Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TOE or TOW or CHATEAU at the end of any one line
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TOE or TOW or CHATEAU at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to JOINTS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best JOINTS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 8, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 7, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Sally’s stay at a lovely chateau
Was marred when her pastry chef beau
Tried to skip on the bill.
Seems his favorite thrill
Is freedom from parting with dough.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
A nasty old bastard named Joe
Once frigged a dead whore with his toe.
He said, “When my jam
Came loose in her clam
It stanched the putrescent green flow.”
Certain injuries carry some class
(Like bursitis post-Hail Mary pass);
Post-Red Hen, there’ll be those
Who show off their sore toes
After kicking Trump clowns in the ass.
Donald yearns for the days long ago
When “their place” was what “that kind” should know,
Back before Left-run schools
Said a “tiger” (the fools!)
Was what Eeny should catch by the toe.
There are sex joints for prosties and panders;
There are card joints for slick sleight-of-handers;
But the joint that I choose
Is the one that made news
Kicking out Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
Said his surgeon: “It’s gangrene, those pains
In your foot, caused by varicose veins.
We must cut off your toe.”
Donald screamed, “Oh, please, no!
That’s the place where I keep all my brains!”
Her car’d broken down in Nantucket.
A driver pulled up. She said, “Fuck it!
The engine won’t go,
Could you give me a tow?”
So he pulled off a shoe and said “Suck it.”
A new doctor in town, they call “Flo”
Is supposedly right “in the know”
My ingrown hurt bad
But she said, “Sorry, Chad
My specialty’s just the third toe”
Marie-Antoinette lived in a chateau
With a lake and a dear little bateau.
When the peasants, ill-fed,
Cried “We’ve run out of bread!”
Her solution was “Let them eat gateau.”
When the lights all go out, you will know
Where the furniture is, even though
The house is real dark
You’ll still hear this remark:
“God dammit! I just stubbed my toe!”
“He’s so double-jointed!” they said.
With my left hand, while lying in bed,
I could touch my left ear –
Let me make myself clear –
Having passed round the back of my head.
(Yes, when I was young, I really could do that. I could also touch my elbows together behind my back.)
He said that he had a “chateau”
Where “good wine and cuisine overflow”
But things went awry
And I started to cry
Cause Joe Schmo took me straight to skid row
My mother just sways to and fro
Her brother lays carpeting, (Joe)
My father is Pete
And his specialty’s “feet”
We all them “Tic Tac and Toe”
OOPS! (sorry)
My mother just sways to and fro
Her cousin lays carpeting, (Joe)
My dad’s name is Pete
And his specialty’s “feet”
We all call them “Tic Tac and Toe”
At ‘The Family Butcher’, they say
Half their family vanished away.
When they looked in the shop
They found joints of Grandpop,
Leg of Dad, and poor Mother’s filet.
The bimbo was down on her knees
And her elbows, attempting to please.
But when he’d said “Well,
A few joints would be swell”,
He wasn’t referring to these.
A bald-headed baker from Stowe
Had many admirers in tow.
When asked for the key
To this a-nom-a-ly
He replied : ‘ They’re just after my dough!’
A gumptious young man from Bordeaux
Inherited papa’s château.
He opened its doors
To historical tours
And a ‘bats in the belfry sideshow.
My joints are engendering such pain,
And I’ll never do handstands again.
As for pliés – no chance
And a hot salsa dance
Would result in a gluteal strain.
Arriving in Hell, Trump laments
“This joint isn’t worth twenty cents!
Where’s my sweet golden showers,
Just like in Trump Towers?”
The Devil replies, “Here’s Mike Pence.”
Said the lass to the big-footed trucker,
“Can you tow me?” — eyes wide, lips a-pucker.
“I sure can, dear — let’s go!”
Whereupon his big toe
Was employed by the trucker to fuck her.
She fell for a handsome new beau
Who claimed that he owned a chateau.
But later, the lass
Had to pay for some gas;
To help make his minivan go.
The process had started real slow;
Its slipping before letting go.
Now freed from my hand
Seeking somewhere to land;
No doubt it’ll head to my toe.
NOT A TRUE STORY
In Phantom, a musical show,
There’s a moment of “Look out below!”
The chandelier crashes.
The panicked crowd dashes,
And that’s how I broke my big toe.
In Denver, the latest advice
Is that grass can be bought for half price
At a store that gives points
When you buy twenty joints
Every month that you shop at least twice.
JOINTS
Doctor Quack was an infamous schemer
Who was know for his work on the “femur”
This man would just doze
Just before he would “close”
It seems “doc’ was also a dreamer
Here’s a clever and very wise rule
Just listen and don’t be a fool:
If you have a sixth toe
Cut it off and then go
Bequeath it to “Pedicure School”
HIP JOINT
I do not recommend Doctor Cockit
(To fame, he did recklessly rocket)
He always gets drunk
Then smells like a skunk
And can’t tell a ball from a socket
syllable mistake in line one of above limerick (“HIP JOINT”)
It’s not smart to use Doctor Cockit
(To fame, he did recklessly rocket)
He always gets drunk
Then smells like a skunk
And can’t tell a ball from a socket
sorry, Mad: I just noticed another syllable problem so I’ll will give this one another try: “JOINTS”
The surgeon was quite a known schemer
His specialty:”Fixing The Femur”
This doc would just doze
Right before he would “close”
It seems he was also a dreamer
I was feeling such terrible grief
And I needed some real quick relief
The doc asked, “Which toe?”
So I bent down to show
Him the piggy who had the roast beef
In our newly-acquired chateau
We’ll hang priceless pictures for show
I’ve got screws, bolts and nails
And if all else fails
I can use my great big hammer toe
When a ball joint rubs against a bone,
You limp around in pain and just groan,
It’s time for a new hip,
So hold tight, get a grip,
Not something that you just can postpone.
Smoked a joint at Joe’s Joint for the pain,
My sore hip joint has been my life’s bane,
I got a new hip,
Now life’s a fun trip,
But I’ll hang out at Joe’s just the same.
Smoked a joint at Joe’s Joint for the pain,
My sore hip joint has been my life’s bane,
I got a new hip,
Now life’s a fun trip,
But I’ll hang out at Joe’s just the same.
A critical joint is my knee
It helps me bend down and then see:
A creepy ‘ole bug
Having fun on my rug
I think I’ll stand up. You agree?
JOINTS: (my own experience 2 years ago)
When the hip is replaced, you’re not done
So to speak, you have only begun
The exercise drill
Which makes you feel ill
Now doesn’t that sound like great fun?
When all us old bags feel a pain
Our joints travel right to the brain
We can’t “do” lunch today
Cause the sky is real gray
And our bones tell us it’s ‘gonna rain
There once was a man on the go
who ended up breaking his toe.
Insurance insisted
the pain pre-existed,
and all he could do was cry, “No!”
A surgeon has patients who know
They’d better have plenty of dough.
He fixes their joints
Where a valet appoints;
It’s known as the Faux-Knee Chateau.
Every morning, I hear a loud crack
It sounds like a walnut attack
I’m not disappointed
Cause I know I’m disjointed
But my body won’t cut me no slack
KNEE JOINT
I have a new knee now instead
Of the old one that really felt dead
So now I work out
Here’s what it’s about:
I climb all the stairs to my bed
Modestie Monsieur
Nouveau riche, Monsieur Henri Marceau,
Brought some friends to admire his chateau;
But his sangfroid dissolved
When the Mistral resolved
To make sport and removed his chapeau.
Carefree Joints
For a lifetime of trouble-free use
Avoid stresses and outright abuse.
Excess running, hard work –
There’s no shame if you shirk;
And make friends with a comely masseuse.
Better, I think.
Carefree Joints
For a lifetime of trouble-free use
Avoid stresses and outright abuse.
Excess running, hard work –
There’s no shame if you shirk;
You’ll have time to refine your excuse.
It’s Time For Your Renewal
“Hips and knees do not last, don’t you know,”
Said the surgeon, his visage aglow.
“But fear not! We’ll make new
What is worn and askew.
Once recovered, you’ll get up and GO!!”
HIP JOINT
There are some things that you must resist
If your hip’s replaced, “docs” do insist:
You must not bend down
Or you’ll fall on your crown
You may shout, but just don’t do the twist
KNEE JOINT
I tried this new stuff in a jar
Which claims it will help you “run far”
It oils up your knees
So that running’s a breeze
(And it also works great on your car)
HIP JOINT
I came home and just started to shout
I got a new hip, but had doubt:
Something fell on the floor
Right near my front door
It seems one of the Lego’s fell out
I went to a famous chateau
For a taste of some “Charlotte Gateau”
The cake was divine
And so was the wine
But the castle was (eh) just so so
JOINTS
She told me, “Hey Jim, go to hell
The places you take me just smell”
I said, “Ill do better”
(I can not forget ‘er)
This weekend we’ll “do” Taco Bell
The challenge was touching your toe;
Bent over, how low could you go?
Years later, we’re told
That instruction was sold
By pill makers needing to grow.
She coaxed him inside her chateau,
Whining and dragging one toe.
Broken out of the Joint,
A fully grown point-
Er: sweet dog, full reprieve from Death Row.
Sex games took place in the chateau
Year ’round whether sunshine or snow.
Locals got their first inkling,
Madame’s voice was heard tinkling:
How charming, naught on but that bow!
When in love, you will kiss a girl’s feet
Every part of her just tastes so sweet
But as both of you grow
You’ll kiss only one toe
And find that’s enough of a treat
JOINTS
I hail from the great “Garden State”
Where the diners are really just great
Yet they’re not all “five star”
So get back in your car
If the bugs do a dance on your plate
better meter, “joints”
I have a new knee now instead
Of the old one that really felt dead
So now I work out
Here is what it’s about:
I climb all the stairs to my bed
Whenever I’d slow dance with Joe
He’d carelessly step on my toe
Now we dance far apart
Still I don’t have the heart
To say, “You’re a real klutzy schmo”
Maria would suck on my toe
I guess she was not “in the know”
It kinda’ felt good
But she misunderstood
That it really was quite a low blow
Boomer’s medical supply:
We’ve new body parts, if you please;
We’ll sell you a hip or some knees.
Our premium stuff
Can be seen in the buff;
(There’s no volume discount for these).
KNEE JOINT CHANGE “IN” TO “FROM” (line one)
I tried this new stuff FROM a jar
Which claims it will help you “run far”
It oils up your knees
So that running’s a breeze
(And it also works great on your car)
another correction of above limerick
I tried this new stuff FROM a jar
Which claims it will help you”GO far”
It oils up your knees
So that running’s a breeze
(And it also works great on your car)
They bought a new trailer to tow.
Within twenty minutes or so,
It started to sway
As they hauled it away;
Vacation plans suffered a blow…
(This happened yesterday in WA state)
I wondered, when handed the ointment,
Exactly what “rub on your joint” meant,
‘Cause needless to say,
I was wasted that day.
And that reefer? A big disappointment.
Lady ‘G’
“All of ninety and still on the go –
And she’s always a fella in tow.
I’m all envy, of course,
And would fain know the source
Of what gives her her get up and glow.”
Lady ‘G’
“All of ninety and raring to go –
And she’s always a fella in tow.
I’m all envy, of course,
And would fain know the source
Of what gives her her get up and glow.”
“Ninety plus and she’s still on the go:
Someone told me she never says, “No!”
She has chaps standing by
With a glint in each eye;
And shows no signs of taking it slow.”
“Ninety-nine: seems she’s losing some drive.
Death came knocking, so will she revive?
Poor ol’ Death! No decease;
He’s extended her lease –
And agreed to renew every five.”
A better Title
Lady ‘G’: A Grip Firmer Than Most
“All of ninety and raring to go –
And she’s always a fella in tow.
I’m all envy, of course,
And would fain know the source
Of what gives her her get up and glow.”
“Ninety plus and she’s still on the go:
Someone told me she never says, “No!”
She has chaps standing by
With a glint in each eye;
And shows no signs of taking it slow.”
“Ninety-nine: seems she’s losing some drive.
Death came knocking, so will she revive?
Poor ol’ Death! No decease;
He’s extended her lease –
And agreed to renew every five.”
Sufferers will understand.
Gout: Guerrilla Warfare – A Joint Operation
It attacks, unannounced, in one spot,
Then retrenches and takes its next shot.
Ankles, knees and big toes –
Sometimes heels; then it goes
And resurfaces where it was not.
Revised.
Lady ‘G’: A Grip Firmer Than Most
“All of ninety and raring to go –
And she’s always a suitor in tow.
I’m all envy, of course,
And would fain know the source
Of what gives her her get up and glow.”
“Ninety plus and she’s still on the go:
And I’m told that she never says, “No!”
She has chaps standing by
With a glint in each eye;
And no sign that she’s ready to slow.”
“Ninety-nine: seems she’s losing her drive.
Death came knocking; so, will she revive?
Poor old Death! No decease;
He’s extended her lease –
And agreed to renew every five.”
At the annual “Petrified Show”
Was a fossil from real long ago:
A fifty foot nail
That smelled putrid and stale
Which was severed from Big Foot’s third toe
The problem with any chateau
Is its size and you just will not know
How to locate the loo
You might pee on your shoe
And sometimes you just ‘gotta go
A pedicure’s ($) fifty, although
You might pay them much less than you owe
And if you ask, “Why?”
They will surely reply:
“It took time to adorn your sixth toe”
JOINTS
The hip “replace” really is dandy
As easy as eating some candy
They put you to sleep
So there’s no need to weep
(And staples come in mighty handy)
There’s a sandal that’s called, “Just The Best”
And the “gals” will be mighty impressed
Each foot bares one toe
So your friends will not know
That you haven’t washed all of the rest
I had to approach my boss, Joe
And tell him that I’d like to know:
Why he’s acting so mean
And he said, “My dear Jean,
I just started out on the wrong toe”
“There’s no need for therapy, Flo
Just go get a pedicure, so
As she’s painting the nails
Tell her all your sad tales
It’s “one private heart ache per toe”
Mad: above limerick should read “Tell her all YOUR sad tales”
not all “YOU sad tales”(line four)
Could you please add the “r” for me?
Thank You
Lisi
***
Done.
I’ve got yuck on the nail of my toe.
And the fungus is starting to glow.
What’s more, now my pinky
Has turned yellow and stinky.
It’s my fault; I’ve let foot hygiene go.
Homemade brownies, when laced with strong grass
Taste like shit—so, no thanks–I will pass.
As for smoking a joint,
Really, what is the point?
A dispensary has much more class!
She went to a gardening show;
Along with her husband in tow.
Though lifeless in bed,
He’ll plant flowers instead;
At least he can make something grow…
I went to the “Israeli Show”
So that I could be well in the know
Then I saw a girl’s coochie
She looked like a hoochie
I think that’s what’s called “camel toe”
Mad: sorry to bother you again:
Line two should read: So THAT I could be well in the know
Could you squeeze in “that” between “So” and “I” ?
Thank you
Lisi
****
Done, though I assume you didn’t want it emphasized in all caps.
We went to a famous chateau
My “hubby” drank lots of Bordeaux
He got so damn ripped
That he fell and then slipped
Smack into the edge of a couteau
(actually found in the U.S. “antennaria alpina” )
In the mail, was a gift from “My Joe”
Now I’m certain that he is my beau
The card said, “Dear Sue
This reminds me of you
It’s an “Alpine Cat’s Foot Pussy Toe”
REVISION FOR METER
We went to a famous chateau
My hubby drank too much Bordeaux
He got so damn ripped
That he fell and then slipped
And got knifed by an antique couteau
genus: “antennaria flagellaris”(flower in the daisy family)
really does exist. better meter:
In the mail was a gift from “My Joe”
Now I’m certain that he is my beau
The card said, “Dear Sue
This reminds me of you
It’s a genuine “whip pussy toe”
Less Is More
With the innocent look of a doe
She will massage and suck his big toe;
But the purity’s shed
Once her prey rears its head,
And… No! Sorry! That’s censored; can’t show.
Said Bill Clinton, “That joint was a fail;
Didn’t count ’cause I didn’t inhale.
Just like Monica’s mouth –
Since I never went south,
Wasn’t sex, ’cause I didn’t impale.
“Them Achin’ Joints”
“Dear Sue, I must make you aware
That in fact, in this house lives a bear
You first hear a growl
And then a loud howl”
(“It’s just “gramps” getting out of his chair”)
Judge Kennedy says “Gotta go.
You’re concerned about Wade versus Roe?
Do I look, as I quit,
Like I give one damned shit?
I don’t care, from my head to my toe.”
More Achin’ Joints
We’re taking “Ole Gramps” to the fair
We want him to get some fresh air
It starts there at noon
But we better leave soon
He needs time to get out of that chair
Christmas Joint Pain
Dear Santa now has a bad hip
He’s afraid on the ice he will slip
So he sends all his elves
To bring gifts by themselves
(They insist that you give them a tip)
Knee Joint Pain
On my knees I applied some Ben Gay
Then I cried, “Oh please pain go away!”
But my wife said it stunk
Made me smell like a skunk
She leaving me (thank God) today
I put in an ad that just said:
“I really feel like I am dead
I need new hips and knees
Or if you so please
I’ll take a new body instead”
(I gather that the Mayor of London has refused permission, but the organizers are still looking for a way … )
They’re preparing a wonderful show
To greet Baby Trump. To and fro
Over London, they’ll fly
A balloon in the sky
From a string on his fat little toe.
She tickled me with her big toe
My ding-a-ling started to grow
I raised a red flag
So that things wouldn’t drag
Then shouted, “Hey look out below!”
She was poised on the tip of her toe
In “Swan Lake”. Said the Donald, “Ya know,
Ballet’s not up my street,
But her pussy looks sweet;
I’ll be grabbing it after the show.”
So here’s how his morning would go:
He started off stubbing a toe.
The car wouldn’t start;
Then a seatmate did fart
On a crowded bus going too slow.
Arriving at work rather late,
His boss – a real jerk – hollered “Nate!
We’re giving your job
To a newbie named Rob;
And you’re taking mine – which you’ll hate.”
A woman had leased a chateau
On a beach in pursuit of a beau.
But the men there weren’t cute;
They were all too hirsute
On that island of Dr. Moreau.
My Toe surgery, 2005 (DON’T HAVE IT!)
For surgery on by big toe
Doctor Quack put the needle in slow
When it hit my large vein
I didn’t complian
I just screamed like a tormented crow
The Handmaid’s Tale?
“Well, the President stubbed his big toe;
I was there to give ‘aide’, as you know.
I thought, ‘Hail to the Chief!
How to give him relief?’
He said could I rub it, then blow.”
The Handmaid’s Tale?
“Well, the President stubbed his big toe;
I was there to give ‘aide’, as you know.
I thought, ‘Hail to the Chief!
How to give him relief?’
He said I should rub it, then blow.”
Please disregard previous.
The Handmaid’s Tale?
“Well, the President stubbed his big toe;
I was there to give ‘aide’, as you know.
I thought, ‘Hail to the Chief!
How to give him relief?’
He suggested I rub it, then blow.”
She had such a sweet-smelling toe
I’m shy, but I just had to know:
“What’s that marvelous spice
That makes you smell nice?”
“It’s pickle juice mixed with Merlot”
I’ve got twenty five lovers in tow
And, Baby, I just won’t let go
But they’re all ninety five
(Are they really alive?)
Not one of them knows it should grow
another version
I’ve got twenty five lovers in tow
I’m ready to give it a go
But they’re all ninety five
(Are they really alive?)
And what’s worse, they FORGOT how to grow
Monica: The Handmaid’s Tale?
“Well, the President stubbed his big toe;
I was there as an ‘aide’, as you know.
I thought, ‘Hail to the Chief!
How to give him relief?’
He suggested I rub it, then blow.”
Innocence: A Broad
“Mister President! That’s not your toe.
If it were, rest assured, I would know.
That looks cross. Does it hurt?
Oh, I see! It’s alert:
And it’s so glad to see me. ‘Hello!’”
The nurse spoke on “Doc” Smith’s behalf:
(He jests), but your hip made him “laugh”
“It must be replaced
And please do it with haste;
It’s agreed by the “Joint Chiefs Of Staff”
“I really have heart-felt concern
Yet there’s something that you need to learn
Your replacement did fail
And “Doc” Smith went to jail
But our policy’s “No Joint Return”
My darling, I want you to know
That I’ll be your most reverent beau
Tonight we shall dine
On frittatas and wine
At my marvelous “Slum Bag Chateau”
better
The nurse spoke on” Doc” Smith’s behalf
(He jests), but your hip made him “laugh”
“It must be replaced
And please do it with haste
It’s approved by our “Joints Chiefs Of Staff”
Mad: line five of above limerick: could you please change
“It’s agreed by our” to “It’s approved by our”
Thank You
Lisi
*********
Done.
Eur -EEK – a!
Mister President! That’s not a toe.
If it were, I believe I would know.
Am I shocked? Not a bit.
Do I swallow or spit?
Oh, my word! Mister president, Whoa!!”
Less Is More
With the innocent look of a doe
She will massage and suck his big toe;
But the purity’s shed
Once her prey rears its head,
And… No, sorry! The censor says, “Whoa!!”
The REAL Story:
There was a young girl, “Cinderella”
Who loved a real charming-like fella
But she started to cough
Her glass slipper fell off
(This chick went and broke her patella)
Another Version
There was a young girl, “Cinderella”
Who loved a real charming-like fella
When her slipper came off
She fell into a trough
Which caused her to break her patella
‘Twas the girls’ night out to Rhyl
Everyone dressed to kill
Seats in the front row
Spare knickers in tow
Tom Jones was topping the bill !
The duchess had herself a new beau
Who delighted in sucking her toe
Ensuing pics X rated
Left her humiliated
And the queen crying ‘She’s got to go!’
I once knew a woman named Lee;
What a great source of fun she could be!
Always good for a buzz,
Double-jointed she was.
That’s to say: one for her, one for me.
I saw my devoted friend, Faye
She asked, “How ‘ya doin’ today?”
“I’ve got bad hips and knees
I feel constant unease,
But other than that, I’m okay”
As a senior, my knees just won’t flex
Life is certainly now more complex
They’re rigid and tight
And try as I might
It’s so goddamn hard to have sex
Eur – EEK – a!
Mister President! That’s not a toe.
If it were, I believe I would know.
Am I shocked? Well, a bit.
Do I swallow or spit?
Oh, my word! Mister President, Whoa!!”
I have never been one to complain
And have treated decline with disdain:
But of late, when I sip,
I keep losing my grip,
And the spillage hurts more than the pain.
I needed a cure for my toe
For the pain, I went to and then fro
Saw five hundred “docs”
Tried all kinds of socks
At last, got new shoes, whad’ya know !
Better in context.
Hoots, Mon!
Ah was nary a one tae complain
And Ah’ve treated decline wi’ disdain:
But of late, when Ah sip,
Ah keep losin’ ma grip,
An’ the spillage hurts more than the pain.
Are you thinking you’ll go toe to toe
With this hooker? (You know she’s a pro.)
Why not just settle back
And enjoy her attack,
Then savor her moves blow by blow.
Best We Forget
In my youth I knew nothing of dread,
Leapt, gazelle like, each morning from bed.
But today, should I leap,
I’d collapse in a heap;
Seems the springbok within me has fled.
BRAVERY
The Tin Man felt sorrow and stress
His joints needed oil, nonetheless
He walked the brick road
Just carried his load
(And the movie was quite a success)
My Labrador loves tic tac toe
She considers herself quite a pro
Yet I win every game
And it’s really a shame
That she can’t tell an “x” from an “o”
I had such a bad pain in my toe
That I tended to walk really slow
Then I met my friend, Pete
Who said, “See Doctor Feet”
He’s known ’round the world for his “toe know”
There are joints that you’ll find in Dubai
And others you’ll see in Brunei
But the one we love best
Will surpass all the rest
Endures just As all Time Goes By
I have slightly changed above limerick to make it a bit easier to figure out
There are GIN joints you’ll find in Dubai
You may also see some in Brunai
But the one we love best
Will surpass all the rest
AND endure just ” As all Time Goes By”
The current Limerick-Off ends tomorrow, Saturday, at 10 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.
Remembering Mama: (Who can relate?)
My story’s not really a fable
It tells you about my mom, (Mabel)
(It was so long ago)
That she had a sore toe
From kicking Pop under the table
Exercise Class 101
Our lesson is “Touching the Toe”
Let’s start out with dear old friend, Joe
“I know it is there
I will try and say where:
I think it’s down somewhere below”
Exercise class is a breeze
I can do all the work-outs with ease
As for touching my toe
I’m considered a “pro”
But first I must bend both my knees
I was taking a shower, although
I started to feel something grow
Found out it’s a fungus
(That’s really humongous)
The “doc” said I’ve got “Athlete’s Toe”
better (line one) “My”
MY exercise class is a breeze
I can do all the work-outs with ease
As for touching my toe
I’m considered a “pro”
But first, I must bend both my knees
Geometrical reasoning bid
Rick’s triangle and intersections be hid
Laszlo must go
With Ilsa in tow
So: “Here’s looking at Euclid!”
Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Limerick-Off Award 301. Congratulations to the winners!
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Bell.