Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BOARD or BORED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 16, 2023)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BOARD or BORED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PITCH, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PITCH-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: SINK, REFUSE, DAWN, ALARMING, CROWD.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 17, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 16, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BOARD or BORED-Rhyme Limerick:
When a man reached an online accord
To buy wood, he was certain he’d scored.
But, alas, he had not;
He’d been duped by a bot
That sent rot and was NOT above board.
And here’s my PITCH-Themed Limerick:
Her singing was heartfelt and loud.
(With great volume that gal’s well-endowed.)
But her pitch was so sad,
The conductor (her dad)
Told his fans “It’s my bad,” as he bowed.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
It’s pre-dawn. I’m in front of the sink,
Washing up, while attempting to think
Of a rhyme. But my muse
Yawned and said, “I refuse.
Don’t abuse me. I’m NOT in the pink!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Business Humor, Competition Limerick, Creativity Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Intonation Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Muse Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musical Verse, Online Shopping, Pitch Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Singing Humor, Writing Humor, Writing Prompts
On a tall ship young boys climb and rig it,
It’s exciting and they really dig it.
As they’ve no girls on board
Self-abuse has just soared,
Which is why the boat is called a frigate.
There was a composer called Mitch
Whose diet was very bean rich.
He was glad his behind
Was so well-refined
That his farts were all in perfect pitch.
My job is tax-payer protection,
By boosting the rate of detection
Of benefit fraud,
And I am never bored,
For of people I meet a cross section.
One thing that you don’t see abroad,
Are chaps with a large sandwich board.
They’re usually sad creatures
Like drunks or ex-preachers
Who exhort you to FOLLOW THE LORD.
I’ve just heard from two of my nieces
Some news that has thrilled me to pieces.
Their new ironing board
Has such big sales abroad —
That soon they’ll be as rich as creases.
Those opposed to the new transit millage
are concerned for the fate of our village.
They’re afraid a dark horde
will all climb aboard
the new buses to come here and pillage.
Long after our water was poured
the waiter appeared, looking bored.
“I can tell by your suit
the specials are moot;
there’s nothing that you could afford.”
The leaking of air from a tire
The sagging of pitch in a choir
Are both going flat
A circumstance that
Can lead to a great deal of ire.
A woman who sang in a choir
Was the object of the conductor’s desire
When he sought harmony
She responded off-key
No matter what pitch he ran by her
Many sports lovers witnessed a pitch
With a very discomforting hitch.
The ball flew in the air
Unmistakably where
All ball players typically itch.
Problem At 3AM
I’m upset cuz my mean wife ignored
My request, as she laid there and snored.
Now why couldn’t she
Simply answer my plea:
“Entertain me dear, I’m very bored.”
Johnny, Age Six, Has Just Learned The National Anthem (American)
I didn’t see dawn’s early light.
I went to bed real late last night.
Then I sunk in my chair,
And told God, “Make it clear:
One’s a flag and the other’s my kite.
August 19th. 11:26 PM Correction
Many sports lovers witnessed a pitch
With a very discomforting hitch.
The ball flew in the air
Unmistakably where
The batter would typically itch.
There was a termite
Of old Nantucket
Who used to chew to beat the bucket
He got laser choppers
And if that weren’t toppers
At the carving competition it was his mission and he scored
With his last scupper ba relief from a mahogany bored.
(Triple)
The crowd at the ball game were bored;
Hours passed, and neither team scored.
They turned on the light,
And pitched through the night …
By dawn, the spectators all snored.
They thought the much-feared water-board
Would unlock all the codes that were stored
In the Russian spy’s head,
But he told them instead:
“Most refreshing, that water you poured.”
Whenever the actor was bored,
He would dress as the Queen, and a horde
Of his friends came to tea,
Served with great majesty;
He never could reign, but he poured.
A john was happy he scored,
With a hooker he really adored.
He paid cash up front,
Performed every stunt,
But the hooker still appeared bored.
Yawn! Oh, please don’t tell me I’ve snored!
In broad daylight? My head falling for’d?
Did it land on that table?
(All they need to enable
A vote to get ME off this Board!)
Covid Side Effects: (around 2021)
My “sis” had a case of “the blues”
And assuredly claimed, “I refuse
To get out of the sink
I am close to the brink.”
I suggested, “Stop watching the news.”
The day that I met my guy, Mitch
We conoodled with nary a glitch.
And then when I screamed,
He said, while he beamed,
“Your vibrations have just the right pitch.”
There is a rich man who was bored
and tired of being ignored.
So he becomes Prez
and when caught cheating, says
“Why must you nitpick every word?!?”
From birth the butt crack of Todd Brown
Was rotated one fourth around,
On the school sliding board
The kids laughed and roared
As he plfffffffttttd his way down.
There once was a horny young board
Who was drilled until thoroughly cored
Her friends were subdued
At the way she’d been screwed
But she said, it’s okay, I was bored.
The Skipper I knew while on board
“S.S. Minnow” went out of his gourd
As the boat tossed and pitched
And that rich couple bitched.
I’m afraid he’s completely unmoored.
From recent personal experience:
Food pois’ning’s alarming, I think:
It makes an incredible stink!
Bad enough all that poo,
But the puke and the spew…
Come dawn, I must Drano my sink.
I’ve been given a Newf pup named Mitch;
When he runs, the whole house seems to pitch;
He barks and he drools
And he pees on my rules…
But (sigh) he’s so easy to scritch!
(Pitch)
Whenever she tries to sing higher
The sound she emits is quite dire.
She’s no Di’na Ross
But she’s loved by her boss
Cos she’s got the best tits in his choir.
A young rookie developed a glitch:
He’d swear (under his breath) when he’d pitch.
His old manager though,
Said, “Your pitch is too low.”
So he learned to yell, “Son of a bitch!”
Sex cruise popularity soared,
Attracting a sizable hoard.
Wild parties; group sex,
Went down well, below decks.
All-in-all, (one could say) above board.
Dang It!
I was feeling neglected and bored.
Hubby kissed me. My low spirits soared.
I cooed, “Let’s go to bed.”
When he said, “Well, instead,
would you fix me some lunch?” I was floored.
“The new NOT ENOUGH INFORMATION T.V. news show”
“Hi and welcome to “Newsy Event.”
A show with a timely intent.
Due to faulty logistics
The alarming statistics
Have sunk down to fifteen percent.”
Can Ya Dig It?
Wrinkled clothes stacked near my ironing board
will just lie there, completely ignored
‘cause today I’ll be groovin’.
To the oldies I’m movin’
like a teen to the hits most adored.
Could I Make a Suggestion?
When I went to the boss with my pitch
for some changes, the ungrateful witch
canned me right on the spot.
She yelled, “No, you may not
have my job so you’ll get filthy rich!
Bad Girl
Gabby Gilda can draw a huge crowd
when she gossips; she’s unhinged and loud.
Her behavior’s alarming;
reputations she’s harming.
“I’ll spread all dirt I hear!” she has vowed.
“He Forgot The Rules”
Daddy laughs ev’ry time he recalls
The day of the “Infamous Brawls”
The batter kept “walking”
And the “ump” loudly talking:
“Hey, Jerk! you have only two balls.”
Oops! That was very wrong:)
“He Didn’t Know The Rules”
Daddy laughs ev’ry time he recalls
The day of the “Infamous Brawls”
When the batter kept walking
While the pitcher was squawking:
“Hey, Jerk! You have only two balls!”
The waitress just ranted and roared,
dissing friends and the boss she deplored.
“Don’t you have any scruples?”
I said (with wide pupils)
She said “No luv, jus’ what’s on the board”
I woke up at dawn, and I vowed
“No more lim’riks! (I whispered aloud.)
Well, that lasted one day
Cause I can’t stay away
Very far from the MADdening crowd.
A wealthy young woman deplored
That part of her life she abhorred:
“I so suffer, you see,
From this ghastly ennui!”
That’s a haute way of saying she’s bored.
My sales talk went well – not a hitch –
‘til upset by a lesbian bitch.
She stood up and said,
“Buy my stuff instead.”
So I told her, “Stop queering my pitch.”
And of course we have, au contraire:-
My friend Robert is gay – and a Peer.
And his dwarf friend is so very dear.
At a recent State Fair
He was tossed in the air –
And Bob shouted; “Stop pitching my queer!”
As he watered the pitch one fine day,
He just put his hose quickly away.
“It’s not cricket to quit!”
Cried a voice in Sanskrit.
“It’s the weather, Sahib. Rain stopped spray.”
So alarming, I tried to protect ‘er
I truly did not disrespect ‘er
Some explosives I eyed,
So I pushed her aside.
My name’s Bill. I’m a refuse collector.
For this athlete, so many hearts soared,
A silver Olympian adored.
Sadly bowel cancer grew,
Died at just 22.
We remember sweet Lillian Board.
There’s been a security glitch
At the football game. Nary a stitch
Does the streaker have on
As the crowd shouts; “Be gone!”
(At the players to get off the pitch!).
I saw the sun SINK (rather charming),
But now it is DAWN, how ALARMING!
E’en a harvest-time snooze
This CROWD will REFUSE
As our living is ‘arable farming’.
Some say Icelanders never act bored.
(To say “meh” is considered untoward).
So, since they’re never blah,
Most are bound to say, “Ja!”
When invited to ford a fjord.
First the pitcher threw high then threw low.
Either way is a baseball “no-no”
Should the hitter be thrilled?
Is the pitcher not skilled?
Two more throws will decide if that’s so.
The jewel thief said “Mitch, here’s the pitch:
I’ll drive, – you can make the quick switch”.
But in court they soon landed,
With rubies, red handed.
Now in clink,- not the pink, or the Ritz.
One political faction –a horde —
Abandoned the pen for the sword.
But their plan was derailed,
And the splinter group failed,
Because no one would sit on the board.
The men love to go there and squeez’er.
She’s known as “The Ding-a-Ling Teaser.”
It isn’t alarming
That Lollipop’s charming.
Deep down, she’s the Midtown Crowd Pleaser.
All I’m getting today from my muse,
Is a vacuous silence; no clues.
Each clever new pitch
I attempt, has a glitch
She could fix, put prefers to refuse.
Imperfect Pitch
A pianist who wasn’t too deft
Checked the key for a piece (to the left),
Saw one flat, and thought, “Gee!
This whole thing is in C!”
The result: his performance was F’ed.
“Nanny’s Mental Health Session”
“I’m a nanny for 10 year old, Ward.
I love him, he’s never ignored.
But on weekends we play
For 10 hours a day.”
(Diagnosis: “Monopoly Bored”)
Groused Aurora, “The moon sinks anon.”
(But she knew that the show must go on).
“In so many words,
My job’s for the birds!”
There you have it — the first crack of Dawn.
The “Real-Life” Sales Pitch
“This will kill all your bed bugs, you’ll see!
Just one spray, and they’re gone one, two, three!
I also must mention
Please pay no attention
To the ones crawling all over me.”
“Divorces R Us” Mid-Morning Coffee Break Chitchat:
“Her grounds for divorce struck a chord.
I asked, “How may I help you, Ms. Ford?”
Without shedding a tear,
Her answer was clear:
“For 55 years, I’ve been bored.”
Bravo for your Aurora limerick, Ms. Sjaan.
And I even giggled reading your pun.
Rudy
Hi, Rudy! Thanks. I hope a giggler makes up for some of those groaners.
:)
“The Yankees” Yeah!
The batters are very smart thinkers.
They’re wise to those dumb pitchin’ stinkers.
Well, duh, they refuse
To fall for that ruse:
In Yankee talk: “Vain Attempt Sinkers”
(2 Randoms with a Pitch:)
As my lady reclined on the sward,
Of a sudden I’m no longer bored.
With my passions aflame –
Which, methinks, ‘twas her aim –
She is happily playing the bawd.
“Where do cricket and baseball connect?”
“In their use of a word?” “That’s correct.
Cricket’s played on this word,
Which to you sounds absurd,
As to you it means throw or project.”
“There’s one trouble with cruising abroad.
You get pirate attacks.” “Oh, my Lord!”
“It’s okay it you’re rich,
You get ransomed.” “The bitch?”
“If you’re worthless, you’re pitched overboard.”
The underdogs pick up the slack.
Neck and neck in the ninth; they’ve come back!
Last play for the cup;
The pitcher winds up,
Then the power goes out, – it’s pitch black.
Four indictments, four limericks
Through the years I’d become very jaded.
Would Trump face the music? I waited.
I’d gotten quite bored.
Alvin Bragg then restored
A small measure of justice, belated.
The pitch of Trump’s whining got higher
As Jack Smith held his feet to the fire.
Stolen docs were the crux.
If you ask me, it sucks
They were left in the loo of a liar.
More charges were crowding the field
Because Smith was refusing to yield.
He proceeded to fix
The main blame for 1/6
As Trump’s sanity tottered and reeled.
A new day is beginning to dawn;
It’s alarming to think what went on.
Fani Willis may sink
All these mobsters, I think.
Like the shreds of Trump’s mind, they’ll be gone.
pitch and two randoms.
It dawned on me during the night.
In pitch-darkness I did see the light.
And so, it sank in,
Much to my chagrin.
It’s a burden to always be right.
Last week I did tell a new date
That I’d be a wonderful mate.
I said I was rich,
And that’s a great pitch.
Yes, self-aggrandizement works great.
I offered a guy room and board
And soon found myself housing a hoarde
Of his buddies – all drunks
Who, unbathed, stunk like skunks.
And I now find my ox getting gored.
When drafting the text for a pitch,
I will often encounter a hitch.
Because – don’t ask me why –
But you’re not s’posed to lie.
Which means writing this thing’s quite a bitch!
Overwhelmed by the mess in my sink
(Dirty dishes, beginning to stink)–
I’ve a sudden caprice:
Dawn can handle that grease!
P&G draws me back from the brink.
A REEEEEL Ugly Baby
On the “Motherhood” bulletin board
There’s a photo I’ve always abhorred.
It depicts my “beginning”
And the doctor’s head spinning
While he’s hanging himself with the cord..
Correction of a Limerick From August 24, 12:54
The pitcher threw high then threw low.
In baseball, they’re both a “no-no”
Should the hitter be thrilled?
Is the pitcher unskilled?
Two more throws will decide which one’s so.
There once was a salesman named Herschel
Who had his own late night commercial.
The pitch he would make
Had claims that were fake.
But he said they were just controversial.
Hi J.O’Connor,
Thank you for inspiring me to write this limerick. I hope you don’t mind.
Rudy
He ran for the Senate, that Herschel,
And for Trump he then made a commercial,
A political pitch
That failed him and which
For Georgia was too controversial.
Said a guy who was amply endowed:
“Sure, this makes me stand out from the crowd.
Though some gals have refused —
They’re alarmed they’ll be bruised —
For the most part, the ladies are wowed.”
Hi Rudy,
That’s good, HaHa. I don’t mind at all!
A carpenter who was quite bored
Wondered how many holes could be bored.
He gave it his all
With auger and awl
And he made Swiss cheese of a board board.
A ball thrown on my house by a goof
Came down so fast that I said, “Strewth !”
But what caused the ball
To so rapidly fall?
I’d say it’s the pitch of the roof.
I don’t give a crap Junior scored
20 runs and he got an award.
Or that brat of yours, Scotty
Fine’ly goes on the potty.
Christmas Letters: The essence of “bored”
The Soprano, Ms. Lah-Dee-Dah Fitch
Always tried very hard to bewitch.
Her edible candy
Sure came in real handy
In maintaining her well-known high pitch.
There once was a karate master
Who had a bit of a disaster.
A rotten wet board
When a guy that he floored
Broke and all that he had was a plaster.
Some termites en route to maraud
A stockpile of wood, formed a horde.
But the timber was baited;
Termites? Terminated!
Its active new status: “Not bored”.
He was up at the first crack of Dawn
But Dawn was in no mood for porn.
Though his charm was disarming,
She found most alarming,
The crowd that had formed on their lawn.
At an opera he truly adored,
He never, no never, got bored.
In his own private box,
He pulled up his socks;
And in tune to the music he snored.
When this happens, I feel uncontrolled.
Forget it, I can’t be consoled.
All the world’s in accord
That the essence of bored
Is something that’s known as “on hold”
I sank low, and I’d do it again.
I bent over backwards for Ken.
You might think it alarming,
But my Kenny’s so charming.
That I helped him escape from the pen.
A dud hunter, when stalking a horde
Of wild pigs, and then ending up gored,
Said “Though times have been few,
when I’d nothing to do,
It’s the first time I’ve ever been boar’d”.
Senior Housing: “The Mahjong Group”
Our group could no longer afford
The condo we’ve loved and adored.
So we moved to “Life Ends”
Now we all wear Depends.
And the winds of change keep us unbored*
(really a word)
In cricket you bowl on a pitch?
Then those wickets are pins (waiting), which
You must try to knock down?
I can see that you frown.
In my reasoning is there a glitch?
Already alarmingly loud,
Its leader had summoned the crowd.
Such action it took
That the foundation shook;
Which left all those Swifties quite proud.
(Taylor Swift fans caused a mag 2.3 earthquake during her performance at
Seattle’s Lumen Field).
When Burning Man started to sink
In water that’s unfit to drink,
E. Musk and his crowd
Got reportedly plowed;
Where “X” marks the spot, one would think.
The train quickly left and it roared.
It was carrying folks I’ve abhorred.
Whose planned destinations
Were nowhere near stations.
Karma Train. chug chug chug. “All Aboard” !!
Here’s my secret, it’s time to confess:
“Transportation’s” the means to success.
To strike the right chord,
I must hop aboard
The “Limerick Hot Mess Express.”
Giuseppe Emigrates From Sicily To New York: 1902
“I-a come here by ship, and adored
New York, I was really a-floored.
Now 2 years-a gone by
All I do is a-cry.
I-a wanna’ go back. I’m a-bored.”
The Chairman of the Board Speaks:
“This meeting’s been very upsetting.
To such a degree, I am sweating.
Since we’re all in accord
On this critical board,
There must be some stuff we’re forgetting.”
A slight improvement on the “cricket” limerick I submitted on Sept. 5.
In cricket you bowl on a pitch?
Then those wickets are bowling pins, which
You must try to knock down?
I can see that you frown.
In my reasoning is there a glitch?
I refuse to get up before dawn.
I’d rather be quartered and drawn.
But don’t worry, my friends.
Before this day ends
I’ll be up and I’ll see you anon.
There is an old surfer named Charlie
Who’ll ride to the beach on his Harley.
He’ll strap down his board
With a long bungee cord.
And that ride to the beach will be gnarly.
The oboest set the pitch
The floutests started to bitch
They slobberd and farted
And acted retarded
The conductor said “PLEASE DESIST”
(apologies to my flute playing friends)
Please correct the word conducted to conductor
Choral singing is something of which
My experience is not very rich
So my timing is rough
And I run out of puff
While I’m constantly dropping in pitch.
When someone complains they are bored
I play them my favourite chord
On my fine ukulele
I strum it so gaily
Their joie de vivre is quite restored.
All the clothing came off, every stitch,
As we scratched that old mutual itch.
When we were through ya’
Sang Hallelujah!
Were you faking? You sang it off-pitch.
A naked street artist named Dowd,
To an onlooker frankly avowed,
“I would never refuse,
to sketch YOU, if you choose,
But I’m happiest drawing a crowd.”
Sue had emotions at her core,
So they looked down on her as a bore;
In some lines secrets embrace,
A touch of longing and a lace;
Erotical stories hold so much more.
There once was a difficult girl much bored ,
She was feeling absolutely floored ;
So she decided to play ,
To give ignorance no way;
By making problems, her spirit restored.
Tom experienced doubt early on,
Crying, “Mama, the sun is all gone!”
“It’ll come back, I promise,”
She assured Doubting Thomas.
Still, he set his alarm clock for dawn.
Orders From The Chief
The “Unemployed Crowd” demonstrations
Need dispersing; there’s new regulations.
They’re refusing to stop,
So now ev’ry cop
Will be handing out job applications.
Whenever I’m hearing a uke’
I’m instinctively ready to puke.
To recover, – unbored,
From that sound I deplored,
I play Stevie Wonder’s “Sir Duke”.
I know a nice fellow from Maine.
Who refuses to ever complain.
But a clog in his sink
Has him close to the brink,
‘Cause his arm is still stuck in that drain!
Cinderella attended the ball
Uninvited, and she had the gall
To flirt with Prince Charming;
And then, most alarming,
She refused him a date, after all.
The Republicans are in suspense,
As voters still sit on the fence.
It’s alarming to think,
(And it makes my heart sink)
We could end up with President Pence.
Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall
Made movies, and those were a ball.
Their films never bored.
Were they sexy? Oh, Lord!!
No need for their baring it all.
“Proud Papa”
My boy Jumbuck sure makes me so proud.
He only does what he’s allowed.
“Jum” refuses to stray.
Always goes the right way.
Atta Boy Junior! Follow the crowd!
Dinner Party Clean Up
Before cleaning up, you must think.
You do not want a whiff of a stink.
Your pipes will be harmed,
And you’ll be real alarmed:
Don’t pour used cooking oil down the sink
I’d love my career to be calming
But somehow got lumbered with farming
A whole crowd of sheep
Is disrupting my sleep
And at dawn, a loud clock is alarming
There once was a man extremely bored
So he saw a train to get on board.
He liked a train tour,
But he found no brochure;
So he rode in a carriage of a gourd.
He found a new spot, so he switched
From the place where his tent had been pitched.
The new spot he chose
Was where poison oak grows,
So he scratched all night long where it itched.
Attention All Limerick-Off Procrastinators: The current Limerick-Off ends Saturday, September 16, at 4 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.
Acrostic for PITCH:
Prepare for a pitch that is great.
It might curve. It might sink or be straight.
The advice you should heed
Can be simple indeed.
Hit the ball if it’s over the plate!
THE BORED CARPENTER
@rwspisak
The Bored Carpenter traveled to the lair of the LAIRD of the MANOR to board
the dripping ship whose cargo the storied boar had ripped bare.
Which bore the blind bard toward his sovereign lord, who snored at his supper board
Where each well-wined diners, each drunk from the deep vessel with the pestle,
for their reward, which was from a single sable maple bored.
The Bard received, for his grief, the order of the planed board from the mangy.
Maniacal King who sat through the banquet bored.
The jaded sated poet drew his sword and gave his word: he would go abroad,
rather than accept his reward so long UNSOUGHT, though Ner forgot.
Yet they all witnessed, he’d sworn on his sword his sacred word. Bounded by the Sound untoward.
See above.
Dear Mad, I assume you are bored,
By folk who just can’t take on board
That a limerick verse
Is quite short and terse –
And that 500 words are deplored
Dear Bob, Yes it seems there’s a glitch,
This epic is ever-so kitsch
And breaks all the rules
That us limerick fools
Work hard to include in our pitch.
Laird have mercy.
Whenever Scotch whiskey I drink,
I believe I’m a poet and think
That my poems are charming.
But rejection’s alarming.
I refuse to accept that they stink.
The conductor yelled “all aboard”
Passengers got on looking bored
Happy hour at the ciub car
Which had a very nice bar
Hookers found new prospects and whored.
,
The conductor yelled “all aboard”
Passengers got on looking bored
Happy hour at the ciub car
Which had a very nice bar
Hookers found new prospects and whored.
I haven’t submitted this
,
Please imagine mind numbingly bored.
Now groan inwardly – someone has scored.
Every night it’s the same,
He must watch ev’ry game.
(And to think he was once so adored.)
A surfer who men much adored,
Thought, “No,” she was not untoward,
If she boogied sweetly
And suntanned completely
While pitching about on her board.
One dawn surfing out and around,
She spied a young man well endowed
And they surfed down the shore
With a smile – nothing more,
And were a big hit with the crowd.
Thanks so much everyone for another fun Limerick-Off, which is officially over. And the winner is…
Limerick-Off Award 513. Congratulations to the winners!
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun:Limerick-Off Fined.