also a bit indiscreet
She said, “let’s call Cupid!
I LIKE my men stupid!
They entitled her film, “Body Heat”
Good one, Mad!
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Was really quite full of deceit
For under her sweater
Was nature made better
(If you like the feel of concrete)
brilliant…love it;)
awesome………
your wit is unbeatable.
A++
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
has knocked me right off of my feet.
But she ruined my trust
by showing her bust
to every single guy she would meet!
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
has knocked me right off of my feet.
But she ruined my trust
by showing her bust
to each single guy she would meet!
You’re right Mad. Thanks.
Thanks so much, everyone! These are delightful. Please keep them coming and cross-post on Facebook if you can.
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
went shopping for shoes as a treat
she thought after, “a movie, I ought’a
see The Devil wears Prada”
with Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep.
A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
was tired beyond disbelief
his limericks were weak
but with both tongue and cheek,
he made efforts and then went to go sleep.
Hi Mad …
Love this, we will give a try at it, however, we may have to post ours later than monday, hope you dont mind… but knowing our monday and wednesday posts,we know you understand… Multi-Prompt Monday and WOW(Words Of Wednesday) overwhelm most of our visitors… Tee Hee Hee!
We will try to do it on tuesday…
ENJOY !
JL&B
Thanks JL Dodge. Don’t worry — you have an entire week to post. :) I’m looking forward to your limerick(s).
Your blog posts are always fun and I encourage my readers to visit.
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
was, in truth, rather effete.
She put on an act
with complete want of tact
fooled them all – what a terrible cheat.
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
was really just being discreet.
She frequently fell,
but not kiss and tell,
and blushed at anything off-beat.
I totally understand this ! been seen many such people in my liston twitter ! i tell you .. if some one known to them would read those , they wuld know how much sparks such tweets cause !!
My first try :
A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
stood daily at the end of the street
smiling at passing women
but never a loot at men
him,would you still like to meet ?
PS : I will really like if you would tell me what i did wrong here :)
love your use of the modern weapon!
Here’s my contribution:
A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
with his mistress quite often did meet.
When his wife found out
she gave him a clout
and accused him of being a cheat.
Nimue, here are the comments you requested:
This isn’t bad for a first limerick, but there are some problems. Your A-rhyme (sweet, street, meet) is good, but you B-rhyme doesn’t work. (Women and men don’t rhyme, even though spelled the same, because women accents the first syllable.)
Your poem also has some easily fixable meter problems. The best way to get a feel for the correct meter, is to read a lot of good limericks aloud. Here’s a quickie revision of yours to give you a feel for the right meter, which should maintain a triplet feel like da DA da da DA da da DA throughout.
A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
Often stood at the end of the street.
He would smile at the gals
And ignore their male pals.
Is he someone you’d still like to meet?
Got it ! thanks Kane :)
Will write another one and link later !
And yes, I will be bugging you often to correct my lines ;)
Thanks Earlybird!
Nimue, you’re very welcome.
And thanks everyone for your delightful limericks. And please keep them coming. You have the entire week to post your creations here. :)
Here’s mine:
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Had a terrible hunger for meat.
She ate first her brother,
Dad, sister and mother,
Then polished off folk in her street.
a guy who seemed guileless and sweet
looked round for a gal he could meet
as Maddie walked by
he said with a cry
your beauty is hotter than heat
although he was stricken with lust
cute Maddie pulled up on her bust
she pointed her finger
at his very hard dinger
as he brushed off the layers of rust
Tilly, methinks I’ll have to stay away from your street.:)
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Opted for a kooky sort of treat
Instead of coffee –
Or chocolate, or toffee
She preferred to eat – ugh – boiled sugar beet.
Or a slight variation thereof:
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Would find the weirdest things to eat
When it was time for dessert
She’d eschew cookies and sherbert.
Oddly, boiled sugar beet was her favourite treat.
Shammy your first version is much better meter-wise, but could use some meter tinkering. Here’s one possibility:
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Did opt for a kooky type treat.
Not ice cream or coffee
Or chocolate, or toffee —
Her preference – ugh – boiled sugar beet.
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Met me in scorching sun and asked for a treat
‘Perhaps wants a cold drink’ so I thought
And then went ahead and quietly bought
Just about four, couldn’t tolerate heat …
Thanks, Madeleine. Appreciate the tips! :)
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Once told me I made her complete
Though the joke was on me
After we got married
She gave headaches each night of the week
I’m loving these limericks. What a great way to start off the week.
A gal who was guileless and sweet
Was a vegetarian who didn’t eat meat
No matter how she tried
She couldn’t Super Size
The thought of bacon on her sprouts just wasn’t a treat.
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet,
said she knelt at the President’s feet.
The details that would follow,
we found hard to swallow,
but then, so was the President’s…..treat.
i am sorry i cant do this but i like yours! mines here~ Nature’s Gravity
I so enjoy your work. clever as always.
A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
into anger would often retreat
when anyone talked
of how awkward he walked
upon his two hobbit-like feet.
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet,
had been sharing by night many tweets.
It appears that she griped,
You see she drank as she typed.
Her words became quite effusive,
When she tweeted it seems that she tooted.
Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks and kind words. Please keep them coming — the limericks, not the kind words — though those are good too. :)
David, I hope you don’t mind a suggestion: Your limerick was pretty good until the ending. But you have an extra line. A single verse limerick is five lines long. This is easily fixable if you drop the last two lines and replace them with something like this: “So her tweets were a tad indiscreet.”
A girl who seemed guileless and sweet
on an evening of simmering heat
declared “Life is a bore;
“there’s just got to be more.”
Now you’ll find her out working the street
A girl who seemed guileless and sweet
Only drank Scotch over “neat”
She drank till she puked
was sorely rebuked
and promptly thrown out in the street
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Had a VOICE, her only conceit.
She sang out so LOUD
That her neighbors were cowed
But a lynching mob formed in the street.
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Had a habit of delightful deceit
When alone and concealed
She danced naked in heels
With the shades drawn so no one could peek
It wasn’t that she was a poor dancer
Or that she didn’t look good as a prancer
But the dance that she chose
Should be done on the toes
And a fan used as a proper enhancer
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Kept a scandalous secret discreet;
The details, though taboo,
May have something to do
With her hairy, size seventeen feet.
Madeleine, I shall not venture into those waters, but I love reading yours and the others.
Pamela
Whew, I’m “late” in entering the fray ~ Everyone, it’s so great to see all these submissions, and so much interest! :^D
Something’s Afoot
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Was all that, but possessed stinky feet;
Archly scrubbed rub-a-dub
Every day in the tub,
But crestfallen, met toe-tal de-feet.
Please Approach the Bench
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
For her fiancé judge, planned a treat:
Into chambers she barged
Purring, “Guilty, as charged!”
Doffed her raincoat, ensemble complete.
He inquired, “You a perp or a vic?”
Grinned and stretched: “Well, we’d better be quick!”
Silken strides, no words uttered:
Quite impressed, the judge muttered,
“Something tells me those charges won’t stick.”
Then doors opened to Counsel (Opposing):
“Whoops, Judge, I had thought you were dozing!”
The couple froze, glaring;
He leered, “Thanks for sharing
Your pairing: A coup for my closing!”
the tweet is a powerful weapon indeed…i have verizon dsl running scared at the moment b/c of them…nice bit of limerick…
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet,
When asked what she wanted to eat,
Attracted a crowd
While enthusing aloud
How she savored the taste of jerked meat.
Dr. Goose, you are officially “on the loose” with this last one: but I’ll bet dollars to doughnuts that “this” gal is not your previous one of the size seventeen feet! :) Though she, too, would attract a [quite different] crowd…
What a fun selection of limericks. Thanks everyone. And please keep them coming. I don’t pick the winners until Sunday, so you have lost of time to write and post your limericks.
modern weapon of revenge! brilliant poem :)
trisha
This was nice, fun and funny at the same time…ah! what anger, hurt and bitterness can do to a sweet and guileless gal!!! We are the sum of our experiences :(
In Search Of Jasmine
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Was really a ruthless card cheat
Way bove mediocre
Especially at poker
Her “face” had the whole table beat
…
I love your limericks!
finding dreams for you
You’ll find mine HERE
Ah Ha! very cute, sorry I am late on this one
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Caused her lover to go white as a sheet
Yes he did adore her
And oh he implored her
Then discovered her name should be Pete!
A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
Built his rep on “backspace” and “delete”;
His friends thought him kind,
Well-intentioned, refined;
Oh, the ease of world wide web deceit.
Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks. I’m really enjoying them and look forward to even more. Please keep them coming. :)
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Went out with her beau for a treat
She was shocked and distressed
As he quickly undressed
And offered her some of his meat
A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
Asked his gal for a date through a tweet
She said that she couldn’t
Perhaps she meant shouldn’t
She was currently walking the street
Another for Christine O’Donnell
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Just a target of “liberal elite”
Well that gal, it turns out
Was no honest girl scout;
Check out her campaign balance sheet
Two Part(y) Limerick
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Was riled when faced with deceit.
“I thought he was Dem
But he’s one of Them
Who steal from the man in the street!”
She shook her head sadly and sighed
“Can a leopard change spots?” she decried
“This guy is so stealthy –
Gives alms to the wealthy.
Can an elephant change its thick hide?!”
Granny, I love your limerick above.
‘gives alms to the wealthy’ is a great line!
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet,
held contests where all could compete.
Whether good or real bad,
we’re all welcomed at Mads,
and our esteem for Miss K is complete.
A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
Wept for children of moneyed elite
But he shed not one tear
For those not in his sphere
Is that feeling or stone cold conceit?
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
And pretty and wholesome and neat –
Though the wine she uncorks
Is labeled from Forks –
Are you sure she’s the one you should meet?
Thanks again everyone for your delightful limericks. I’ve very much enjoyed them.
This week’s contest is officially over and a new one has begun. You can find out who won this week’s Limerick of the Week here.
As for my new Limerick-Off Challenge, I’ve posted it here: Nameless Limerick.
Thanks again!
A gal who seemed guiless and sweet
was blessed with delectable feet.
But she danced dusk till dawn
and developed a corn,
so was greteful to find a good seat!
Thanks for your fun limerick Jinksy.