Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: WEAK or WEEK at the end of any one line
SCHEDULING NOTE: There’s a slight chance that the next (late June) Limerick-Off) might be delayed. If so, I’ll update the title of this post. As for why, my sample limerick below explains all.
And now, it’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WEAK or WEEK at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to VISION or EYES, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best vision/eye-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 24, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 23, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
My first cataract op is this week.
(It appears that my eyes are antique.)
If it all goes sublimely,
My posts will be timely.
If not, I shall shriek a blue streak.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Eyes Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Surgery Limerick, Vision Humor, Writing Prompts
He’s the Rump; he’s the Chump; he’s the Fool;
He’s the “wart on” the famed Wharton School;
From his pocked orange beak
To his brain soft and weak,
He’s the very Commander of Drool.
There’s not a thing wrong with my eyes!
But the newspaper font’s gone half-size,
And my glasses and keys
Disappear with great ease
Till I find them again by surprise.
My joints are beginning to creak,
And my legs are increasingly weak.
But although I am slowing,
My value is growing;
I’ll soon be a priceless antique.
My vision is still pretty hot,
And I don’t use my glasses a lot,
Though I put on my specs
When indulging in sex
To ensure that I find the right spot.
G7 summit ends in disarray
“That Trudeau’s dishonest and weak!
The guy seemed so mild and meek,
But after I’d gone,
His badmouthing went on!”
Donald screamed in a new fit of pique.
Vision
I’ve always loved music, that’s true
But can’t read those notes, so I’m through!
I wanted to play
Like the “greats” of their day:
Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, “Moondog” too
It seems that my eyesight’s grown weak,
Brought home last night: I gave a squeak
When my cat watched a spider
Pause crawling, beside her.
Large lint? No. She crunched it down: eek.
Oh, Leigh babe, you make my bones weak;
He smiled, gave one nipple a tweak.
Though Vera is very
Good, Mona and Sherry,
You rock me. Same time, then, next week?
I wanted to reach my full peak
Then I read in my, “Hunk Of The Week”:
Take garlic and bay
Rub three times a day
I still can’t find a date, cause I reek
Young Tom was a bit of a sneak
And couldn’t resist a quick peek
Through the bedroom keyhole.
Daddy took out his pole…
Fishing. Where is he going this week?
Am I being duped? (vision)
I must take some serious action
I still haven’t reached satisfaction
Blue Cross wipes me out
But I really have doubt
Why I STILL have to pay for refraction
I’m so proud, cause it’s been one whole week
No more diapers, or God-awful reek
But I then heard a splash
So we made a mad dash
To the bathroom (he done sprung a leak)
When Court Falls Short of Expectations
You’re here due to your poor decision,
The judge snorted in wry derision.
You unzipped in the pew,
Stood, yelled,”Miss this yet, Lew?”
Your act is one I can envision.
At least it’s less common and boring
(Some days, I confess, I’m caught snoring).
So…the crowd gasped, then squinted:
All witnesses hinted
They found your behavior deploring
Yet, oddly, stared in your direction,
Reporting they failed at detection
Of what you had brandished.
Meanwhile, Father vanished –
Some said, to prepare for ejection
(While others urged lethal injection).
It could be said your error’s tiny;
You strike me as clueless and whiny.
Although Lou resigned,
This court’s sure you’ll find
A new partner who dotes on your heinie.
Darn it, Mad, last line in Par. 2 should have ended with “deplorable”.
Can you change that last line to “Your question sent blood pressure soaring”? Thanks very much!
Patrice ~
Mad, another error: I apologize. Last paragraph, please change Lou to Lew to match first paragraph. Thanks again!! PS
*****
From Mad Kane:
I’m confused by your requests. Please re-post your limerick and mark it “Revised Limerick.”
“Fake news!” Donald whines every week.
Inarticulacy at its peak?
Though he mumbles and lies,
Don’t award him the prize
Till you’ve heard Sarah Huckabee speak.
Said the Koch Bros “Our reasons for buyin’
That congressman, name of Paul Ryan?
He’s the kind that we seek,
’Cause his intellect’s weak,
And his greed is as solid as iron.”
Here’s the “know-how” of “Let’s Cook This Week”
Listen close to my fool-proof technique:
For vichyssoise soup
Just keep in the loop
And remember you must take a leek
Poor Melania! Week after week
She must live with his putrid physique,
An obscene, flabby belly
That quivers like jelly …
No wonder she can’t bear to peek.
A yellow toupée, far from sleek,
A chin that, though triple, is weak
An ego as big
As a wallowing pig,
But a brain like a pip with no squeak.
The mohel performed with precision,
But how could the poor chap envision
Trump’s dick was his head?
Well, he cut that instead,
And the world said, “A great circumcision!”
Mad, I’ve only just read your own limerick.
Best wishes, too brief for a lim:
May your eyes, like your wit, never dim.
Thanks so much Brian for your kind couplet!
So Friday’s the end of the week
In the sea is the solace I seek
Taking deep breaths I dive
It feels good, I’m alive…
‘Cos sea urchins are not for the weak
My blind lover, I met in “Paree”
He’s vivacious and full of esprit
But I’m ninety years old
And the truth must be told:
He’s “just right” (I ain’t nothin’ to see)
I’m so baffled, I really can’t see,
How some folks are conned to this degree.
They believe the lies,
Not their “lying eyes”,
As the government steals with such glee.
When we’re older, we need stronger glasses,
We’re like straw, no longer lush grasses.
Our bodies may betray,
But our principles stay.
Despite all the loss and impasses.
He can’t stand and mocks folks he deems weak;
Trump’s pompous with such a cruel streak.
He doesn’t have a clue,
How to speak, what to do,
Our future quite truly looks bleak.
(These things can kill you; I’ve tried)
Those trifocals just can’t be beat
Be careful; don’t look at your feet
Just take it real slow
Cause what you don’t know
Is you’re on the wrong side of the street
I may have the answers you seek
How these two kinds of sex are unique.
So here is the moral:
Your day’s made with oral
But anal will make your hole weak.
The good news and the bad news:
With glasses you have a rare power
You can spot every bit of a flower
It’s so crystal-clear
That you grin ear-to-ear
But have you tried taking a shower?
I’m a senior so here’s my decision
Don’t tease me or mock with derision
I’ve a bad wrinkled face
Which is such a disgrace
That I’ll only date men with bad vision
He said, “Let’s have sex twice a week
I really feel I’m at my peak”
Sixty years have gone by
He’s still my “one”guy
Every Christmas, he kisses my cheek
Snip, Snip Here ~
A weakness of vision belies
My antiquity. That’s no surprise.
A doctor’s incision
Improved their precision
(Not guaranteed til my demise).
When something’s not right, you might cry
But others still give it a try
When “Sammy” would dance
We all had a chance
To watch brilliance at work with one eye
The summit already looked bleak
with Trump’s sole demand to be weak.
When Trueau showed class
and wouldn’t kiss ass,
they cried “Go to Hell!” What a week!
Donald’s parrot was learning to speak,
But it said the wrong things through its beak:
“No, the news isn’t fake!”
So they’re going to bake
Parrot pie at the end of the week.
A hooker called “Miss Angelique”
Found that even her spendid technique
Wasn’t working upon
“Mr Fortnight”, her john –
She calls him that, ’cause he’s too weak.
Don’t drink coffee when you’re in the car
You just will not know where you are
When you glasses steam up
And you then drop your cup
You certainly won’t get real far
I bought some new hair dye at “Chic”
I thought I’d apply it next week
Going home in the car
The dog ate the jar
You should see her new lovely blonde streak
He held up some letters to view
Then said, “Try to read just a few”
I looked up and down
And replied with a frown:
“Sorry, Doc, I can’t even see YOU”
The eye doctor finally met ‘er
And certainly wanted to get ‘er
So now in her bed
She assertively said:
Stop asking me “Which way is better”
Mad: (sorry to bother you)
The above limerick, line five is incorrect.
It should read “Stop asking me “Which way is better?”
The word “PLEASE” should not be there.
Could you please delete it for me?
Thank You
***
done
Her body is not for the meek.
One look and she turns strong men weak.
But she’s hardly a prude;
She swims in the nude
And smiles as the men sneak a peek.
At the park in the shade, just last week
I came upon something unique:
A man with three heads
Who was wearing nice threads
Each one had a real weird mystique
Trump while appearing quite meek
Told our allies that he wasn’t weak
And he showed little class
When he kissed Putin’s ass
And his tongue was not in his cheek.
updated version
Trump at the summit last week
Told our allies that he wasn’t weak
But he showed little class
When he kissed Putin’s ass
And his tongue was not in his cheek.
I thought I wrote something unique
By using a brand new technique
A lim’rik so great
Just really first rate
But the punch line was just too darn weak
I came home a bit late, so ashamed
But really I could not be blamed
The wait time for glasses
Was slow as molasses
I guess you could say I was framed
I saw Fred Astaire just last week
I was shocked, cause he looked so darn bleak
I asked, “Where is that SMILE?”
You’ve got fabulous STYLE !!
Cheer up, Babe, let’s dance cheek to cheek!”
I did something real cool last week:
I opened a special boutique
Called “Rare Aberrations
For Nasty Sensations”
(Someone came in and asked for a “freak”)
correction of above limerick
I did something real cool last week
AND opened a special boutique
Called “Rare Aberrations
For Nasty Sensations”
(Someone came in and asked for a “freak”)
I can’t afford glasses and so
I went to the “Broken Specs Show”
There was something right near
That fit only one ear
They said it belonged to van Gogh
I’m annoyed at my dense husband, Fred
Who at times, will act just like he’s dead
He won’t help clean the house
He a shiftless ‘ole spouse
And I think that his “lazy eye’s” spread
“Oh Jim, I met Mary last week
She’s quiet and gentle, (so meek)
She heard Mom had a ring
That was “fit for a king”
“Hey Mike, she ain’t meek—she’s a sneak”
We all just go on week to week
“Way back when” we old gals reached our peak
But we are tenacious
Yet always so gracious
And still think of ourselves as real “chic”
George Washington told them his vision:
“By the voters’ appalling decision,
A dictator rules,
Surrounded by fools …”
“Couldn’t happen!” they laughed with derision.
Dear Polly,
Could you give us just one peaceful week?
I’m so tired of hearing your shriek
My ears are just ringing
From you discordant singing
(I would love to pull off your damn beak)
Revised Limerick: Thanks, Mad!
When Court Falls Short of Expectations
You’re here due to your poor decision,
The judge snorted in wry derision.
You unzipped in the pew,
Stood, yelled, ”Miss this yet, Lew?”
Your act is one I can envision.
(At least it’s less common, not boring:
Some days, I confess, I’m caught snoring.)
Those present gasped, squinted;
All witnesses hinted
Your question sent blood pressure soaring.
Yet, most folks stared in your direction,
Reporting they failed at detection
Of what you had brandished.
Meanwhile, Father vanished –
Some thought, to await his ejection
(While others urged lethal injection).
No sentence, your error is tiny;
Lew’s well shut of you: clueless, whiny.
But because lust is blind,
This court’s sure you’ll find
A new partner who dotes on your heinie.
They finished: he, feverish, weak,
Urged on by her satisfied squeak.
Ran him ragged all night.
Came the bright morning light,
Him at work: ached to leak, less than peak
(And he’ll go back for more the next week).
I bought lipstick at “Joli Boutique”
The salesman had quite a physique
I tried to act cool
And said, like a fool:
“Can you help with this? I’m a bit weak”
The nuns had a meeting last week
The topic was, “How to be Meek”
But right in the park
Was a man who was “stark”
And they just had to take a sneak peek
There’s no one who reaches perfection
As seniors, we need God’s protection
When the eye sight goes bad
In truth we are glad
We can’t see our own true reflection
correction of line 5
I bought lipstick at “Joli Boutique”
The salesman had quite a physique
I tried to act cool
And said like a fool:
Can you carry this, please? I’m real weak.
There’s a myth that my mom used to tell:
“Self-abuse” shoots your eyesight to hell
Quite inexorably.
But that’s bunk. I can see
Ev’ry hair on my palms very well.
Visine never works, ‘cause I blink,
And the drops just land right in the sink.
Down my cheeks the tears roll
I’ve got zero control;
So my eyes remain itchy and pink.
Ten pull-ups? No way—I’m too weak.
At sixty, I’m kind of antique.
You want to see “grim?”
Come with me to the gym!
The spectacle’s laughably bleak.
I had to say, “Bye” and “Farewell”
To my eye doctor, Sidney Seewell
Cause he thought he was funny
Or should I say, “punny”
And his jokes were are corneas hell
It’s true even now as I speak—
The lim’rick’s no place for the meek.
You have to be strong
As the hours get long.
Seven days of this stuff makes one weak.
Imagine (you can!) my surprise
When did it on only two tries.
Fixed each cataract
Yes he did! That’s a fact.
And he did it by dotting my eyes.
We had triplets, (It felt really nice)
But they just would not take our advice!
We said, “Get you eyes checked;
They do not look correct”
They REFUSED!! (Now we’ve got three blind mice)
Manafort’s going to jail.
The Feds are revoking his bail.
His will was too weak.
He decided to sneak
And to speak to a witness–BIG FAIL!!
At the doctor’s, I met my friend, “Di”
(Her brain power isn’t too high)
The next day, she was glad
Cause she came to my pad
With mascara to match my pink eye
The surgeon believed it was wise
To operate on his own eyes.
His team expressed doubt
When the scalpel came out.
“Suture self!” were his colleagues’ replies.
Snow White wore a billowy dress;
The dwarfs numbered seven, no less.
Whenever they tried
To peek up inside,
Just Sneezy was easy to guess.
A common cartoonist technique
Is drawing a mouse. You scream “eek!”
And jump on a chair
Conveniently there.
Last panel is typically weak.
If you have a stomach that’s weak
Do not dine on bubble and squeak.
Avoid food that’s British
And you won’t get skittish.
An example of Realpolitik.
If you have a stomach that’s weak
Do not dine on bubble and squeak.
Avoid food that’s British
And you won’t get skittish.
An example of Realpolitik.
“Our allies are wimpy and weak;
It’s mean, little tough guys I seek.
Like Putin and Kim,
With them I can swim.”
While leaving a big, slimy streak…
At my age, there’s not much to see
And my lady friends all do agree
The men look so shaggy
Their clothes are real baggy
I’ll stay home and watch blurry T.V.
minor correction
At my age there’s not much to see
And my lady friends all do agree
The men look so shaggy
Their clothes are real baggy
I stay home and watch blurry T.V.
We play Bingo on Saturday night
God knows why, we all have such bad sight
The numbers, not clear
We also can’t hear
So we come for the free Diet Sprite
We just love that new “audio book”
You can “read” but do not have to look
The problem then lies
Not just with our eyes
But those words sound like gobbledgook
another minor adjustment
We just love that new “audio book”
You can “read” but do not have to look
The problem then lies
Not just with our eyes:
Those darn words sound like gobbledgook
My hearing is getting real weak
It feels like the future is bleak
My good friend, Sophia
Said, “Let’s go see “Medea”
But to me, it all sounded like Greek
NOT A DUPLICATE
We play Bingo EACH Saturday night
God knows why, we all have such bad sight
The numbers: not clear
We also can’t hear
So we come for the free Diet Sprite
VISION THEME
Obscene phone calls are targeting me
Then I answer but do not foresee:
Those real nasty words
Which are spoken by “turds”
Cause I can’t read my “caller I.D.”
The pound is increasingly weak,
And the outcome for Brexit is bleak.
“I shall do it MY way!”
Insists Mrs May,
Which is why Britain’s right up the creek.
OTT … I hope
Our new concentration camps – great!
But they’re getting so crowded … oh, wait;
Those fossil fuel guys
Have got huge gas supplies.
Here’s my vision: we’ll just fumigate.
Them dissenters – now, how can I mute ‘em?
I haven’t the brains to refute ’em.
I asked Kim last week
How to deal with this clique.
“No problem,” he said, “Execute ’em.”
“What a vision! Oh, what a delight!”
Said the hooker to Donald that night
As he grunted with lust …
She threw up in disgust
Once the moron had gone out of sight.
We seniors go on week to week
And truthfully, here’s what we seek:
It’s something real great
Which we can’t overstate
Not to get up all night for a leak
A gal with an awesome physique
And a smile that’s sublime and unique
Fills my every need
With both ardor and speed.
(It’s my third trip to Hooters this week.)
“My sweet darling lover, Monique
Let us take a vacation this week
We’ll take a big boat
Find a place that’s remote
To assure I won’t be up the creek”
“EYES” THEME:
Every week I get these God damn styes
Then I go to the “doc” cause I’m wise
When I’m called to her room
I say, “Va va va VOOM”
Cause she’s truly a sight for sore eyes
BETTER VERSION OF “EYES” THEME
Every week, when I get these damn styes
I go to the “doc” cause I’m wise
When called to her room
I say “Va va va Voom”
(She is truly a sight for sore eyes)
A vision from Hell
Since Putin goes riding half-dressed
To show off his muscular chest,
Donald thought he would do it,
But Pruitt said “Screw it!
You’d look like you wear a ‘Mae West’!”
(… if anyone still knows what they were)
Mae West
“You claim to be Christian? Come, come”,
Said his pastor. “They say that you’re dumb?
Be a man, don’t be weak,
Learn to turn th’other cheek.”
So Donald exposed his whole bum.
Mesmerised, unable to speak
I’m feeling decidedly weak
Glued to the telly
Legs turned to jelly
At the sight of Poldark’s physique
Well, my poetic skills remain weak,
Although each essay gets a big tweak
As I try to align
Every meter and rhyme.
Still, the best only rise to “unique.”
I put on an act as a freak
If needed I’ll break some guy’s beak
But my charms are ample
Want to see a sample?
Oh nobody dares call me “weak”
I just saw my dear “Nana”last week
And she gave me a real cool antique
It’s called “rotary” phone
(With a really weird tone)
And this GIANT receiver, to speak
My eyes are just getting so weak
(So I thought I was being real “chic”)
And throw coins in a stream
Oh WOW! did I scream!
At the man right there taking a leak
My eye “doc” has one special chart
For patients who aren’t real smart
I could not read one letter
It really upset ‘er
She told me, “Go home, you old fart”
Ray Charles was so grand, (what a prize)
George Shearing, a genius, (so wise)
Stevie Wonder’s amazing
We never stop praising
These phenomenal men with “no eyes”
When we met it was love at first sight,
Then we blindly pursued each delight.
But since Mad’s “Eye Surgery,”
Some call it perjury
When she STILL swears I’m cute. That’s my plight.
*** This limerick should serve as a cautionary warning. If you’re smart you’ll never consider using a word like SURGERY as the LAST WORD for any line.
Why? Because not much rhymes with surgery, but being the stubborn bastard that I am, I was determined to make this one work.
Some women pretend to be weak;
While dating, they’re mild, shy and meek.
But once the deal’s sealed,
Then all is revealed
As he learns of her mean nasty streak.
ONE WORD CHANGE, LINE FIVE
Ray Charles was so grand, (what a prize)
George Shearing, a genius, (so wise)
Stevie Wonder’s amazing
We never stop praising
These phenomenal STARS with “no eyes”
We purchased a brand new TV
That won’t let us hear what we see.
With minuscule speakers,
The voices are squeakers
And bass has the buzz of a bee.
A sound bar, our rep did propose;
Her store offered plenty of those.
But some of us rubes
Like adjustable cubes;
Still stuck in the past, I sub-Bose.
My eyesight had never been keen
Thick lenses since I was a teen
I suffered a tear
But now I don’t care
With surgeries all can be seen!
When my make up’s applied, I get praise
For my beauty, I try different ways
But now with these specs
I can see the effects
Of a face that has seen better days
My boyfriend said, “I’m a real hunk,
Cause I have really sizable junk”
But now with these specs
Every time we have sex
I can “see” that was full-of -shit bunk
EYES THEME
This chick doesn’t know that I’m wise
But yet, she repeatedly tries
To con me for money
And says she’s my “honey”
(I can see through her big “lyin’ eyes”)
EYES THEME
correction of line four: NOT “she’s my” but” I’M HER”
This chick doesn’t know that I’m wise
But yet, she repeatedly tries
To con me for money
And says, I’M HER “honey”
(I can see through her big “lyin’ eyes”)
My parrot has quite a sharp beak —
I discovered, chagrined, late last week.
As I do every night,
Ran my street. In my flight,
He taught me to dress, not to streak.
He sat on a boat in the bay
And stared at his phone come what may.
Whale watchers nearby
Claim he never did spy
That dorsal fin ten feet away.
(Sadly, a true story)
All lim’riks require technique
And they’re certainly not for the meek
It’s “a-a-b-b-a”
Simply, no other way
I writing one. Come back next week.
Now what is your secret technique
For a lim’rik poem just so unique?
“You must count every word
Till the eye sight’s real blurred
It’s correct, when you’re feeling real weak”
Mad: above limerick. line three: should read
You MUST count every word. Could you change that for me?
Thank You
Lisi
*****
Done.
VISION THEME
While driving to ‘Ole Kelly’s Bar
I could only see things that were “far”
And when they are close
I just feel so morose
So perhaps, I should get a new car
My computer broke down just last week
The technician had quite a physique
So I got in the nude
He was not the mood
BAD LUCK! I had hots for a “geek”
CORRECTION OF LINE FIVE
NOT A DUPLICATE
All lim’riks require technique
And they’re certainly not for the meek
It’s “a-a-b-b-a”
Simply, no other way
I’M writing one. Come back next week.
Ways of earning honest money I seek,
My boss thinks I am too meek,
For a job in sales,
Where my lying fails,
And I am looking forward to the end of the week!
Our vision gets worse as we age
Here’s the sign of the “number 10 stage”
You have a bad fall
Cause your head hit the wall
Which concludes with a savage-like rage
When his hair growth was getting too weak
He went to the barber to seek:
A guaranteed fix
To attract all the chicks
(But to me, my chihuahua’s still “chic”)
Just stop being such a damn sneak
Since you know that my vision’s gone weak
I’ve seen that young dude
And I think he’s quite lewd
I’m old, Dear, but not an antique
Bidin’ Our Time ~
I’m staying at Mom’s all this week
To make sure that there’s someone to peek
Every night and each day
While my sister’s away;
Ninety-nine next month—quite an antique!
Gagglers ~
Sometimes people struggle with stragglers,
Resulting in sordid bedragglers:
Envision another’s
Then bend to their d’ruthers—
A verse with the curse of finaglers.
A heat wave descended this week.
A nudist prevents burned physique.
When he lies in the sun,
To prevent red, burned bun,
Remembers to turn other cheek.
An optometrist’s office implies
It’s a place where a saying applies.
If your vision is wrecked,
You should go get it checked
At a place that’s a site for sore eyes.
Sixty years, we’ll be married next week
In the morn’ we both “dance” cheek to cheek
We wake up like a song
When the pitch has gone wrong
And we call it “The Rocky Bone Creak”
I caught that louse, Robert last week
At “La Cheat On Your Spouse” near the creek
First a passionate kiss
With such obvious bliss!
Then a slow dance for two, “Sneak To Sneak”
“These glasses will do you no harm
Please calm down, there’s no need for alarm
If you keep saying, “No”
There is one way to go:
I’ll be forced to just lengthen your arm”
not a duplicate:( using the words “which was” line four)
I thought I wrote something unique
By using a brand-new technique
A lim’rik go great
Which was really first-rate
But the punch line was just too darn weak
another version
Sixty years, we’ll be married next week
Every morn’ we both “dance” cheek to cheek
We wake up like a song
When the pitch has gone wrong
And we call it “The Rock ‘n Roll Creak”
We saw what Melania wore;
The question was “What the hell for?”
Perhaps this explains:
Son Barron retains
White spray paint outside the front door.
A sporting young lady called Clare
Tried a parachute jump for a dare.
Though her nerves were quite weak
She survived the technique,
Though she landed with legs in the air!
The optometrist closed in and said
‘Which is brighter, the green or the red?’
In the blink of an eye,
With my face in his tie
I replied ‘I’d try purple instead!’
It’s SAD! when deplorables seek
A strongman with morals so weak.
They claim to be winning.
It looks more like sinning,
With a future increasingly bleak.
When he hears “O say can you see”
His first thought? It’s “Who took a knee?”
He’ll rave and he’ll rant.
Enjoy football? He can’t.
As a fan, he’s a true SOB.
Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Limerick-Off Award 300.
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Toe.