Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: JUST or UNJUST or ADJUST at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: April 29, 2023)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using JUST or UNJUST or ADJUST at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COURTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COURT-related limerick.

And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.

Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
PLANT, HOBBIES, LEARN, LIKEABLE, WARN.

(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on April 30, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 29, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my JUST or UNJUST or ADJUST-Rhyme Limerick:

“Adulting” requires hard work;
The mundane kind we’re tempted to shirk.
But do it, we must!
So I try to adjust
And pretend I don’t feel like a clerk.

And here’s my COURT-Themed Limerick, a 2-Verser:

A big gun at a law firm brought suit.
He was gunning for those who pollute.
But his target, alas,
Had a limitless mass
Of moolah to fight the dispute.

That’s not all that his target possessed;
It had friends in the courts and was blessed
With political cronies,
Republican phonies
Who impeded his actions with zest.

And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:

I should take up some hobby this week
To ensure my brain works at its peak.
Learning Greek is too hard!
Planting chard in my yard?
No, my marred mind needs more than a tweak.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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125 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: JUST or UNJUST or ADJUST at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: April 29, 2023)”

  1. Bindy Bitterman says:

    My brain seems to threaten to rust
    Which –don’t you agree? seems unjust?
    I can write like a Trojan
    Or some theologian
    Not a hair on my head getting mussed!

  2. Terry Marter says:

    The hooker had such a huge bust
    That her bra straps were hard to adjust.
    Boobs suddenly out;
    Killed the client, – one clout!
    Twas his first try at sex, and his lust!

  3. Sharon Neeman says:

    She pulled and she tugged and she fussed
    And made efforts her blouse to adjust,
    But the gap in her top
    Caught the eye of a cop,
    So her cleavage led right to her bust.

  4. Bob Turvey says:

    Said a Judge, “This case rests on a tort;
    Those tennis club shares that you’ve bought
    Are known as debentures –
    They’re risky adventures –
    In court, and on court, you’ve been caught.”

  5. Terry Marter says:

    My likeable aunt’s won a grant
    To study some rare types of plant.
    They reach for the sky
    But they’re not ALL that’s high.
    She claims they’re Hibiscus. They aren’t!

  6. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Many times, writing lim’ricks, I’ve fussed,
    Over one simple word I distrust.
    When a line needs some fluffing,
    I’ll use it as stuffing.
    Is this only a little cheat? Just.

  7. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Aussie Law”

    Lawyer Wallaby read the report,
    And affirmed that ” This suit we must thwart.
    Though the numbats maintain
    That some termites are vain,
    Is a case for a Kangaroo Court.”

  8. Lisi Nortman says:

    Stormy Daniels, so sexy and lush
    Made Donald Trump instantly gush.
    And though he’s been warned,
    That he constantly scorned.
    He’ll continue his hobby. (hush hush)

    (random words and court)

  9. Lisi Nortman says:

    Correction of Above Limerick

    Stormy Daniels, so sexy and lush
    Made Donald Trump instantly gush.
    And though he’s been warned
    That he’s constantly scorned,
    He’ll continue his hobby of “Hush”

  10. There once was a man most unjust
    who learned he might have to adjust
    by wearing a suit
    the color of fruit,
    which, though matching his hair, was a bust!

  11. Jeanine Silverio says:

    Strangers staring with outright disgust
    As I dig up my skirt to adjust
    What the hell is so wrong
    With me fixing my thong?
    It’s not like I’m eating the crust!

  12. Dave Johnson says:

    (With a nod to Sjaan’s post above)

    This limerick writer was thrust
    Into panic by not using “just”.
    Unable to fill
    Is a test of my skill;
    Perhaps I can sneak in a “yust”.

  13. Tim James says:

    A baker tried hard to adjust
    When his shop was about to go bust.
    Just a smidgen of “herb”
    Made his products superb.
    Now he’s part of the town’s upper crust.

  14. Rudy Landesman says:

    Steven Sondheim did have all the goods
    In his musical “Into the Woods”.
    It’s a likable play,
    But be warned anyway.
    It takes you to Grimm neighborhoods.

  15. Rudy Landesman says:

    There’s a hobby that I’d like to learn,
    Writing odes on an old Grecian urn
    Like the poet, John Keats;
    Who, despite all his feats,
    Wrote no lim’ricks. And that’s a concern.

  16. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    I hope Trump isn’t limo’d, but bussed
    Off to prison –not handcuffed, but trussed.
    And when he complains
    The Court will take pains
    To give him more time to adjust.

  17. Lisi Nortman says:

    “The Affair”

    I must have some time to adjust
    My kanzashis so “hub” won’t mistrust
    Me. Then I’ll go home
    But I must use my comb.
    In order to re-do my pussed.

  18. Sharon Neeman says:

    All week I interpret in court,
    Which, believe me, is work and not sport —
    But I’ll take my (slim) check
    To the bakery. Heck!
    Not just perps can enjoy a good tort(e)!

  19. Doug Harris says:

    The wrestler, he don’t give a damn
    Now he’s entered the tennis program.
    And his big forearm smash
    It ain’t much ‘Arthur Ashe’;
    He’s in court for a diff’rent Grand Slam!

  20. Doug Harris says:

    Modern life, how it leaves me nonplussed;
    All we see and receive we mis-trust.
    With phishing illusions
    And spammy intrusions,
    We believe once we’ve checked and then just.

  21. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    A pretentious young fellow named Bobby,
    Claimed he looked up big words as a hobby.
    “I don’t like learning words,”
    He revealed, “it’s for nerds.
    But I really do love sounding snobby.”

  22. Bob Turvey says:

    As a child I knew that I could trust
    Kipling’s stories – he had got life sussed.
    The good animals won –
    The bad ones were undone –
    Kipling’s stories were simply So Just.

  23. Dave Johnson says:

    Most often. our levels of trust
    Are solid – no need to adjust.
    But fans of Fox News
    Have an option to choose:
    Be lied to or quit in disgust.

  24. Lisi Nortman says:

    A little different than the limerick from April 3rd. 5:34 PM, but the same idea

    “The Affair”

    Darling, give me some time to adjust
    My kanzashis so “hub’ won’t mistrust
    Me. Then I’ll go home
    But I must use my comb.
    So he won’t see my hairdo was mussed.

  25. Courts: (Needn’t be rhyme word)

    Yee-ha! Trump will be there at last
    I’m exhilarated! Some are aghast.
    Since the courts clearly aint
    Designed for some saint
    Will this sinner pay fines for his past?
    or
    Fingers crossed he’ll pay fines for his past!

    When from Ruth Bader Ginsburg we were torn
    Not only the courts were to mourn
    The creme de la creme
    Of a wide world of femmes
    Left a void —we were clearly forlorn!

  26. Lisi Nortman says:

    Ballooning is one freaking kicker.
    This hobby necessitates liquor.
    Here’s a warning: don’t do it.
    Simply, tell yourself, “Screw it.”
    Your obit might say, “Death By Wicker.”

  27. Mary McGarvey says:

    “Everything Under Heaven is Just”:
    The Chinatown Gate’s Motto must
    Be correctly construed
    As: (not to be rude):
    “Inequity is a Hell Most Unjust”.

  28. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Court”

    My father was never composed.
    And also was firmly opposed
    To any dispute
    When the subject was moot.
    He ended each row with “CASE CLOSED.”

  29. Bob Turvey says:

    My best friend has got a huge bust
    And in order to earn a small crust
    Goes out without bra
    Chats to men in a bar
    And her clothing pretends to adjust.

  30. Inner Child :

    They think we all have an inner child
    Sometimes that child is harsh , sometimes mild
    Difficult to think of it
    As the clue is just a bit
    Because while sexing, that child gets wild .

  31. David Friedman says:

    A judge lacking reason and grace,
    Who hates your religion or race,
    Who isn’t too smart,
    Has no mercy or heart,
    Is usually the one who you’ll face.

  32. David Friedman says:

    On the sill, a minute mote of dust
    Relaxed in the sun, as dust must,
    When a Pledge-supplied husband
    Sent the mote to the dust bin,
    Which seems most immensely unjust.

  33. Dave Johnson says:

    Though some claim the charges are hokey,
    The D.A. might shoot for the pokey.
    If T-Rump’s confined,
    Let us hope he’s assigned
    A cell that is furnished with no key.

  34. Jean E McEwen says:

    Several courts now are busy as bees,
    Working hard to bring Trump to his knees.
    An orange jumpsuit may seem
    An unreachable dream.
    Still, I cling to my wish. Pretty please?

  35. Jean E McEwen says:

    If there’s one thing that gals find unjust,
    It’s when guys, in the grip of their lust,
    Think they’ve God-given passes
    To grab tits and asses.
    In a just world, they’d all bite the dust.

  36. Jean E McEwen says:

    “Find a passion or goal to aspire
    To – and do it before you retire!
    Find a hobby, or rot!”
    That’s the warning Joe got.
    But sky diving made Joe expire.

  37. David Friedman says:

    The stoner was hauled into court
    For a personal injury tort:
    He broke someone’s spine
    As the median line
    He leaned out the car door to snort.

  38. David Friedman says:

    A likeable fellow named Bobby
    Has a rather remarkable hobby:
    He’ll smoke a dried plant
    ‘Til he’s somnambulant,
    Citing warnings writ by Hamurabi.

  39. Terry Marter says:

    Trump thinks that his treatment’s unjust
    But formal arraignment’s a must.
    He can’t hush-up the Fed.
    Stormy times are ahead
    It’s the law’s turn to go for the bust.

  40. Rudy Landesman says:

    For inflation we have to adjust.
    Ignore it and we could go bust.
    But each dollar bill
    (The government’s shill)
    Suggests that in God we should trust.

  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    Beware Of Kinky Internet Dating Sites

    “He was likable, said he loves plants.
    A hobby he picked up in Hants.
    And when they get bugs,
    He gives them some hugs.
    And loves matzo balls covered with ants.”

  42. Bob Turvey says:

    Macron is a guy I don’t trust;
    His reforms fill French folk with disgust.
    The age of State Pension
    He raised, causing tension.
    “Imbécile” is, I think, le mot juste.

  43. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Rose and Fern yearned to learn how to dance,
    Yet they sat by the wall in a trance.
    Said their mother, upset,
    “Well, that’s what we get,
    For naming our kids after plants.”

  44. Lisi Nortman says:

    We courted in 1903.
    I loved her and knew she loved me.
    In 1904
    I wanted much more,
    So she finally showed me her knee.

  45. Steven Dufour says:

    You want the world to be just.
    And you’re sincere, I trust.
    But that needs to be
    Applied equally.
    If it’s to be justice it must.

  46. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    In his yard, up on blocks, growing rust,
    Sits a car Otto needs to “adjust.”
    He’s replacing each part,
    Knowing well it won’t start,
    ‘Cause he likes a machine he can trust.

  47. Tim James says:

    A Movie Synopsis

    There are 12 Angry Men on the jury,
    Each one of them seething in fury.
    You’ll be Fonda this flick!
    Though it doesn’t move quick,
    They all do the right thing, so don’t worry.

  48. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    “Missing church on Good Friday’s a sin,”
    Said Joe’s mother to pique his chagrin.
    He had planted his head
    Under blankets in bed.
    “I’m like Jesus,” he said. “Sleeping in.”

  49. David Friedman says:

    “Gross income,” I’ll slyly adjust,
    Said Weisselberg, and then he cussed,
    “So why’d I believe,
    And was so damn naive,
    To think Donald Trump I could trust?

  50. Only Expel Two (Limerick Poem)

    Tennessee students demand gun control as a must.
    Three democratic lawmakers join the protest so robust.
    GOP law makers only expel two.
    Their dark skin meant they were through.
    And that is just extremely unjust.

  51. Terry Marter says:

    My hobby, which no one has seen,
    Is “Indoor” plants (know what I mean?)
    Bees buzz in quite keenly
    Then glide out serenely
    With NFI where they’ve just been.

  52. Lisi Nortman says:

    The words in quotations are ACTUALLY the ones on my hair blower.

    Pay attention, and please be aware.
    Read warnings, and learn to take care.
    “Don’t use dryer while sleeping”
    You’ll likely be weeping.
    When you wake up while drying your hair.

  53. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Courtship

    Her first husband wooed her for sport;
    The second one kept passion short.
    The third knew his place.
    He cut to the chase,
    And took her directly to court.

  54. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Henry, darling will you please adjust
    The volume, it’s late so I must
    Listen right through the wall
    To hear Gail and Paul.
    I need some vicarious lust.”

  55. Lisi Nortman says:

    Have you seen these weird “juries of peers?”
    They sure can bring out all your fears.
    Court’s a great place to hide,
    And a home to provide
    All the lowlifes in real deep arrears.

  56. David Friedman says:

    Donald Trump lying in court
    Will not be of any import:
    His hand on the Bible,
    He’ll still be not liable,
    His hand being too goddam short.

  57. Rudy Landesman says:

    I do feel that I should tell you why,
    I’m not really a likable guy.
    I ignore all advice
    And won’t learn to be nice.
    Don’t you dare even say I should try!

  58. David Friedman says:

    In court, while the judge disagreed,
    Maxwell was not going to plead;
    His silvery hammer
    He’d kept in the slammer
    Went “bang bang” and made the judge bleed.

  59. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    At “Safe Haven” Maude learned to be mellow,
    Till she met a new, likeable fellow.
    Then — good heavens above —
    She went crazy for love!
    Now she’s saving him half of her jello.

  60. Terry Marter says:

    Our hobby is cycling, it’s likeable,
    Along scenic routes that are bikeable.
    Any talk of a run,
    Would (for us) be no fun, –
    And don’t even THINK about hikeable.

  61. Lisi Nortman says:

    This is a true story. It occurred in 1990.

    He never heard anything dumber.
    The answer was surely a bummer.
    Now here is the question:
    “Sir, what’s your profession?”
    John Gotti said, “I am a plumber.”

    ( Armani suit, Lincoln Town car: Sounds like a plumber to ME:)

  62. Lisi Nortman says:

    Above Limerick : REALLY True With A Rhyming Error :) “1990”

    The Judge never heard something dumber.
    The answer was surely a bummer.
    “Sir what’s you career?”
    His answer was clear.
    John Gotti said, “I am a plumber.”

    (At the time, I found this to be very comical, because Gotti was wearing an
    Armani suit and driving a very expensive car. Sounded like a plumber to ME!
    LOL)

  63. Lisi Nortman says:

    Correction Of Limerick from April 5, at 1:21 AM “Court”

    At home we were all predisposed
    To listen to dad who opposed
    Any foolish dispute
    When the subject was moot.
    Pop stopped ev’ry brawl with “CASE CLOSED”

  64. Terry Marter says:

    Stormy Daniels, I dare say, enjoyed
    Arraigny day lately deployed.
    – Wants to see Trump in court
    With her ‘whether'(!?) report, –
    A cold front he’d (now!) rather avoid.

  65. Tim James says:

    There’s a spy at the greenhouse named Grant.
    He’s a likeable guy, but he can’t
    Learn the diff’rence between
    A sweet pea and a bean.
    He’s a ringer. You might say a “plant.”

  66. Terry Marter says:

    (Randoms & Rhyme)
    Way back in the dark days of yore
    Their hobbies were feuding and war.
    If their cause was unjust
    They really weren’t fussed,
    ‘Cause they relished the blood-lust and gore.

  67. Tony Holmes says:

    “When upbraided by Miss, in disgust,
    Little boys are left feeling nonplussed.
    Did this teacher not purr
    When Sir did it to her?
    And the girls liked it too. She’s unjust!”

    “It’s been many long months I’ve been trussed,
    And my wife’s done her best to adjust.
    She’s been patient and kind –
    Even said she don’t mind –
    But I’ve seen her eyes gleaming with lust.”

  68. Tim James says:

    “At the courthouse I saw lots of guys,
    Big and strong, and with tears in their eyes,
    Saying, ‘Sir, it’s unfair….'”
    Wow, I can’t recall where
    I’ve heard whoppers of similar size.

  69. Rudy Landesman says:

    On Wimbledon’s courts, one recalls,
    There have been occasional brawls.
    The fans make a racket,
    And you have to hack it.
    To play there, ya gotta have balls.

  70. Lisi Nortman says:

    Remember This Commercial?

    Michael Jordan claimed he won’t resume
    His hooping, which triggered much gloom.
    Although great on the court
    In this fast-moving sport,
    I prefer him in Fruit Of The Loom.

  71. Lisi Nortman says:

    A very light aircraft I found.
    Then steered it and finally drowned.
    Now I’m dead and I’ve learned
    That I should have discerned
    To plant my damn feet on the ground.

  72. Terry Marter says:

    A wannabe porn-star in lust,
    On his first gig was suddenly thrust
    In the spotlight (so glamorous)
    To be polyamorous.
    He didn’t take long to adjust!

  73. Terry Marter says:

    We’ll see Trump in court in a while
    He’ll likely still be in denial.
    When the fall of the hammer
    Puts him straight in the slammer
    He can tell the walls ’bout his fake trial.

  74. Unsal Ozunlu says:

    Gust:

    There once was certain man named Gust,
    Who always thought a dog was a must ;
    Once while walking him out,
    They got soaked throughout;
    So, he thought his decision was not just .

  75. Dave Johnson says:

    “Not guilty Your Honer” he said
    When each of the charges were read.
    His case went to trial;
    Now there’s reason to smile:
    No blue suits – just orange instead.

  76. Rudy Landesman says:

    When fencing, quick hands are a must.
    To compete you must parry and thrust.
    But your bout you might botch,
    If an itch in your crotch
    Makes you reach for a jockstrap adjust.

  77. Lisi Nortman says:

    “And A Crappy Time Was Had For One And All”

    I remember this time and again:
    There were twelve of us, (women and men.)
    We jurors then learned
    And most clearly discerned
    What it felt like to be in the pen.

  78. Lisi Nortman says:

    This process is making me moody.
    Hello again, Real Smelly Trudy!
    Now how many times
    Can I vote about crimes?
    Here I sit in my third jury doody.

  79. Lisi Nortman says:

    Stupid vs. Stupid “Domestic Abuse” (The Accused)

    “Judge Jones, I am very unstable.
    And therefore, I just wasn’t able
    To injure his pair.
    So I tired a small chair.
    Didn’t work, cause I needed a table.”

  80. Sue Dulley says:

    My taxes are filed, only just!
    They’ve been mailed and I now have to trust
    They’ll be judged as correct
    And no one will suspect
    That I minussed when I should have plussed.

  81. Sue Dulley says:

    If you play New York Times Spelling Bee
    As a hobby, this warning from me
    Tells you ‘lik(e)able’ may
    Be spelled more than one way,
    Either with or without that first E.

  82. Terry Marter says:

    In my gorge’us epergne I’ve a fern
    That I study, it helps me to learn
    How to write about plants
    Using rhymes that aren’t slants.
    From that angle I’ve anxious concern.

  83. Kay Salady says:

    One thing in this world that’s unjust
    And I very hard to adjust
    Whilst wearing a bra
    With the very big flaw
    Of a wire that digs into my bust

  84. Brian Allgar says:

    I may need some time to adjust;
    My target was “Seven or bust” –
    For one week, I would sin,
    Giiving each one a spin,
    But I still haven’t got beyond Lust.

  85. Brian Allgar says:

    From the scam run by Brett and his mates,
    I have learnt what the name indicates:
    All those judgements they wrote us
    Make clear the term SCOTUS
    Means “SCum Of The United States”.

  86. Brian Allgar says:

    The enforcer is sent to warn those
    Who’ve displeased the Big Boss. When he goes
    Around doing his job, he
    Indulges his hobby –
    Collecting their fingers and toes.

  87. Tony Holmes says:

    Growing older, a man must adjust,
    As he suffers less often from musth.
    Mother Nature is kind,
    Fills the void in his mind
    With concerns that his bladder’s gone bust.

  88. Rudy Landesman says:

    McConnell, McCarthy and I
    Believe in the MAGA Big Lie.
    It is seldom discussed,
    But stupidity’s just
    As American as apple pie.

  89. Tim James says:

    Ruled the dim-witted judge from the bench:
    “Mifepristone, when downed by a wench,
    Keeps the babies at bay.
    That’s a sin. Here’s the way:
    Place the pill ‘tween your knees, and then clench.”

  90. Fred Bortz says:

    To defend dereliction of duty,
    The President sure picked a beauty
    Of a lawyer (unjust)
    Who complained, fumed, and fussed:
    That corrupted ex-Mayor known as Rudy.

  91. Fred Bortz says:

    A bit of twisted history:

    Long ago in the Royal French Court
    Lived a ruler (I’m sad to report)
    Who, though having great strength,
    Was deficient in length,
    So his Queen called him Pepin the Short.

  92. Fred Bortz says:

    Hobbies can range from dramatics
    To philately or numismatics.
    But when yearning for learning
    Is no longer burning,
    Collections end up in folks’ attics.

  93. Fred Bortz says:

    Correction:

    To defend dereliction of duty,
    The President sure picked a beauty
    Of a lawyer (unjust)
    Who complained, fumed, and fussed:
    That corrupted ex-Mayor called Rudy.

  94. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    When I bought some omnivorous plants,
    I was warned I was taking a chance.
    A guy who was wise,
    Said, “Sure, they eat flies,
    But they always barf up all the pants.”

  95. Lisi Nortman says:

    There are many versions of the ending of “Little Red Riding Hood.”
    Here is a sad one, which fits nicely in a limerick :)

    The wolf had such likable charm,
    So how could he cause any harm?
    Mom warned of the dangers
    Of talking to strangers.
    Red Riding bought the whole farm.

  96. Lisi Nortman says:

    A Bubbameister

    I remember to this very day
    A warning that Mama would say:
    “Though a likable chap,
    Don’t sit on a boy’s lap
    Or you’ll be in a fam-i-ly way.

  97. Tony Holmes says:

    Spare a thought for the chap on the wane,
    Whose one thought is, “I’ll never again …”
    He is forced to adjust,
    As his parts start to rust,
    And – increasingly – opts to abstain.

  98. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Mad, thanks for sharing the Michael Croland interview on the subject
    of limerick acrostics. Your skillfulness in this form makes it look easy.
    Hah! In the spirit of equal opportunity, here’s one from me that makes
    it look difficult.

    Hang gliding…now how should I view it?
    Ought not an old lady eschew it?
    Better not learn to fly?
    But I SO qualify —
    You have to be crazy to do it.

    ************
    From Mad Kane: LOL! And thanks! I’m so glad you enjoyed Croland’s interview of me about acrostic limericks. As I emphasized, I find them very hard to do. But when successful, they are very satisfying.

  99. Dave Johnson says:

    We’re losing our viewers – we must
    Find something to fix or adjust.
    Perhaps they’ll return
    If we ramp up the churn
    Of lies that can win back their trust.

  100. Tim James says:

    We are dust, Scripture says, and to dust
    We’ll return. It seems rather unjust:
    With that apple Eve plucked,
    Her descendants were f#%*ed.
    But the upside is: now we have lust!

  101. Terry Marter says:

    If ya old, and live here in Oztrailya
    A plant hobby’s good, – it won’t ail ya.
    Ya can’t kick or bat,
    But ya must wear a hat
    Coz the weather will burn ya then hail ya.

  102. Lisi Nortman says:

    Correction from April 15th 4:15 PM

    A very light aircraft I found.
    Then steered it, and finally drowned.
    Now I’m dead, and I’ve learned
    That I should have discerned
    To plant my two feet on the ground.

  103. Rudy Landesman says:

    Need a hobby that’s easy to learn?
    But you haven’t got money to burn?
    Write lim’ricks. They’re fun.
    End each with a pun,
    And plaudits you’re likely to earn.

  104. Norman Darlington says:

    Accepting my old age is just
    very hard to accept, though I must,
    for, like it or not,
    fairly soon I will rot
    and my bones will be nothing but dust.

  105. Norman Darlington says:

    There’s a whole lot of talk around court
    of a woman’s right to abort
    Though you’ll think me uncool
    I disagree with the rule
    that lets you cut a fetus’ life short

  106. Lisi Nortman says:

    Crafting

    My wife’s hobby is going to malls
    Seeking crafts that will match with our walls.
    To this day, I’ve not learned
    Or even discerned
    Why we’re living with “decorative balls.”

  107. Lisi Nortman says:

    My wife’s hobby I surely don’t share.
    She fusses with plants, and I swear
    When she asks, “What’s your view?”
    Each time I say, “Sue
    For the one millionth time, I Don’t Care.”

  108. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Of the Sins known as Deadly there’s just
    Only one that I feel I can trust.
    Those six other “killers”
    (included as fillers),
    Are a few different ways to spell “lust.”

  109. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    The Woodengait Scandal?

    I was two when I learned that a horse
    Could be banged on and beaten with force.
    But that was the last time
    I tried out this pastime.
    (It was only a hobby, of course).

  110. Rudy Landesman says:

    There’s just no accounting for taste,
    And debating it would be a waste.
    Critics do what they must;
    Though they’re often unjust,
    Making point-blank decisions in haste.

  111. Lisi Nortman says:

    I saw in Doc’s “Warning! Gross Section”
    A box labeled “Fecal Collection”
    When I learned ’bout his hobby,
    I ran back to the lobby,
    In fear of a shitty infection.

  112. Mark Totterdell says:

    The wife of a man from St Just
    Had a truly spectacular bust,
    Which she’d swing at his head
    As they frolicked in bed
    Till it rendered him badly concussed.

  113. Terry Marter says:

    If your hobby is plants, l can mail ya
    Some dalia, they’re red and won’t fail ya.
    I’ve still yet to learn
    The best way to send fern.
    And those roses? Well they’ll just impale ya.

  114. madkane says:

    Attention All Limerick-Off Procrastinators: The current Limerick-Off ends this coming Saturday, April 29, at 4 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.

  115. Terry Marter says:

    My new AI sex bot has bust!
    It just KNEW I was up for some lust.
    I had almost reached heaven
    Thinking “Dial-up Eleven”
    When she warned “Do not further adjust”.

  116. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Wimbledon”

    You’ll hear lots of noise when one’s hunting.
    And baseball is known for confronting.
    On the tennis court though,
    All the voices get low
    In order to hear all that grunting.

  117. Mike Young says:

    JUST, UNJUST, ADJUST
    Mad Kane is just glad that it’s known
    That she isn’t seen throwing a stone.
    She’s had to adjust
    To accusations unjust
    And she’s learnt that it’s not worth a moan!

    COURT
    Such untruths might cut her life short
    She could even end up in court
    She’d try bribing a judge
    With chocolate fudge
    And hope to avoid a retort.

    PLANT, HOBBIES, LEARN, LIKEABLE, WARN
    She thinks she has hobbies to plant
    But we warn her to know that she can’t.
    She simply must learn
    To take the right turn
    So we all may sincere thanks grant.

  118. Mike Young says:

    FIRST OF TWO OFFERINGS SHOULD BE DELETED BECAUSE IT IS INCOMPLETE.. SORRY!!!

  119. Rudy Landesman says:

    Acrostic (learn and warn)

    Let’s admit, I’m a dumb ding-a-ling.
    Education’s not really my thing.
    And you’re warning me to
    Read a book? That won’t do.
    No way! To complacence I’ll cling.

  120. Rudy Landesman says:

    Minor alteration in line 5

    Acrostic (learn and warn)

    Let’s admit, I’m a dumb ding-a-ling.
    Education’s not really my thing.
    And you’re warning me to
    Read a book? That won’t do.
    Not for me. To complacence I’ll cling.

  121. Lisi Nortman says:

    Pickle Ball : A game resembling tennis in which players use paddles and
    perforated balls like whiffle balls.

    I know a real good-looking fellow.
    Who plays pickle ball, name’s Gherkin Bellow.
    This game’s played on a court.
    I do not like this sport.
    Cause ad nauseam, Gherk’s balls are yellow.

  122. Charles Simmons says:

    The fiend leered and stared at her bust
    Drooling with obvious lust
    As the lady walked by
    She kicked him in the fly
    Left a bruised bonner to adjust.

  123. Tony Holmes says:

    “When life throws us a curve ball, we must
    Take the time to reflect, though nonplussed.
    So your wife’s runaway
    With your neighbour, who’s gay.
    It’s a blow to your manhood. Adjust!”

  124. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    __onundrums are riddled with clues,
    __ften hidden to vex and confuse.
    __nder cover they lurk;
    __hyming may lift the murk.
    __ake a cue, then, from woos, sues, and boos.

  125. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun Limerick-Off, which is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 508. Congratulations to the winners!

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Bear.