Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BITE or BYTE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: August 10, 2019)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BITE or BYTE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to THREATS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best THREAT-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 11, 2019 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 10, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BITE/BYTE-rhyme limerick:
A fellow who’d spent his last dime
On a reference book about rhyme,
Wrote light verse day and night.
Some was trite. Some had bite.
But none sold, so he moved on to crime.
And here’s my THREAT-themed limerick:
“Kindly don’t call me ‘Ms.’ Call me ‘Miss,’
Said a gal with a rather loud hiss.
“All that feminist crap
Makes me sick,” went her rap.
“And I’ll sue you cuz ‘Ms.’ is a diss.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Feminism, Feminism Humor, Feminism Satire, Humor Writing, Light Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing & Publishing Humor, Writing Prompts
I am teaching our doggy to bite
Any yellow-haired morons on sight,
So both Johnson and Trump
Will be nipped in the rump
As our dog wags his tail with delight.
The President’s not very bright,
Though he’s burning with hatred and spite.
I believe his IQ’s
’Bout the size of his shoes,
And he’s several bits short of a byte.
“Moody Swinger”
The vampire I dated last night,
Was knightly, gentile and polite,
First, handsome and charming,
Worst, stunning!, alarming!,
He’d the neck to come in for a bite!
I’m a “senior” and feel obsolete
The guys used to say I was “neat”
When a bug comes to bite
I feel such delight
At least SOMEONE still thinks I am sweet!
Those gals with no teeth are alright!
They are clever and sexy and bright
And you mustn’t forget
You will never regret:
That they’ll suck you with not one damn bite
My computer was not acting right
I couldn’t get into one site
Went to “Fixcom” at noon
But the sign that “Soon
We’ll be back; just went out for a byte”
When trolls try to bait you, don’t bite.
You find great links, sources to site.
They don’t care about facts,
UnConstitutional acts,
Upsetting you is their delight.
Provoking a bully is dumb,
Plays into his hands, and then some.
Loves to make idle threats,
That’s as far as he gets,
Sometimes, best shut up-just stay mum.
Same Theme
Mr. Trump had a sad situation
Because of a grim confrontation
Which started him cryin’
Cuz someone named Brian
Said “You are a threat to the nation”
Mad: Could you please delete the FIRST Trump limerick I wrote at 1:27 pm
today?
The second one (1:53 pm) has better meter.
Thank You,
Lisi
*******
Done.
It was a nightmare, an awful fright
Count Dracula was taking a bite
But then I awoke
‘Twas hubby’s sick joke
He slept downstairs the rest of the night.
With the racism, rancor, and spite
From a dimwit whose head just ain’t right,
It’s depressing to know:
Eighteen months still to go.
May I please have a bullet to bite?
“Matchmaker. Match Winner”.
The matchmaker offered a dowry,
To me for his niece, pretty ‘Flow’ry’,
I didn’t take bite,
As I’m doin’ alright,
I’m the caddy for golfer, Shane Lowry!
Addendum: Come on, Offaly. (We are terribly proud of SHANE, from our Parish and County).
“Whiskey Talks”
I’m Paddy, I’m Irish, I’m tight,
I’m ready to give you a fight,
But if Granny’s related,
To your Dad, belated,
My bark is much worse than my bite!
Sign says “dog doesn’t bite”
But it’s up for the fight
Stick your hand here
Pull back some cheer
Other hand’s still alright
John Mosquito was getting uptight
Seems nothing was tasting just right
So he bit Jane Tequila
Cuz he wanted to feel a
Great buzz after taking one bite
The new Faceapp can give you frights
when you think of just how many bytes
of your data was stolen.
It gets your head rollin’
and you’ll age thirty years in mere nights!
“Man vs. Woman”
Mr. Jones had a real “sniffly” wife
This condition did not cause her strife
But when he caught her cold
He wasn’t so bold
And it totally threatened his life
Mr. Rat had a very bad fright
(Saw a snake in the dead of the night)
His pal said, “Don’t worry
There’s no need to scurry;
He might eat you but never will bite”
correction of meter: L3 from 8:45 am
“Man vs. Woman”
Mr. Jones had a real “sniffly” wife
This condition did not cause her strife
When he caught her bad cold
He wasn’t so bold
And it totally threatened his life
“Please, Can I have Some More?”
I again got an “hon’rable mention”,
And announce it is now my intention,
To persist, with endeavour,
If dismissed, ties may sever,
Would a hat-trick be outta the question?
“Last Brexit Stage Left”
“I’m Boris, P.M., here’s my sound-byte;
‘No back-stop’! It just doesn’t sound right,
I’ll sort it, you see,
For I have a degree”,
(I fear he ain’t sound or at all bright!)
(I fear he ain’t sound or at all-bright!)
A conservative wasp tried to bite
A leftist one dark stormy night
But he just couldn’t see
So he bit an oak tree
Cuz he flew much too far to the right
A squid may change colour the second he
Feels threat or the least hint of jeopardy
But Donald will bellow
Turn all kinds of yellow
Impeachment’s the best sort of remedy
“Bedtime Routine”
You must cover the parrot at night,
And make sure the fly curtain’s airtight,
Cockroaches devour,
The ants in the shower,
Wet the bed so the bugs do not bite!
“Go Chuck Berry”
Mr. Johnny BEE Good was uptight
Seems that nothing was tasting just right
So he stung Ms. Tequila
Cuz he wanted to feel a
Great BUZZ after only one bite
“Poor Sucker”
Vlad flew in last week from Romania,
Yet, imagines he’s from Pennsylvania,
He turns day into night,
And he won’t eat a bite,
But, transfusions relieve his woe – mania!
A fellow was high as a kite
‘Cause his girlfriend had made him that night
Special brownies and cakes.
Yes, she knows what it takes
For a guy to feel love at first bite.
“Threat Borne Out”
“Don’t you ever dare do that again”,
The expectant bitch growled, in her pain,
To her puppies, all kicking,
“Or I’ll give ye a licking”,
But they did, and she did – it’s mundane!
But they did, and she did – the Great Dane!
“Threat” and “Bite”
My Pit Bull’s a threatening sight
But to me, he is just a delight
Since I gave him some jerky
I’m feelin’ real perky
Cuz without all his teeth he can’t bite
“Something Else To Feed Your Pit Bull”
My Pit Bull’s a threatening sight
But to me, he is just a delight
Cuz I fed him jawbreakers
From “Hard Candy Bakers”
Now without all his teeth, he can’t bite
“Fake! Lies!”
The ‘Times’ fired Boris for lying,
(Incompetent quote falsifying),
Isn’t it rather sinister,
He is now the Prime Minister,
A loose cannon – most terrifying!
“Guess Who’s Not Returning For Dinner!”
Come, have a go, if you’re tough enough,
I’ll rebuff you, you puff, ‘til you call the bluff,
Then, when on the loo,
I dare say you’ll rue,
The day you partook of my stroganoff!
“Sorry You Called?”
“Hello, I’m not in at the minute,
Be brief with your message, begin it,
With age, sex, location,
And key information,
Your address and when no one is in it!”
“Fear not!” Trixie said. “Just sit tight!
Buster’s bark is much worse than his bite!”
And so, trusting her word,
I sat tight–but incurred
Twelve deep gashes I’m nursing tonight.
Stop threatening me, or I’ll call
The cops on your thuggish cabal!
In the past, I’ve allowed
Myself to be cowed
But no longer! I’m not playing ball.
“Empty Vessels”.
Both Donald and Boris delight,
In ass-licking t’other, despite,
The truth, to be told,
They’re flaccid and old,
And, between them, they’re good for one byte!
“Not Only Is Jennifer Lopez A Triple Threat”
It seems that I’m always in debt
And that makes me very upset
I have lost all my hair
Been attacked by a bear
And that is my famed “Triple Threat”
Those “kissing bugs” give me a fright
I am always afraid they will bite
So I’m home when it’s dark
Never go to the park
Just don’t trust them; they’re real fly-by-night
On the plane, I got such a bad bite
Saw that bug, but I just couldn’t fight
The hostess came by
And said, “That horse fly
Was taking a cheap non-stop flight.
a minor change (L5) to emphasize a POINT!
Mr. Jones had a real “sniffly” wife
Whose condition did not cause her strife
When he caught her bad cold
He wasn’t that bold
You would think that it threatened his life
Mr. Wasp came to give me a bite
I told him “That’s just not polite”
“If you change your religion
It might help a smidgen
And then you will do what is right”
He claims he goes “out for a bite”
But something sure never seems right
Then at bedtime I cry
Cuz he dreams and says “I
just love to go bump in the night”
My daughter’s a slovenly sight
When she eats she takes too big a bite
She looks like a pig
She’s outrageously big
But I still think she’s cute (well, not quite)
With my false teeth I no longer bite
Into steak, (just can’t put up the fight)
But I never confess
That it causes distress
So I just say “It doesn’t taste right”
Though the ‘squad of four’ creates much fright
And its leader rants each day and night,
Don’t fret GOP,
Because AOC
Has a bark a lot worse than her bite.
A self-fulfilling threat
“We’ll be coming for those”, Donald snorted,
“With immigrant blood.” It’s reported
His grandfather, Fred,
Was a German who fled …
Hey! Can ICE have the Donald deported?
“Where No Man Went Before”
O Captain, the Klingons are rising,
We’re hit and the ship’s vaporizing,
And, to add to our plight,
Mister Spock got a bite,
With Uhura and he vulcanizing!
“Fever Reliever”
According to Vulcan folklore,
“Pon Farr” can be cured by a whore,
So, Spock’s bloody bite,
Can all be put right,
When he goes where no man came before!
Got rid of those bed bugs that bite
And now I can fine’ly sleep tight
But what’s that I hear?
(Climbing right in my ear)
Did something just whisper “Night Night” ??
“Stern Warning”.
Listen up, class, your speling’s all rong,
Stop fighting! Quit smoking! The pong,
Is choking me here,
And, I’ll leave you next year,
If you all don’t know all Barney’s song!
We’ve only just recently met
But now I am starting to sweat
She said, “Let’s get married”
And now I am harried
Cuz that is one serious threat
Something’s itchy; it must be a bite
Don’t worry, my sweet, I’m alright
Yet one can’t be sure
So you’ll have to “endure”
It might kill me, so dear, not tonight
Saw a Pit Bull way out of control
His owner then tried to console
Me: said, “He won’t bite
So there’s no need for fright
He merely just swallows things whole”
All dogs have such wonderful charm
They never do people much harm
If you get a small bite
You must be real polite
And say, “PLEASE, may I have back my arm?”
correction, L5 from 9:51 am
Saw a Pit Bull way out of control
His owner then tried to console
Me: said, “He won’t bite
So there’s no need for fright
He will simply just swallow you whole
We went to see “Cool Megabyte”
The guitarist sure had it just right
It was really so neat
That me and my sweet
Will see one more gig Friday night
“Free House”
Son, Mom and I need to take flight,
So, we’re off for a day and a night,
Here’s a ‘Ben’ for the cleaning,
If you get my meaning,
If you screw up, a bullet you’ll bite!
That orange dude sez he’s always right
We won’t concede though. We’ve come to fight
If he gets a snakebite
We’ll host a big yahrzeit
And duly celebrate for all our might
“Prom Bomb”.
Young man, I trust you have got style,
Our daughter’s too good to beguile,
So, don’t put your schlong,
Where it doesn’t belong,
Or, you’ll walk, at gunpoint, down the aisle!
“Just A Dream”
The leftists were filled with delight
Since they won their definitive fight
They have censored the Pres.
Due to crap that he says
And he’s not allowed one more sound bite
“The Antique Computer Store Site”
Was truly a wondrous delight
The first one was bad
And the cavemen were sad
That it crashed cuz it just had one byte
Three years ago “Dem’s” were upset
“Bout a battle they’ll never forget
From the “right” came the buzz
That the new motto was
“Stupidity Now Ain’t A Threat”
A truly remarkable sight –
His girth was a great as his height.
Whenever he ate
He put on more weight –
Each mouthful, a huge megabite!
‘Cracking one off’ – noun. from English slang terminology. The act of masturbation.
She’s completed her plan to marry a man that’s elegant, rich and well spoken
The plot suffered defeat In the honeymoon suite when the door to the toilet swung open
He was not such a toff
He was cracking one off
His vow to be true truly been broken
Mad: Could you please delete “Limerick Plot Summary”
from 9:38 am today, August 3rd. It is only half a limerick by mistake
Thank You, Lisi
***
Done.
“Limerick Plot Summary”
Sweet “Snow White” was stunning and bright
But the Queen felt that just wasn’t right
So she poisoned an apple
(One cool way to grapple)
And offered the lady a bite
Well, being so very polite
She chomped until “out went the light”
But awoke from her spell
Cuz the Prince knew darn well
All it took was a smooch and a bite
Oops! Rhyming Error!
Charming Snow White was pretty and bright
But the Queen felt that just wasn’t right
So she poisoned an apple
(One cool way to grapple)
And offered the lady a bite
So now the sweet lovely Snow White
Chomped away until “out went the light”
But awoke from her spell
Cuz the Prince knew darn well
All it took was a smooch and a bite!
A pianist not very bright
Chewed gum while performing at night
And in the sonata
He ate a tomata
But his Bach was no worse than his bite
Edit or delete this
The vampire took a big bite
Then flew away like a wind kite
The girl’s neck was raw
Shaped like a large claw
When looked at, she was given a fright
My plan? I would sit down and write
A poem with meaning and bite.
But after I struggled,
With words that I juggled,
No nibbles it seems are in sight.
The president’s always itching to fight
Threatens with U.S. military might
But when push comes to shove
Turns into a dove
Once again all bark and no bite
It seems that I tend to forget
My gun, (how that makes me upset!)
When I say, “I will shoot
If I don’t get your loot”
It’s always a waste of a threat
I remember when John and I met
(A day I will sure not forget)
To Home Depot we went
He was just so content
And to me it was life’s biggest threat
Ev’ry Halloween’s fun, you can bet!
And my son says “There’s one way to get
Tasty candy and more
When they open the door
Just request a good treat or a threat”
At the clinic I had to ask “Why me?”
With legs in the air for the Gynae
In the wrong ward
Help cries ignored
From now just call me hermoine
My wife Chris has just turned into Mrs Malaprop. She just told a friend I had just seen the ‘gynaecologist’ (oncologist). Have included above as a ‘threat’ to my masculinity.
He said nothing, made no idle chat,
But the threat was still clear, for all that:
“Great and mighty am I;
Disobey me and die!”
(That’s a typical ‘tude for a cat.)
B etter run from that wasp that’s in sight
I t could give you a real sting-full bite
T oday it ate fruit
E ndless food it won’t suit
S o just shoo it away in its flight
(acrostic)
She can sing! She can act! She can dance!
And for years was the “Queen of Romance.”
But this June she turned sixty.
It’s sad, what a pity;
Her “Three Threats” now get nary a glance.
B eware of those bullies who are
U nder-handed and go way too far
L ike the ones on your bus
L et them make a big fuss
(Y outhful traumas can leave a big scar)
(“threat” acrostic)
“Another Wasp Acrostic”
B etter run from that wasp that’s in sight
I t could give you a real sting-full bite
T emptation is great
E v’ry human is bait
S o just shoo it away in its flight
“May The Force Be With You”.
Count Dracula, high as a kite,
Flew upward and ‘way outta sight,
Into space, where Darth Vader,
Misplaced his inhaler,
So the bat, to the rescue, gave bite!
Trump’s method is bluster and threats;
His message – as dumb as it gets.
Perhaps one day hence,
This will all make some sense,
But no one should make any bets.
“Plot Summary” (“Jaws”)
Spielberg’s “Jaws” was a real scary sight
‘Bout some men and a shark and a fight
The dumb guy was Quint
And all due to his stint
Ended up with one HUGE Megabite
(Adding on to an earlier one from a while back)
Aunt Millie will quite often bake
Some brownies, or maybe a cake.
With her Saturday stop
At the cannabis shop,
There’s magic in every flake.
He thought he would have one more bite
Which followed him into the night.
That brownie, it seems,
Re-appeared in his dreams;
Up there in the form of a kite.
Iv’e been dieting, trying to fight
Eating portions that just aren’t right
So when mom baked a pie
I told her that “I
Would like just a bit, not a byte”
Mom’s Apple Pie
Mom made apple pie with “clove spice”
Also cinnamon, (tasted so nice)
Then divided EIGHT slices
Each one with the spices
And we all had a bit, not a byte
“Holy St. Peter!”
Signore, step back from the vehicle,
By Vatican law, it’s heretical,
For you to conceal,
The Papa-mobile,
Or you go to hell, it’s empirical!
“Fruit Cocktail”.
Just a spoonful of sugar, they say,
Goes down with an apple a day,
But, a prune is alright,
Before noon, for a bite,
Of a laxative; then, kumquat May!
Apologies:
“May” should read “may”. Lower case ‘m’. My typist is a capital idiot! (Moi).
“Bye, Sky!”
I’m blind, you see, so I can’t see,
The point to high rental T.V.,
Shove your bill, as my sister,
Who knows my transistor,
Can press the right knob all for free!
“Correction”
Mom baked apple pie for tonight
(A real yummy home-made delight)
Cut it into EIGHT slices
Each one with great spices
And we all had a bit, not a byte
I got a severe raccoon bite
He told me, “I know it’s not right:
But I couldn’t resist
So I had to persist
Cuz it’s Friday, you know (garbage night”)
We dined at “The Real Cozy Nook”
All night long, at his phone, he did look
Then he said I was rude
And he threatened a feud
Cuz I sat there while reading a book
I roamed through the forest at night;
One tree was surprisingly bright.
Two eyes in the bark
That gleamed in the dark–
Who could know that the critter would bite?
If you argue what is sweetest, I won’t put up a fight
Orange, ugly and the kumquat are all a sheer delight
A citrus worse?
Caused lips to purse
That’s lemon’s bitter bite
Mom and Dad said if I do not clean
My room they will have to be mean:
They threatened to bring
Me to Burger King
So with both of them I will be seen
My Daddy’s a really nice chap
Yet he threatened me in a quick snap:
He said, “Next time you go
To steal some more dough
You must download your punishment app”
A computer store owner named Wright
Has a good sense of humor and might
Post a sign when he’ll go
Out to lunch so folks know:
Be Wright back, went to get a quick byte.
A computer nerd started a fight
Over how one should spell a term right.
He said, “Please don’t quibble.
Four bits make a nybble
With ‘y’ not an an ‘i’ — a half-byte.”
A director who’s films are quite lewd,
Would tell a new actor “I’m rude
If somehow I fail
To disclose one detail:
Show up and you’re gonna get screwed.”
“His BARK is much worse than his bite,”
Warned the dog owner, late in the night.
But as doggy eased in,
I started to grin;
His licks washed away all my fright.
“Bitchy Comment”.
My doggy’s perceptive and bright,
She grunts ‘baby talk’ day and night,
And when strangers appear,
She threatens, in fear,
“My wuff is ‘way wuss than my bite!”
“Bite Bark”.
“I regret that I mentioned my ‘bark’ “,
Said the ash to wise oak in the the park,
Said oak, “Don’t send in it,
‘til very last minute,
Lest peelers should steal your remark!”
I went out to Dinner tonight
Aspiring to find a nice bite
But the waitress so rude
Served me tea that was stewed.
I can say that the service was shite..
In our Great Australian Bight
If the water is rough you’ll have fright
And the land off the coast
Is more arid than most
Let the last person turn out the light.
“It’s a promise my dear not a threat”
Said the wife to her hubby -a vet
And I don’t mean to rouse
But bring snakes in the house
Then one of us “OUT” has to get..
“It’s Not A Dirty Window; It’s “Dog Art”
My Dachshund is on a “crusade”
For 2 weeks he hasn’t “obeyed”
Fine’ly told him if he
Doesn’t listen to me
I will threaten to pull down the shade
To kiddies, a parent would drone:
“Behave – or you’ll sit all alone!”
That’s back in the day;
Now they’re likely to say:
“Enough – or I’m taking your phone!”
A fellow whose patience was light,
Took a hammer to use in a fight
With his laptop; he said
‘Cause it filled him with dread.
A broken computer can’t byte.
I think it is rather befudd’ling
Not to mention ex-treme-e-ly mudd’ling
That my bed bugs don’t bite
Yet ev-er-ey night
They always insist upon cudd’ling
threat and bite
Mama bed bug says, “Sweetie, good night”
And then she says “Darling, sleep tight”
Though she never makes threats
Mama never forgets
To remind me to “slip in a bite”
Didn’t want that darn spider to bite
So I thought I’d be clever and bright
I doused some hair spray
He did not go away
Yet his coif turned out perfectly right
OR
Didn’t want that darn spider to bite
So I thought I’d be clever and bright
I doused him with spray
He did not go away
But his hairdo was such a delight
The current Limerick-Off ends tomorrow, Saturday, at 10 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.
“Don’t Attempt To Get Fresh With Me, Man”.
God help us, my roomie’s a schmuck,
Oh Lordy, I was thunderstruck,
When he hollered profuse,
And profaning abuse,
And dumbstruck, as he ended with “fuck”!
“Avenging And Bright”.
Professor! – my essay – a quibble,
Your comment – a scribble – “it’s drivel”,
Don’t mean to persist,
Say more, I insist,
Expand on your drivel – I’m civil!
Line 5:
Expound on your drivel, I’m civil!
“Life Stinks. Make The Best Of It”.
Two rats in the sewer, an abyss,
One squeaked: “What a shit life is this?
But, it’s Friday, tonite,
We can go for a bite,
And spend all nite long on the piss”!
Line 5:
And spend the weekend on the piss!
“I Owe My Success To My Wonderful Upbringing”.
My Daddy ran off with my Granny,
While Mammy just sat on her fanny,
I n’er got a bite,
But turned out alright,
I’m a sore, skinny, two-timing tranny!
Madeleine, re August 7, 11.25 p.m. silly limerick (“Bitchy Comment”),
Line 4 amendment:
“She stutters, in fear,” to replace original line – “She threatens, in fear”.
No big deal. Sorry for being an ass in the pain!
I always get my own way,
So you’d better do what I say.
If you don’t do what I ask,
I’ll take you to task,
And you’ll more than rue the day.
She took a dainty bite
From his offering that night…
“I have to say,
I hope you’re not gay,
Because it tastes like shite”.
I’ve had it with you this morning,
Now this is your final warning.
If you don’t clean up your room
At the latest by noon…
You’ll be sleeping under the awning.
Alternate ending…
And don’t stand there blinking and yawning.
Someone took a big bite
From the cake I finished last night.
It wasn’t a mouse
As there are none in the house
So it’s one of you kids, am I right?
The News, be it ever more trite
Panders, exclusive, to the sound-bite.
It’s best if it’s galling
Frightful, appalling
“We’ll have good ratings tonight.”
Vicious, brimming with spite
Her comments burn as they bite.
Her friends disappear,
They don” want her near…
Sadly she thinks she is right.
The snake said take a bite.
Adam said, “Ok. All right.”
Then God said, “Who ate?”
He replied with, “My mate!
Eve said, “That wasn’t right.”
I’d invite you for a quick bite
But the finances are a bit tight.
If you’d like last week’s mash,
Or could stump up with some cash
We could have McDonald’s tonight.
Thumbs-up from Trump in El Paso
“Yeah, the guy was a nutcase, a fruit,
And his threats took a terrible route.
For this baby, I’m sad –
Lost its mum and its dad –
But it gives me a great photo-shoot.”
With an edible, one little bite,
And I’m soon flying high as a kite.
Should they legalize pot?
Maybe so, maybe not;
Could be wrong, but it just feels so right.
Saw a spider in bed Friday night
But I truly did not feel much fright
Because it was itsy
And excessively bitsy
It just gave me one tiny bite
One day Mother Nature got pissed;
“I will raise your sea levels,” she hissed.
But no one would listen
Till coastlines went missin’;
Goodbye were whole cities soon kissed.
In junk foods I always would wallow
Till “hubby” made rules I should follow:
“Eat only what’s right
Never take a big bite
And always remember to swallow”
If you’re threatened, it truly won’t last
It is something you’ll always get past
So here’s my advice
Listen close; be precise:
“Get the hell away. Run really fast.”
“Fictional Nightmare”
All publishers feel a great threat
And ruminate till they’re upset
That downloads of books
By nefarious crooks
Will cause them to be in great debt
“Lower The Tone. No. Raise The Key”.
I’m Loretta, a coal-miner’s daughter,
And am proud of my roots, Butcher’s Holler,
Poor Mom had to bite,
Daddy’s finger all nite,
To stop him goin’ down where he ought ‘er!
“Dated! Berated!”
It’s too late, I’m inebriated,
To mention the girl I first dated,
We mated alright,
I think, but a bite,
Came and then I think I was deflated!
Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Limerick-Off Award 328. Congratulations to the winners!
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Card.