Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GAME at the end of any one line
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GAME at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COWARDICE, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COWARDICE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 10, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 9, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Relaxation’s your aim? Play a game!
You say Sorry’s “too tame?” Scrabble’s “lame?”
Check out Uno, chess, gin.
Try for fun; not to win.
You flame out? Don’t go blaming this dame!
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Anxiety Humor, Board Games, Card Games, Competition Limerick, Game Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Relaxation Humor, Stress Humor, Stress Limerick, Writing Prompts
When the lady was up on her game,
She could put all the others to shame.
With the wink of an eye
She could get any guy,
And she’d make them all glad that they came.
You Might Be a Redneck…
The hunter went out with his daughter
He thought it was time that he taught her
So she said “Sure, I’m game!”
He then turned and took aim
With his gun, pulled the trigger, and shot her!
Make that “He then turned and took aim”, please.
****
Done.
In his knee-boots and frock—what’s his game?
Why the bright coloured wig that will frame
His well powdered cheeks
For the next four/five weeks?
It’s the month of the pantomime dame!
She was quite an exceptional dame,
Always right at the top of her game.
Many talents and skills
Helped her pay all her bills
And would bring her great fortune and fame.
On the wall it hung, stitched, in a frame
The fond motto of Scots to proclaim:
“East or West, Hame is Best”.
The American guest
Said “This Hame guy—just what is his game?”
A young woman, Lorena* by name,
Had a man with a really bad game;
In disgust, she one day
Cut his joystick away
(They repaired it, but never the same).
Tom Paxton with an appropriate song.
The discussion concerned aspartame.
Not if “toxic” or “harmless”—its name.
“A-spart-a-me” was mooted.
Oh, how we all hooted!
We call it that now, as a game.
There once was a young man named Spiro
Who served as a World War II hero.
Ah, but history describes,
As a pol, he took bribes,
Then wimped his way out. What a zero!
(Spiro Theodore Agnew, November 9, 1918 – September 17, 1996)
I just saw that actor. His name
I can’t quite recall but I’m game
To try to remember.
Might take til December
My memory’s just not the same.
“North Korea must go! It’s a shame,”
Said the Donald, “but Kim is to blame,
So I simply press ZAP
And it’s gone from the map!”
Donald loves his new video game.
I know I shouldn’t feel shame
And I’m not the one to blame
But when it comes to romance
I just can’t do that dance
It must be “All In The Game”
Donald Junior thinks it a shame
That although he can slaughter and maim,
He cannot import
Tusks and heads from his sport –
To him, it is all a big game.
Donald thinks he’s one hell of a fellow.
“Nothing scares me!” the braggart will bellow.
But as Mueller draws near,
Donald trembles with fear;
Both his hair and his belly are yellow.
The Republicans dare not say no
To the tax cuts, but something must go:
Medicare, Medicaid!
Otherwise, they’re afraid
That their payoffs will no longer flow.
He had answered Red Riding Hood’s call;
Scared by wolves, she was helpless and small.
“Don’t be frightened, my dear,
You’ll be safe now I’m here.”
But Roy Moore was the worst wolf of all.
When caught with a girl on the game
By his wife, his excuse was quite lame.
Though she found them in bed,
The ex-firefighter said:
“Don’t worry, she’s just an old flame.”
At the dentist, I’m really quite brave,
But each morning, I gibber and rave
At the blood and the pain,
Swearing “Never again!”
I’m a coward when having to shave.
Said the Donald, “Go back where you came
From! No Dreamers! Obama’s to blame!
But before we deport ya,
Some old-fashioned torture –
It’s harmless, this waterboard game.”
She decided to go on the game.
After all, there was no longer shame
In selling one’s body;
How could it be shoddy
When First Ladies did just the same?
Turning tricks in hotels was her game.
And with most johns the work was the same.
They’d agree on a price,
For his pleasures and vice,
Then she’d leave shortly after he came.
When Elvis got into the “game”
A sensation he surely became
But with drugs, and all that
He got puffy and fat
Now ain’t that a “Cryin’ Shame?
Romeo asked, “What’s in a name?”
A quote that will always remain
But my name was Schmuck
And I changed it to “Luck”
I just couldn’t play William’s game
Twins are one in the same
They’ll often have a “rhyming” name
But Annie was uncanny
And shot sister Fanny
She unquestionably had very good aim+
Twins are one in the same
They often have a rhyming name
But Annie was uncanny
And shot sister Fanny
She unquestionably had very good aim
How I miss, really miss my old flame.
Now she’s gone, and it’s really a shame.
Really thought she was hot.
But for me, she was not.
‘Cause to her it was only a game.
If you’re into the baby-name game
Give him one that will not cause shame
If you call him Giraffe
All the kids will laugh
And you’ll be the one to blame
I’m getting quite sick of this game,
What’s the point of it, I get no fame.
I’m trying my best,
Got this rage off my chest,
Guess I’ll try again now, just the same.
There once was a lovely, young dame,
For a sex tryst, she was always game.
She’d get an invite,
Much to her delight.
Was damned sure that she always came.
Repub bastards, this isn’t a game,
Your tax plan’s a disaster! For shame!
Huge tax cuts for the rich.
Just a con, bait- and- switch.
Look what the Party of Lincoln became!
Making war is a dangerous game.
Its intent is to kill and to maim.
Something we must avoid
Or we’ll all be destroyed.
And there’ll be no one left we can blame.
14 YEARS OLD 1961
I think Jonathan was his name
He was so aroused and he came
I thought it was “Ivory Liquid”
And he was afflicted
With the dreaded “Detergent Flame”
“A blowjob’s a zero-sum game”
Was a street-savvy pro’s telling claim.
“You spill it; I quaff it.
You pay and I profit,”
She gushed ere she went and he came.
That good-looking guy- Yup, I’m game.
To not even try’d be a shame.
It was lust at first glance,
He didn’t have a chance.
I saw him, I conquered, I came.
OOPS
14 years old 1961
I thought Jonathan was playing a game
He was so aroused and then he came
I thought: IVORY LIQUID ?
Oh no he’s afflicted
with the dreaded frightning ” Detergent Flame”
A streaker disrupted the game
With antics the cops couldn’t tame.
Deceptively fast,
His yardage bare-assed
Surpassed what the home team could claim.
True story – just ask the Buffalo Bills.
A blow-by-blow saga of shame
Features Sookie whose hummers are lame.
But they’re still compensating
Her sucky fellating
Which keeps her ahead of the game.
Madeline – please correct my misspelled word “fellating”.
*****
Done.
Abreakaway Limerick format
There once was a dame at the top of her game
Not a willy bit tame or inclined towards shame
Fit as a fiddle
Lived with a riddle
Cause, the man with no name she fancied, was lame.
cowardice
or
Don’t dice with the cow
Don’t dip your whole cow in cold ice
To kill all the midges and lice
Cause frozen shut tits
Milk giving is pits
And yogurt won’t be very nice
(Don’t try this at home!)
ANNIE AND FANNY
Twins are sometimes similar in name
They even like to play the same game
But Annie was uncanny
And shot her sister Fanny
Claiming it was “in honor of her name”
She wanted to achieve fortune and fame
So she thought she’d play a “popular” game
Find a famous politician
Who has great ambition
And one whom you can easily frame
RUBE TAKES JIM TO HIS PROCEDURE (COWARDICE)
He needs to look up my ass
God forbid there might be a mass
Then I looked at that tube
And said to Rube,
“Your turn, I’ll take a pass”
I WAS JUST 14 !!!
My boyfriend’s name was Howard
And he was the ultimate coward
I wanted to try “it”
But he wouldn’t buy it
I just wanted to be de-flowerd
I had a fearful doubt
This root canal? (what was it about?)
When I got there
I said a prayer
And then got the hell out
(COWARDICE)
Her boyfriend just wasn’t the same;
Excuses – increasingly lame.
Then later she found
He was playing around;
Maintaining his skin in the game.
JOHN IS A COWARD !
I wanted to marry Flo
But I was afraid she’d say “no”
So I asked my friend Dee
If she would do it for me
She said, “Are you crazy? She’s a Ho
There’s a season of getting to tame.
Is that fam’ly the Jones’ to blame?
Did the need to succeed
Bring material greed–
Is consumption a winnerless game?
(With a nod to Bud Light)
The contest – delightfully silly:
Where Corgis all race willy-nilly.
Unable to name
A more humorous game;
To that, we reply “Dilly Dilly!”
A young lad was up on his game,
Never mild, or meek, or tame.
“This guy is a joke,
Not at all a nice bloke.
He’s the pumpkin that put us to shame.”
Bingo was our favorite game
At the Senior Center on ‘Ole Des Plain
The numbers were mixed
But some said it was “fixed”
Now we’ve lost our chance at fortune and fame
He was 8 when he first learned the game,
A prodigy headed for fame.
Magnus rose to grand master
(just two’ve done it faster)
The Reigning World Champ is his claim.
Magnus Carlsen is a Norwegian Chess Grandmaster and the #1 World Chess Champion. An exceptional chess prodigy, he became a chess grandmaster in 2004, at the age of 13 years, 148 days, making him the third youngest grandmaster in history. He is the highest rated player in the world and in the history of chess, with a peak rating of 2881.
AGE 7 1953
My friend Jimmy Mc Clame
Said “Doctor” is this brand new game !
“Just take off your clothes,
And I’ll look up your nose”
(I don’t think he had very good aim)
ADVICE FOR COWARDS
If you’re a coward, you have great fear
So here’s advice for you, my Dear:
Pretend you’re strong
Even though it’s wrong
Have I made that perfectly clear?
Limericks can be quite a game
With insight and humor quite lame
Cutting comments to hone
Allowed to pith and moan
Wordplay with three rhymes the same
I was up for hot love. She was game.
All night long we both burned with that flame.
Would I like more? You bet!
But I didn’t quite get
Her number. Or even her name.
Playing bridge is a thing I excel
At when playing with partners like Mel.
When we finished the game,
We both got much acclaim.
Then my partner and I bid farewell.
I don’t want to mention his name;
He loves to insult and enflame.
Self-praising the thirst;
Forever “Me first”.
He’ll tell you – Big Baller’s got game.
(Stumped? Ask a basketball fan.)
Life can be a dangerous game
If you do things that cause you shame
So live it up
Drink from the silver cup
And let someone else take the blame
Tis the coward who crows in a crowd
And claims ignorance, angry and loud.
With a belly of yellow,
He’s a fear driven fellow;
In the face of the truth he is cowed.
Was the Cowardly Lion a type
Or a lazy old cat with a gripe?
He lacked gumption not guts
With his what ifs and buts;
And his wish to be king was all hype.
Kitten acts like he’s hunting big game —
Looks around and then takes careful aim
And crouches and hisses
And pounces — and misses
The toy — but he’s cute, all the same.
TOO COWARDLY TO CONFRONT HUSBAND
I wanted a divorce from John
And I needed to quickly “move on”
So I found a trick
That worked real quick
I clicked “X” and he was gone
When you run into your old flame
You’ll remember his erotic game
So what ever went wrong
Don’t string along
Just tell him you were to blame
Cowardice is not befitting
And no one thinks you’re kidding
So find a schmuck
And with any luck
Let him do your bidding
If you’re playing the “baby name game”
Don’t choose one that will cause any shame
Do not name him DICK
It’s an unsuitable pick
The kids will make fun and you’ll be to blame
He’s playing a cowardly game.
Intimidate – passing the blame
For all that goes south;
His despicable mouth
Deployed as a weapon of shame.
That cannot continue, we say.
Regardless, there must be a way
To get rid of this jerk;
While Congress may shirk,
Bob Mueller just might save the day.
A rose is a rose, that’s its name.
Are a roos and a rosa the same?
As their scent fills the air,
No bloom can compare;
But the lily and jasmine have game.
They stayed rather late in the park;
“I’m scared.” was her frightened remark.
He said “We’ll get back;
See? …I do have a knack
For finding my way in the dark.”
Really? Man of the Year? That’s so lame!
We are onto his lies and his game.
If he showed some remorse
And resigned, then of course
Let that ass of a horse claim his fame!
I was watching young people play Twister
With some body parts grabbed by some mister
But the twist in the game
Unexpectedly came
When his gonads were squeezed by his sister.
Chess is a boring old game
The strategic requirements inflame
My brain cells to bits
And my bum gets the shits
I should just call it quits, just the same!
The Donald’s too scared to admit
His ideas are loaded with shit
He’s more terrified, though,
If his fan base would go
Down in numbers so low till he’d quit!
Go ahead! Call me “coward” or “mouse”
It just shows you’re a pitiless louse.
I see shadows, a rat,
Hear doors slam, voices chat.
I will not sleep in THAT haunted house!
I hear, “Buck buck buck buck buck bGAWK!”
Sounds like chickens instead of a hawk
In the courtroom, the trial,
Heard clucks down the aisle
Their words of denial, they squawk!
That old Mueller ain’t done with them yet
And they’re all sweatin’ bullets, I bet!
The cowards’ endeavor
Is jailtime forever
A moment I’ll never forget!
When the parents saw “that”, they did blame
Baby’s surgeon, who should’ve felt shame.
The newborn’s trimmed willie
Appears rather silly
As he has no foreskin in the game
NOSTALGIA: OCTOBER 8, 1956
An athlete achieved great acclaim
For pitching a “no hit” game
No one got to first
Fans thought they would just BURST !
And of course, Don Larson was his name
Alternate version – I changed first 2 lines:
When she saw “it”, she thought, “what a shame!”
‘Cause it looked like the doctor did maim,
The young man’s trimmed Willie
Appears rather silly,
As he has no foreskin in the game.
NOT A DUPLICATE NOSTALGIA 1956
He achieved international fame
By pitching a “no hit” game
No one got to first
The fans thought they’d burst !
And DON LARSON was his name
Alternate version II:
Under covers, the man’s feeling shame;
And he has his ancestors to blame!
Why do Jews need a Mohel
For my manhood to spoil?
My betrothed wants more skin in the game.
I think this is the one I’ll go with!!
The “Brits” are all the same
When it comes to meeting a dame
They jump on your bones
With pleasurable moans and groans
And claim it’s just a “Parlour Game”
My dermatologist Dr. Haim
Caused me much embarrassing shame
He fondled my boobs
Then examined my pubes
And claimed it was an important “skin game”
Mad Please change Cause to Caused in previous limerick
Thank you
(Boomer Limbo party)
We’re playing a musical game;
Its theme song had Top 40 fame.
Just master the trick –
Sliding under our stick;
Ibuprofen’s a prize you can claim.
COWARDICE
I went on my annual safari
With my best buddy Omari
He was chewed in half
By an angry giraffe
Who refused to say, “I’m sorry”
SHIRLEY ELLIS’S STUPID SONG
Do you remember “THE NAME GAME”?
It was exceedingly stupid and lame
SHIRLEY ELLIS’S STUPID SONG
Do you remember “The Name Game?”
It was exceedingly stupid and lame
It went “Shirley bo-ber-ley
And Lincoln-bo-bin-kin””
Oy !! It brought her FORTUNE AND FAME!!!!!!
“Shirley Shirley, Bo-ber -ley
Lincoln Lincoln , bo-bin-kin”
Oy this gave her fortune and fame !
MAD MY COMPUTER WENT CRAZY……PLEASE IGNORE THE 3 FIRST LINES OF PREVIOUS LIMERICK THANK YOU !!!!! AND ALSO DISREGARD THE 3 LAST LINES OF PREVIOUS LIMERICK !!!!!I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED
BUT YOU, OF COURSE WILL FIGURE IT OUT
He’s not even watching the game;
His losing team isn’t to blame.
Increasingly awed
By the cheerleader squad;
Apparently, that’s why he came.
Dorothy kept on tryin’
She even started cryin’
She searched everywhere
Felt it just wasn’t fair
Where on Earth is my pal the Lion?
For Trump, this is all just a game,
As he chases his fortunes and fame,
While screwing the rest
And doing his best
To hold himself harmless from blame.
Enjoying his annual game
Down the chimney he came
But Santa got stuck
He was out of luck
And said ” Sara Lee is to blame”
First she calls him a name
Now it’s his turn to cause her shame
I think she is winning
But the dial keeps on spinning
I guess marriage is just a game
When you’re playing the “waiting game”
The results will always be lame
So get out there and ROCK !
Give ’em a SHOCK!
Show that you’re one sexy dame !
With college deferments, he’d stay
A civilian; well out of harm’s way.
And as they expired,
He somehow acquired
“Bone spurs” his fake doctor would say.
A sportsman with miserable aim
Hunted roadkill in place of real game.
When he bagged a flat skunk,
His wife growled in her funk
“That’s gamy, which isn’t the same.”
It’s cowardice, and it’s a shame,
The Republicans’ trickle-down game.
But it’s not hard to miss
That the “gold” is their piss,
While they claim that Obama’s to blame.
They Drone, We Groan
Pols jab, feint, dodge charges each day
As they play: naught of substance to say.
When they blame (fill in name),
That’s spin, part of the game:
It’s just government – for which we pay.
I am feeling a great deal of shame
I forgot what it’s called, this old game
From my childhood, this gem,
But before you condemn
Me, I now recall – MEMORY’s the name!
Their long-term relationship soured
He screwed up, won’t admit it, that coward!
As she tried hard in pleasin’,
With him, you can’t reason
Some brain cells were freezin’, devoured!
(Oh look! It’s an acrostic! You’re not going to believe this, but it was totally an unintended fluke, but the first word in the last line was “His”, so I then changed it to “Some” so it would make sense… maybe as a sign of hope for those brain cells!)
He was bigger; she’d been overpowered
As he beat her, that ill-tempered coward
Shot by her brother Steven
There’s no one who’s grievin’
His coffin ain’t even been flowered.
A woman who always seemed game
Developed spots with a long Latin name.
She got infected
After sex unprotected;
But was at a loss to know who was to blame.
Mary Lou felt her passions enflame
Playing handball with men without shame.
Saying, “Can we be besties?”
She’d fondle their testes.
“Isn’t handball the name of this game?”
It’s hard to play the “dating game’
When you’re eighty two and somewhat lame
Alas ! I met a man
Who’s sexy and tan
But I can’t seem to remember his name
Irving wanted to change his name
So he would be “cool” in the social game
He changed it to Seaman
And the ladies were screamin’
They were so happy every time he came
TEMPORARY COWARDICE
When I was young, I was afraid of shots
I told Mama, “They hurts me a lots”
But then I got older
And became much bolder
Because my doctor gave me the hots
Gaylord wanted to change his name
So he would be “cool” in the social game
He change it to Seaman
The ladies were beamin’
And so happy each time he came
MARCH, 1993 LORENA BOBBIT
He abused her while they were wed
She wanted to strike him, instead
She found a knife
(This revengeful wife)
And cut off his penis in bed
THE STRANGE CASE OF LORENA BOBBIT 1993
He abused her while they were wed
She wanted to strike him, instead
She found a knife
This revengeful wife
And cut off his dick in bed
SING ALONG WIH SHIRLEY ELLIS !!!!!
Remember the song, the “Name Game?”
It was really stupid and lame
“Bonnie, Bonnie, Bo Beenie
Donna, Donna, Do Deenie”
And THIS? brought her fortune and fame?
The pro golfer’s game hit a big snag
And his shots landed far from the flag.
Said his caddy’s to blame
For advice on his game,
So the caddy’s left holding the bag.
Composing a limerick is fright-ning
I can feel my ab-do-men tight-ning
Finding a name
Rhyming with GAME
Then it comes like a flash of light-ning
In this case, a foot is the game,
With William S. taking the blame
For this wretched reverse.
Watch out: I can do worse!
But to credit Sir Doyle would be lame.
Lew D.
Female body parts all are the same
To him; sex is a goal and a game.
Nightly upping his score,
Reeling in, getting more
“Girls” to pin to his Wall of Defame.
Patients who come to Dr. Haim
Are sometimes very sadly lame
His nurse says to wait
“He’ll be a little late,
Because right now he’s playing a computer game”
My phobia, I’ve had for years
They say you must confront your fears
But try as I might
I have to take flight
Each time incy wincy appears
On our TV screens he soon became
A hugely admired household name
He’s with us no more
But up there I’m sure
Brucie’s still crying ‘Good game, good game!’
COWARDICE AND GAME
Step up to that dame
Do not feel shame
Ask her for a date
It will be just great
It’s called the “confidence game”
The first date is just so lame
And neither of you is to is to blame!
You get a kiss on the cheek
Which is kind of meek
After that it’s an “all star game”
Try to confront who
Continuously mock you
You’re as good as the rest
Maybe even the best
Case closed– Good Bye–We’re Through !!
The world is a scary place
If you’re cowardly, get into the race!
It won’t be that bad
You might even be glad
By the wonderment of God’s good grace
Call it bravery, gumption or guts;
You’ll find none among GOP sluts.
While they sell out the poor,
Corporations get more.
They’re all cowards. No ifs, ands or buts.
Just wanted a quiet online game
Of Patience or something the same
But it’s SPAM I am told
Cuz Lo and behold
Those “boobs” left me dying of shame.
THIS WEEK’S NEWS
Jane yearned for fortune and fame
So she thought of a news- worthy “game”
Find a politician
With lewd ambition
And one whom you can easily FRAME
MORE NEWS OF THE WEEK
Al Franken was on SNL
People say he did very well
But as a politician
He’s gained poor recognition
Now he’s going straight to hell
OOPS !!!!
Al Franken played a dangerous game
Which caused him embarrassing shame
He was on SNL
Now he’s going to hell
It seems he isn’t quite tame
MAD Please change “he brought himself” to “WHICH CAUSED HIM”
IN PREVIOUS LIMERICK THANK YOU
***
Done.
“The Art of the Deal” is to blame
“Truthful hyperbole” our national shame
When one can’t call a ripe fish
A “You’re full of tripe” dish
Cowardice stinks up the game
The hunter they wanted to shame,
Because of his famous last name.
A monkey with sass
Knocked him down on his ass;
No way was he up for the game.
If you tell a “white lie”, it’s not such a crime
Don’t be a coward; go for the sublime
Say you’ve been fondled
By the infamous Donald
Then you can be on the cover of “Time”
SYLLABLE CHANGE
Al Franken played a dangerous
Which caused him much embarrassing shame
He was on SNL
Now he’s going to hell
It seems the man is not very tame
She caught Hubby in bed with some dame.
Didn’t fume, but instead, played a game.
Got her gun and she said,
“Now hold still.” but he fled,
Then got shot in the head; what a shame!
…Not the head that’s attached to the neck
Though he’s fifty cards short of a deck
Which means he cannot claim
To play any card game
Like strip poker; his pecker’s a wreck!
Strip poker’s a hell of a game
If you play, you might end up in shame.
If you lose, and lose big
With no leaf of a fig
To hide ‘thingamajig’, change your name!
The king of the cowards, as we know
Is Captain Francisco Schettino
Sank the Costa Concordia.
If you were on board, yeah,
He prob’ly ignored ya, that nino!
To not be a coward is easy
If you’re Superman, Batman, it’s breezy!
But if fighting a man
With a gun or a van,
Then some bravery can make you queasy.
So just stay now the hell out of trouble
Be safe and locked up in your bubble
But if crim’nals decide
To give chase and collide
With you, hide somewhere else on the double!
This is a limerick puzzle (or is it a puzzle limerick?), where you have to find the ‘hidden’ names of what are mostly board games (some use dice/di or cards). There are 13 in total.
You know, being a spy and a dame
Is a scary and dangerous game
If I fail in my mission,
I soon will be fishin’
For a graveyard position (oh shame!)
I am sorry, that boat ain’t a yahtzee
I risk boarding that battleship Nazi
Though it seems so taboo
I just hadn’t a clue
What the dirty minds knew of a plot, see?
My plan was no trivial pursuit
I must scrabble for facts and then scoot
“Operation Titanium”
Don’t boggle my cranium
I found the uranium! Let’s shoot!
ADVICE FOR HUSBANDS
When you’re a coward, you’re afraid to say:
“Every thing we do is always YOUR way!”
Now it’s my turn
So she’ll finally learn:
I’ll do what I want (but only today)
Daddy had a poker game
And he would never fail to proclaim:
“No one may smoke,
Or tell a dirty joke”
Boy! That was one boring shame
REHEARSAL
She didn’t have to go far
To see a coward: a famous star
His costume came off
When he started to cough
He said, “How do you do? I’m Bert Lahr”
My limerick is unquestionably lame
Ain’t it a cryin’ shame ?
I try every week
To be unique
But I never seem to win this game
Don’t be a coward, have fun !
You’ll be so glad when you’re done
Speak your mind
You’re one of a kind
Say you like Trump, then run
I’m never a violent man
I avoid it whenever I can
For I am a Persian
With quite an aversion
And when I’ve been threatened? Iran!
Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Limerick-Off Award 287.
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Boot..