Limerick Degree (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who had a degree…*
or
A woman who had a degree…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Degree
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who had a degree
In law, yes, the dreaded JD,
Found the market dried up,
So he sang for his sup
On a ship after going to sea.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Education & School Humor, JD Humor, Job Market Humor, Lawyer Limerick, Limerick Contest, Music Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Sea Limerick, Ships, Singing Humor, Travel Humor, Unemployment Humor, Writing Prompts
A woman who had a degree
with a major in philosophy
wore a white paper hat
and ask, “want fries with that?”
still remains a calm interviewee.
by Michael Grove
A fellow who had a degree
outfoxed the district attorney
with incredible luck
since no evidence stuck.
T’was the fruit of the poisonous tree.
by Michael Grove
A fellow who had a degree
Put on airs most interminably,
Until he was told
‘Keep your boasting on hold –
Your one is of stu-pid-ity!’
A fellow who had a degree,
Accepting it, said gratefully,
‘Though one is no fun,
It’s better than none –
For naught is at freezing, you see!’
a fellow who had a degree
had luck you would hardly believe
got himself a job
a bank to be robbed
to pay his tuition you see
I always love your limericks,
Oh and your hubby’s Valentine Ode Limerick was fab too.
Will mull over this one…
A woman who had a degree
In freezing out poor company
Used her most frosty glare
And her teeth she would bare
To all those she deemed lacked pedigree.
A fellow who had a degree
Failed at playing his new DVD
He said, “What a fool!
“All that time spent at school,
“And I cannot turn on my TV?”
A fellow who had a degree
Thought he was better off than me
While he slave away
I lie around all day
And can also lick where I pee
A woman who earned a degree
In English said, “Oh lucky me!
The honor! The glamor!
The job-offer clamor!
What’s that? No, the pickles are free.”
A woman who had a degree
Of dignity said, “Don’t you see?
That asswipe Santorum
Owes the woman who bore him
A humongous, sincere ‘Pardon me’?”
A woman who had a degree
Thought teaching was her cup of tea
But the kids that she taught
They lied and they fought
So, fed up, she killed two or three
A fellow who had a degree
Thought tuition should always be free.
“Fees are just for the birds”
Are the spirited words
That he calls from his home, in a tree.
A fellow who had a degree…
Was the first of his family tree…
But ‘though he was first in his class…
Couldn’t find work to save his ass…
And now he writes limericks for free.
A fellow who had a degree
Met another who boasted of three:
One was from grade school,
Another from trade school,
The third an online GED.
A woman who had a degree,
told the would-be nominee.
“Put your head ‘tween your knees,
and give it a squeeze.
Leave my contraception to me!”
A fellow who had a degree
Said ‘No-one is smarter than me!’
Then he fell off his perch,
And was left in the lurch,
When he couldn’t spell ‘Fiddle-dee-dee.’
*
A woman who has a degree
Of a fever above 103
Pukes and loses decorum
Bugged by Mitt, Newt, Santorum
She gets sick when they speak on TV
So many great entries so far! Hmmm…. let me see if I can come up with one… :)
A fellow who had a degree
Gave back to his school gen’rously
When they said his cash
Bought him the backsplash –
His thoughts could inspire all who pee!
As always, visit my blog to link to the news article that inspired this rhyme! :)
A fellow who had a degree
Thought to self, while on bended knee,
“Though she’s built like a filly colt
Her mind is like that of a dolt!”
He arose, said instead, “Excuse me.”
A woman who had a degree,
In the law, could successfully plea
For her cause, women’s rights,
In the birth control fights
That the House sought to limit to “HE”.
A Bachelor who had a degree
Was a snob you could plainly see.
Girls found him egocentric
when he played the eccentric,
and sipped only Darjeeling Tea.
snob limerick
A woman who had a degree,
En francais, took a trip to Paris.
She was very polite
So she took great delight
In saying “je t’aime” and “merci”.
A fellow who had a degree,
Took the lowly job sweeping debris.
No stress, but a hitch
Minimum wage is a bitch.
At this rate he’d not make bourgeoisie.
A fellow who had a degree
thought “Finding a job? I’m home free!”
But what he did not know
was the field would grow
To ten million two thousand and three.
A fellow who had a degree
Hoped it’d open doors easily
Sadly not!
Luck’s out
You win some, you lose some, see!
Beware the dreaded JD!
A teenager earned a degree.
She was raised as a child prodigy.
While her parents were proud
her head stuck in a cloud
and she grew up quite persnickety.
by Michael Grove
A fellow who had a degree
in physics, as one could easily see
calculated a curve
and then had the nerve
to demonstrate gravity with a pee
A fellow who had a degree
Was wondering what use it could be
As he remained unemployed
And feeling annoyed
Decided to use it for origami
Madelaine…I think I’ll try my hand at this next week…G
A fellow who had a degree
Could get you one too, for a fee.
‘With a Bachelor of Art
You could make out you’re smart
But it’s more for the full MSc’
A woman who had a degree
was appalled by the haut bourgeousie
who claimed intellection
but prized wealth collection
above even crumpets at tea.
A fellow who had a degree
in Catering Tech-nol-ogy
Said “You really should try it
It’s so on your diet
You’ll be as slim, as a leaf on that tree!”
A woman who had a degree
Of decorum thought she’d never see
Herself drunk, in disorder
But, while south of the border,
She let everyone see, nastily!
Some phonies who have a degree
Came by them unlike you and me.
“Legacy,” Skull & Bones, wealth,
Does naught for intellect, mental health.
Repug candidates? What do you see?
A fellow who had a degree
Scraped by with grade average “C”.
Successful and famous today
His scholarship fund a giveaway:
C-average students exclusively!
Ya know him, ya love him and
Ya can’t live without him ‘n’ the band
He makes us laugh when we need,
He’s a rare and wonderful breed.
He’s Dave Letterman! Give him a hand!
A fellow who had a degree
scraped by with a grade av’rage “C”.
Now well known and a “name,”
His scholarship fund has the aim
To serve C students exclusively.
Ya know him, ya love him and
Ya can’t live without him ‘n’ the band.
He’s made us laugh whenever we need
Thirty years we’ve been watching him bleed.
David Letterman! Let’s give him a hand!
A fellow who has a degree
A doct’rate in something, you see,
His name is Gabor
Which I pronounce Gabber
Because he has gossiped ’bout me.
*
A Canadian who got a degree
In British-in-India history
Couldn’t come back
To BC, alack!
No one at home would hire poor he.
*
A fellow who had a degree
From McGill could not teach Grade Three
Had to get an Ed Dip
Thus delaying his trip
To teach in the North Territ’ry
A fellow who had a degree,
After bar-room free-lance punditry,
(mostly logical judo,
and intellect, pseudo),
Needed reconstructive dentistry.
A fellow who had a degree
Thought staying should be free
So he did not pay the bank
And is now in the tank
Girlfriend to Mr legerdemain.
A woman who had a degree
Of sense, and she looked just like me
Was offered a place
In the Rat Race,
Declined, said she’d rather be free
A fellow who had a degree
Went on a drunken spree
He landed in jail
And couldn’t make bail
Then got caught again trying to flee.
A woman who had a degree
Was thrilled with her PhD
She landed a job
Growing corn on the cob
That fake hormones made big as a tree.
‘Dreaded’ maybe, but I’m told that ole JD can come in handy at times …
A turkey who had a degree
Vowed, “This Thanksgiving thing ain’t for me!”
In a mood of defiance
Willed his body to science,
Then gave thanks that he’d done that JD!
;)
A fellow who had a degree
Held it up for the whole world to see.
He said,”Four years in school
And I’m still the same fool
Except now I’m in debt, lucky me.”
a fellow who had a degree
in kart-racing, that set him free
but for god’s sake
where on earth is the break?
so up in a tree ended he
A fellow who had a degree
in the field of psychiatry
found he could not cope,
prescribed himself dope
now he’s bi-polar, but he disagrees.
A fellow who had a degree
in English, penned poor poetry.
his verses were trite
no agents would bite,
so he self-published for a huge fee.
A fellow who had a degree
In Political Sci (Ph.D)
Said, “I know my vote voice
Doesn’t leave me much choice
How I wish I could count up to 3!”
A woman who earned her degree
Was proud of her new PHD.
If only the doctor
Who served as her proctor
Had tested her not on her knee.
Squidward
A fellow who earned a degree
While studying under the sea
Formed such a devotion
To life in the ocean,
He settled there permanently!
A fellow who earned a degree
While watching some shows on TV
Could not understand,
With diploma in hand,
Why no type of job was to be.
A novelist dabbling in poetry
in her web surfing happened to see
A call to try her hand
at a form she didn’t understand
and challenged her creativity.
A fellow who had a degree
Was stung on his lip by a bee;
He uttered a curse,
And then did much worse
By flattening the bee on a tree.
A woman who had a degree
Decided to work in TV;
She fronted the news,
But stated her views
And was told that wasn’t PC.
A fellow who had a degree
Decided to set out to sea,
He donned sailing boots
And severed his roots
Leaving home with prodigious glee.
A woman who had a degree
Worked hard to update her CV;
She wanted a post
To give her the most
Enjoyment and autonomy.
A fellow who had a degree
Delivered a pizza to me
I questioned his lot
He said, “That’s the upshot
When you major in philosophy.”
A fellow who had a degree
Of loss with a case of E.D.,
Because he was winning
Up to the ninth inning,
Limped onward indomitably.
A woman who had a degree
From Harvard, Yale and M.I.T.
Was told that she can
Earn as much as a man
By serving wings at K.F.C.
Santorum, who has a degree
(BA, MBA and JD),
Now says: “Satan’s your guest,
Academia’s best.
Save yourself — be a dumb-ass like me!”
A fellow who had a degree
in wine tasting, liked his Chablis
from the Dauvissat vines.
“It’s the wine that defines
and it’s Grand Cru, which really is key.”
A woman who had a ‘degree’
was called the next Madame Curie
since her techniques and theories
and physicist series
were at Panthéon in Le Paris.
A fellow who had a degree
in forensics, said, “I disagree
with the cause of this death.
It’s not drugs; it’s bad breath
that’s the killer. The stink’s killing me.”
A fellow who had a degree
That was based upon D after D
(Not your average lout)
Now possesses some clout
After holding the presidency.
The woman who had a degree
In Hegelian Philosophy?
Oh, she’s doing just swell
In her well-padded cell
Singing fiddle me diddly dee.
A woman who had a law degree,
Tried hard, but didn’t seem to agree,
With her own folks and others,
Including all her brothers,
Some said- blame it on the pedigree
Tea Time
A fellow who had a degree
fell into the Sea of Galilee;
He sputtered and spit,
until God soothed his fit,
now he meets with the Pope for high tea.
Rubber Room
A woman who had a degree
was overcome with potpourri;
She saw elephants fly
she tried to jump in the sky,
she now lives within a rubber tree.
A shyster who had a degree
became a bankruptcy trustee.
With her case files stacked deep,
she would fleece all the sheep.
Got off lightly when she copped a plea.
A woman who had a degree
Had a thing for a baker named Lee
She said as they started to dance
“Is that an eclair in your pants?
Or are you just excited to see me?”
( I’ll steal anything )
A woman who had a degree
Found work as a trial attorney
She thought justice would always prevail
And the innocent would not go to jail
But naive she would turn out to be.
Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks! This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week winner and the Honorable Mention winners: Limerick of the Week 50.
But don’t worry. You can still have fun with limericks because a new Limerick-Off has already begun.