MAD KANE'S HUMOR BLOG

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

In my town our archaic saloon,
Holds a “game night” on ev’ry full moon.
We make pool cues from bones,
And play Scrabble with stones.
You should see it — complete rack and rune.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special MEMORY-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

Forgetting stuff isn’t a game;
It can lead to great sorrow and shame.
Here’s a story of woe
From a fellow I know:
In the sack he called out the wrong name.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Paul Haebig, Dave Johnson, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Bob Turvey, Janice Canerdy, Konrad Schwoerke, Tony Holmes, Terry Marter, and Brian Allgar. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“LOON or LUNE or BALLOON or SALOON”-Rhyme DIVISION)

Lisi Nortman:

I have a fun toy that’s unmatched.
’Twas the last one in stock that I snatched!
It’s a novel balloon
That plays a Bach tune.
It was free and had no strings attached.

Paul Haebig:

He wanted to make the girls swoon,
So he thought he’d transcribe “Claire de Lune.”
What he’d meant as romantic,
Just sounded pedantic.
It’s not a good tune for bassoon!

Dave Johnson:

Trump’s MAGA crowd started to swoon
The moment they cranked up his tune.
A raucous event,
In his thrall they were sent
By the sight of the slithery loon.

Sjaan VandenBroeder:

Said a parakeet once to a loon,
“It’s a hoot that you wail at the moon.
But if you were like me,
Always caged, never free,
You’d be singing a whole diff’rent tune.”

Bob Turvey:

I drive what Brits call a saloon
So fast it makes young ladies swoon.
[Now, saloon can mean beer –
So let’s make it quite clear –
If you drink and then drive you’re a loon.]

Lisi Nortman:

Folks, here is the sad situation
(A dilemma that faces the nation):
If you want a balloon,
Better be a tycoon.
The price is high due to inflation.

Janice Canerdy:

A young wife who was prone to misspell,
Wrote a note for her hubby, pell-mell:
“I’ll be at the saloon
The entire afternoon.”
He was steamed, but her hair got styled well.

Konrad Schwoerke:

I suggested that we only spoon,
But she countered, “Let’s fork and damned soon!”
I thought great till I felt
Stabbing tines as I knelt—
I just barely escaped Claire the Loon.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (MEMORY-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)

Sjaan VandenBroeder:

Absent-mindedness sometimes is hellish;
Drawing blanks isn’t something I relish.
Long-term mem’ries, however,
Confirm that I’m clever —
They’re the ones I’ve had time to embellish.

Tony Holmes:

“I remember the war – ’forty-two.
It was lunchtime – we had Irish stew.
I had two cups of tea –
Corporal Evans had three –
But for breakfast today? Not a clue.”

Terry Marter:

Had an Alzheimer’s meeting today,
Or was it last Tuesday, – or May?
Whatever they said
Must have entered my head,
But it didn’t remember to stay.

Dave Johnson:

Lorena – a name that reflects
The moment her rage cleared the decks.
Time’s passage may cure,
But there’s one thing for sure:
She’ll never re-member her ex.

Brian Allgar:

“Well, Doctor, the reason I came …”
He began. “… Lemme think … What a shame!
I was going to say
That I’ve lost … but today,
I’ve completely forgotten the name.”

Sjaan VandenBroeder:

If my mem’ry gets strained, I don’t sweat it.
Should it lapse on a workout, I let it.
When it heads for the shower,
And asks, “Why the glower?”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” I say, “just forget it.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

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