Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RAID or PARADE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “RAID” or “PARADE” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A woman at work as a maid
Was wielding a large can of Raid,
Cuz parades of small ants
Alas would enhance
Her chances of NOT being paid.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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72 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RAID or PARADE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Kirk Miller says:

    The man was a burglar by trade
    With a temper so short that it made
    Haberdasheries lose
    When their clerks blew his fuse,
    Because then he would have a tie raid. (tirade)

  2. Frank Moraes says:

    All my neighbors get some form of aid
    So the cops think we’re targets to raid
    When we stand and complain
    They quite sternly explain
    That harassing the poor’s why they’re paid.

  3. Brian Allgar says:

    The hooker was out on parade,
    And the Sunday School party had strayed.
    “Now, boys”, said their teacher,
    “Avoid such a creature”,
    But some of his charges were laid.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    The Apaches had mounted a raid
    On the Trading Post; folk were afraid.
    But the Chief, with a wink,
    Said “Our Mac’s on the blink,
    And we just need a software upgrade.”

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    She was lying quite nude in the shade
    When the soldiers marched by on parade.
    One came to attention …
    I’d better not mention
    The weapon he proudly displayed.

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    Her clothing was all disarrayed,
    And she gasped as his roving hands strayed.
    “Please don’t panic”, he stressed,
    As he massaged each breast,
    “It’s important to practise First Aid.”

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    The President ordered a raid
    On the Muslims, but sent the brigade
    To attack Hindu Kush.
    “Them religions!” said Bush;
    “Ah cain’t tell ’em apart, Ah’m afraid.”

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    The vice squad decided to raid
    A night-club where women were paid
    To have sex. What they found
    As they searched all around
    Was the Chief of Police getting laid.

  9. Dave Johnson says:

    The festival queen had betrayed;
    Caught up in a contraband raid.

    The mayor said “It’s vital
    You vacate your title;

    “Don’t reign on our biggest parade.”

  10. Dave Johnson says:

    An ambitious young escort named Jade
    Thought she knew all the tricks of the trade.

    She threw a big bash
    Where they brought lots of cash,

    But it all ended up in a raid.

  11. Dave Johnson says:

    Donald Trump threw another tirade
    Just to look at the headlines he made.

    Nobody should care;
    He’d blow all the hot air

    For balloons in a Macy’s parade.

  12. @Brian — here’s a possible sequel to your “Apache”…

    Our servers are down, I’m afraid —
    By promiscuous downloads betrayed.
    We all knew the risks
    Of hot-swappable disks,
    So we should have expected a RAID.

    (RAID = “redundant array of inexpensive disks”)

  13. scott says:

    the marching band’s bus was delayed
    so now they will have to evade
    the horse apple pies
    and that’s why it’s wise
    to always try and lead the parade

  14. Marty McCullen says:

    Please don’t rain on my great parade,
    Or I’ll have to buy one big spade.
    I’ll need some more tools,
    And no more dumb fools,
    Cause I want to make some lemonade.

  15. Dave Johnson says:

    They’re down in the county of Dade;
    To Haulover Beach they have strayed.

    Clothing-optional’s where
    They’ll wander and stare

    At the boobies and butts on parade.

  16. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Please, Mr. Bug Guy

    We strongly reject your d*mned Raid,
    Though the ants here are now on parade:
    Use earth – diatomaceous,
    Older “cures” are fallacious.
    Soon our ants, exiting, will seek shade :)

  17. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Were Those The Days?

    Long-grown college girls, seeming so staid,
    Squealed their way through each “bad!” panty raid
    And the cool autumn nights
    Saw the shedding of tights;
    Nine months later, all knew “Gus” had “stayed”…

  18. Judith H. Block says:

    Indeed I was greatly dismayed
    Gridlock made all movements delayed
    Stuck in midtown for hours
    NYC fun sours
    Traffic rained on my good time parade.

  19. Judith H. Block says:

    The night of the guys’ panty raid,
    Please don’t tell a soul how she strayed
    Her scruples not shielded.
    To coaxing she yielded
    Temptation had won, she got laid!

  20. Marcus Bales says:

    When she hides at the end of Charade
    In the prompter’s box Audrey has made
    A choice she can’t alter
    As dastardly Walter
    Approaches, and Cary’s delayed.

    A sad little serenade
    Plays as her hopes all fade —
    But then in a shocking
    Display of bad blocking
    He falls for the trap Hitchcock laid.

  21. Marcus Bales says:

    She strayed at the big masquerade;
    No longer a virgin, she prayed
    That whoever he was
    Wouldn’t matter because
    It would turn out that she’d been mislaid.

  22. Judith H. Block says:

    It was at the Easter Parade
    She showed off the bonnet she made.
    A live bird hat coop
    That sprayed her with poop.
    Her cleverness just might have strayed.

  23. Dave Johnson says:

    A bagpiper – Angus Kincaid
    Had his moment at this year’s parade.

    He was over a vent,
    Way up his kilt went;

    Three ladies then rushed to his aid.

  24. Jon Gearhart says:

    “In my twenties, I played the gay blade
    As the star of the Rainbow Parade,
    But now I can’t deny
    I’m a hetero guy–
    Ever since then my tool’s been Miss laid!”

    So, am I outing or ining myself??

  25. Lisi Nortman says:

    Oh, how I was dismayed
    With my bug- eyed date named Wade

    I tried shampoo
    But that wouldn’t do

    So I sprayed the guy with Raid

  26. Lisi Nortman says:

    When we arrived at the town’s parade
    My son was profusely sprayed

    With someone’s drink
    And boy, did he stink

    We should have watched it on “Direct pre-paid”

  27. Lisi Nortman says:

    Oh how I felt dismayed
    At the Thanksgiving Day Parade

    My boyfriend ran away
    With Miss Piggy that day

    And I’ve never felt more betrayed

  28. Lisi Nortman says:

    My daughter’s far-out braid
    is unkempt and disarrayed

    She ties it so tight
    That it looks like a fright

    Wig at a freak show parade

  29. Marcus Bales says:

    Through his door there’s a constant parade
    of co-eds who hope to persuade
    the government prof
    that if they get him off
    it’s not a restraint of free trade.

  30. Lisi Nortman says:

    At the Senior Citizens Parade
    All of the marchers have grayed

    Except for Bee
    Who denies that she

    Uses Miss Clairol in a bright violet shade

  31. Dave Johnson says:

    They met at the Fremont Parade
    In Seattle, about to invade

    The proceedings on bikes;
    They’re all naked – yikes!

    But body paint’s there for the staid.

  32. Lisi Nortman says:

    At the Multiple Birth Parade
    My hubbie and I were dismayed

    By noticing that ours
    Were the lion’s share of the stars

    So he suggested it’s time to get spayed

  33. Lisi Nortman says:

    Have you heard of the “Brisket Brigade?”
    Their plans are carefully made

    They come to the “shiva”
    And then they deliva

    Casseroles in the grieving parade

  34. Lisi Nortman says:

    My hair was crawling with “bugs on parade”
    I freaked out; I was so afraid

    I tried shampoo
    But that wouldn’t do

    So I sprayed my head with a can of Raid

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    not a duplicate

    Have you heard of the “Brisket Brigade?”
    Their agenda is always carefully made

    They come to the “shiva”
    So they can “deliva”

    Casseroles in the grieving parade

  36. Lisi Nortman says:

    At the annual “Multiple Birth Parade”
    My hubbie and I were extremely dismayed

    When we noticed that ours
    Were the majority of stars

    He told me that now it’s time to get spayed

  37. Tim James says:

    The moll’s tiny gun was mislaid.
    When asked where, ’twas the dumb blonde she played.
    What was lost is now found;
    The cops ran it to ground
    By having her pelvis X-rayed.

  38. Lisi Nortman says:

    At the annual “Senior Citizens Parade”
    All the the marchers have gradually grayed

    Except for Bee
    Who denies that she

    Uses Miss Clairol in a bright violet shade

  39. Lisi Nortman says:

    better meter

    When we arrived at the town’s parade
    My son was rudely and profusely sprayed

    With someone’s drink
    And boy, did he stink

    We should have watched it on “Direct pre-paid”

  40. Lisi Nortman says:

    When I had a blind date with bug-eyed Wade
    I was mortified and completely dismayed

    I stepped on his face
    What a disgrace!

    Then I sprayed his eyes with a can of Raid

  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    At our party there was a raid
    I was mortified and utterly afraid

    The cops grabbed my arm
    Intending to harm

    WE FOUND HER! the lady: “Miss Laid”

  42. Lisi Nortman says:

    At the St. Paddy’s Day Parade
    I noticed my husband had strayed

    He found a lass
    With a magnificent ass

    She was quite the flirtatious jade

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    Oh, how I was dismayed
    At my bug-eyed date named Wade

    I stepped on his face
    What a disgrace!

    Then I sprayed his head with Raid

  44. Dave Johnson says:

    The out-of-town governor stayed
    At a D.C. hotel where he paid

    For an escort he thought
    Might be fun, but who brought

    The vice squad conducting a raid.

  45. Fred Bortz says:

    “Our Mother’s Day special parade
    Will be cancelled,” he said. “I’m afraid.
    But our scheduling guy
    Was a little bit high,
    And his calendar left us dis-Mayed.”

  46. Fred Bortz says:

    Every year at the Gay Pride Parade
    The trans folk can march unafraid.
    New girls show off their breasts
    And the boys their flat chests
    And they cheer, “We’re dis-guys-ed and dis-maid.”

  47. Lisi Nortman says:

    When we arrived at the town’s parade
    My son was rudely and crudely sprayed

    With someone’s drink
    And boy did he stink

    We should have watched it on “Direct pre-paid”

  48. Lisi Nortman says:

    At the Senior Citizens Parade
    All the marchers have gradually grayed

    Except for Bee
    Who denies that she

    Uses Miss Clairol in a bright violet shade

  49. Lisi Nortman says:

    Have you heard of the “Brisket Brigade?”
    Their agenda is carefully made

    They arrive at the “shiva”
    So they can “deliva”

    Casseroles in the grieving parade

  50. Jon Gearhart says:

    I met Macy when just a young blade
    Starting out in the caregiver trade.
    I’ve met no patient funner.
    Us male aides who’ve done ‘er
    Love Macy’s Thanksgiving per aide!

  51. The limericists go on parade
    to cherry blossoms for a raid
    against haiku purists
    who treat nature like tourists
    and who need to laugh or get laid.

  52. A girl was selling lemonade
    a the stand her daddy had made.
    When bugs went on attack
    she did overreact!
    Now her stuff has the slight taste of RAID.

  53. Lisi Nortman says:

    Relatives visited to see our parade
    We made up their bedroom in a lovely shade

    They used our drier
    And started a fire

    I’d say their welcome was overstayed

  54. The start of s scandal was made
    when found that the Pats had foul played.
    NFL observed
    that justice be served
    post New England’s victory parade.

  55. Lisi Nortman says:

    We met each other at the Gala Parade
    I told her how I “wanted it played”

    She doused herself in Comet
    I started to vomit

    “Here I am, your “chambermaid!”

  56. Lisi Nortman says:

    We met at the Gala Parade
    I told her how I “wanted it played”

    She was doused in Comet
    I started to vomit

    “Here I am: your chambermaid!”

  57. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’m off to the Pageant Parade
    Destination: Palisade

    I’m here at O’hare
    Slept 4 days on a chair

    I think my flight’s been delayed

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Kelly’s Bar and Grill”

    At Kelly’s there was a raid
    I was insulted the cops would invade

    But they came for some fun
    So I didn’t run

    I’m proud to be in the pleasure trade

  59. Lisi Nortman says:

    Read your ‘Oy Vey Iz Mer” limerick. Looked up some words (I don’t know Yiddish) and tried to come up with something

    At the Israeli Day Parade
    The balebosete boasted she made:

    Gifelte fish
    Oy, what a dish!

    Then the klutz dropped it in his Kool Aid

  60. Lisi Nortman says:

    My gardener took me to the parade
    But there seemed to be a blockade

    “No one else allowed!
    There’s too big a crowd!”

    So we went home and took it out in trade

  61. Tim James says:

    Two businessmen plying their trade
    Got caught up in an IRS raid.
    Seems these ten-year-old crooks
    Hadn’t kept proper books:
    They were bootlegging pure lemonade.

  62. P Diane Schneider says:

    We all know it’s just a charade
    Though children are sometimes afraid
    When horses are prancing
    And silly clowns dancing
    But oh how I love a parade!

  63. Allen Wilcox says:

    A strangely ambitious young maid
    Sought employment to try to get laid.
    She published an ad,
    And found that she had
    Provoked an impressive parade.

  64. Allen Wilcox says:

    Her diet he questioned, “Huh, raid
    The fridge once again? You parade
    Through the kitchen my dear.
    As your husband, it’s clear
    That your diet’s a spousal charade.”

  65. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Pantyng For More

    Bright, lacy “ooo!” panties arrayed
    On her dresser: decision was made
    To change twice every hour,
    Display sexy power ~
    Her lover enjoyed the parade.

  66. BAD DATE

    “Sigh. I’ll bet he wants nookie in trade
    For the horrible meal that he made…
    I’ll lay odds ten to one
    That he’ll grin when he’s done
    Like he wants me to throw a parade!”

  67. Lisi Nortman says:

    At the Obsessive-Compulsive Parade
    No one would dare be delayed

    They marched in perfect measure
    It certainly was a pleasure

    To witness such a regimented brigade

  68. Lisi Nortman says:

    I am sorry I did not finish the last limerick…..It goes like this:

    At the Obsessive-Compulsive Parade
    No one would dare be delayed

    They marched in perfect measure
    It certainly was a pleasure

    To witness such a regimented brigade.

    When the parade ended
    We were all feeling splendid

    But the same group of men
    were marching again

    This is not what was originally intended!

    W

  69. Lisi Nortman says:

    At the Procrastinators Parade
    Every one was delayed

    The spectators were there
    But the procession was hide not hair

    So we went to cool off in the shade

  70. Allen Wilcox says:

    Her favors were amply arrayed,
    Though a whore and in jail she had stayed.
    Applying for mod’ling,
    She wouldn’t need coddling,
    But her pros and her cons must be weighed.

  71. Reagan Ovation says:

    oh my God it’s a doj raid
    or loretta lynch’s charade?
    the blacks burn their city
    it doesn’t look pretty
    now the feds have to come to their aid?

  72. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 212.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Rhyme MAIL or MALE.