Limerick Fall (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who’d taken the fall…*
or
A gal was enjoying the fall…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Fall
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who’d taken the fall
For his boss got enraged, took an awl
And then spiked the guy’s head.
His boss is now dead.
All told, it’s a job-ending brawl.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Boss Humor, Bosses, Competition Limerick, Crime & Punishment Humor, Employment Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Violence Limerick, Writing Prompts
A fellow who’d taken a fall
Was not very upset at all,
For pain was his kink,
So, despite what you’d think,
He really was having a ball.
A gal was enjoying the fall
Of her rival, who (motto: “Take all”)
Fooled their boss for a while
With her blinding white smile
Til his incessant calls of “Hey, doll!”
Led to snarls of rebellion one day,
And facades both had built dropped away.
Leers and Teeth had it out,
Curse and shout became rout:
Our gal likes her additional pay.
Poor, old Adam after the fall,
Was sure Eve had way too much gall.
She’d said, “Here, take a taste.”
Which he did in haste.
But he’d never liked apples at all.
A woman would easily fall
For southern guys, it was their drawl.
She’d try and resist,
Until she was kissed.
She so fancied that sexy “Y’all.”
A woman would easily fall
For cute guys, as she’d trawl through the mall.
She’d flash them some lace,
Then soon need a place.
Thank G-d for the handicap stall.
The people rejoiced in the fall
Of their burden, the feared Berlin Wall.
Came the day peace prevailed,
Reunited halves hailed;
Ponder distance between them – now small?
We wept at the sight of their fall:
The two towers, which had stood so tall
But fell on that day.
Love or hate, which holds sway?
I plead peace, forgiveness for all…
A gal was enjoying a fall
Festival at a large mall
She drank hard rum cider
Too much woe betide her
At a stall took a fall with legs all asprawl.
A fellow who’d taken a fall
For a gal who was seven feet tall
Though short as an elf
Was proud of himself
With his talents the gal he’d enthrall.
A fellow who’d taken a fall
For a friend who stayed late at a ball.
Went out with his wife
Had the time of his life.
And said “I was never St. Paul.”
After many a day of snowfall,
To the snowgirl the snowman did call,
“I do hope that perchance,
You would like to go dance.
And the venue, of course: the Snow Ball.”
An event that was sad did befall
To a history student named Paul,
Changed his major one day;
The professor did say
That the field had no future at all.
It looked like hard luck would befall
The seamstress, who started to bawl.
When she hung by a thread,
Tailor saved her, instead.
For her, it was quite a clothes call.
From the spring until late in the fall,
Since the days I was young and quite small,
I’d play catch just for fun.
Now I play with grandson.
You should try it. It’s really a ball!
Many rattlesnakes hope men will fall
When they’re bitten, so quickly they crawl.
It’s a game the snakes play.
When two men get away,
Snakes’ coach says that you can’t venom all.
When from Eden the people did fall,
Said the snake to them both with much gall,
“Here’s a tip for Adam
And for you, dear madam:
You should know that you can’t venom all.”
A fellow who’d taken the fall
For his boss, wasn’t happy at all.
“I want a HUGE pension,
Or the truth I will mention!
Pay now or you’ll join my downfall!
I’ve been seeing this girl since last fall.
In the bedroom, she sure does it all!
I’m one testicle shy
But I still can’t deny
That this gal is the Belle of the Ball.
A gal was enjoying the fall
Of her boss,who had tried to maul
Her ofttimes,
He paid for his crimes!
She showed him who’d won after all!
It’s Thanksgiving. What happened to fall?
It was summer, now winter — that’s all.
It was sixty degrees;
Now I’m starting to freeze…
So please hurry and open the mall!
A boy had a terrible fall —
In the fountain he fell in a sprawl
(For this is what comes
From doing one’s sums
While walking on top of a wall).
Whatever the future may bring,
We’ve now seen a marvelous thing:
I think you’ll agree
How rare it must be
For a summer to fall in the spring!
A progressive young man took a fall
When he tripped on a curb at the mall;
He felt like a cad
For he hated to add
To the problem of more urban sprawl.
At a Hallowe’en party last fall
I hooked up with a gal in the hall.
She was really quite gifted,
Her mask never lifted –
I love a good masquerade ball.
When the debutante took a bad fall,
The resulting unladylike sprawl
Made it clear in a flash
That the “belle” of that bash
Wasn’t even a lady at all!
Humpty Dumpty, he had a great fall
But he shouldn’t have been on that wall
The sign said, “NO EGGS!
“UNLESS YOU HAVE LEGS!”
Now his brains are all scrambled, so LOL!
In Phoenix, we long for the Fall
But have few autumn leaves to enthrall
Us, baked in the sun:
Scrambled brains, three to one!
I prance as I unpack my one shawl :)
The truth behind ol’ Humpty’s fall?
He had climbed up the neighbor gal’s wall.
Seems that chick was quite sleazy
She’d go “over easy”
And sunbathe in nothin’ at all.
POE IS ME… NOT
On a dark, dreary midnight one fall,
He awoke to a scavenger’s call.
But wouldn’t you know it,
That second-rate poet
Never heard, “Nevermore!” Not at all!
Humpty Dumpty, he had a great fall
From the Garden of Eden’s tall wall.
At least that’s the thesis
Of the Goose Exegesis
To the best of my faulty recall.
A fellow who’d taken a fall,
On consuming too much alcohol,
Said “I’ve now found the floor.
I could get to the door,
If I only could locate the wall.”
A woman was wearing a fall
Twas raven in hopes to enthrall
The problem with these locks
Is they attracted big cocks
Crowing on their way to the ball
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
Slipping off a very large wall.
It wasn’t a joke,
Three men drowned in the yolk,
But the horse scrambled from its stall.
THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING
The Knowledge that came from the Fall
Was not what’s reported at all.
‘Twasn’t Evil and Good;
Rather, both understood
Adam’s penis was laughably small.
O learn from my fate, and don’t fall
In love with a “Barbie”-type doll,
For she may come to life.
Then you’re stuck with a wife
Who is plastic and twelve inches tall.
The stir-fry chef Yu Hong did fall
Into love with the song “Glad Rag Doll.”
Now Diana’s sweet voice
Informs each menu choice;
Before Yu can wok, Yu must Krall.
A fellow who’d taken a fall
When his crack use enraged City Hall,
Said, “The smidgeon I had
Doesn’t make me all bad.
I have ladies lined up to the wall!”
As temperature started to fall
My energy started to pall
So I went out and bought a
Macchiato Latte
And had to be sure it’s a tall
The cute chick for whom Fred did fall
Could not stand him, no not at all.
But Fred had money,
So she called him “honey,”
And let him take her to the ball.
A gal was enjoying the fall
So much all she could do was crawl
Through a pile of leaves,
Full of laughs and dry heaves.
She’d finally heard nature’s call.
A colonial thief took a fall
When caught with a big sphagnum haul.
He was trying to clear
A large debt to Revere.
That’s right: He robbed peat to pay Paul.
A fellow who’d taken the fall
learned a lesson on the art of a brawl
while rules may be nice
they rarely suffice
’cause a sucker punch counts twice for all
I fear that I let my guard fall
With a gal I thought quite a fine doll.
The next morn (my mind boggles)
I discerned that beer goggles
Have nothing on grain alcohol.
A fellow who’d taken the fall
How easy to be hoodwinked by all
He got to thinking
No more giving in
Knock them blue, make them look small
Hank
A pal of mine who hates the fall..
I yet endeared to the winter snow…
But nah..I love the fall
Wherever winds blow..is where i go
For whatever snows..i stay…away..
From grace a young fellow did fall
After his girl said his dick was too small
He replied with a snigger
“If your quim was much bigger
You could hire it out as a hall.”
OSHA requirements prevent his great fall
When a modern day Humpty sits on his wall.
With harnesses and a large safety net,
Climbing up and down is now a safe bet.
And all the King’s horses can stay in their stall.
An old hooker had a great fall
Went arse over head in the Mall
But while she was falling
The sight was appalling
For was wearing no knickers at all.
An old maid was raking her leafs in the Fall
When she came on a yard gnome quite handsome tho’ small
“I’m magic he said. I come alive once a year
If you let me make love there is nothing to fear.”
She squealed with delight and they both had a ball.
A Reps sales continued to fall
At the annual Birth Control Ball
For sale he had Pessaries
And all sorts of accessories
To aid f*****g, but sold bugger all.
With Summer, Winter and Fall
Together with Spring tends to gall
Then there’s fire and flood
Cyclones and mud
Down Under we’ve now got it all.
To desires a young fellow did fall
Seeing girl bending over a wall
And although uninvited
With her he united
Until both were thrown out of the Mall.
In the scrub he had a terrible fall
Which left him with only one ball
And much later he found
When playing around
His Golf Bag held no balls at all.
A fellow had a real nasty fall
Fell in the dry pool at the Mall
Had he drowned in the pool
That would have been cruel
But he did’nt he died from the fall.
You’ve been drinking but try not to fall.
Soon you find yourself deep in a brawl.
If this was “Breaking Bad,”
You’d be more mad than sad,
And just laugh and think “Better Call Saul.”
A man of the clothe took a fall
Bar’s height into Heaven too tall
So he cried,”Oh sweet Jesus
I’m down on my knees’es
For whom, in the Hell, do I call?”
A fellow had taken a fall
In the men’s room, while “heeding the call;”
But the key to his fame
Was impeccable aim;
Did he sprinkle a bit? Not at all.
The Serpent, for causing The Fall,
On his belly henceforth had to crawl.
So the Scriptures begin
With Original Sin,
As it’s well-known to most (but not all).
A teacher was fired this fall
When caught having sex in the hall
Not with a student,
He was more prudent
But the mascot goat for football.
Being 80 I hope I don’t fall
While I’m perving on neighbour Lyndall
To watch her caressing
Herself while undressing
As I stand on this chair in the hall.
A Trapeze artist slipped and did fall
When aroused by his partner Myall
But she saved him real quick
Grabbing him by the dick
And part of his hairy left ball.
A Clone had a real nasty fall
Pushed by other half from a high wall
Who when caught made a fuss
And started to cuss
So was jailed for an obscene clone fall.
Hmmm…
Submissions on holidays fall…
While you geniuses shop at the mall,
Just WATCH how I slip in
And give you a whippin’
You can’t put a price in sheer gall.
Nudists blindfold the women each Fall
Creating a fun game for all
They check each male’s member
And try to remember
Who’re the owners of each dick and ball.
An old lady knocked out in a fall
Dreamed she was nude on her boobs in the Mall
She near had a stroke
For when she awoke
Found Graffiti on her backside and all.
A Fancy Dressed ghost had a fall
Spilling food and drink over his shawl
So he quickly undressed
Hoping not to shock guests
Who of course couldn’t see him at all.
Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 142.
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Crabby Limerick.