Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GRIP or GRIPPE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 12, 2019)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GRIP or GRIPPE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BOSSES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BOSSES-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 13, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 12, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my GRIP/GRIPPE-rhyme limerick:
My mood has been taking a dip
Cuz I fear I’ve been gripped by the grippe.
“Just a cold,” says my doc.
“Get a grip and don’t squawk!
“My prescription: green tea and a nip.”
And here’s my BOSSES-themed limerick:
My boss tends to yammer and kvetch
And complain all the time, till you retch
From the onslaught of griping
And groaning and sniping…
But at least the guy isn’t a letch.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bosses, Competition Limerick, Employment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Illness Humor, Letches Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, The Grippe, Work, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick, Writing Prompts
A young chap being prepped for the snip
Has laid hold and won’t loosen his grip.
Said the nurse, ‘Second thought?’
Chap replies, overwrought,
‘If it’s all right with you, I’ll just skip.’
Or
A young chap being prepped for the snip
Has laid hold and won’t loosen his grip.
Said the nurse, ‘Second thought?’
Chap replies, overwrought,
‘If it’s all right with you, nurse, I’ll skip.’
One having the wrong kind of snip
Is genetically mutated to quip
My helix is lacking
This headache is cracking
I must get an epigenetical grip
I’m sure there’s a bud you must nip.
To do this just take a firm grip.
When our Donald falls
Ignore his mad calls
AS he goes on his last one way trip.
Near the end of his premiership,
Poor Boris has quite lost his grip.
“My threat of ‘no-deal’
Would’ve brought ’em to heel,
But you’ve ruined my bargaining chip!”
On each side of the pond there are bosses
Who need to be chased by armed posses.
It must be done soon
At least before noon
So the world avoids damaging losses.
Though I work every day at a loss,
My company won’t come across:
“There’s no money for you.”
And I know that it’s true,
Because actually, I’m my own boss.
In a cooking class—oh, don’t remind me!
My mates were both unkind and kindly
” Get a grip!” “Take a sip!””
“Taste my chocolate chip!”
But the sink is where you’d likely find me!
***********
Wow, the rhyme word today is a pip!
But I’m kind, so I’ll give you a tip:
You get flu shots and “ooh!”shots
(For shingles there’s TWO shots!)
But no-one gets shots for la grippe.
************
For travel, if you want a nip
Wrap it carefully inside your grip
‘Cause the way bags get tossed
Things get broken —or lost
Ruining clothes, and God knows, your whole trip.
*****
“Oh,those bosses!”, the new hire said,.
Her face kind of teary and red—
The bald one just pinched me
And then, when I flinched, he
said “It’ll be better in bed!”
The showgirls all started to strip
I sure did a “hell of a flip”
Then was escorted out
And heard the cop shout:
“Hey, buddy; you can’t get a grip”
Mad, this has no connection to either of this week’s words. You can just keep it for yourself or delete it or whatever, but I wanted to share it with you.
Bindy
LIMERICK DIFFERENCES
There’s a difference between quick and witty
Like the difference between sly and — pretty
I can write one a minute
But the content that’s in it
Might as well have been done by committee!
Whereas some of you make my head spin!
You’re in a cerebral world I’m not in!
I confess, I am jealous!
I might try being zealous
But I’m betting I just will not win.
A hangnail just makes my “hub” flip
When I cut it, this jerk bites his lip
And he calls 911
Then he screams, “MY LIFE’S DONE!!”
When he gets a slight case of the grippe
What to do when the boss is insane.
Narcissistic, a bully, and vain.
Boss of the country is worse,
The whole thing is perverse.
By acceptance, you’ve nothing to gain.
A crabby, mean boss in Seattle
Grew sick of employees he’d battle.
But lately the word
Is he’s driving a herd;
He thinks he’ll do better with cattle.
This girl I just met said she’s “hip”
So into her bed we did slip
But she wriggled around
Fine’ly claimed she had found
“Some object too small for a grip”
a slightly modified version of limerick from 10:04 AM
When the showgirls all started to strip
I sure did a “hell of a flip”
Then was escorted out
And I heard the cop shout
“Hey, Jerk, you just can’t get a grip”
My boss is the capo de tutti.
But he just grabbed me by the booty.
I’m liberal, yes,
But my best guess
is that he may be real fruity.
The New Girl
Don’t get yourself into a tizzy
You’re so nervous, you’re making me dizzy
Remember I said
“You must keep a cool head
When the boss walks in, act like you’re busy”
That Silking Feeling
When asleep in a sleek silk slick slip
You might slip slide and soon loose your grip
Cause the pain in your crotch
Will exceed any notch
You forsaw or’d forsee on this trip
“Take a shot in the arm for the grippe”,
Said the doc, “Just a prick! No more lip!
If I can’t influence ya,
To shun influenza,
I’ll be writing a ‘scrip for a r.i.p!”
O Doctor, the pain in me hip!
O Dentist, the size of me lip!
This ménage a trois,
Ain’t too good pour moi,
I suggest we all loosen our grip!
7:11 p.m.
Line 3:
“If I can’t influence ya” to be read like this: “If I can’t influence-ya”
Sorry. That’s not at all very clear.
Try this:
“If I can’t in-flu-ence-ya”
My boss is a pain in the ass,
She cannot let anything pass,
On everyone’s case,
And up in my face,
I’ll C U Next Tuesday, alas!
*********
Why Tuesday instead of, say, Monday?
MY boss gives me very low pay
(I wonder sometimes why I stay)
He is such a mean guy
That at times makes me cry!
When I leave, he says, “Have a nice day”
(Yeah, Right)
The boss is inept, what a pity!
He cannot sort nitty from gritty,
Too slow on the orders,
From Mehico borders,
I’ll grass him, for he is so shitty!
Lisi,
Have a really nice day!
***********
LOL!
O Teacher of Drama, you’re hip,
So trendy and you’ve got a grip,
On requests so extreme,
Which I deem obscene,
A tad soon to tell us to strip!
Monday comes too soon + Monday doesn’t sit well with MUNT
Apologies.
C U Next Tuesday is an extremely rude term for a lady’s vagina. 🤠🥴
*********
I’m unfamiliar with that term. (Though I now get it, of course.)
Have I been banned for abusive lingo?
***********
Not at all.
I was surprised with the prompt to use an alternative word. I suspect that only you, Madeleine, could reveal that to all who log in to read limericks. That is kinda weird and a tad scary. Sorry. Won’t bother you again.
Thanks for entertainment.
Ciao,
John.
*********
I have no idea what you’re talking about. But you certainly have not been banned.
Obviously,
Language issue exists. I shouldn’t have even dared to enter the stage.
Apologies. Best wishes.
J.
***********
You haven’t been banned at all. What makes you think you’re banned?
My doctor, he said, “Get a grip”
You must pack, and then go on a trip.
Over mount, hill, and vale
You’ get hearty and hale;
In the Med. you shall go for a dip.
——————————————————————-
I have the most careless of bosses
About nothing, they don’t give two tosses
When account ting time comes
There’s no beating of drums;
The just sit here, counting their losses
Further Developments
A young chap being prepped for the snip
Has laid hold and won’t loosen his grip.
Says the nurse, ‘Second thought?’
Chap responds, overwrought,
‘If it’s all right with you, Ma’am, I’ll skip.’
‘Prophylactics were working just fine,
Till the night we imbibed too much wine.
Over eager, I missed,
As one does when one’s pissed,
And since then she declines to entwine.’
Says the nurse, ‘You must do as you will.
Don’t forget, though, there’s always the pill.’
Chap now loosens his grip;
Thanks the nurse – ‘Ma’am, you’re hip!’ –
And departs without paying his bill.
Mr Cooney,Sir,
Having followed your exchange with the Big M, I have taken what I’m hoping you will not regard as too great a liberty, and amended your second and last lines so that they now scan and make your meaning clearer. (Offered in a sppirit of cameraderie, not criticism.” TH
My boss is a pain in the ass,
She just cannot let anything pass,
On everyone’s case,
And up in my face,
A right, C U Next Tuesday, alas!
What else could she do?
A young chap being prepped for the snip
Has laid hold and won’t loosen his grip.
Says the nurse, ‘Second thought?’
Chap responds, overwrought,
‘If it’s all right with you, Ma’am, I’ll skip.’
‘Prophylactics were working just fine,
Till the night we imbibed too much wine.
Over eager, I missed,
As one does when one’s pissed,
And since then she declines to entwine.’
Says the nurse, ‘You must do as you will.
Don’t forget, though, there’s always the pill.’
Chap now loosens his grip;
Thanks the nurse – ‘Ma’am, you’re hip!’ –
And departs without paying his bill.
So, the nurse makes a note in the file,
‘Mister So and So chose to resile.
Gone for good? Hard to say,
But he still has to pay
For advice – and the shave and restyle.’
Changing tack.
As the steward took charge of my grip,
At the start of my round-the-world trip,
I let slip I’d been spurred
By a comment I heard,
Re the fun I would have aboard ship.
Mr. Trump, now get a grip
And be careful how you let rip.
There’s no need to abuse,
Just call it “Fake News”
And say they’re on some power trip.
After all the time that has passed,
Now Power, I have it at last.
I’ll not falter nor trip
Nor will I lose my grip,
Ever resolute and always steadfast
Being boss is a bit of a perk
As you can farm out all of the work,
And if it goes wrong,
You can shout loud and strong,
And blame it on some other jerk.
There was an old woman named Flossie
Who was surly and very bossy
She henpecked her spouse
Who’s as quiet as a mouse
And gave her no cause to be crossy.
Impeachment? The Dems’ silly season,
Believe me, will fail. Stands to reason;
I’m the man, I’m the boss,
And I don’t give a toss,
’Cause the President can’t commit treason.
One discerns one is losing one’s grip
When the starch in one’s stiff upper lip
Can no longer maintain,
Reinforce or regain;
At which point one should bail or jump ship.
Ol’ Rudy G can’t get a grip.
The Washington Post just let it slip
that he stood to gain
Kremlin bucks post-Ukraine!
(heroically, he cancelled the trip.)
For a job, you have picked the right spot
I know you will like it a lot
And now that you’re hired
You’ll never be fired
Cause the boss said you’re “ass-kick’in hot”
Syllable Correction!
The New Girl
Don’t get yourself into a tizzy!
You’re jumpy and making me dizzy!
I told you I’ve said
“Just keep a cool head
And make the boss think that you’re busy”
“Oh Mary I hate our boss, “Munch”
I’d just like to give him a punch”
“Sue, let it all out
You can scream; you can shout
(But wait till he goes out to lunch”)
A Variation
By the state of one’s stiff upper lip,
One may gauge if one’s losing one’s grip.
Feel a tremor? One’s fine;
Started flapping? Sure sign
You’re embarked on a very bad trip.
Boss’s Day is October 16th. A Card For The Boss:
Happy Boss’s Day! You deserve praise!
I like you in so many ways!
But to even the score
I’d like you much more
If you gave me a really good raise.
It’s only a rumour. I should know – I started it.
As the steward took charge of my grip,
At the start of my round-the-world trip,
I let slip I’d been spurred
By a comment I heard,
Re the fun I would have aboard ship.
Said the steward, a gleam in each eye,
‘I perceive, Sir, you’re able and spry.
There are ladies galore,
Port, aft, starboard and fore;
Are you up to it, sailor?’ “Aye, aye!”
Oh, how easy to knock those in charge,
Most of whom do their best, by and large.
It’s those vested for cash
Should be treated as trash,
And dumped far out to sea from a barge.
Just give it a really good grip
Then up and then down, (I’ll just flip)
These milkshakes are sweet
A real special treat
Do it right and I’ll give you a sip
Lisi, I’m abashed! (Not really, tee-hee.Very allusive.)
He offered her one helpful tip:
“Don’t worry, it’s all in the grip.
Encircle your hands
‘Round the shaft as it stands;
Enough so the club doesn’t slip.”
Mr. Sanity went on a trip
Aboard a luxurious ship
Saw Trump; shook his hand
It made him feel grand
Cuz he gave him a “bone-crusher” grip
Mr. Octopus Man on a trip
Met Miss Octopus Girl, (who was hip)
They shook hands; it was weird
Cause a problem appeared:
They couldn’t untangle their grip
I said, “Sigmund, you must get a grip!
I’m not watching a cross-dresser strip.”
But he tuned out my plea,
Now I cannot unsee
What was under his Freudian slip.
My boss says, “I run a tight ship!”
As we’re crushed in his power-mad grip.
When I quit one fine day
I’ll look over his way;
The proverbial bird I will flip.
When in labor, I thought I would flip
(Pretty soon it was time for that “snip”)
I was SCREAMING in pain
Then my “hubby” said “Jane
Please don’t bother me; I’ve got the grippe”
Hi, Mad!
Sorry to bother you, but would you please change the last line of my limerick above to:
What was under his Freudian slip.
Thanks, Konrad
***********
Done.
I have to admit I was lurking
(Went back to my cubicle smirking)
I was simply aghast
Since then nothing’s surpassed
The sight of my boss really working.
Auld MacTavish adjusted his grip
On the beaker containing his nip.
He had once had a spill,
And he mourned the loss still,
And woke screaming at night, “’Twas a slip!”
We seniors are all very hip
But regretfully, we often trip
We sleep out on the grass
Cause we rea’lize, alas
That our door knobs we surely can’t grip
Mad: just looked back at the limerick I wrote at 4:14 PM
There is just no word as “act’ly” (LOL)
Could you please change line 5 to: The sight of my boss really working
Thank You,
Lisi
******
Done.
The boss-man was giving me heck
And the ass was withholding my check
Said the boss, “Get a grip!
For no work shall you skip.”
So I then got a grip of his neck.
For my fam’ly I buy the provisions
We’ve set up “strategic” divisions
Well, me? I’m THE BOSS!
(Watch out! I get cross!)
And my wife reaches all our decisions
The boss said you’re “greatly admired”
I’m happy that you have been hired
This place is sublime
Don’t be RIGHT all the time!
(In that case, you’ll surely be fired)
a slight change
I provide for my fam’ly’s provisions
We’ve set up “strategic” divisions
Well me? I’m THE BOSS
(Watch out! I get cross!)
And my wife makes the final decisions
“I’m President!” – words he will toss;
His winning is everyone’s loss.
Impeachment or not,
For the carnage he brought:
“You’re Fired!” will show him who’s boss.
Poor Auld Mac’
Auld MacTavish, afeared for his nip,
Kept close guard lest another one slip.
More than forty year’ since,
But it still made him wince,
Which is why he maintained a tight grip.
A young German Mädchen called Pippa
Said she was ill with “die Grippe”.
But it wasn’t the ‘flu
That made her feel blue
Herr Doktor said it was “Der Tripper”.
Mid-management suck-ups are worst;
Indulging their own selfish thirst.
Don’t ask for a raise,
Any guidance or praise;
The backsides they’re smooching come first.
His boss and he frequently clash,
And he suffers, as under the lash.
Here she comes, and he’s sure
There’s fresh hell to endure:
“If you would, dear, please take out the trash.”
To avoid with your wife a big loss,
Words of wisdom to you I will toss:
You will know, if you’re bright,
She’s not boss ’cause she’s right.
She is right just because she’s the boss.
Revenge
Sit down, cause you might need some water
“Boss” fired me and I sure taught ‘er
Oh Boy! Did she shout
When she fine’ly found out
I’m dating her beautiful daughter
My work for today is now through
(The boss thinks that I have the flu)
And now that I’m done
The truth is I’ve run
Out of things I’m pretending to do
I just cannot stand my boss Clark!
Ev’ry day, there’s a nasty remark!
So I’ll now take a break
And go sit by the lake
Then at least I can cry in the park.
Mad: above limerick, L5 Could you please change
And then I can cry in the park to Then at least I can cry in the park
Thank You, Lisi
*********
Done.
When the sickly old man took a sip
Of a potion with unsurpassed zip,
The flu quickly fled–
He leapt from his bed,
So glad he was losing his grippe.
His vasectomy took place today;
With eight kids, he could hardly say nay.
He was deep in fear’s grip
As they started to snip,
But his wife feels relief, come what may.
At this job I was surely not winning
On my chair with the wheels I kept spinning
With that cord ’round my neck
I was one tragic wreck
And my boss sat there stupidly grinning
I broke my right hand on a trip
Oh Boy! I had one nasty slip!
Now I’m home, just so sad
Tried to make myself glad
But my left hand just can’t get a grip
Dick just should have bitten his lip,
But, enraged, he tripped up (lost his grip),
So he shrieked at his shrink,
“Bitch, you drive me to kink!”
(Then regretted his Freudian slip).
We women who work for a wage
To survive must pretend to “engage.”
To appease the “big cheeses”
We swallow their teases
And leers – but internally rage.
I went on a wonderful trip
And what a magnificent ship!
Back at work (what a thrill)
Everybody was ill
And all waiting to give me the grippe
(Just another thought)
I went on a wonderful trip
And what a magnificent ship!
Back to work at the mill
All the workers were ill
And just waiting to give me the grippe
My lover would give me a nip
But couldn’t get past either lip
His dentures are missing
(I’ll settle for kissing)
The Poly has lost all its grip.
I thought as I drove my Firenza,
What’s a synonym for ‘influenza’?
Or ‘cold with a drip’?
Hey, I’ve got it! It’s ‘grippe’!
Ha! I should be a member of Mensa!
Give your parrot a swing with a clip
So she won’t fall when she does a flip.
The clip hurt, so your goal
Is put glue on the pole
It’s the thing that makes ole’ Polly grip.
Oh Dear Johnny was cool and so hip
What a shame that he had such a trip
In his coffin so grand
The remote in his hand
(They just could not unlock his grip)
The boss said, “Today I’m in luck
It feels like pure gold I have struck!
My job is so hard
That at times I feel scarred
But today I got through to a schmuck!”
Mad: above limerick: Could you please change L5 to
But I fine’ly got through to a schmuck!”
Thank You
Lisi
We all had to look up “the grippe”
It’s a word that is surely a “pip”
But we needed a rhyme
That dates back to the time
When the horse and the buggy were hip
fixing L5 of limerick from 8:47 AM
Oh Dear Johnny was cool and so hip
What a shame that he had such a trip!
In his coffin so grand
The remote in his hand
(Which they could not unlock from his grip)
Bosses Day: October 16th….A card from all your employees
“Happy Bosses Day; we must admit
You’ve achieved all your goals; WE ALL QUIT
You act like a jerk
Ev’ry day here at work
Making all of us feel just like shit”
Our times have a lesson to teach
About Mr. Trump’s overreach.
There’s a way we can slip
From his treacherous grip.
Step one: A House vote to impeach.
Then it’s up to the Senate where Mitch
(That Kentuckian son-of-a-bitch)
May be faced with a raucous
Republican caucus
That votes to toss Don in the ditch.
A dream? Yes, perhaps, but my view’s
That there’s more to be heard on the news,
Without interruption
Such sleaze, and corruption
That Senators cannot refuse.
Minor revisions. You might say this deals with a boss, but it also uses “grip.”
—–
Our times have a lesson to teach
About Mr. Trump’s overreach.
There’s a way we can slip
From his treacherous grip.
Step one: A House vote to impeach.
Then it’s up to the Senate where Mitch
(That Kentuckian son-of-a-bitch)
May be faced with a raucous
Republican caucus
That votes to toss Don in the ditch.
A dream? Yes, perhaps, but my view’s
That more’s to be heard on the news,
Without interruption
Such sleaze, and corruption
That Senators cannot refuse.
Also about a boss, with rhyming word “grip.”
The sailors all started to shirk
‘Cause that man at the helm was a jerk.
He soon lost his grip
On the crew of the ship.
He was more Captain Hook than James Kirk.
A boss of a different kind, again with a grip.
“Dominatrix, please wield your swift whip.
Make sure that you keep a tight grip.
And for maximum pain,
Kindly tighten the chain
So your servant will not start to slip.”
My boss just now gave me a file
Containing more work, (I must smile)
Cause it looks very hard
So I shall disregard
It and put in my “never do pile”
I have many a boss in my job
I start working by turning a knob
Of a door; then I see
What’s expected of me
To prevent each from being a slob.
I go in, disinfect, then I freshen
And I hope I make good an impression.
I smile and I jest
Just a-doing my best
Now you’ve probably guessed my profession.
If your boss is a jerk in some way
Who just treats you like crap ev’ry day
Find new work, rise above it,
Then say, “Hey, just shove it!”
Have courage; you’ll love it! Touche!
Your marriage ain’t nothin’ to praise
If one bosses, the other obeys.
If you carry the cross
Where respect is a loss,
Then at least ask the ‘boss’ for a raise!
At the rock climbing wall I did slip
Many times. My instructor did quip,
“You’re too nervous. Just chill
And I know that you will
Be okay if you just get a grip.”
These words have a very bad ring!
And feel like a real nasty sting:
When the boss says, “Hey Joe!
“Are you ready to go?
Cause I need to say just one more thing”
Advice To The New Girl
With this job, there is no way to win
So here is a way to begin
A tactic that works
When bosses are jerks:
Just smile on the outside, (SCREAM from within)
When my boss comes, my whole body shakes
I get headaches, and ev’ry thing aches
So I found a good way
To get through the day:
I take really long bathroom breaks
The boss said that I can be sure
That “this job is extremely secure
But the permanent glitch
Is that I am a bitch
And as hard as you work, you’ll be poor”
or another way of putting it:
The boss said that I can be sure
“This position’s extremely secure
But there’s just one small snag:
This job is a drag
And as hard as you work, you’ll be poor”
These new shoes that I bought are a rip
Ev’ry time that I wear them I slip
Didn’t know that a pump
Makes you fall on your rump
And that’s cuz they ain’t got no grip
change in punchline!
These words have a very bad ring!
And feel like a real nasty sting!
When the boss says, “Hey Joe!
“Are you ready to go?”
“Cause I want you to do one more thing”
The President says that he’s “hip”
And runs an “extremely tight ship”
But don’t bother him now
Cuz he’s workin’ on how
To master the mighty “death grip”
The boss gives us workers low pays
Yet today, we were all just ablaze
Cuz we found a device
And asked it, (real nice)
“Alexa! Please give us a raise”
OR: Put Another Way
The boss gives us workers low pay
Thus it’s hard to get through ev’ry day
But we found a device
And asked it (real nice)
“Alexa! Please send him away”
Now give it a really tight grip
And then my dear, just let it rip
So do it my way
It feels good to play
And that is today’s golfing tip
I’d say that this job is ideally
The right one for me, (Oh, and really)
My boss is so nice
But he’s got just one vice
And that is he’s too touchy feely
The top dog at my firm is a jerk:
Always leering and touching at work.
But they laughed sans restraint
At my HR complaint,
Now the bitch makes me bump, grind, and twerk.
Dominatrix, Lolita von Strippe,
Would give lectures on wielding the whip.
And her parting insight,
As she lashed left and right
Would be, “Darlinks, it’s all in the grip.”
( Both Jack Nicklaus and Ben Hogan injured their hips playing professional
golf)
In golf it is all in the grip
Wear some golf gloves and then it won’t slip
Then you PIVOT and TWIST
Relax; don’t get pissed
If you do, you might Ow Ow your hip
She said I had to do better.
Dominatrix, Lolita von Strippe,
Will work wonders whilst wielding the whip.
“What’s your secret?” some ask,
As she bends to her task.
She says, “Darlinks, it’s all in zer grip.”
It’s love/hate between me and my boss;
When he isn’t disgruntled, he’s cross.
I’ve tried talking things through,
But he tells me, “Go screw!”
Self-employed is less profit, more loss.
The current Limerick-Off ends tomorrow, Saturday, at 10 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.
I am the President, I am the Boss,
Don’t follow me, and it’s your loss.
If you try and impeach
A lesson I’ll teach,
Your choice, you make the toss.
Oh! Sad, how the game it has changed.
With “Me Too”, it’s all rearranged.
Where once a high rank immunity,
While we act with impunity,
Now, to do so’s deranged.
The boss always gives us a greeting
Yet sometimes, we feel like retreating
When he says “Come at 2”
We feel our life’s through
Cuz that means it’s another DAMN MEETING !
His manhood he clutched in a firm grip.
If he wet his pants, his wife would flip.
He made it to the tree,
released a stream of pee.
If he had just remembered to unzip!
The trapeze artist was losing his grip.
He was giddy from the alcohol nip.
Enjoying falling free?
That was from the L.S.D.
He didn’t know it’d be his last trip.
The boss is coming down with the grippe.
He will have to skip his business trip.
Now that gnarled gnome
is playing boss at home.
While chasing his kids, he broke his hip.
While walking the dog, I lost my grip.
That overlong leash caused me to trip.
I’m lying on the ground.
He’s going back to the pound.
Though I’m not that old, I broke my hip.
They can’t think that I’ve lost my grip
So I’ll confuse by just letting rip.
If they try to abuse
I’ll just call it Fake News,
But it will be one hell of a trip.
Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Limerick-Off Award 332. Congratulations to the winners!
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off LOCK.