Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LIGHT or DELIGHT at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: June 24, 2023)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LIGHT or DELIGHT at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TEACHERS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TEACHER-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: JOINT, LOVELY, NAP, TAX, CONQUER.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 25, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 24, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my LIGHT/DELIGHT-Rhyme Limerick:
I enjoy writing verse that is light,
Although many poo-poo it as trite.
And I happily slave
Over lim’ricks — my fav.
They’re well worth it, when written just right.
And here’s my TEACHER-Themed Limerick:
The schoolteacher, usually nice,
Could be scary at times – cold as ice.
And her tone, when provoked,
Went from mellow to stoked
With a furious “THAT WILL SUFFICE!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
“How I long to be able to nap
Just like those who can sleep in a snap.
As for me, there’s no point
In trying. Each joint
In my body shrieks ‘Don’t bother, chap!'”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Education Humor, Light Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Sleep Limerick, Teachers, Teachers Humor, Teachers Limerick, Writing & Publishing Humor, Writing Prompts
Said the sultan, “Let’s party all night!
Line the girls up and do the thing right!
Let the Harem Recorder
Call each one in order:
We’ll call it a Turkish Delight.”
To his teacher a boy in Juneau
Said, “I can’t write. It’s 20 below.”
So she took out a strap,
From his arse beat the crap,
And then said, “Warm your hands on the glow.”
Said a teacher, “I love teaching words,
Like cannons and canyons and curds.
Like fuming and frantic
And spuming, Atlantic,
And hippos and hoopoes and herds.”
Lighting lamps on small boats in the night,
He wished he’d a lamp that was bright;
So he bought a new wick,
And now this clever trick,
Means the lighters’ lamp-lighter’s lamp’s light.
Said I, I love the moon light
It puts me in a mood that’s right
So my suiter dropped trou
My reaction was, WOW
Your mooning is best seen at night
I’d like to give thanks to those teachers,
Who due to their no-nonsense features,
Helped build a foundation,
While real education,
Was going on under the bleachers.
My English School teacher was a hottie
I imagined doing stuff that was naughty
His aftershave made me woozy
Wished I was a floozy
Screw words, let’s conjugate his body
My Math teacher was so hot.
My lessons I simply forgot
When he leaned over my desk
I broke out in a sweat
My formula? Play dumb a lot.
My Spanish teacher was muy guapo
He made my heart simply stop-o
His voice was castanets
He made me hot he made me wet
I was done for, hook line and taco
From The Dictionary: “DE” added to verbs and their derivatives denoting
REMOVAL or REVERSAL
Who made up “delight” isn’t bright.
To say it is simply not right.
DEtox and DEcode
Are in the true mode.
But “delight” doesn’t turn off the light.
The way teachers teach physics and math
Makes their students respond with sheer wrath.
Want the secret to teaching?
Stop screeching and preaching!
Leave each kid to find their own path.
Please excuse me; I feel a bit light
In the head. Would you be so polite
As to please stop that top
From its spinning? Chop-chop!
Can’t you tell I’m as high as a kite?
Gee, how lovely! They just raised the debt
Ceiling. Nice! We have now dodged the threat
Of a flagrant default.
Plus, the rich can exalt
‘Cause their tax cut demands remain met.
She thought she was losing her sight.
Her vision got blurry at night.
Her fears were erased
When her bulbs were replaced.
She could see! It was purely de-light.
All my life, how I’d hunger and yearn
For a love who would love in return.
Now I offer a course
In avoiding divorce.
‘Cause we teach what we most need to learn.
Some people lie flat on their backs
When taking a nap to relax.
But curling up fetally
Will much more speedily
Conquer my panic attacks.
(A question my mind strives to bridge:-
Is the light off in Schrodinger’s fridge?)
Erwin Schrodinger wakes in the night,
Concerned that his cat is alright.
A new thought, that he’ll bridge
As he then raids his fridge,
Is the state (On AND Off?) of its light.
I never was once teacher’s pet
(Feigned affection) in order to get
Higher marks in her class
By kissing her ass.
It’s something I’ll always regret.
He intended to kiss her that night
By the moon’s bright and silvery light;
But there was an eclipse.
He could not find her lips.
He too, it would seem, wasn’t bright.
Your hands and your feet have grown colder.
For no reason, you can’t move your shoulder.
Your joints are arthritic.
But don’t be a critic.
How lovely to be growing older.
English rhyming)
With no int’rest in stuff I was taught,
My mind turned to learning to rort
My way through my life
With the minimum strife,
But with many a tort I’ve been caught.
“My Tale Of Woe”
I’m a signal that all drivers see.
But that is sure no guarantee
That my bright yellow light
Is real “outta-sight.
Cause no one is mindful of me.
A lovely girl carp known as Joy
Swiftly conquered the heart of each boy
In the fish pond. She’d flirt,
And then treat them like dirt.
It turned out she was just being koi.
Mused one caveman — a sensitive chap —
Before giving his woman a rap,
“I’d take time to conquer
my instinct to bonk her,
But then I’d miss out on my nap.”
DeSantis, to no one’s delight,
Decided to put up a fight
With Micky and friends.
Now he struts and pretends
That wokeness is done for the night.
A wandering prankster named Knight
Loved to cook up a culin’ry fright.
He’d sneak in the capsicum,
Setting hot traps for some,
To his peri-patetic delight.
Good teachers ignite and inspire,
Setting the pupil on fire.
That place in life’s college
And hunger for knowledge
Is a gift that shall never expire.
Life is an anti-climax –
Roll a joint, take a nap and relax.
Conquer your fears
With a few dozen beers,
Do lovely things, avoid tax.
Watching news at night gives me a fright,
Thanks to murder and mayhem and blight,
And the cheery newscaster,
Who dishes disaster,
With a look on his face of delight.
(A small change in L3 of May 30th entry)
Mused one caveman — a sensitive chap —
Before giving his woman a rap,
“I would take time to conquer
my instinct to bonk her,
But then I’d miss out on my nap.”
I’d a lovely and undisturbed nap.
Let me give you a pithy recap:
I dreamed of the sea
And a breathtaking tree.
Then I woke up and thought about crap.
There once was a fellow named Sloan
Who used turpentine for cologne
He tried to ignite
A girl’s Marlboro Light
And was scattered to places unknown.
The rocket invented by Dwight
Can travel much faster than light.
“It takes off for Venus
Next week,” said the genius,
“And will arrive yesterday night.”
There once was a student named Ace
Whose visage was like outer space
His teacher would gripe,
“Hey Ace, would you wipe
That bad simile off your face?!”
1950 Elementary School “Seams”
My teacher back then was Miss Rose.
She had chalk stains all over her clothes.
Those “letters” WHAT STRESS!
Yet I hark back to “S”
From the zig zag in back of her hose.
When I purchased an LED flashlight,
I found it gave out such a brash light,
That I now read in bed,
With candles instead –
And I enjoy Fanny by Gaslight.
[Said my teacher, “In North Carolina
We’re taught British English is finer.
But in England, alas,
Fanny doesn’t mean ass.
It means, I’m afraid, a vagina.”]
Sorry, accidentally re-posted one. It had been “awaiting moderation.”
There once was a teacher named Link
Who taught kids to critically think.
The Florida fools
Fired him from their schools,
Wanting kids to just sit there and blink.
Interviews For Aspiring Teachers: Suggestions From Mr. Mammary
Mr. Mammary highly suggests
That the interviewee takes some tests.
To be sure teachers know
They must be a pro.
And what is the size of their breasts?
At night when the lights are down low
And his lovely wife’s watching a show,
He will say in her ear
“Are you napping my dear?”
Then she’ll always snore twice for a “NO.”
My two year old is very bright,
At a spelling bee he caused delight,
When he spelled “cunctator”
As “PROCRASTINATOR” –
And the quizmaster shouted, “He’s right!”
My mentor at work taught me this:
Never tell the boss something’s amiss.
When he says something dumb,
Shut your mouth and stay mum;
And don’t ever forget what to kiss.
I once got a college degree,
And a teacher I wanted to be.
But every darn kid
Knew more than I did;
And, wisely, I had to agree.
After dining on Buddha’s Delight,
I did meditate all through the night.
Am I such an oaf who
Ate fungi and tofu?
I am humbled now and am contrite.
At a function, attended at night,
You are smitten with love, at first sight.
Give your all, there and then?
Or, think, “No! Not again.
I’ll hold back and decide when it’s light.”?
Having rescued the lovely young maid.
We then – jointly – agreed we’d get laid.
I would fain take a nap –
Derring deeds drain one’s sap –
But the feisty young maiden forbade.
When Nature herself splits up light
The result is a stunning delight
It gives us a rainbow
And sometimes the main bow
Is joined by a second, less bright.
As a healthy, testosterone knight,
It has been my enduring delight
To be errant. Egad!
In a good way, not bad.
(Wink.) I mostly do erring at night.
For a lesson to take it must hurt.
A great deal if we want to convert.
If we don’t feel the pain
We will backslide again,
As our nature’s inclined to revert.
I would write of the joints I have been to —
Taken women and children and men to —
But it’s best not to tax,
My old brain for the facts,
That I shouldn’t be putting my pen to.
When you’ve partied too hard through the night,
Then you wake with a head that’s not right
And your brain, with a jerk,
Screams “Get up! Go to work!
– Wait! – It’s Sunday”, it’s such a delight!
To conquer in battle doth tax
And once done, a knight needs to relax.
Smoke a joint, take a nap,
And if lucky, mayhap,
Suffer lovely young maiden attacks.
At the power plant, newcomer Dwight
Was not very careful or bright;
He shorted the grid,
And, you know, when he did,
It both was and was not a delight.
There once was a man who was white
who claimed he had once seen the light:
“The problem’s not my gun!
It’s the trans having fun
which someone infringes *BANG* right!”
Recommended by our local preacher.
She’s also a Sunday school teacher.
And she’ll accept checks
When you call her for sex.
But Sundays may be hard to reach her.
der Fuhrer
“We will conquer the states in a snap.
And why? Cuz I’m not a nice chap.
Then in a few years
You will cry Nazi tears
When I take my extended dirt nap.”
Then in a few years
You will cry baby tears
When I take an extended dirt nap.”
WHAT HAPPENED? OY!
der Fuhrer
“We will conquer the states in a snap.
And why? Cuz I’m not a nice chap.
Then in a few years,
You will cry Nazi tears
When I take my extended dirt nap.”
The Lincoln Tunnel is one way to get to New York from New Jersey, and vice
versa: “A Stunning New York Attraction”
If you’re taking the “Lincoln” tonight,
At the end, you should make a quick right.
Though those hookers don’t know you,
They are happy to show you:
At the end of the tunnel, there’s light.
There was a nice girl who wore tights,
In them she never went out at nights;
Alas; one night she did,
Her attitude was unfit;
Tearing them while dancing, she gave good sights !
I’m convinced I’ll be proved to be right,
And I won’t ever give up the fight.
Why can’t you see that
The Earth’s really flat?
Just open your eyes! See the light!
I know how you feel as a pappy.
And lately, mom’s rather slaphappy.
Pappy, give her a break.
After all, you helped make
This baby, so go change that nappy.
oops I used only one “random”
It’s taxing when you are a pappy.
And lately, mom’s rather slaphappy.
Pappy, give her a break.
After all, you helped make
The baby, so go change that nappy.
One misogynist’s lot is so fateful,
That whenever he starts to feel grateful,
For a lovely gal’s smile,
He can’t conquer his bile,
Which then stirs up some feelings most hateful.
Bob Dylan Says: “Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right.”
“Wow, smoking a joint’s outta sight.
Come join me; you’ll feel such delight.
You really should try it.
And I will supply it.
So do not think twice, it’s all right.”
A top-heavy teacher from Diggle,
who’s wares would unfailingly jiggle,
ignored every warning
that pupils were fawning
and gave the headmaster a wiggle!
A man who flew faster than light,
Arrived on the previous night.
He then took the life,
Of the man with his wife,
And was dead before starting his flight.
Gee, look at that lovely display.
I’ll buy Sally 2 pairs today.
When she gets the right shoes,
She will never refuse
And be ready to conquer the day.
You know you are old, (it is said)
When you’re napping inside of your bed,
Or that new lovely couch
And they notice your slouch
Most people will think you are dead.
Said a vicar, “I follow Church Teaching;
For the Truth I am always reaching.”
He then asked, “Is it wrong
To twang the wife’s thong?”
And the judge said, “It is when she’s preaching.”
Cried an old Orkney teacher named Stover,
“As a sadist I think I’m in clover.
Perhaps there are laws
On using the tawse,
But they don’t apply here so bend over.”
There’s a saying that quite often features,
In school students’ chats on the bleachers.
It goes: Those who can, – Do,
Those who can’t, – Teach (it’s true),
And those who can’t teach, – teach the teachers.
English “Pissed” (= inebriated).
If you tend to post lims when you’re pissed,
Your subtle wit’s ‘gems’ will be missed.
Your talent, so bright,
Will fail to delight,
Cause no one but you, gets the gist.
Correction Of Rhyming Error From June 8, 12:09 AM
“The way to a girl’s heart”
Gee, look at that lovely array.
Think I’ll buy some to give to “Sweet Kay”
When she gets the right shoes,
She will never refuse.
And be ready to conquer the day.
Close, but not exactly Ella Fitzgerald’s “Sweet and Lovely”
More lovely than roses in May:
That nap was much more than okay.
Now I’ll go back to sleep.
And the same plot I’ll keep.
To see if I get a good lay.
King Charles and his queen they’d anoint.
But where do the deed? That’s the point.
So, they did find a place.
To Westminster they’d race,
Where the Abbey’s a lo-ve-ly joint.
When I doze with a wrap on my lap,
My young pup chews the thing into pap.
With his nose out of joint,
Soggy fluff makes his point:
“I have had quite enough of this nap!”
I will conquer a limerick rhyme!
Perfect diction will end ev’ry line.
Lovely meter will be,
Always synced up syllabically.
I will do it! (but some other time).
Oh, why can’t I find Mr. Right?
(Many husbands, but always a fight)
Relationships sever.
Not a thing lasts forever.
Except for my LED light.
When you get up without any light
There are things that go bump in the night
And the worst, so it’s said
Is the foot of the bed
Which can give any toe a bad bite.
In a bar-room one Saturday night
God lost all his teeth in a fight,
And during CREATION
To His consternation
His voice boomed out, “LET LERE LE LIGHT!”
[Did God have teeth? We are made in His image …]
It wasn’t an uplifting night.
He tried stiffly with all of his might.
The problem was cause
He didn’t take pause
To notice his “check engine” light.
The Chadwick’s were nice to invite
Us, yet I became impolite.
All they served were some drinks,
And I hollered, “That stinks!
We expected much more and ate light.”
The instructor said, “Indicate right.”
I turned left. (You’ve discerned I’m not bright.)
For my second mistake,
I drove into the lake – –
They’re just keeping him in overnight.
The instructor said, “Indicate right.”
I turned left. (You’ve discerned I’m not bright.)
For my second mistake,
I drove into the lake – –
They’re just keeping him in overnight.
“Just explain how to do it”, she begs,
“And I’ll swallow it all to the dregs.”
“Grasp with fingers and thumbs,
Then suck hard till it comes …”
I had taught my old Gran to suck eggs.
The Guilt Trip Dialogue
“Come quickly, dear, please fix my light.
The darkness sure gives me a fright.”
“Mom, I’ve got a concussion.
To the E.R. I’m rush’in”
“That’s okay, son, I’ll fall down all night.”
I made a rhyming error on June 10, at 11:33 PM.
I just caught it. Here is my “fix”
The Chadwick’s were nice to invite
Us, though we got into a fight.
All they served were some drinks.
So I hollered, “This stinks!
We expected much more and ate light.”
Waddya think Dr. Turvey?
God in heaven’s as vain as can be.
“I’m the fairest of all”, so says He.
Well, He does look all right
By the new moon’s dim light.
He was made in our image, you see.
“If God has made us in his image, we have returned him the favor.”
— Voltaire
In 1969, I taught 5th. grade for one year. One year was enough. (true)
“New Jersey Education”
If you want to teach 5th. grade, beware
You’ll repeatedly say this, I swear:
“Your hands don’t belong
In your pants, it’s just wrong.
And girls, please stop twirling your hair.”
Long ago, some great scholars would fight
Over differing theories of light.
But none could surmise
Quantum theory’s surprise:
Neither Newton nor Huygens was right.
LOVELY, CONQUER — A scene from a horror movie
The lovely maid knew what he meant.
His eyes showed his evil intent.
He wouldn’t just conquer.
He’d ravish and bonk her
Until his desire was spent.
In the future, will teachers instruct
That Congress should never have ducked
And declared, “We acquit,
Though we know Trump’s a sh*t”?
Now our nation’s security’s f*cked.
Said a fellow who wasn’t too bright
As he drunkenly dumped on Bud Light:
“Bud’s supporting a trans?
I’ma shoot up some cans!”
That’s what passes for “thought” on the right.
When a rose bud unfurls in the light
It is a most beautiful sight
But the roses I’ve got
Have aphids (a lot),
Deadwood, loads of thorns and the blight.
To teach kids the whole sexual map,
Printed works outperform a good app..
If boys’ parts need a look
We’ve a large Pop-Up Book;
Girls’ bits have a small Lift-the-Flap.
Always wrong but his name is B. Wright.
She’s unpleasant but goes by D. Light.
An ill-fitting name
Is always a shame.
Ask my friend with no teeth, Pearl E. White!
When bad news continues to tax,
We need to know how to relax.
Try napping or play;
Although some spend their day
Immersed in alternative facts.
Teachers
I was hoping to get frisky kicks.
Or maybe a few juicy licks.
But he was of age,
And despite all my rage,
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
New Pronoun
I was hoping to get frisky kicks.
Or maybe a few juicy licks.
But he was of age,
And despite all my rage
I could not teach this old dog new tricks.
I find offices better for napping
Than are theaters with people unwrapping
Some old cellophane treat,
Or else tapping their feet.
Plus, at joints we call work no one’s clapping.
Mad, please delete June 15 7.25pm. I’ll re-post. Thanks.
*******
done
My sleeping position at night?
The result of long 3-way fight
‘tween my pillow and sheet
And sore neck, till I’m beat.
Then repeating, – without the damn’ light.
It is futile to put up a fight
In defence of dumb crimes none too bright.
So reflect in the dark
When you scratch your first mark
As the jail warden turns off delight.
When if France, as I am now and then,
I enjoy crusty pain quotidien
With Mayonnaise Light
And Velveeta that’s white.*
With a Sauvignon Blanc 2010.
*(marketed as Velveeta Queso Blanco)
“What Story Did The Teacher Read To You Today?”
“In pre-school today, after juice,
We heard, “Thidwick The Good-Hearted Moose.”
“The bugs on his head
Thought his head was a bed.
It was writted by The Arthur Seuss.”
Your Commandments, Seigneur, there are ten.
We obey un or deux now and then.
Yet I ask s’il vous plait,
Won’t you teach us to pray?
And give us our pain quotidien?
Correction of typo in line 1 (June 17, 12:14 am)
When in France, as I am now and then,
I enjoy crusty pain quotidien
With Mayonnaise Light
And Velveeta that’s white.*
With a Sauvignon Blanc 2010.
*(marketed as Velveeta Queso Blanco)
I think “Sex Ed” in school is real nice.
All the kids get instructive advice.
I am one of a twin,
So it isn’t a sin.
Cause my mom and dad did it just twice.
Our pot business prospered and grew,
But at tax time we hadn’t a clue.
Would we pay a steep price?
Then we got this advice:
A joint filing was what we should do.
A do-nothing fellow named Sap,
Found it even too taxing to nap.
Folks were wrong to deduce,
He could be of no use,
Foe his cat made him into a lap.
At Fort Sumter they partied all night.
And then, at the dawn’s early light
They just didn’t care,
That their flag wasn’t there.
A hangover’s all they would fight.
Acrostic Limerick spelling LIGHT with first letter:
Look at me and you’ll see that I’m light.
I’m as light as a feather and might
Get airborne with ease.
Head off in the breeze.
Then get stuck in a tree like a kite!
In his heyday, in order to conquer
His dream girl, he’d drive by and honk ‘er.
But now they’re both old,
(If the real truth be told)
He would rather a nap than to bonk ‘er.
Although it is not very bright,
We still can see light in the night.
The moon always reflects it.
From the sun, which deflects it.
Now that’s a hot fact about light.
Or To Put It Another Way
Although it is not very bright,
We still can see light in the night.
The moon always reflects it
From the sun which affects it.
Now that’s a hot fact about light.
Plants turn light from the sun into food.
This process is never eschewed.
They sure need that light,
Or they might get the “blight”
Which would put them in quite a bad mood.
(photosynthesis)
She was lovely, a truly good looker.
To your place for some loving you took her.
But she first took a nap.
Then she gave you the clap.
That’s price you pay dating a hooker.
Your affairs, you say, are just ethereal.
So, my comments you’ll think immaterial.
Let me teach you some facts.
Outré sexual acts
Could bring you diseases venereal.
Some regard bawdy lim’ricks as trite,
And prefer Lim’rick Lite as their rite.
While some others, imbued
with a bent to be crude,
Tend to use words like ‘shite’ with delight.
At the end of meditation, you’ll see
a path that is brighter e’en though your a first nighter
can come to the LIGHT
in case you’re not BRIGHT.
Enlightenment is just a tool, as a rule
Enlightenment is really just a tool
Meditation and mantra is useful,
If in your bucket,
you’ll sure get a snoot full.
Transcendence is plainly good for the brain
and crosses the losses
of the dark night of the soul
Don’t stop you’re on a roll’s delight.
It helps you cross into the LIGHT!
In Sight
It’s sure enough nothing to fight!
Richard Spisak – gosh are you alright?
Have you any idea what is LIGHT?
Your verse is just crazy
The logic is hazy
You just can’t write a limerick right.
Ol’ Tadd Dameron’s tune, Our Delight,
Set the jazz world on fire every night.
Slick by Bird, Fats or Diz;
Through the changes they’d whiz.
But it gave novice blowers a fright!
Teacher Theme
My line of work: Nothing was dumber!
From September to June: What a bummer!
As a pedagogue, I
Always prayed I could die.
Then rise from the dead in the summer.
My joint used to slip and then rip.
I must say I could not get a grip.
But now my new gait
Isn’t crooked; it’s straight.
I’ve a lovely titanium hip.
Attention All Limerick-Off Procrastinators: The current Limerick-Off ends this Saturday, at 4 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.
“Tucker”
Mr. Carlson seems rather unstable.
His judgments are more like a fable.
He belongs in the joint.
For making his point.
In an effort to conquering cable.
The dragon beseeched the brave knight:
“Would you help me, kind sir, in my plight?
The fire’s gone out
at the end of my snout.
Could you possibly give me a light?”
I wanted to serve something light
So I made some fish tacos last night.
But it didn’t work out
Those ungrateful trout
Swam off without even a bite!
“Patient In Crisis Speaks”
“Oh, doctor I can’t take the strain.
It’s so taxing, it’s causing me pain.
I can’t conquer the fear
That the devil is near
And yank out my limerick brain.”
It’s only 2 words, but it’s killing me. Maybe I’m that patient LOL !
Oh doctor, I can’t take the strain.
It’s so taxing, it’s causing me pain.
I can’t conquer the fear
That the devil is here
To yank out my limerick brain.”
Many yarns for the Sultan she spun.
A certified thousand and one.
She’d weave stories all night
‘Til the dawn’s early light.
That was work and it wasn’t much fun.
She pursued and eventually caught him.
It took a full day, but she taught him
All the ways to delight.
For the final that night,
His exam was complete, top to bottom.
Another typo. Line 5 corrected. 6/21 1:41 am
She was lovely, a truly good looker.
To your place for some loving you took her.
But she first took a nap.
Then she gave you the clap.
That’s the price you pay dating a hooker.
Delight and Teachers
I teach Junior High. What a delight.
I’m always composed, not uptight.
I am so analytical
Thus, remember it’s critical
To ingurgitate choc’late each night.
In my youth, life was fun as could be,
But the years have made changes in me.
Now my greatest delight
Would be sleeping all night
With no need to get up for a pee.
A limerick mentioning light
Is a thing I am sure I could write.
I’ve got plenty of time
To come up with a rhyme.
Now just when is that deadline? Oh shite!
Thanks so much everyone for another fun Limerick-Off, which is officially over. And the winner is…
Limerick-Off Award 510. Congratulations to the winners!
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Drink.