Dotty Men
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A guy in a polka dot tie…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.):
Dotty Men
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A guy in a polka dot tie
Felt stylish, though heaven knows why.
His jacket was garish.
His pants were nightmarish.
And non-matching sneakers — oh my!
Yet he sat around mocking the gals
With some equally odd-looking pals.
“She’s too thin. She’s too fat.”
“She’s an ugly old bat.”
Can’t imagine their warped rationales.
Why do fellows behave in that way —
Scorning gals who look cuter than they?
Do they all need a shrink?
I sure hope they don’t think
It will lead to a roll in the hay.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Poem, Fashion Verse, Feminism Humor, Lookism Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Your “Dotty Men” is great! LOL!
I love your three verse limerick. Here’s a standard one-verser:
A guy in a polka dot tie
Liked to drink a whole bottle of rye
Then go out in his nudeness
The tie covering his rudeness
While the dots do a dance that’s quite spry.
A guy in a polka dot tie
was dandy and randy — oh my
he liked to cavort
in polka dot shorts
which we saw when he opened his fly
A guy in a polka dot tie
Thought it was time to die
So he hung himself
From the bathroom shelf
With the tie – way to die!- what a guy!
(I think there’s a slight problem with “guy” and “tie” in the first line. You take away a potential rhyme. Oh well, more of a challenge I guess).
A man in a polka dot tie
Had been courting a girl from Versailles;
When this proved ineffectual,
He went metrosexual
With help from those guys on “Queer Eye.”
Wow! Four fun limericks, already!
Thanks for the compliments, Veralynne and Jesse!
And Jesse, I was aware of the internal rhyme of guy and tie, but figured so many other words rhyme with tie, it would be okay to steal one. :) But if you or anyone else wants to use guy elsewhere in your limericks, you can feel free to change my first line guy to man. And if you want me to edit yours above to reflect that change, I’ll be happy to. Thanks!
A guy in a polka dot tie
Thought that his time was nigh
Acknowledging this
He gave his wife a kiss,
Smiled, and fell dead with a sigh.
When someone wears a dotted tie
Does this mean he’s a happy guy?
Happy to have lived his life,
Happy to have loved his wife,
And ready, at the time, to say g’bye?
We’ll never know, really, I think
Until we, ourselves, are on the brink
If I can I’ll remember a joke
And hope that I laugh ’til I croak
I’ll bet I would’ve asked for a drink!
A guy in a polka dot tie
Sat down, and his tie went awry
It was the tie’s fate
To dip into a plate
Containing a blueberry pie
Fortunately for the young guy
The stains remained hidden, and why?
Polka dots camouflage
Any stain, spot or splodge
Caused by food, by ink or by dye.
A man in a polka dot tie
Studied years to become a spy
Dreamed of bedding fine lasses
But flunked basic “brush passes”
Now his new job – “Want Coke with those fries?”
A guy in a polka dot tie
Met a girl who was limber and spry.
It is fair to report
That the two did cavort
And ran off with each other, no lie.
At first life was happy and gay.
They frolicked 12 hours a day.
It was all quite sublime
But then after a time
They found out they had nothing to say.
The girl who was limber and spry
Packed her bags then she started to cry.
It was midsummer’s eve
But the girl, she did leave
The old guy in the polka dot tie.
A guy in a polka dot tie,
handsome enough to stupify,
all the girls that he met
who were hoping to get
a marrying sort of of guy.
A guy in a polka dot tie
With ladies was morbidly shy
He learned a mean tango
Whipped up a fandango
But with girls he-a polka-ed and died
A guy in a polka dot tie
Complained to himself with a sigh
“My sense of high fashion
My buds all keep trashin’
They don’t like dots as much as I”
A guy in a polka dot tie
Was baking a blueberry pie
He soon splattered lots
Of blue fruity spots
Thus leaving the patterns awry
A guy in a polka dot tie
Thought he would give Broadway a try
When he played “South Pacific”
His cravat looked terrific
As he wowed the crowd with “Bali Hai”
A guy in a polka dot tie
Wore paisley pants on the fly.
Like a budding young flower
He became Austin Powers
And smiled when everyone asked why?
I love your limerick- Right on!! :-)
A guy in a polka dot tie
Searched the beach for true love every Fri.
As he sipped a martini
Spotting a (yellow)-polka-dot bikini
He found love and a material match. Bull’s eye!
Getting Untied
A guy in a polka dot tie,
His knot was done on the fifth try
Now it was the turn to tie his belt
Many contractions in lard were felt
On his belly- at 84 inches, and an open fly!
So he kept at it for ninety minutes
His belt was breaking into bits and bits
People just stood and watch the fun
They surely knew it could not be done
But the guy had his trouser now in splits…
As time went on, the audience jeered
Certainly, he was not a guy they feared
So our friend in a polka dot tie
Sat down there and screamed his battle cry
All 300 pounds, to kill, he was prepared…
The mob was now rather uncertain
The guy in a polka dot tie was insane
And a boxer of no small repute
So the ladies purred and said he was cute
And male tormentors quickly vanished in the lane!
A guy in a polka dot tie,
Drank rum till he was high.
Got kicked out of the bar
And could not find his car
So he walked home with a sigh!
A man in a polka dot tie
Raced jauntingly, biking right by.
He then started a wheely,
And fell rather freely
With tie through the spokes, my oh my!
The limerick craze has gone wild, it’s anything but a fad mild
The poets are racing, the rhymes they are chasing
To win every grownup and child
Okay, a couple of more limericks I just made up……..
A guy in a polka dot tie,
Wanted to fly in the sky.
But air tickets cost a rocket
And he had a hole in his pocket
So he smoked pot and got high.
A guy in a polka dot tie,
Took his mistress to the beach on the sly.
Who, in an itsi bitsi teeny weeny
Yellow polka dotted bikini
Made the other guys swoon and sigh.
Wow! This line certainly has your limerick juices flowing! Thanks for kind words and your fun limericks and please keep those limericks coming!
A guy in a polka dot tie,
Sat on the road and started to cry.
‘Cause his wifey had run away
With the handyman that very day
As he sobbed he wondered why?
A guy in a polka-dot tie
Thought he’d give selling used cars a try.
The lot sold ‘bikes, cars and trucks.
But buyers all said “This SUCKS!!!”
So he gave up, went home, got high.
A guy in a polka dot tie
In a restaurant saw a huge fly
He just couldn’t stand it
when near food it landed
His polka now dots its smushed eye!
A man in a polka dot tie
Was trying real hard to get by
That he felt so much pain
When the tie got all stained
Cause another he’s unable to buy.
A guy in a polka dot tie,
Smelled baked goods and uttered a sigh.
Although already wide,
Putting diet aside,
It was time for a nice slice of pie.
A man in uh poker dot tie
Got his ass kicked each time he’d try
Ta leave his house wearin’ like dat
Freakin’ ridicalous cravat.
When dey quit kickin’, dey punched his eye.
A guy in a polka dot tie
A smart international spy
Found his get-up was lame
It was always the same
And soon it was his time to die
A man in a polka dot tie
Had never been caught in a lie,
Now Congress is hoppin’
His power they’re stoppin’
He said, “What a good boy am I”.
A man in a polka dot tie,
Caused a lot of people to stare.
But little did they know,
It was made from old underwear.