Hot Limerick
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
On a hot, muggy day in July…
Here’s mine:
Hot Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On a hot, muggy day in July
Our A/C decided to die.
I phoned for a fix
And received a firm nix:
“It is too hot to work. We might fry”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Update: Air Conditioning Appreciation days run from July 3 to August 15.
Tags: A.C. Humor, A/C, Air Conditioning Humor, HVAC Humor, July Holidays, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Seasonal Verse, Summer Gripes, Technology Limerick, Weather Humor, Writing Prompts
On a hot, muggy day in July
Some eggs I decided to fry.
So I marked off with chalk
A nice spot of sidewalk
Where my omelette, though well-cooked, was dry.
On a muggy hot day in July
Our picnic was buzzed by a fly
I swatted and missed
Which caused me to list
And fall in the blueberry pie
On a hot muggy day in July
Republicans kept telling more lies.
We can no longer spend
On social programs
The wars will get jealous, oh my!
On a hot, muggy day in July,
A snoring man swallowed a fly
He woke up because
He’d become the new ‘buzz’
And was craving some ‘shoofly’ pie!
On a hot, muggy day in July
A woman was loosening his necktie
When in walked his mother
Who glared at his lover
And said, “Not before marriage, Rabbi!”
On a hot, muggy day in July
Into the beer landed a housefly
He took a sip
While in the dip
Until evicted by the boozer guy!
On a hot muggy day in July
I got out of bed wondering why
It is too hot to play
On this hot humid day
so its back off to bed so says I!
On a hot muggy day in July,
A naked man strode by.
Hands in his pockets,
Eyes wide in their sockets
He was squinting, we couldn’t see his eye.
As if this weren’t the best
A dead dog bit him on the chest
Cold water did scald him
All beauty appalled him
And he stood on a trampoline to rest.
It’s clearly a crazy Bizarro World we inhabit
Truth hides–when we find it, we grab it
The Powers That Be twist what they say
It’s obfuscation and confusion at play
They take our American heart and they stab it.
Politicians, corporations and media play a game
Is it “Fool All the People All the Time” by name?
“To Tell the Truth” or “Who Do You Trust?”
Our cracked Liberty Bell has turned to rust
For We, the People, it’s a cryin’ shame.
On a hot muggy day in July
I asked again BP, “Well, why?”
They answered that “Well”
Is the “why.” Thus we smell
Dead fish, birds, and beaches. Good-bye.
On a hot muggy day in July
It was so hot I thought I’d die
But then came the gloom
I remembered, it’s June
And the tear dried up in my eye
(In LA we have something called June Gloom)
Thanks! These limericks are making me … uh … hot. :)
I look forward to many more!
On a hot, muggy day in July
She succumbed to a craving for pie
Now curled up on her stomach
(Such heaving! How dumb; ick!)
Next time pass, on that Pie in the Sky…
1. On a hot, muggy day in July
My shorts stick to the back of my thigh
As I long for A/C
The humidity
Makes me go buy an Eskimo Pie
2. On a hot, muggy day in July
Upon sidewalks an egg you could fry
You work up a schvitz
As the temperature hits
A number uncomfortably high
3. On a hot, muggy day in July
With the sun beating down from the sky
I think Al Gore’s right
We have set Earth alight
Reverse this fate? We all must try
On a hot muggy day in July
I decided it was time to die
I jumped from the roof
But made a big goof
When I landed on a really fat guy.
On a hot, muggy day in July….
A tear came to my tender eye…
I saw a young fellow
With complexion so yellow
“Name’s John Diced” he said with a sigh…
“On a hot muggy day in July”
I kissed my young hubby goodbye
I thought you should know
I don’t want you to go
I told him as I started to cry!
On a hot, muggy day in July
I thought, “How am I gonna get by?”
I’m in trouble by heck
With no unemployment check
And the Senate don’t care if I die.
So I needed to find me some dough
But my government moves way too slow
Now my money’s all spent
Nothing left to pay rent
And each Senator’s like Dr. No.
The sun left us and then came the night
And I hadn’t so much as a light
So I drove to the park
Where I sat in the dark
And thought this is what’s wrong with the right.
The next day we ran out of food
And I got in a pretty bad mood
Then my wife tore her dress
I said, “I’m sorry, Bess,”
But you’ll have to remain in the nude.
I finally came up with a plan
Drove to D.C. as fast as I can
Where I got on the phone
Tried to get us a loan
But all they’d give me was John Boehner’s tan.
I had to do something and fast
I knew I couldn’t much longer last
But all I could see
Was the Party of Tea
And the number of morons was vast.
So I went near the White House to hide
When the cops asked about me, I lied
But while I was hidin’
I ran intro Joe Biden
And he talked as he brought me inside.
The White House staff gave me a meal
Can’t say how much better I feel
A long time we’d been walkin’
Joe never stopped talkin’
But it still wasn’t that bad a deal.
So I asked what the hell I could do
Joe said that he hadn’t a clue
But I followed his lead
And I met Harry Reid
And I asked him the same question too.
Then Harry, he took me aside
And explained just how hard he had tried
But the damn G.O.P.
They all work for BP
So each time that they spoke, they had lied.
So my story, it ends on that note
I had tried, but that’s all she wrote
There’s but one way to fight
And vanquish the right
That’s to make sure to go out and VOTE!
On a hot, muggy day in July,
The police rounded up a Red spy;
He lived in deep cover,
In a flat with his mother,
But seemed like a regular guy.
On a hot, muggy day in July,
A sultry young thing I did spy.
She was naked, quite bare,
With hardly a care,
Enjoying my smiles with a sigh.
Oh good! Lots more fun limericks. Thanks everyone!
Sorry… I can’t compete with these great limericks, but I enjoy laughing while sweltering. Thanks for making the heat a bit more bearable!
On a hot, muggy day in July
Damn temperature is way to high
Here in my living room do I sit
Just appling my wit
Hoping the air conditioning won’t die