Planning To Back Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was planning to back…*

or

A woman was planning to back…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Planning To Back Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was planning to back
A man who was clearly a hack.
When people asked why
He’d support such a guy,
“I get paid to,” he said. “I’m a flack.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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55 Responses to “Planning To Back Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Martin says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    A colleague who’d just got the sack.
    But he changed his mind,
    As his pal had resigned,
    From the job he was desperate to jack.

  2. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A woman was planning to back
    A horse that they said was a hack
    She said ‘ It’s so sweet
    Even with four left feet!
    It will do very well on the track!’

  3. A fellow was planning to back
    Out his driveway, but drove on a tack
    His tire went flat,
    And the worst part was that,
    Of repair, he didn’t know jack…

  4. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    His fellow CTU agent Jack
    Most knew better though
    For on that show
    The lackeys die first in an attack

  5. A woman was planning to back
    Her man who was clearly a wrack*,
    “For better, for worse…
    But vows disperse…
    Oh, well,” and she went off to pack.

    *I didn’t know both ‘wreck’ and ‘wrack’ were correct, found out thanks to your prompt!

  6. A fellow was planning to back
    His girl who was clearly a wrack,
    “For her I would die,”
    He said with a sigh,
    “Alas, she was bad in the sack.”

  7. Stephen Earp says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    His hole cards of seven and jack
    But flop, turn and river
    All failed to deliver
    And cost him the rest of his stack.

  8. zongrik says:

    A programmer was planning to back,
    His data up in an old school style rack.
    The CPU broke.
    Then it let out some smoke.
    Now the hard drive’s got some nasty big crack.

  9. Kathleen Cole says:

    He Won’t Be Back
    A woman was planning to back
    A Cain, who turned out to lack
    The ethical reputation
    To lead a great nation,
    Unless to any ol’ female’s sack!

  10. jesse levy says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    out of his marriage because of a lack
    of anything like fun
    so he brought out a gun
    (The last line is crossed out in black).

  11. Robert Schechter says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    Away from supporting Barack,
    But when he reviewed
    The alternative dude
    He found his support back on track.

  12. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    Down his drive when the robber’s attack
    Caused no change in his plan:
    Clobbered robber in van
    Then drove off with him tied to the rack.

  13. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    A promising pol named Barack
    But he dithered too long
    Then went Right, so went wrong;
    Now wonders: next time, support Shaq?

  14. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman was planning to back
    Up her HARD drive, but paused for a snack.
    Now Lynn’s CDs all skip;
    She had only one chip!
    Maybe five…then the hacker’s attack

    Next caused system failure, she whined
    To her impatient friend as they dined:
    “What, no backup or scan?!
    I’m no longer your Fan!”
    Lynn sighed, to life OFFline resigned.

  15. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman was planning to back
    Out of plans to deal bigger in smack
    Then retire out to Cub-
    A (she was no one’s rube).
    Late one night she was given the sack:

    In Miami, those LIKE her aren’t fired…
    Her last thought: I shoulda been wired!
    Made to choke down a potion,
    Then flung in the ocean –
    Her service no longer required.

  16. Jim Delaney says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    A limousine on to the track
    So a racehorse would stop
    Going clippety-clop,
    But the train just went clickety-clack.

  17. Robert Schechter says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    The bail-out of failed Fannie Mac
    But then he said, “Why
    Should those assholes, not I,
    Be the ones who end up in the black?”

  18. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    An irrational war in Iraq,
    But his partner requested:
    “Rethink this when rested,
    And further — quit smoking that crack!”

  19. Errol Nimbly says:

    A young fellow was planning to back
    Well away from the cougar’s attack,
    But she managed a pin
    With a bottle of gin
    And the weight of her double G rack.

  20. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    Any pol not a hack, nor a flack:
    To his consternation
    And deepest frustration
    Was forced to remain in the black.

  21. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman was planning to back
    Well away from the rapist’s attack
    When something went Snap!
    Her attacker thought, Crap…
    Swift jujitsu moves cut him [no slack].

  22. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A smooth-talking guy planned to back
    His “equipment” into her young rack.
    She growled, with sharp pinches,
    I want feet, not inches!
    Affronted, he drooped in the sack.

  23. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    His new dentist for mayor (and flack)
    Who considered, declined;
    Thanks, but I’m too refined!
    You’re too kind. Listen, Jack, you have plaque…

  24. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    Drunken threats with a bombing attack:
    Bellowed, “Call me Sky Jack!”
    Then he stumbled, went slack.
    Now he does daily laps in a shack.

  25. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman one night planned to back
    Her Jeep INto a promising crack
    That had looked plenty wide;
    She’s still there, stuck inside
    But at least she remains in the black.

  26. Robert Schechter says:

    A woman was planning to back
    The legalization of crack,
    But she later agreed
    To restrict it to weed
    When she actually founded her PAC.

  27. Hansi says:

    A man was planning to back
    A candidate with a very fine rack
    He sure liked Sarah
    Who had a nice pair a..
    Dimples when she was on the attack.

  28. brian miller says:

    a man who was planning to back
    a politician who turned out a hack
    took in his own hands
    matters of the lands
    cast his vote for another, sad sack

  29. A fellow was planning to back
    A horse that did well on the track
    Alas, we confirmed
    It wasn’t Affirmed
    Alydar did do well, but no plaque

  30. A woman was planning to back
    A fellow who called himself Jack,
    But (what a sly fox!)
    When she peeped in the box,
    He popped out, and gave her a smack!

  31. Stephen Earp says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    An airborne and surface attack
    Then add in the navy
    And everything’s gravy
    Or so thought that muppet Barack

  32. A woman was planning to back
    out of writing – she felt like a hack
    but she gave it a try
    and then said oh my!
    somehow I managed it! Ack!

  33. A fellow was planning to back
    A girl that was tanning her rack
    He took many shots
    She showed all her spots
    But nixed any roll in the sack

    A fellow was planning to back
    Whomever would win the attack
    Alas no one foresaw
    It would end in a draw
    And then both sides would give him a whack

  34. kaykuala says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    A boxer once known to smack
    But off his prime
    Not worth a dime
    A pitiful sight on the come-back

  35. J Sardo says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    A pony on a very wet track
    The horse was a mudder
    Cleared the gate with a shudder
    But finished in back of the pack.

  36. John Larkin says:

    I thought I posted this already, but I didn’t see it; so, here it is again:

    A fellow was planning to back
    a business that ran in the black.
    But, it messed up instead
    and fell into the red.
    So, he gave the top people the sack.

  37. A girl who was planning to back
    A fellow who had quite a knack
    For paying for dinner
    And picking a winner
    But sadly got off the right track

  38. A fellow was planning to back
    A roulette ball to finish on black,
    When a voice in his head
    Whispered, “What if it’s red?” …
    Said the inquest, “Anxiety attack.”

  39. janet wolfman says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    Obama whose plan was a fract
    One day he woke up
    In jail with a cup
    For voting he sure lacked the knack

  40. A woman was planning to back
    A hunter who launched an attack,
    But no such luck:
    She was hit by a duck
    That fell from the sky with a ‘quack.’

  41. Robert Schechter says:

    A woman was planning to back
    Her car off the town’s railroad track,
    But she answered the ring
    Of her cell phone, poor thing,
    And was killed as she started to yack.

  42. scott says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    up to snuggle against his wife’s rack.
    But he stayed instead,
    on his side of the bed,
    when she planted her knee in his crack.

  43. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman was planning to back
    An employee she knew she should sack.
    His immense asset package
    Prevented his sackage —
    You might say he slipped through the crack.

  44. Robert Schechter says:

    A woman was planning to back
    The Republican and to attack
    The Democrat, but
    Then she said, “You know what?
    Who cares? I’ll just steal from the PAC.”

  45. brian miller says:

    already tagged you mine but enjoyed reading through a few for OLN…smiles.

  46. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow decided to back
    Out of faking a panic attack
    When he saw that his wife
    Resumed washing her knife;
    In return, he resumed talking smack.

  47. Mark Megson says:

    A fellow was planning to back
    Plans for the world’s biggest plaque
    Visible from space
    To any alien race
    That said “It’s not too late to turn back!”

  48. Robert Schechter says:

    A woman was planning to back
    Newt Gingrich — a true maniac–
    Because she thought “Newt”
    As a first name was cute.
    Besides, she was strung out on crack.

  49. hedgewitch says:

    A woman was planning to back
    whoever could bring the most jack
    she dressed as a teaser
    to see who would please her
    but she met with ennui not attack

    Been loving your political ones on FB, Mad. Thanks for playing with us at OLN.

  50. tashtoo says:

    A woman was planning to back
    up her booty while staying on track
    The train it did slide
    she kissed her booty goodbye
    As the conductor was really quite slack

  51. Robert Schechter says:

    A woman was planning to, back
    When the army invaded Iraq,
    Enjoy her vacation
    Exploring that nation,
    But instead she stayed home to unpack.

  52. Stephen Earp says:

    A fellow decided to back
    The withdrawal of troops from Iraq
    Then wait for the order
    As east of the border
    He still has Iran to attack.

  53. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks! This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners! You can find the winners announcement here: Limerick of the Week 41.

    But never fear — a new Limerick-Off is already afoot. Just click over here and Dip Your Toes In Limericks.

  54. poets rally says:

    Greetings: Excellent Blog.

    Happy Happy New Year.

    Best Wishes for the year of 2012…

    Your contribution is always welcome!

    Lots of blessings and cheers sending your way.

    See you soon.

    xoxox

  55. madkane says:

    Thanks Poets Rally!