Limerick Ode To Obnoxious Poetry Submission Guidelines
Today (World Poetry Day) a discussion broke out on Facebook about the unreasonable rules poetry magazines often have regarding prior publication. So I couldn’t resist writing this limerick about these virgin-poem policies:
Limerick Ode To Obnoxious Poetry Submission Guidelines
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you hope for the honor and thrill,
To be published by us in our swill,
The work that you write
Must have never seen light.
And remember, don’t send us a bill.
Happy World Poetry Day!
Tags: March Holidays, Poetry Publications, Poets, Submission Rules, World Poetry Day, Writers, Writing & Publishing Humor
ha….yeah i have seen some pretty jacked up restrictions…but if you want to play that game…
brilliant Mad as always!
Ha. Fun limerick! It is frustrating to not be able to enter some of the things I put on my blog, but it’s also fun sometimes to write things rather different from my blog poems for the contests.
Your poem? Not published. No way.
Even if on your blog. No replay.
Once your work has been viewed
even once, we exclude.
Did we mention, “Exposure/No Pay?”
Here’s a few other points of some note:
We claim rights on all work that you wrote.
Once submitted, we keep
See? You sow; then we reap.
That’s our policy, folks…quote, unquote.
No attachment on any email.
If you do this, then poet – you fail.
What this means, in effect
is we’ll simply reject
what you send us. (A tiny detail.)
But another is our reading fee.
If your work is your best, you’ll agree
that it’s worth it for you
to pay for our review.
We take checks, charge and yes, C.O.D.
This is so true!
brilliant! Hate those rules and sometimes I wonder why they pick the stuff they do. The worst is having to pay a “reading fee” – did that once and then kicked my own ass so as to never do it again :)
Mad and RJ — so true, and so clever.
Having received my first electronic rejection (I’m pleased to even have submitted), I happily read and enjoyed your limerick. I’ve seen several around lately, limericks that is, and think of you every time.
Thank you for your recent visit and comment.
Thanks so much everyone for your lovely comments and verse!