Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RAISE or RAYS or RAZE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 1, 2020)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RAISE or RAYS or RAZE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DANCE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DANCE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 2, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 1, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my RAISE/RAYS/RAZE-rhyme limerick:
When requesting a bonus or raise,
It is best to prepare for some nays;
Often praise will precede
A loud “NO!” Alas greed
Within management ain’t just a phase.
And here’s my DANCE-themed limerick:
A gal was attempting the twist —
A dance from her youth she still missed.
But this hard kind of rock
Left her hips in a lock.
She was wistful, as Doc said: “Resist!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Career Humor, Competition Limerick, Dance Humor, Dance Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Twist, Workplace Limerick Workplace Humor, Writing Prompts
I’ve caused a big song and dance
‘Cos my wife’s been starching my pants
The constant abrasion
Released my frustration
Have you got any tissues by chance?
The march? D’ you mean yesterday’s?
Yeah, we keep hoping marches will raise
Awareness! that he
(Sir Hairness, tee-hee!)
Is nearing the end of his days
Madeline: it’s been a while since I’ve done this, and it’s possible I’m not submitting it in the right form or the right place. If that’s true, I apologize.
*****
From Mad:
No need to apologize. You’re doing it right! Good to have you back!
DANCE
I’m old now, and not quite as agile
As I once was–tho clearly not fragile!
And if dancing’s your thing, it
Is mine, too–let’s wing it!
The energy loss will be–gradual!
In the street, you will see lots of strays
In Hawaii, you’ll see lots of bays
In L.A. lots of parks
In the ocean are sharks
And in prism you’ll see naughty rays
(“Zumba” is performed primarily to Latin American dance music)
At “Senior Place” we never stop!
At 5 we’re all doin’ the Bop
At 6 it’s the Rumba
At 7 the Zumba
And at 8 we do “Arthritis Flop”
The Republican drank some wine
At the party, was feeling fine.
He got up from his seat,
Danced the conga, ’twas neat.
He just followed the party line.
(Fandango: a Spanish dance) “More Dancin'”
At “Senior Place” we never stop!
At 5 we’re all doin’ the Bop
At 6 it’s the Tango
At 7, Fandango
And at 8 we do “Arthritis Flop”
The horrors just seem to increase,
Today, gaily, we’ll dance for peace!
We’re now in quite scary times,
Resist with dance,VOTES, and rhymes,
And pray that the nightmares soon cease.
We will never just throw in the towel,
As we watch the pols’ tap dance most foul;
Won’t get drunk on good wine,
At least most of the time;
We won’t sing, we’ll quite loudly howl.
At “Get Hypnotized” I got a raise
My boss said, “You sure deserve praise
All your clients agree
They don’t mind the large fee
Cuz they love spending time in a daze”
It’s regrettable we’ve had to raze
All your cities to naught but a haze,
But Commander-in-Chief
Loves his burgers of beef
And the cattle need grassland to graze.
Rebecca, oh how she could dance!
She hoped it might bring her romance
But she smelled like a skunk
Oh WOW! how she stunk
Ain’t no one who’d give her a glance
Though the poker joint’s no-smoke these days,
It once reeked of old cigarette haze —
Till the day that Big Mabel
Tipped over the table
And cried “I can’t see; I won’t raise!”
The bar on the corner was grand;
You could dance to a real decent band —
Till the barmaid, no sport,
Took the owner to court
For misuse of a too-frisky hand.
One moonlit night we were alone
And heard music with sweet dreamy tone
Our hearts were aglow
We danced really slow
While Johnny kept checking his phone
Trump’s defense team is so hard to view.
The roster just screams out #meetoo!
The Church cries, “End Days!”
Trump says, “I’ll see it and raise!”
And his base just cries out “Whoo-hoo!”
better grammar: L2
One moonlit night we were alone
(Heard a song with a sweet dreamy tone)
Our hearts were aglow
We danced really slow
While Johnny kept checking his phone
“Erotic Dancing”
We seniors have great dancing power
We’re show-offs who never will cower
Our specialty’s “Pole”
It’s got real tempting soul
We swing down those bars in the shower
A singer with soul deserves praise
Even more if the piano he plays
He must have a great voice
Which makes people rejoice
And all of these features were “Ray’s”
Mad: above limerick: L5 Could you please change “are” to were
Thank You,
Lisi
*******
Done.
Impotence may just be phase
Ignore all the yay’s and the nay’s
You’re not over the hill
Buy the little blue pill
Just swallow and hope for a raise
Said the Bard, “I conceive a design
Regards music, as notions combine.
It is Love’s daily meat –
And the tapping of feet,
Will mean dance must be Love’s heady wine.”
Spake the Bard, “I conceive a design
Regards music; my notions combine!
It is Love’s daily meat –
And the tapping of feet,
Will mean dance must be Love’s heady wine.”
Attention Employees!
“We’re about to begin a new phase!
And I think it deserves lots of praise
This firm is in debt
But employees will get
Free Prozac instead of a raise”
Let’s get bulldozers – get them to raze
Mar-a-Lago, Trump Towers; then gaze
At the rubble; I’m thrilled!
Our wish is fulfilled.
Add some gasoline, spilled for a blaze!
(hey! a girl can dream, can’t she?)
To our Donald a glass we all raise
And insist that he sings Marseillaise
The bright shiny rays
His presence should raze
Since our glasses hold drinks Écossaise!
And on the dance theme:
The president’s trying to waltz
To help him we share lots of malts
And after each swig
All he does is a jig
And ends with sixteen somersaults.
The secretary expected a raise
When she looked at her check, she was daze
It was less than before
So, she walked out the door
Jumped around, starting a new craze
While doing the salsa dance
I fell onto a guy named Lance
We twisted and we turned
The floor started to burn
Caught fire, then we started to prance
We “seniors” have always outshone
Belly Dancers, who make the guys moan
Unlike long ago
We’ve got lots more to show
Cuz our bellies shake all on their own
The “Savoy” (famed Harlem Night Spot, N.Y.C.)
Even now that I’m old and I’m gray
I love to put on a display
Just like at “Savoy”
I still dance for joy
And I love ev’ry step of the way
Dr. Spooner touched off quite a row
With a toast that went sideways. Here’s how:
When “Our glasses we raise”
Came out “…lasses we graze,”
A gal thought he’d called her a cow.
Embraced in a slow sexy dance,
She slid her warm hand down his pants;
The cannon was loaded
And promptly exploded–
So much for a one-shot romance.
Though the sun and the moon have their rays,
one works nights; the other works days.
Said the sun to the moon,
“Now, don’t set in a swoon,
but your rays are but merely a phase.”
(The girl in Cake’s “Short Skirt/Long Jacket”)
A basis she had for romance:
The fellow must know how to dance.
And once that was met,
More guidelines she’d set;
Including “Removal of Pants”.
I gave my shy grandson advice:
“Don’t sit like a damn block of ice
Now go get up and dance
Cuz now is your chance
To learn touching girls feels real nice”
As a girl she had studied ballet,
And she practiced her moves ev’ry day.
As she bent to that task,
Other children would ask:
“Can Anna come out and plié?”
Bible verses all day, the nuns cite
But at day’s end, their passions ignite
They drink mocha, chew coca,
Behave a bit loca
And dance to a polka all night.
Hokey Pokey
First the right foot went in and then out
At our parties, the kids had no doubt
That the left foot was next
Never made us perplexed
And that’s what it all was about
The True History Of Square Dancing
There is something I’d like to explain
Even though it sounds rather insane
“SWING YOUR PARTNER” began
With a woman and man
Who are well-known as Tarzan and Jane
When you dance, you must stay with the beat
It’s the rhythm that makes it so sweet
It’s “a one an a two”
Really easy to do
And sort of like lim’riks for feet
On the dance floor, I’ve got two left feet;
Tend to perch on a far window seat.
When “Let’s Tango!” is called
I am most unenthralled
(In fact, beat a most hasty retreat.)
If it’s Cain that you’re trying to raise,
Try to round up a few devotees
To the cause; then provoke
A revolt. Go for broke!
But expect a few counter-melees.
I’m working vacations these days;
A concept that quite often pays.
To stay within reach
Watching girls at the beach;
That’s likely to get me a raise.
A question I think I should raise:
Are these the end of our days?
If Trump wins again
I guess so, so then,
I’ll bury my brain in a haze
Of pot smoke or good alcohol
Cause I just couldn’t take it at all.
But no, I should fight
The crooks on the Right.
I won’t let America fall.
At strip clubs, a number of chaps
Pay dancers to roost on their laps.
And here’s how it works:
Buying wiggles and twerks
Allows them to fill in the gaps.
It’s not that I need a rooster to raise
But there he sat, “Lord be praised”.
He sat on the shelf
Stuffed up as himself
Brought him home cuz of pilfering ways.
With feathers and red comb all a-sway
I took him, YES, that very same day
Can you see my dilemma
‘Twas a dull December
Thus with me and cat he’s forced to stay.
When stuck in a long bathroom queue
Most ladies had nothing to do
Till they started to squiggle
Which proceeded a wiggle
And Line Dancing made its debut
My “hubby” spends most of his days
Working out, and I must give him praise
He admits that he’s fat
Yet, I’m so thankful that
He shields me from real harmful rays
D on’t do “Salsa” too fast; you might slip
A nd that would sure cause you to trip
N ever wear slip’ry shoes
C uz you’ll fall and abuse
E v’ry muscle, and need a new hip
(acrostic)
Their dancing was steamy and slow;
We wondered how far they would go.
Then, leaving the floor,
Were they opting for more?
The washroom attendant said “No!”
Some people, convinced they can dance,
Are nothing but preening and prance.
Their singular flair:
Waving hands in the air;
As bad as Sean Spicer? No chance!
While taking a trip to Durango
I learned how to do the Fandango
But another cool dance
Got me pregnant by chance
Cuz mom said, “It takes two to Tango”
Hi Mad,
Could you please change line 5 in my posting above to read:
“As bad as Sean Spicer? No chance!”
Thanks, Dave J
**
Done.
Mad: above limerick (3:46 pm, today) Could you change
L3 from But there one more dance to But another cool dance
Thank You Lisi
*****
Done.
There’s a penniless farmer named Dan
Who applied for a loan so he can
Buy some chickens to raise.
And he got the okays
‘Cause his loan’s on the lay-away plan.
Must change last few lines. Here is replacement
With his feather and red comb a-sway
I took hem, yes, that very same day
Can you see the dilemma
Twas a quite dull December
Thus with me and the cats he must stay.
Thanks Madeleine Caryn from Maine
Hello, I would like some soft shoes
Till you find them, I’ll go and peruse
Your “Ole Antique Nook”
Cuz I also must look
For a hat and a cane. (Please excuse)
Pregnant Again?
While taking a trip to Durango
I mastered the moves of Fandango
Then I learned one more dance
And got pregnant by chance
(Forgot that it takes two to Tango)
A talented dancer named Jonas
Met Kim at a club called The Onus.
Now they really groove
‘Cause she knows how to move;
Which works in the sack as a bonus.
For years, I’ve been doing ballet
But got bounced after last night’s “display”
My poor pirouette
I shall always regret
Since my pony tail got in the way
TRUE !!
I must tell you about my malaise
I’ve arthritis for myriad days
It’s killing my neck
I am simply a wreck
And both of my arms I can’t raise
He asked her “Do I bring you pleasure?”
Her answer – not one he would treasure:
“The issue you raise
Might become the next phase;
But first, we’ll need something to measure.”
I went to the boss for a raise,
He said, “You’ve seen much better days.
Your work output of late
Is strictly fourth rate
And I’m of the mind that you laze.”
No, simply that cannot be
That’s someone else, it’s not me.
I start all my work days
Before the sun’s early rays
And am here after afternoon tea.
Yes, you may clock in and clock out
But what do you do here about?
I’ll give you a big raze
That’ll cause more than a daze
More like a bomb I’ve no doubt.
The “Free World Leader’s” his claim
But as a leader, he’s lame.
In the new summer’s days
When the bush fires raze,
Do you think he’ll take the blame?
Trump’s actions no longer faze.
No looks, no eyebrow does raise.
For most American folk
He’s just a big joke…
Save when he’s worked into a craze.
Several States’ Electoral Law
Is being built on houses of straw
So that Republicans raise
Their chances and raze
The chances of ‘Crats even more.
With Trump’s last flickering rays
His effigy we’re going to raze
A guiding light for the free
That the whole world can see
Democracy’s spirits to raise.
My wife and I dance the Tango,
The Samba, Cha Cha and Fandango.
We both can’t resist
The Jive or the Twist
Or Limbo… to see how low we can go?
I know what I’m talking about folks,
No matter how Thunberg may coax.
Just ignore the smoke haze
That blocks the sun’s rays,
Talk of climate change is a hoax,
(For Margo)
They met when he asked her to dance;
The start of an epic romance.
Now thirty years plus,
That’s the story of us;
Love happens when given the chance.
A flagon of mead I now raise
To Shakespeare, who wrote such great plays;
Although I can’t quote
A line that he wrote,
I’ll read–maybe one of these days.
Want to join the Republican dance?
If you’re stupid, this could be your chance.
No brain is required –
Say “Not Guilty”, you’re hired;
Mitch just needs you to gibber and prance.
Can anything ever erase
The shame of these terrible days?
Justice stood on its head,
And democracy dead,
With a POTUS who knows that crime pays.
Once again, I am utterly pissed
By the rhyme-words that Rhymeword has missed.
Disbelieving, I gaze
At the entries for ‘raise’,
But ‘erase’ can’t be found in their list.
(Double)
When we’re dancing, her eyes tend to glaze,
And I bask in their soft, dreamy rays –
Till I tread on her toes!
Then the swearwords she knows
Would outclass all the oaths in Roget’s.
I asked my boss for a raise
To stay my fiscal malaise
I was introduced
To an alternate boost
A leg-up on her sensuous ways
I remember that warm night in June
40 years ago, oh, how I’d swoon!
Out of nowhere, we heard
The sweet song of a bird
And we danced to the light of the moon
Chuck BERRY! Oh wow, was he cute!
He’d sing and he’d dance; what a hoot!
My son asked of me
“Hey Ma “What was he?
A singer or some kind of fruit?”
(chuckberries: yum)
When an ewe catches Farmer Grout’s eye,
As the flock of his sheep pass him by,
In the time-honoured ways,
By the Moon’s eerie rays,
He romances the ‘lass’ on the sly.
The owners of “Real Fancy Mink”
Should surely be put in the clink
When the prices they raise
They don’t deserve praise
Cuz the “discount” is not what you think
The “Counsel Of Seniors” is through!
I’m so mad, I don’t know what to do!
Barney asked for a raise
He is sure in a daze
He just got one in 1902 !!
When a winsome young ewe takes his eye,
Farmer Grout isn’t one to be shy.
By the Moon’s eerie rays,
In the old-fashioned ways,
He romances the ‘lass’ on the sly.
“Farmer Giles is a gentleman true!”
So says Gertrude, his favourite ewe.
“On occasion, we dance –
He’s a slave to romance –
Before getting to, ‘How do ewe do?’”
“When my husband comes seeking his way,
I discourage his manly display.
I recall, once, I gazed,
As his manhood was razed,
Thinking, ‘Wonder what Oprah would say?’”
“When my husband is feeling his oats
I encourage with time-honoured quotes.
‘That’s some drawbridge you raise!’
Says I, knowing that praise,
Like a rising tide, lifts up all boats.”
Devon farmers? They’m ol’-fashioned coves,
But behaves theirselves as it behoves.
They may be, quite by chance,
With their wives at a dance,
But they’m thinkin’ of ewes in their droves.
Note On Doctor’s Door Attention!
“Doc’ Smith will be here in 2 days
To cure ev’ry patients malaise
But he’s real overworked
So don’t get him irked
And DO NOT think of questions to raise!
another way of putting it: “Note On Doc Smith’s Door”
“Doc” Smith will be here in 2 days
To cure ev’ry patients malaise
But he’s quite overworked
So please don’t get him irked
Do not think of ONE question to raise!
Sorry, Mad! I forgot the apostrophe in ” PATIENTS” in both limericks
She can do an incredible tango,
And wait till you see her fandango!
All this, if you please,
While she grips with her knees
An enormously fat, juicy mango.
Ssshhhh, Lisi, or the Punctuation Police will be breaking down your door in the middle of the nighy.
Shake it up Baby, now. C’mon work it all out!
I used to go twist and then shout
Cause my hip was about to fall out
Well, fine’ly I’m cured
But still not assured
Since now it’s affecting my gout
The latest political craze
Is impeachment that lasts just ten days,
But that won’t happen if
They unleash Adam Schiff
And allow him to riff and to raise
Such venality that will amaze
From this PO(tu)S who surely betrays
Every value we hold
With his lying, so bold.
Yet the GOP votes that he stays.
PERFORMANCE REVIEW
When Bob asked the boss for a raise
He was quickly damned with faint praise:
“Practice makes perfect,
And there ain’t any working stiff
More practiced in groans and oy veys.”
FREE AND EASY LIVER
In my 20’s I was tan and skinny.
I looked hot in my dotted bikini.
But copping those rays
Made my skin, these days,
As spotted as my swimsuit had been-y.
THE MERRY CONTRACTOR
You can holler and yammer and blaze
About roots and community ways.
For you times are lean, rough,
But towers mean green stuff.
So your neighborhood I’m going to raze.
The most amorous dance by fah
Is the sinuous cha cha cha.
Other dancers who step
Seem as stiff as a goose step:
Less fashioned for love than for wah.
“If we dance in the old-fashioned way,
I might mount an unwelcome display.
Should you happen to feel
What I fail to conceal,
And you find it distracting, please say.”
On Twitter Real Don would repeat
nasty words he picked up on the street;
he’d use them to raze
reputations, most days,
then most nights beat a hasty retweet.
He argues as if we are twits.
His dance tears all reason to bits.
His Twist and his Mash
Transform logic to hash,
So we call it the Dersho-half-witz.
“SPEAK UP. EL, AND MAKE YOURSELF CLEAR!”
yelled Donkey at Elephant’s ear.
“There’s no need to raise
your voice in these ways,”
said El, “just pretend I’m not here.”
A Tribute To Michael Jackson
I did not pass the “astronaut test”
I must tell you I sure did my best
But I couldn’t “Moonwalk”
Oh Wow! Did they squawk!
I was put under “Backslide Arrest”
My soothsayer gave me a call
She’s a lady who sure does enthrall
She said, “Wear a suit
Cuz you’ve ‘gotta look cute
And we’ll dance at the famed “Crystal Ball”
“Should we dance in the old-fashioned way,
There’s a good chance my chap will betray
What you may have surmised –
Thus, will not be surprised –
Things, when tongue-tied, I’m too shy to say.”
In the last Limerick-Off (queue) I introduced Sue (verse 1)
For the current Limerick-Off, I submit verse 2 (raise).
A naughty young nudist named Sue
Was checking out guys for a screw.
When she spotted his size,
She exclaimed with wide eyes:
“Oh, you’ll be the first in the queue!”
Our saucy young nudist named Sue
Was quite a fine sight in his view.
And her naughty ways
Gave him a hard raise…
You all know the next thing they do!
“Should we dance in the old-fashioned way,
There’s a good chance my chap will betray
Things you may have surmised,
But till now weren’t apprised;
Things, when tongue-tied, I’m too shy to say.”
My thanks to Larz for this one. Hope you don’t mind, Larz?
“Naughty nudists like Sue deserve praise;
They’re such sports in their naturist ways.
I played poker with one,
And said, ‘This should be fun
As I’m going all-in on this raise.’”
Still working on getting this right.
“Should we dance in the old-fashioned way,
There’s a good chance my chap will betray
Things you may have surmised,
But till now weren’t apprised;
Things which, tongue-tied, I’m too shy to say.”
“Should we dance in the old-fashioned way,
There’s a good chance my chap will betray
Things of which, though surmised,
You were not yet apprised;
Things which, tongue-tied, I’m too shy to say.”
That’s better.
“Naughty nudists like Sue should be praised;
They don’t bet till they’ve fully appraised.
With her eye on the pot,
She’ll be put on the spot;
‘Are you going all-in now I’ve raised.’”
Like you, Larz, I find I’m rather taken with Sue. LOL
“Naughty nudists like Sue should be praised;
They don’t bet till they’ve fully appraised.
With her eye on the pot,
She’ll put you on the spot;
‘Are you going all-in now I’ve raised.’”
Soory!
The Pilgrims arrived in a flock
When you hear this, you’ll go into shock
After eating the turkey
They got kind of jerky
And danced to “Ye Olde Plymouth Rock”
The toe dancers did their famed leap
In the theater, there wasn’t a peep
They danced in a “hush”
There was no need to rush
Cause the crowd there were all fast asleep
“Naughty nudists like Sue should be praised;
They don’t bet till they’ve fully appraised.
With her eye on the pot,
She puts men on the spot;
‘Are you going all-in now I’ve raised.’”
Scans better.
At the post office, I had a chat
With the mail man, (but more like a spat)
Cuz the sign said,”We’ll raise
Our rate for 6 days
Then much more for each week after that”
a minor change
At the post office I had a chat
With the mail man, (or more like a spat)
Cuz the sign said, “We’ll raise
Our rate for 10 days
Then again, for each week after that
Fundamentalists, while they’re romancing,
Make sure, if their love needs enhancing,
They’re not standing up
In the midst of their shtup
Because people might think that they’re dancing.
The current Limerick-Off ends tomorrow, Saturday, at 10 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.
There is no smoke without fire
And Trump is a raging pyre.
Till the end of his days
He’ll continue to raze
And drag America into the mire.
“Let the American people decide…”
But they didn’t, so Herschmann has lied.
A point I should well raise,
Unrecalled after so many days,
The Trump vote, by three million, shied.
As she moves with such grace, his heart melts
Was he hearing the music of Celts?
Why’s she shaking her bum
Up and down like a drum?
It’s the peepee dance, dumdum, what else?
He was going to end his own life
But decided to put down the knife.
To a strip joint he went
Where the dancer was bent
T’ward this horrified gent – she’s his wife!
She stopped dancing and jumped off the stage
As he chased her around with such rage
His knife flipped on the fly
And went right through his eye
So I guess he won’t die of old age!
Fred Astaire doesn’t know how it feels
To dance painfully, but it reveals
Ginger flew like a wren
Spun again and again
Did it backwards and then in high heels!
Though I work hard as cleaner and scrubber
And dance through the night like a clubber,
I bounce and I flounce
And I jounce and I pounce
But I can’t shed an ounce of this blubber!
A Soviet martial art – Sambo
Or a tough, one-man army called Rambo
If I had my pick
Of which quick trick I’d lick,
Hmm, I think I’ll just stick to the mambo.
This hip-hop’s electro and rap
Shows I’m too bloody old for that crap.
I ain’t shakin’ my bacon
You must be mistaken –
I’d rather be takin’ a nap!
You say, “Do the Mexican Hat Dance
While wearing a round skirt and flat pants.”
See my girdle thing bust
And folks watch in disgust.
Of that happening, just a big FAT chance!
Waltzing Matilda’s a song
To Australia it does belong
The fires are a sin
But she’ll fight and she’ll win
So let’s tell her, “Hang in there, stay strong!”
I have never seen anything raze
Like Australia’s fires these days.
Throughout this hot weather
It’s love’s binding tether
Helps folks fight together, this blaze.
So, how truly bad are the sun’s rays?
Is it worth looking sexy for days?
Give me Vitamin D
Not this lesion I see
Of skin cancer; please be a short phase!
With some praise, the boss hopes that she stays.
Here’s a mug, a new desk and bouquets.
For solutions, he’s fished
But his prospects were squished
Because all what she wished for – a raise!
If your lover’s deep passion’s ablaze
And your body parts flail in a craze
If you know you’re not gay, be
Prepared because maybe
It could be a baby you raise!
Ray’s vineyard has gotten much praise
Although wine’s not produced nowadays.
A sweet treat’s all the craze
Eaten so many ways
As Ray’s raisins are raised by sun rays.
A corn farmer’s fields were ablaze
On the only darn crop he could raise.
His short temper was goaded
To shoot; it exploded –
The gun! It was loaded with maize.
My doggie was just in a daze
Because of her real naughty ways
She should’ve been spayed
Before she got laid
And now she’s got 10 pups to raise
To Tony Holmes – no I don’t mind that you are enamored of my Sue…
My Susie of nudist camp fame,
Whose figure has won much acclaim,
Has stolen men’s hearts
But she always parts
With thanks very much just the same.
Did you enjoy the ballet today?
When La prima performed Grand jeté
You could here all the snickers
She’d forgotten her knickers
Her Nutcracker was quite a display
This Republican bunch aims to raze
The quaint notion that crime never pays.
They’re content to ignore
Trump’s abuses galore —
Which they’ll do till the end of their daze.
Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Limerick-Off Award 337. Congratulations to the winners!
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off CHAIN.
One thing about Trump can be said,
“Witch Hunt’s” have gone to his head.
No other twee phrase
Will he immediately raise
Though all Salem witches are dead.