The Intruder (4-Verse Limerick)
The Intruder (4-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s dark and we’re out on our deck.
My sandals are off and then… Heck!
I yell words rather worse
And I scream and I curse
And turn into a blubbering wreck.
For my toes had encountered some ooze
When I slipped my feet into my shoes.
Seems a large, squishy slug
Had crawled (like a bug)
In my sandal. I now need some booze.
I jump and run off to the sink.
About gook, I am raising a stink.
Mark examines my sandal
And freaks at the vandal;
That mollusk still lurks there, the fink!
“It’s gross and gigantic,” he yells.
“And it’s slimy. Like snails without shells.”
Then he acts like a hero
And wins. Mollusk zero!
In my sandal, it no longer dwells.
*****
Are you familiar with slugs? They’re gross-looking, squishy critters (sort of snails without shells.) Super disgusting!
Now imagine you’re sitting on your porch in the dark, watching a video when, unbeknownst to you, a slug crawls into one of your sandals.
Now picture absent-mindedly sliding your foot into that sandal.
Yes, I screamed at the top of my lungs.
And yes, Mark thought I was insane, until I made him look inside my sandal.
But Mark did ultimately redeem himself by disposing of that large, snake-like critter.
Tags: Animal Verse, Mollusks, Outdoor Activity Humor, Outdoors Humor, Slug Limerick, Snail Mail Limerick, Wildlife Humor
We all know slugs: Dubya, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Libby, McCain & Graham, Yoo, Bybee, Feith, Perle, Wurmser, Bolton [clique who sold Iraq invasion which slaughtered 4489 Americans + 63,000 homeless Vets, 320,000 brain wounds, PTSD/mental-disorder millions, 18 Vet suicides daily…own bloody hands forever. + 103,000 Iraqi murders, 2m Iraqi refugees, tons left w/o electricity/clean water. More slugs: Bob Gates, Ted Cruz, O’Reilly, Hannity, Ingraham…”Slick-Willie” Clinton is “The Crisco Kid” ‘cuz he’s so greasy, muculent & clammy; Hillbillary also oozes noxious fumes from mouth. Are they animals? Oh, you mean mollusks [earth’s 1st inhabitants]? I bumped into a squid & jellyfish in Hawaii’s waters, yikes. Mad’s bona fide–both affronts creeped bathers out. Dropping a slimy beet into your loose shoe is fine vs. a squishy, scummy critter rendezvousing w/Mad’s toes. When removing bottom oven drawer, wee crawlers emerged; nevermore since drawer’s not restored & routinely mop under oven. May critter memory not haunt you like human slugs haunt millions of families.
How disagreeable!
And yet…. I much prefer them to snakes, which I have an absolute phobia and panic fear of. I have no doubt that it dates back to the day (or rather, night) when my younger brother made an apple-pie bed out of mine, and put in a snake, which started to slither along my leg, as i warmed the bed.
As an adult, I understand the origin of this phobia, but cannot do anything about it, and get panic attacks as I near tall grass, in the summer, and nearly throw up when I come across one.
Rather off-putting, when living in the South of France, where there are vipers, and seven feet long grass snakes.