Limerick-Off Award (325)
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:
A pirate who died in Dakar
Lost his booty at cards in a bar.
Giving up all that loot
Made his chest pains acute.
Sadly, no one there knew CP arrrr.
Congratulations to LISI NORTMAN ARDISSONE, who wins the Special FARM-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick, which is also a SALUTE-rhyme limerick:
Damn toxins get right to the root
And damage the veggies and fruit.
So on Earth Day we tried
To throw them aside,
And a worm gave a grateful salute.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Diane Groothuis, David Reddekopp, Tim James, Kirk Miller, and David Friedman. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: “LOOT or LUTE or SALUTE” RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO FARM LIMERICKS)
Lisi Nortman Ardissone:
Las Vegas has riveting charm,
But it also can cause you much harm;
If you aren’t astute,
You can lose all your loot.
So remember: Don’t bet the whole farm!
HONORABLE MENTIONS (“LOOT or LUTE or SALUTE” RHYME DIVISION)
Diane Groothuis:
A flautist who played on a flute
And a lutenist playing a lute
Went busking one day,
But they lost all their pay
As the looter was much more astute.
David Reddekopp:
The prez is an ignorant brute,
An orangutan stuffed in a suit.
He, for all of his days
Seeks unwarranted praise,
But I’ll give the one-finger salute.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (FARM LIMERICK DIVISION)
Tim James:
Farmer Bob gave a new crop a try
When his cash flow went badly awry.
The results have been grand:
Now supply and demand
Keep his profits and customers high.
Kirk Miller:
From the past, U.S. farmers don’t learn.
Lots of topsoil’s eroded; they yearn
For rich, fertile soil
In which they can toil.
Lack of dirt is a growing concern.
Lisi Nortman Ardissone:
The stampede of the cows caused him harm.
Then the pigs went and chewed off his arm.
From this horror he dropped,
Till his breathing had stopped.
(The old codger had bought the whole farm.)
David Friedman:
A horny cheese-farmer named Jay
Would shtup his poor cows every day.
The cows would start chewing
When he started spewing,
But it never did get in his whey.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: David Friedman, David Reddekopp, Diane Groothuis, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
