Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DEAL or ORDEAL or IDEAL at the end of any one line
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DEAL or ORDEAL or IDEAL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ARGUMENTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ARGUMENT-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 24, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 23, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
I just had a nightmare — so real,
That it felt like the dreadful ordeal
Had been suffered while waking;
A hand I’d been shaking
Turned into a slippery eel.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Nightmare Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Sleep Poetry, Writing Prompts
For a woman to write with appeal,
Punctuation’s what’s needed, I feel.
When she talks, she will say,
“Miss a comma, okay.
Miss a period? That’s a big deal!”
A mammogram’s quite a big deal.
The way breasts are squished is unreal.
Breasts are mangled and pressed
‘Til it hurts your whole chest.
Like a boob is the way that you feel.
The Gaud Father offers a deal
Dems cannot refuse or appeal:
Kneel like Mike Pence,
Give him his fence,
Or millions of children will reel!
It’s useless to argue with Trump,
Whose brain is, at best, a small lump
Producing a series
Of con-spiracy theories
That always erupt from his rump.
acrostic
P asquale was known as a “heel”
O r sometimes we’d say he would steal!
K ept our eyes on this guy
E ach one knew he was sly
(R emembered to not let him deal)
“Wifey” left me; I made my own meal!
That argument surely was real!
So I found some old crap
And then gave it a “zap”
(Seems cooking is quite an ordeal)
Got a really cool automobile
(Always knew that used cars were a steal)
The engine was missing
Which caused some slight hissing
I bought it! Oh Wow! What a deal!
“Terrible Argument”
The toilet roll’s really a wonder!
Especially pulled from way under
When John turned it around
It just dropped to the ground!
And that is what tore us asunder.
The hooker gave Donald her spiel:
“Oh, your penis is simply ideal!
What a wonderful dick!
Not too long, not too thick!”
(Thinks: “It’s more of a snack than a meal.”)
“Lemme tell you the art of the deal:
Just break promises, lie, cheat and steal.
All Republicans know
It’s the best way to go …
You say it’s dishonest? Get real!”
(Double)
Though the guy had seduction in view,
She had argued the whole evening through.
At the end of the meal,
She explained: “Here’s the deal –
If you want me, my girl-friend comes too.”
(One day soon …?)
“Believe me, my life’s an ordeal,
And I’m planning to make an appeal,
’Cause my cellmate, Mike Pence,
Never showers – too dense! –
And the smell from his ass makes me reel.”
My grandparents are having a tiff
Of divorce in the air there’s a whiff
He’s been raising hell
I asked what’s that smell
It’s grandma, she’s smoking a spliff
You think Stone has cojones? Get real.
He’ll take one look at Mueller and deal.
When he’s finished, this crook
Will have written a book
With the title “The Art of the Squeal.”
The bistro had soft candle lighting,
Her smile was come-hither, inviting.
But her throat got a lump
When he praised Donald Trump.
They ended up angry and fighting.
Each day it becomes an ordeal
To read more of Trump’s BS spiel.
His appeals to his base
Are a national disgrace.
He lies with through his teeth with such zeal.
Her smile has great warmth and appeal.
As kindness goes, she’s the real deal.
She’s more abstruse than you think,
She laughs and says with a wink!
Who knows what her tales will reveal.
Tony Schwartz ghosted Trump’s “The Art of the Deal”
Made a fiction Trump of great appeal.
Trump’s really thin-skinned, gets mad;
Short attention span- it’s sad.
A huge hoax that he’s such a big wheel.
I don’t like to argue and fight,
‘Cause you know that I’m always right.
Let’s drink wine and sup,
Then pretend to make up;
Love further, then call it a night.
When the truth has become an ordeal,
And the facts have all lost their appeal.
Like Salvador Dali,
You betcha by golly,
Reality’s turning surreal.
My first husband had looks and appeal
The second was kind, (so unreal)
The third was a gem
And I met all of them
On a game show called “Let’s Make A Deal”
My “hubby” said “Wow! such a deal
I just bought a car; what a steal!
It will have to be towed
Every day on the road
Cause it seems to be missing the wheel”
In El Paso, Trump comes to call
says this once bad place proves we need wall.
El Paso gets real,
says ‘Dude, what’s the deal?”
Trump snaps, “Just nod and say y’all.”
“Arguments”
My husband just can’t see the light
So we always get into a fight
It is such a disgrace
That these quarrels take place
Cause I know that each time I am right.
“Let’s play cards,” said my date. “Look, I’ll deal
One card each; if you lose, you must peel.”
He drew ten; I drew nine;
He snapped “Well?” I said “Fine!” —
And prepared all the spuds for our meal.
acrostic
D iana had such “strange” appeal
E very day, something weird she’d reveal
V icious words she would YELL
I was living in hell
L ooks to me I got one nasty deal
It’s so hard to prepare a good meal
The taste has to have “zip and zeal”
We shed great BIG TEARS!
For just so many years
Chopping onions is such an ordeal
Mad: above limerick, line 5: Cutting onions is such an ordeal
Should be Chopping onions is such an ordeal
Could you change that for me?
Thank You,
Lisi
****
Done
Winter Blizzard
A snow day does not mean no job
I must brave the cold though I sob
So crank up the zeal
Confront the ordeal
In truth though, it may trim the mob
The Adventure
I’ll tell you about my ordeal
It got my attention I feel
And I got a shock
I could hardly walk
I’d jumped in to swim with an eel
You just aimed a kick at my head
And after, you wished I was dead
Then saying I’m crackers
And twisting my knackers
Tell me, is it something I said?
I trust you will never reveal
These crotch selfies. So, here’s the deal:
If these show up on Twitter
I’ll be sore, pissed, and bitter;
Your ass will take eons to heal.
Do you think I should marry my beau?
There are arguments–both con and pro.
He’s obnoxious and loud
Still, he’s SO well endowed,
And it’s hard to resist all that dough….
My mom’s making such a big deal
This punishment’s simply unreal
My car keys she hid
And ALL that I did
Was just fall asleep at the wheel
Achilles got quite the raw deal:
He got shot in the foot. The appeal
Went from Greece to on high:
“O you gods! Will he die?”
The response from Olympus: “Yes, he’ll.”
“How To Quickly End An Argument”
He caught me with some other guy
I really just thought I would die
He yelled, “You and me
Are through, dear Marie”
Then I told him the right word was “I”
We women are smart as can be
Please men, do not argue; you’ll see:
That you always will lose
So never refuse
To say, “You are right. I agree”
acrostic
C arlito is just so unreal
H e bought a cheap automobile:
(U sed car with no brakes)
M akes real stupid mistakes
P roclaimed it was such a “Great Deal”
When you’re driving, you auto not peel
Out real fast; torques folks off a good deal.
It is fuelish, you see;
Builds bad car-ma. Don’t be
Biggest nut that’s behind steering wheel.
So Trump wrote “The Art of the Deal”
But let me try keepin’ it real:
His agenda reclusive
And actions elusive
Feel more like The Dart of the Eel
Fluffy goaded Spot into a fight,
But before he could get in one bite,
She zoomed in, bit his rear,
Raked his side, clawed his ear,
Chomped his muzzle, then streaked out of sight.
Twofer:
“I’ll make dinner all week,” said my spouse,
“If you let me off cleaning the house.”
“Are you crazy? No deal!
Your idea of a meal
Is cold hot dogs! Start scrubbing, you louse!”
His appearance was far from ideal.
Only she knew his hidden appeal.
Others saw this odd pair,
And they’d giggle and stare,
But each evening he’d rouse a loud squeal.
(responding to Sharon’s first post above)
Then he said “I propose something greater:
To your sexual whims I will cater.
Skip the kitchen ordeal,
We’ll make love with great zeal –
And if time allows, cook taters later!”
REVISED VERSION OF LIMERICK WRITTEN FEBRUARY 10th
“Terrible Argument”
The toilet roll’s really a wonder
When properly pulled from way under
But John turned it around
So it dropped to the ground
And that is what tore us asunder
Activity Room Argument at “Senior Life’
It’s really a terrible shame
That “seniors” just won’t take the blame!
At Bingo last night
There was such a big fight
And that was the end of the game!
We heard that Doreen had B-2
But Edna said “That is not TRUE!
Told her she couldn’t “hear”
“So please disappear
And with all you old farts I am THROUGH”
Not trying to cause a hassle,
Trump held a rally in El Paso,
O’Rourke”s envy he couldn’t conceal,
So a small protest was his deal,
It turns out that Beto’s an asshole.
I hate prostate exams as I get older,
My doctor friend said I need to be bolder,
“It’s not that big a deal,
You don’t need to squeal,
Unless you feel a hand on each shoulder!”
They sometimes may quarrel at night;
Declaring who’s wrong and who’s right.
But then he will say
“Let’s just call it a day.”
Cause he’d rather dicker than fight.
acrostic
C arlito has real great appeal
L oves to juggle, tell jokes and reveal
O range shoes that are floppy
W hile he drives his jalopy
N ow isn’t that such a fun deal?
correction of line 4 in above limerick:
C arlito has real great appeal
L oves to juggle, tell jokes and reveal
O range shoes that are floppy
W hile in his jalopy
N ow isn’t that such a fun deal?
the silken ladder is an ordeal
for oboists it has no appeal
when your nerve falls apart
for the sake of your art
you keep it together with steel
Said his wife, “I do not want to fight!
Can we just call it quits for tonight?”
“No we can’t, cuz by Jove,
Sherz my name’s Lefty Grove
We are staying until I am right!”
We were trying to thrash out a deal
But the swine knew my Achilles heel
He hit my weak spot
With all that he’d got
And once again I fell for his spiel
acrostic
F elisha told Jack, “Here’s the deal:
L et’s make love with real passionate zeal
I n the evening, I’ll beep
N ear your house in my Jeep
G olly Gee! I hope no one will squeal”
“Argument On Its Way”
If your wife starts that smart-aleck walk
And you feel that she’s going to squawk
A tiffs in the air
So “hubby” beware:
When she says, “Darling, we need to talk”
HOW TO AVOID ONE OF THE TOP TEN SPOUSAL ARGUMENTS!
My friend said, “Your house is damn FREEZING”
” I must say it’s very displeasing”
I said, “DON’T TOUCH THAT SWITCH”
“Cause my “hub” will just bitch”
“I’d much rather spend my life SNEEZING”
#MeToo has not yet hit China,
Chinese men need to use the vagina,
To thrust it daily with great zeal,
As preventative medicine it is ideal,
For the horrible plague of Oriental Angina.
Dear lawnmower, you get your kicks
Making much noise and stirring up sticks
That bite at my heel
So, here is the deal
If you nip me again, I’ll throw bricks
My funny bone, I bumped today
It was painful, not funny, I say
It was quite the ordeal
The pain made me kneel
Now, both my knees are not okay
He drove with one hand on the wheel;
The other was copping a feel.
Responding in kind,
She said “Hope you don’t mind;
Your stick shift is not a big deal.”
His retort was “I’m proud of my crank,
You mean spirited blankety blank,
Finding your boobs’ an ordeal,
Their tiny size is unreal,”
“OH NO, what you said was a prank?!?”
My gal and I just had a spat.
We have fights at the drop of a hat
Which I start, by design,
‘Cause I’ve taken a shine
To the make-up sex. Yes, it’s all that.
Lolita and John had a spat
She said, “Hubby, dear, that is that!
“Here’s my final good bye
Since it’s clearly that I
Spend more quality time with the cat!”
Tying cash to a teasing reveal,
The stripper was ready to deal.
For a “Sawbuck” or “Fin,”
She would show off more skin,
But a “Benjamin” earned them a feel.
acrostic
C arlito buys gifts at a “steal”
H e always just finds a “great deal”
E very Christmas for Jaques
A real snazzy sock!
P retty soon they will all have a heel.
A money mad girl from Great Billing
Who, for coins of the realm would be willing
For three pence, the deal
Would give you a feel
Now think what she’d do for a shilling!
“Patricia and Brian”
I’ll tell you just why I was cryin’
Last night I was fightin’ with Brian
I asked, “Do I look fat?”
He said, “NO! my sweet Pat”
(I punched him because he was lyin’)
This time I had more than a frown!
My husband just acts like a clown!
Our divorce is in place
Cause it’s such a disgrace
That he won’t put the toilet seat down.
I would laugh at an actor who spoke
Like a bumpkin — but this is no joke!
Having Trump at the wheel
Is a horrid ordeal.
Won’t he do us a favor and croak?
Their visit was such an ordeal;
An argument struck every meal.
The guest room’s a mess;
When we move, I must stress
It’s something we’ll have to conceal.
Mad – could you change line 4 of the above to read:
“When we move, I must stress”
Thanks, Dave
****
Done.
The dream I had seemed very real.
I was granted three wishes. Good deal!
I chose ending all war,
Wealth and joy for the poor,
And a weekend with Jessica Biel.
ACROSTIC
I n this age that is just so unreal
C omputers have caused lots of zeal
O n everyone’s screen
N ew symbols are seen
S o people, we just gotta’ “deal”
Theme: argument
With sisters and brothers it’s true.
We argue–it’s just what we do!
In the car, in the bath
we incurred mother’s wrath,
so she punished us all through and through!
The judge said, “I’ll make you a deal
for a small fee, I’ll grant your appeal.”
but her plan did backfire
when the crook wore a wire,
then said, “let me off or I’ll squeal!”
When shopping for towels it’s ideal
to judge less by looks than by feel.
But those soft to the touch,
often cost twice as much,
so you might have to borrow–or steal!
Mr Trump says he’s king of the deal,
but his taxes he just can’t reveal.
All the lies, scams and hate,
that we’ve witnessed to date,
are simply just part of his spiel.
How long must we face this ordeal?
With a guy that decides things by feel?
Too stupid to read,
and immersed in his greed,
we’re nothing but cogs in his wheel.
He says he can make any deal.
But believe me, that none of it’s real.
He’s an arrogant nut,
who decides things by gut,
for what reasons he’s yet to reveal.
I’m done with the Sunday talk shows
that feature political foes.
They will argue and spin
over who’s going to win,
when the truth is that nobody knows!
We went to the ballots and chose,
after weighing the cons and the pros.
After many ordeals
Mr Trump now reveals,
that each day his incompetence grows.
Ocasio-Cortez is the new liberal sweetie;
With the brains of a bird named Tweety;
Free stuff for all is her deal;
She doesn’t even try to conceal,
That on the government she wants all to be needy.
Without substance she’s only a cutie;
Ironically, Feminists despise female beauty;
Politically she’s far from ideal;
With just “flash in the pan” appeal,
Unless she can get male votes as a nudie.
Trains, planes and the automobile,
Two out of three form the worst climate ordeal;
Airplanes have to be grounded;
But AOC has not expounded;
High speed rail to Hawaii-get real!
Mad: I must have double tapped-please delete one of the above.
Thanks – Mazz
******
Done.
argument about to happen
My darling, I have to agree
That Facebook’s enjoying to see!
When I browsed it last night
Something just wasn’t right
Cause who in the hell is Marie?
another argument on its way:
Don’t ever remind your wife, “Jo”
Bout something that she’ll ALWAYS know
If you mention the fight
That one time you were right
She might say she just “let it go”
acrostic
H ave you written some lim’riks yet feel
A sense they’re too long for appeal?
I n 3 lines might be better
K eep track of each letter
U ndercount for a true well-versed deal
They hired a stripper named Neil;
Whose stature was less than ideal.
Amid giggles and stares,
He jiggled his wares;
Though barely enough to appeal.
The Trump-Coulter spat:
Ann Coulter is back on his case;
“Trump’s border defeat’s a disgrace!”
Then back on her broom,
She flies out of the room;
Dead spiders are left in her place.
My “sweetie” could not see the light
He thought we were having a fight!
It wasn’t a spat
It simply was that
I was merely explaining I’m right.
How To Win Arguments On Current Affairs
Don’t argue or ever admit
That you’re stupid; you must never quit!
If given a fact
Here is how to react:
Be creative and make up some shit.
acrostic
W ith you I can no longer deal
A nd certainly from now on feel
T hat you give the wrong time
C onsidering I’m
H ours late for my date with Lucille
Supporters of Trump should be proud;
He’s showing he’ll never be cowed
By Congress and such.
He’ll argue as much,
While fondling nuts in the crowd.
Spooner tried Tinder, a punt
For extras he must pay up front
His dates an ordeal
He made this appeal
Release me from this Cupid stunt
Why must men make such a big deal
When their wives get behind the wheel
‘Women drivers!’ they cry
With no good reason why
Petty male chauvinism I feel
acrostic
W inona just had zilch appeal
A girl who was “Miss heart of steel”
C ould rob a bank
K ill folks (so rank)
O h man! this gal was one ordeal
How To avoid stress and not have an argument!
If your “hubby” is wearing one sock
My friend, do not go into shock
Both go visit your friends
And discuss all the “trends”
Then go home and just say “nighty night”
A lesson I learned from my mother in the 1960’s: how not to have an argument:
If “hubby dear” makes a wrong turn
Here’s something that all wives should learn:
Just keep your mouth shut
And sit on your butt
So what if you never return?
‘Ya just can’t win!
Even though you feel very intense
Don’t try to ” work in” your defense
All women will win
So just keep up that grin
(Even when they don’t make any sense)
Dispute
The doctor said “Here’s what you’ve got”
“Bronchitis is what you have caught”
“But doctor, you’re wrong!”
“Just tarried too long
With a bong, and doctor, it’s snot!”
error in rhyming in limerick written 4:56 pm Here is a similar one which rhymes:
“How to avoid stress and not have an argument”
If your “Hubby” looks off-beat and queer
Cause he’s wearing a sock on his ear
Both go visit your friends
And discuss latest “trends”
Then go home and say, “Nighty night, dear”
Even more stress avoidance
When his moment of passion was through
She said “anything else I should do”
Then the heartless bugger
Says “milk with no sugar”
It’s time she said toodeloo!
CORRECTION
If your “hubby” should make the wrong turn
Here is something that all wives should learn:
Just keep your mouth shut
And sit on your butt
Cause it simply is not your concern
OH MAN! Did he get some great deal
That Mercedes is just so unreal
I can’t offer a price
So I need your advice
Should I beg? Should I borrow? Or steal?
A R G U E and “ordeal” ( an attempt at a limerick and an acrostic )
A tiff is sure quite an ordeal
R emember it takes long to heal
G et a bottle of wine
U ncork (just divine!)
E nd your fight and go have a nice meal
“Two-for-one on new lenses, a steal”,
The optometrist said with appeal
Through his monocle stare.
“I buy mine by the pair”,
I replied, “So it’s hardly eye-deal!”
A handsome wrestler named Gough
Was fighting an opponent called Toff
The referees clutches
Saved him from crutches
Whilst the girls were pulling him off
The Bible Belt vote for the right
Helping Donald to fight the good fight
To depths they’re descending
They support ethnic cleansing
And just pray that Jesus is white
They went to a party last night
That led to a late-evening fight.
His wandering eyes
Earned another surprise:
“The couch!” as she reached for the light.
At first he would scream, then he’d shout
I was right. He was wrong. There’s no doubt
I pushed his fat ass
He whizzed straight through the glass
I must say that was some falling out.
Pardon my profanity…
People argue online quite a bit;
Many tweets are just quarrelsome shit.
I have one thing to say
About Twitter today:
The emphasis lies on the “Twit.”
The neophyte gambler had zeal
So he said to the dealer “just deal!”
With his purse soon consumed
He said as he fumed
“This game has lost it’s appeal.”
There once was a “senior” pursuit
Concerning a man judged as “cute”
Gert said, “I saw him first!”
And with that, Edna cursed
It was known as the “Blue Hair Dispute”
What started as friendly debate,
Turned heated – both sides were irate.
The subject (no doubt
You can figure it out)
Was baseball; who’s best at the plate?
There’s something about immigration
That’s tearing apart this great nation
However you feel
It is quite an ordeal
And triggers a loud altercation
(double duty)
We got into quite a loud wrangle
My Bill, I just wanted to strangle
He wore only one spur
And two I prefer
He jingled but he didn’t jangle
I’m sick of this fighting and fuss!
It makes me unsure about us
When you point at my “mounds”
And you snap “Lose some pounds!” —
Though your own gut’s held in by a truss.
Oh, Boy did I blow a big fuse!
And it isn’t like me to abuse!
But when John hung the clothes
In very neat rows
He mixed in the reds with the blues!
If you’re having a loud spousal fight
And he’s yelling with all of his might
Here’s a guaranteed trick
That will shut him up quick:
Tell him, “Darling, you’re thoroughly right”
This is a slightly changed “A R G U E” acrostic that I think is better than the one from Feb 18th at 10:45 AM
A tiff is sure quite an ordeal
R emember it takes time to heal
G et a bottle of wine
U ncork, don’t decline
E nd that fight and go have a nice meal
(double duty)
Scientologist, Muslim, Atheist or Satanist,
Inclusion of all religions we do insist;
It’s a human right is how we feel,
But if you’re Christian or Jew it’s no deal,
Such myopic beliefs the elite must resist.
Now Jesus is asserted to be linked to Trump,
That alleges Christians are now in the dump,
For Fascists this is prattle ideal,
Hatred for Christians they cannot conceal,
It’s that-or someone is talking out of their rump.
The Bible Belt prays that Jesus is white?
For Black and Hispanic Christians is this a delight?
Is this the ideal?
Please I appeal!
Sounds more like the dribble from Reverend Wright!
Listen, Wives! This may sound quite bizarre!
Do NOT let those “tiffs” go too far!
Please don’t get irate
Cause you still need your mate
When you just cannot open a jar
There once was a lady named Liz
Who everyone said was a “whiz”
When her “hub” bought a Jag
They would fight and she’d nag
Now her license plate says, “It Was His”
Miserly Harvey McNeal
Paid two forty-five for his meal;
While he got atrociously
Bad trichinosis, he
Raved, “But I got a good deal!”
A woman named Marjorie Steele
Tried to have sex with an eel
She said that a stocking
Helped with the shocking
And that it was worth the ordeal.
If you want to kill, maim or steal,
Your lawyer might plea out a deal,
But if you are tried
And become Bubba’s bride,
There’s always a chance on appeal.
Another insidious spiel;
Just part of this rotten ordeal.
Trump gaslights with glee
While the whole world can see
Our ship of state starting to keel.
She sternly argued for virginity:
As moral sex was not a reality:
But a dapper young lad named Peter,
Convinced her to let him eat her,
Now a nymph she includes beastiality!
His weakness was dating a strumpet
Said his wife could like it or lump it
Now feeling a failure
Over crushed genitalia
He now prefers toast over crumpet
Mad, please correct saiid to said (line 2).
*****
Done.
Ann argued daily with Joel
Who would leave the seat up on the bowl.
Joel had to leave town
The day Ann sat down
And got her ass wedged in the hole.
I worked very hard to conceal
Certain items I would not reveal:
Paper, metal and glass
Plastic bottles and brass
Damn recycling is such an ordeal.
(Mad: would it make it more sense to say, “Damn recycling is such an ordeal”
Please change if you think so….thank you, Lisi )
*****
Changed.
acrostic
B ack in Brooklyn, New York, a big deal
( A “nosh” that had such vast appeal)
G ave us joy when we chewed
E each one had to include
L ox and cream cheese. Now THAT’S a great meal
“Subtelties”
Even though you may be on the brink
Don’t argue; just make him a drink!
Mix it perfectly right
There is no need to fight
Hand it over and give him a wink
Our tryst we must never reveal
So I found us a place that’s ideal
At the dog park we’ll hug
Just right under my pug
And his barking will hide what we feel
Mad: above limerick : Could you change line 4 which reads: Right near the white pug to “Just right under my pug”
Thank you,Lisi
*****
Done
Immigration once made the US hearty,
But our law enforcement has since become tardy,
But that’s been ideal,
To California, for real,
Causing the death of their Republican Party.
When I listen to the political prattle,
With Democraps or Republisins I’ll battle,
Both unreal,
Here’s the deal,
I’d much rather listen to cattle.
For a third run at DC came a self-serving twit;
But it was only a Senate seat that was won by Mitt;
His Op-Ed was an ugly ordeal,
But his true colors he could not conceal,
He’s a sore-losing, small-minded, back-stabbing shit.
The current Limerick-Off ends tomorrow, Saturday, at 10 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.
Whenever the wife and I have a fight
She just always has to be right
Well now she’s got her way
There’s nothing more to say
I’m leaving the old hag tonight.
Medical Argument
Dr. Tushy and I had a clash
I just wouldn’t give him more cash!
Been coming for weeks
I’m still scratching my cheeks
He’s done nothing to help with this rash
She promised that she’d never roam
But we argued; I thought I would “foam”
She just wasn’t true
And this was my clue:
The parrot said, “Hurry! He’s home!”
R obert said Janie had such appeal
E very day she just made this guy feel:
E ndless love, but alas
K inda’ grasped she was crass
S ince bathing was such an ordeal
(acrostic)
Social media’s such an ordeal;
It compels me to tweet how I feel.
Now I can’t sit alone
Without holding my phone
And I won’t face a book that is real.
What started as one little spat,
Would double down way beyond that.
He’d asked her to not
Show his buddies she got
Two chances to play tit for tat.
Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Limerick-Off Award 316. Congratulations to the winners!
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Need.