Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CLIPS or ECLIPSE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “CLIPS” or “ECLIPSE” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

While an actress was showing her clips
Which featured her just enlarged lips,
She sipped from a cup
And her lips, all puffed up,
Caused the liquid to drip on her hips.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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96 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CLIPS or ECLIPSE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Horsing Around

    Through the parkway, he clops and ‘e clips,
    Proud to be in the Midnight Eclipse.
    With tossed head, sideways prance,
    “Winning? I’ve not a chance,
    But I’ll gladly accept any tips!”

  2. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A Suitor’s Offer is Summarily Refused

    Ma chérie! Your beauty, those hips –
    Others would find it hard to eclipse
    Their dimensions: so vast,
    They could not be surpassed!
    (Brings to mind puffy sails on large ships.)

  3. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Who Will She Choose Tonight?

    On display at the Midnight Eclipse:
    Silk and leather goods, chains and thin whips…
    Lisa sashays and skips
    To the clink of her tips;
    More than one’s gaze is fixed on her hips.

  4. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Jail Bait? Just Wait

    Her hips, lips, and ponytail clips
    Cause my heart to do multiple skips 8^9
    She said she was eighteen;
    Need to use the ol’ bean…
    Give her up? Nah! (Too far into tips.)

  5. Bob Leggett says:

    Remember when ordering chips
    Or enjoy a few extra sips
    A moment on the lips
    Is a lifetime on the hips
    And a figure to cause an eclipse

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    The hooker was glued to my lips
    And was wildly gyrating her hips,
    Then she got me in line
    Where the sun doesn’t shine,
    And it felt like a total eclipse.

    (… slaps himself on wrist for lewdness)

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    The plumber used solder and clips,
    And wrenches and pliers and grips.
    He made quite a racket,
    And charged me a packet,
    But STILL that confounded tap drips.

  8. Jon Gearhart says:

    When one of your frat brothers strips
    And runs naked through campus, his trip’s
    Could be YouTube’s next boon
    With a hook for this goon
    Of: “Come watch last night’s lunar e-clips!”

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    I have kept all the cutting-room clips,
    The ones where the heroine strips.
    In the final release,
    There is no golden fleece –
    But at home, I’m still smacking my lips.

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    The gambler has run out of chips,
    And his bill-folds are just empty clips.
    “Can I wager with sex?
    My wife’s stacked as your decks,
    And you’re welcome to poker”, he quips.

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    He thought he had sensed an eclipse
    When his gal wouldn’t kiss on the lips.
    He wanted her back,
    She was great in the sack;
    He loved the way she moved her hips.

  12. Judith H. Block says:

    A guy’s health began to eclipse,
    But still he would not come to grips.
    Of fat foods beware,
    But he didn’t care.
    He’d still rather eat fish and chips!

  13. Judith H. Block says:

    It’s she with the come hither lips..
    And sensual moves of her hips.
    A strong siren call
    Guys can’t help but fall.
    All other gals, she does eclipse.

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    A clash over potato chips-
    Instead of a “thank you”, she flips!
    Acrylamide-
    The danger inside!
    But she didn’t want my wise tips.

  15. scott says:

    she slowly removes her hair clips
    sensuously gyrates and strips
    yet causes him worry
    if she doesn’t hurry
    he’ll finish before he unzips

  16. Judith H. Block says:

    It’s she with the come hither lips..
    And sensuous moves of her hips.
    A strong siren call
    The guy can’t help but fall.
    All other gals, she will eclipse.

  17. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    Susana wore ripped bright pink slips
    on lush big hips, showing nips
    when gents offered tea
    she laughed tee hee hee
    on trips quickly dwindling their ‘sipps’

    sipps are pensions.

  18. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    Susana wore ripped bright pink slips
    on lush gorgeous hips, showing nips
    when gents offered tea
    she laughed “tee hee hee”
    “I take’ sipps’ for total eclipse

    sipps are pensions.

  19. Mike took me to see an eclipse,
    And some guy stole his chips.
    He punched him in the face;
    What a disgrace!
    Now he has Mick Jagger lips.

  20. I went to see a famous eclipse.
    My date kissed me on the lips.
    I left unscathed,
    But the guy never bathed.
    How do I find such drips?

  21. jazzbumpa says:

    Because I take a challenge like this so very seriously . . .

    loony barber will only do clips
    on the days of the solar eclipse
    he like to get paid in the moon’s umbral shade
    by aliens in lunar space ships

    cheers
    jzb

  22. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    When we go to the shore to watch ships,
    We buy fries from APOCALIPS CHIPS,
    It’s a humorous name
    That has garnered them fame,
    But the food is not hard to eclipse.

  23. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    Big Sugar was told told to eclipse
    Yearly earnings without any dips.
    And now profit balloons
    With the heaped tablespoons
    They’ve been adding to bagged tater chips.

  24. Mark Kane says:

    When shooting those sexy porn clips
    Remember to feature slow strips.
    Forget about writing,
    The key thing’s the lighting,
    Supported by consummate grips.

    Grips.

  25. Diane Groothuis says:

    With his gardener’s clippers he clips
    Pruning his plants sprawling tips
    But a scorpion fast
    Goes scurrying past
    And with his sharp nippers he nips.

  26. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Two For the Money

    She worked the day shift at Great Clips,
    And moonlighted at hot Ruby Lips:
    What she did there, I can’t say,
    But it featured her sashay ~
    Her hips garnered fabulous tips :)

  27. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Down and Out in Jersey

    The week Lloyd was set to eclipse
    All previous earnings and tips,
    The Gaming Board raided.
    His dealer gig faded…
    He now prepares veggies and dips.

  28. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Teenage Priorities

    Brows furrowed, she clips and she clips,
    Then highlights in black all her tips
    (Hair and nails). Smiles in glass
    But then frowns at her ass:
    Loudly sighs, and retrieves dip and chips.

  29. “Can you tell me,” the funnyman quips
    (A self-satisfied smirk on his lips,
    And with giggles a-boil),
    “Why the moon’s like a mohel?
    ‘Cause ‘e goes to your son, and ‘e clips!”

  30. “My girl and I tried to lock lips
    In the midst of a total eclipse —
    In the darkness,” he said,
    “I smooched Grandpa instead;
    And with that, I just can’t come to grips!”

  31. Inspiration, once flowing, now drips,
    Which accounts for my week-to-week skips.
    I should try something new
    (Like the TV shows do)
    And submit an assortment of clips.

  32. Helen’s looks have gone into eclipse —
    Three children have broadened her hips.
    Her burgeoning paunch
    Means her beauty can launch
    Only two hundred twenty-nine ships.

  33. King Arthur won’t bring to his lips
    An orange, ’til Lancelot clips
    Out those horrible seeds.
    Now, whenever he feeds,
    The King’s glad his knight ends the pips.

    (Oh, that was awful. I’m so sorry.)

  34. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    Will T….That was nice little creative burst there. Kudos.

  35. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    Patrice, I like limericks with titles.

  36. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    Aisle Be Back

    Mid movie she gets up and skips
    To the snack bar for more bags of chips.
    As she passes the screen
    She then adds to the scene
    The effect of a lunar eclipse.

  37. madkane says:

    Will Laughlin has returned in a big, creative way after a very bad bout with the flu. Welcome back Will!

  38. yt cai says:

    After twice being flagged for clips
    Three times too for giving leg whips
    He was lucky the ref
    Was practically deaf
    And out of position to read his lips

  39. yt cai says:

    With speakers of higher end Klipsh
    Gladys Knight and her back-up Pipsh
    There sound was so cristhp
    Except for that listhp
    The feedback caused while on road tripsh

  40. yt cai says:

    should be their not there – sorry

  41. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Yes, Will has me Laughlin a bit too hard for the competition :)
    Thanks, Errol…yes:

    Yule Be Bach

    Performing before an eclipse
    His Majesty “shifts” and downs nips;
    Heir’s air of the season
    Provides a sound reason
    Bach’s metre (unusually) skips.

  42. In Vegas we were handed our chips.
    The next day we saw an eclipse.
    I don’t mean to brag,
    But we went on quite a jag.
    We even saw Gladys Knight and the Pips.

  43. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    Moonbeam

    We awoke for the total eclipse,
    And I kissed her and moistened her lips.
    Now we wait for sights lunar
    (For we both have come sooner)
    In afterglow, joined at the hips.

  44. Jon Gearhart says:

    I went to see Doctor E. Clips
    To discuss my upcoming p. clips
    And out of respect to me,
    He described my vasectomy
    As a small set of painless, wee clips,

    And after describing three clips
    He showed past procedure v. clips,
    And those frames of reference
    Have made the vas deferens
    In prepping my bits for thee clips.

  45. Diane Groothuis says:

    I witnessed a solar eclipse
    When the Sun and the Moon came to grips
    But it seemed a bit strange
    When I noticed a change
    In my man who kept licking his lips.

  46. Janie Gouge says:

    You thought your life firmly in grip
    But didn’t prepare for your trip
    Now your heart’s on the brink
    Due to one fair-eyed wink
    And your world has fully eclipsed

  47. Lights dim like a solar eclipse,
    As the hungry Mad Scientist dips
    His potatoes in oil
    Brought to nuclear boil
    By plutonium — yes, fission chips.

  48. I went to see a gorgeous eclipse.
    Then my date kissed me on the lips.
    I left unscathed,
    But the guy never bathed.
    Where do I find such drips?

  49. Suzy can really shake her hips.
    Man! she’s a solar eclipse!
    Our eyes bug out,
    Like a rainbow trout.
    Compared to others she unquestionably outstrips.

  50. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    ‘E Gypt Us! (or Tried)

    They proudly displayed their news clips,
    Lengthy records of all of their trips:
    One twin traveled by land
    While his brother (more tanned)
    Stressed ’twas he aboard all of those ships.

    When young, Leonard made his demand:
    He would venture forth only ‘cross sand
    Leaving Denard at sea,
    Which worked out comfort’bly
    ‘Til their rendezvous in the Dead Land.

    Such a riproaring tale: they “chased” Pharoah
    Decades past, then fled young deaths by arrow!
    Leonard sped down an alley,
    Denard sought out a galley
    (Each made clever use of a wheelbarrow.)

    ‘Mongst the perils of their treasure hunting
    Was evading the troops puffing, grunting:
    Nip and tuck, they escaped,
    Then both hooted and japed 8^P
    Yes, they (sadly) indulged in affronting.

    The governor ordered a search
    In hopes brothers’ reps he’d besmirch,
    But in mosque lingered Leonard –
    Safe offshore had fled Denard.
    Soldiers did find his basket of perch.

    Yes, our Indy was based on the twins!
    And their storehouse of knowledge and sins.
    Both grew calm, if not sage,
    Consequence of their age;
    They were lucky to keep both their skins.

    Though the government men were suspicious,
    They proved nothing (but Guv’s tongue was vicious).
    Yet on tour here, today,
    They hold court, lean and grey ;^D
    Each pronouncing the teacakes delicious.

  51. Keeping Up With the Ks

    There once was a woman with thin hips
    She danced but got very few tips
    She wished to be plump
    With a rather wide rump
    One that the sun she could eclipse

  52. That florist! The roses he clips
    Are covered with aphids and thrips.
    A comment on love?
    Of a side-effect of
    Inattention and memory slips?

  53. The thrills of Las Vegas eclipse
    Good sense and economy. Trips
    For a Teachers’ Convention
    Too often to mention
    Turn into “Goodbye, Mr. Chips”.

  54. My secretary took my paper clips.
    So I told her that I loved her hips.
    Oops, I goofed;
    She hit the roof.
    Another one of my Freudian slips!

  55. Your incorrect knowledge of an eclipse
    Shows your full of pretentious quips.
    A hypocrite like you
    Has absolutely no clue
    Of the nonsense that escapes from his lips.

  56. Writer’s Block

    He skates fast and controlled, but he clips
    Errant rock. . . makes him wobble. . . he slips!
    Oy! He’d had the lead nicely,
    But the group’s on thin ice-ly –
    How would you caption these comic strips?

  57. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A Real Gem

    She blew on a stone, searched for chips
    And occlusions by using the tips
    Of her fingernails – slowly.
    No deed was too lowly
    For “John”, prayed the view’d not eclipse 8^p

  58. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Rub _alt in the Wound

    She knew that he watched, nibbling chips
    And then dabbing the salt ‘cross her lips.
    It played great in Poughkeepsie
    But tonight she was tipsy,
    Yelling OW! [confused chip bag with clips] 8^X

  59. Sylvie McKay says:

    A girl with immensely grand hips
    Was kissing her lover’s hot lips.
    As her large frame descended,
    And her breasts she amended,
    He was caught in a total eclipse.

  60. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    He Bloody Well Won’t

    A vampire performs aboard ships
    Using clamps, sheets, thick needles, and clips;
    And though he might eye it,
    He’s on the Kind Diet:
    Whipped cream never whitens his lips.

  61. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Rip [Off] Dog Salon

    He smiled and produced shearing clips.
    Oh no, Benji thought: There’ll be whips…
    Floor awash now in fur.
    Benj submitted, then Grrrr!!
    You’re yanking too hard, read my lips!

  62. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Nip and Tuck

    She kicks up her heels, then does flips
    For the promo [short film and long clips].
    He soon spots her, entranced:
    She just must be romanced!
    . . .
    Not today. His tail’s tucked – ow, she nips ;c(

  63. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Dogged Resistance

    Back door slams: loud commotion, heel clips.
    We sit up, strain our ears – whines and yips
    Say the boss brought in Zoe
    And twin poodle Chloe
    (Who nips.) “Lunch!” Out half the staff skips :)

    Leaving Brad and me, making up time.
    Nikki’s hot, but the pay is a crime :(
    She strides in: frozen smiles;
    Looks around: work in piles.
    Grimly sits: “I’ll just wait!” Cool in lime.

    Our heads down, we work, wait for the show;
    That she saw their stacks, others don’t know.
    They strolled in, unconcerned;
    Oh man, how their ears burned.
    Poodle-doo cleaning crew? Got to go! :)

  64. Jon Gearhart says:

    When the moon twixt the Earth and Sun slips,
    Occultation occurs, or that flips
    And the Earth’s in between,
    Or yo mama’s butt’s seen:
    What three things can cause total eclipse?

  65. In the 40’s beauticians used clips
    to set women’s perms and snips.
    But now a blow dryer
    Helps to acquire
    Lovely bouffants and flips.

  66. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Heavenly Bodies

    Well, there’s solar and lunar eclipse
    Plus the one where one “won’t” place their lips:
    Perigee parody,
    ‘Pologies to Jon G. :)
    Mama, let’s get full-moon memberships!

  67. Have you ever seen an eclipse?
    It makes you want to do flips!
    The obscuring of light
    is an amazing sight.
    It evokes thoughts of an apocalypse.

  68. Your incorrect knowledge of an eclipse
    Shows you’re full of pretentious quips.
    A hypocrite like you
    Has absolutely no clue
    Of the nonsense that escapes from his lips.

  69. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    1504: Don’t Ja-maica Me Hurt You…

    They set sail in ’02 in four ships;
    Chris predicted the lunar eclipse
    (Total). Natives said, Wow!
    CC, men: Feed us now?
    They ate, made it to Spain; end of trips.

  70. In Vegas he always slips,
    Even though he gives generous tips.
    First goes the money
    Then so long honey.
    And finally good-bye “Mr” chips.

  71. The Saga of gambling

    For good luck Mike holds metal clips.
    But the poor lad usually slips.
    First goes the money,
    Then so long honey.
    And finally, good-bye “Mr” chips.

  72. While adjusting my nightly hair clips,
    I felt something crawling on my hips!
    A family of critters
    Had a case of the jitters.
    You should have seen my flops and flips!

  73. “Come along,” said my friend, “on our trips:
    Let’s travel to see the eclipse!”
    In fact, it’s his wife’ll
    Provide me an eyefull —
    She’s popping straight out of her zips!

    (Can you see where the rhyming-word goes?
    Look carefully! If you suppose
    It’s just in Line Two,
    Please review it… and you
    Should discover it’s under your nose.)

  74. Tim James says:

    Her co-workers suck: they eclipse
    Bright ideas from anyone’s lips.
    A collection of hacks!
    Like a bowl full of snacks,
    This poor gal is surrounded by dips.

  75. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Just Dessert

    She jogs through the desert, hair clips
    Tinkling, falling and bouncing off hips.
    She’s a sight to behold
    With no chance to grow old,
    Thinks coyote pack, licking their lips.

  76. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Shock the Monkey?

    The monkey went by Mr. Chips,
    Who submitted long tax forms for tips.
    He winked and he nodded
    But confessed all, once prodded:
    Forms trashed, he’d skip town (read his clips).

  77. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Lip Service

    The stripper’s career in eclipse,
    She wore jeans with strategic, long rips.
    But waist up, she looked fine,
    Oh yes, darling, divine!
    Applied lipstick to show off those *ips.

  78. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Bye Bye Birdie, or That’s Just Ducky

    A duck, in his (plumage) eclipse,
    Off a log into swift water slips
    Down the creek with no paddle.
    Whoops, there floats a saddle
    (With a horse of a different color?)
    Submerging him ‘mongst the cowslips.

  79. Allen Wilcox says:

    A fellow. who hoped to eclipse
    Past sexual exploits, just strips,
    Asks a whore for advice,
    Who unbras, says “How nice.
    Let me give you a couple of tips.”

  80. Allen Wilcox says:

    She smiles as she sits there and clips,
    And the “Midnight Train” crosses her lips.
    She remembers the four
    Men whose singing could soar.
    Says Gladys, “My God, they were pips.’

  81. Allen Wilcox says:

    A barber, who chats while he clips,
    Drops hair on the floor and he slips.
    On his scissors he lands.
    Rising up ’til he stands –
    “This is not how I want to get tips.”

  82. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    We’ve a friend who thinks everyone flips
    At each tidbit of wit from his lips;
    And though none of us ever
    Would say he’s not clever,
    His quips are hard to eclipse.

  83. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    Moonlight

    We awoke for the total eclipse,
    And I kissed her and moistened her lips.
    Now we’re viewing sights lunar
    (We came a bit sooner)
    In afterglow, glued at the hips.

    (revision)

  84. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    Big Sugar expects to eclipse
    Yearly earnings without any dips.
    Watch their profits balloon
    From the heaped tablespoon
    They’re now adding to some brands of chips.

    (revision)

  85. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    When we go to the shore to watch ships,
    We buy fries from APOCALYPSE CHIPS,
    It’s a humorous name
    That has garnered some fame,
    But their food is not hard to eclipse.

    (revision)

  86. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    Aisle Be Back

    Mid movie she gets up and skips
    To the snack bar for chocolaty chips.
    As she passes the screen
    She then adds to the scene
    The effect of a lunar eclipse.

    (revision)

  87. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Yes, Regrets

    Out clubbing, she’s drinking and trips,
    Is helped up…ooo, his teeth: diamond chips!
    One hot night was to follow
    Though now she feels hollow,
    Betrayed by Spike’s posted (long) clips :(

  88. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Rest In Peace?

    Tall gravestone, drear under raindrips;
    When it clears, gardener gets out his clips.
    An unfortunate site,
    He thinks (in daylight):
    “I Will Rise! You can all stuff your RIPs”

    Thus “proven” an alien infidel,
    The priest was informed: Yes, she went to Hell.
    (Please report back post-death!
    But we won’t hold our breath.)
    Heaven, Hell? Either one’s a hard sell.

    I believe we all reincarnate
    (Well, not Hitler, yet: he “earned” his fate
    But staged left far too easily :( )
    You and me? Please! Less weasely,
    We’ll be back: more to learn, love, create :)
    [And I don’t mind each “wait”: God is Great.]

  89. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Affair Leads to Bare

    Stranger’s hair in your hubby’s nail clips
    When he’s back from those long foreign trips?
    I can place a small hex
    (It’s not all that complex)
    On his *ick: hair will fall out in strips.

  90. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Strip Tease – NY Style

    He ogled them all, gobbling chips
    In full costume, unsteady, ‘tween nips.
    “Look, I’m Sin-ta,” he jeered,
    “If you’re good (burped and cheered)
    You can see my big total eclipse.

    Yes, I model the great Dennis Franz!
    Doing this wasn’t part of my plans:
    I aspired to a vixen
    Who turned tricks for Nixon,
    But comfort myself with my fans :)”

  91. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    From C to Whining C

    She cooed, Where they may, let fall chips!
    And declined to take wiser gals’ tips:
    “Study more!” Came the day
    To high D plunged her A.
    Snagged one: “Jobs – Wield Those Lush, Pouty Lips!”

  92. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Mixed Media Messages

    The Home Office ran off a few clips,
    Admonished that “Loose Lips Sink Ships”.
    Young Lucy inquired,
    I was recently hired;
    Does this mean “Puckered Lips Prevent Nips”?

  93. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Whoops, “From C to Whining C” didn’t use the rhyme word: Rats! :(

  94. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 202.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Troll and Patrol.

  95. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    When Dead Men Flu

    Stephen King’s dread “Captain Trips”
    Struck partially during eclipse:
    Hit the Midwest this time,
    Where it sure reduced crime!
    Then over New York (whew!) it skips :)

  96. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Thanks, Mad – just wanted to post all my efforts, late or not :)