Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BUNK or DEBUNK at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BUNK or DEBUNK at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BOATING, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BOAT-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on September 18, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 17, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

The media’s drowning in junk;
Scams and falsehoods it fails to debunk.
Though we’re succored by Snopes,
We’re still suckered like dopes,
And on hoaxes and dupery drunk.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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89 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BUNK or DEBUNK at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Marty Gerendasy says:

    The ship’s captain had tried to debunk
    All the reasons why his boat got sunk.
    Said it wasn’t a fact
    That the ship was attacked,
    It was simply a cheap Chinese junk.

  2. Marty Gerendasy says:

    A young fellow who staggered home drunk
    Tried and tried to climb into his bunk.
    But each time he would try,
    To the floor he would fly,
    And he’d land with a thud and kerplunk!

  3. Ken Gosse says:

    Wake-Up Call! ~
    Sometimes it seems best to debunk,
    Whatever it was someone thunk,
    But it always proves right
    To debunk in the night
    Before you get junk in your trunk.

  4. Ken Gosse says:

    Winken and Blinken, Not Thinkin’ —
    Drinkin’ and Clinkin’, ol’ Todd,
    Sailed off in a boat very odd,
    In a ship in a bottle,
    He emptied full-throttle,
    Then Toddy when potty in Nod.

  5. Grzegorz Gigol says:

    Drinking tea on his yacht, Mr. Lee
    was as happy as yachtsmen can be.
    Asked his wife, amidst bliss,
    “Anything that you miss?”
    He said, “No, just the sea, you, ‘n’ tea.”

    PS
    This limerick needs to be read out loud.
    Preferably, to an audience.
    Preferably, one that is not under age.

  6. Mike Burch says:

    Agent Orange is full of bunk:
    Tiny-fingered, he claims a big “trunk.”
    And his “platform”? Oh my,
    I think we’d all die!
    And he can’t even claim he was drunk!

    ——————————————-

    There’s something I’d like to debunk:
    the GOP’s not in a “funk.”
    The Donald, by choice,
    is its unfiltered voice.
    Vote for someone sane or we’re all sunk!

  7. Brian allgar says:

    The Captain was thoroughly drunk,
    And was bonking a bird in his bunk.
    They were suddenly wet,
    But it wasn’t from sweat –
    In his absence, the liner had sunk.

  8. Brian allgar says:

    She was screwing a randy young monk,
    But she found herself ´doing a bunk’.
    Though he fucked like a stoat
    And he bucked like a goat,
    He stank even worse than a skunk.

  9. Tom Harris says:

    One night when I was barely drunk,
    I sez, “Dear wife, ain’t I a hunk?”
    She was astounded,
    Said, “You’ve come ungrounded.
    I can’t stop laughing at your bunk.”

  10. Tom Harris says:

    That chick had lots and lots of spunk,
    But would not join me in the bunk.
    She said she was proper,
    No one got atop her,
    And I should go become a monk.

  11. Tom Harris says:

    Please excuse the misplaced “bunk”

    The sexy, sensuous Mabel
    Seduced the actor, Clark Gable.
    But once in the bunk,
    Said Clark, who was drunk,
    “Frankly my dear, I’m not able.”

  12. colonialist says:

    Though in China they tend to debunk
    The myth you can’t sleep in a junk,
    Sudden de-bunk is found
    If the junk runs aground
    When the helmsman on rice wine gets drunk.

  13. Judith Block says:

    The big guy was truly quite drunk
    Said his cock’s like an elephant’s trunk.
    He was just ignored
    His claim not explored,
    None laughed or said he’s full of bunk.

  14. Judith Block says:

    Don’t care ’bout the size of Trump’s junk
    Just sick of how low he has sunk
    His words are all slander
    He’ll gush and he’ll pander.
    He just spews malevolent bunk.

  15. Judith Block says:

    It’s crucial that we all debunk
    The bullshit that is Donald Trump.
    It won’t take a wiz
    To show what he is:
    A cruel and despicable punk.

  16. Judith Block says:

    A guy was depressed, in a funk
    About the small size of his junk.
    He should be aware,
    Most gals just don’t care..
    Another dumb myth to debunk.

  17. Judith Block says:

    Therese Raquin/lover not gloating,
    They murdered her husband while boating.
    They made sure he drowned,
    Self-hatred they found.
    Their consciences got them- worth noting.

  18. Judith Block says:

    Renoir’s “Boating Party” is fun,
    Lots of flirting and wine, shade and sun,
    Along the Seine River
    With seductive quiver,
    The Luncheon’s banter’s just begun.

  19. colonialist says:

    In yachting there’s a rule you always ought
    To give way if you are found to be on port,
    So, to beat the starboard guys,
    Ale and hearty would be wise,
    Or at least a wine of quite a different sort.

  20. Bruce Alter says:

    He collapsed in the hold on his bunk.
    The words in his mind, “Who’d-a thunk,
    That my new boat’s beachhead
    Is a dry riverbed.
    So, I slunk here to sleep a drunk funk!”

  21. Ken Gosse says:

    He Can Float My Boat Anytime ~
    He was ship-shape and too large to squeeze,
    But his rudder was where it would please.
    He was decked but erect,
    So his mast could connect
    With the ports to the Nort’s of her knees.

  22. Dave Johnson says:

    Despicable Donald will boast
    He’s the best; the others are toast.
    In nautical terms,
    He quickly confirms
    His dinghy has traveled the most.

  23. Dave Johnson says:

    In boot camp, they give you a bunk
    And you keep all your stuff in a trunk.
    Fine styling you’ll lack
    With the clothes on your back;
    Sartorial options have shrunk.

  24. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Tried and tried to rhyme something with “bunk,”
    But my efforts, quite frankly, all stunk.
    I tried word after word,
    Some that you’ve never heard,
    But they all made a real loud KERPLUNK!

  25. Dave Johnson says:

    On vacation, we’re caught in a funk;
    Our Airbnb place is junk.
    On a faraway isle,
    We’re told with a smile:
    “You both have to sleep in de bunk.”

  26. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Late last night I got rip roaring drunk,
    Staggered home and climbed into my bunk.
    But then I hurt my my head
    On the foot of the bed.
    Might be time for me to be a monk.

  27. Dave Johnson says:

    While launching his boat with a Hummer,
    He struts like he’s King of the Summer.
    Now ready to go,
    The Speedo will show
    His love life must be a real bummer.

  28. Dave Johnson says:

    Some people can buy a big yacht;
    While others must sleep on a cot.
    What matters the most
    Isn’t something to boast;
    But rather, it’s what you cannot.

  29. Fred Bortz says:

    If your lover turns into a skunk
    Who cannot perform when he’s drunk,
    Which is six nights a week,
    Then you shouldn’t be meek.
    Stop the lying. Face facts and de-bunk.

  30. Brian Allgar says:

    The prisoner was in a blue funk;
    He was sharing a cell and a bunk
    With a kind of gorilla
    The size of Godzilla …
    The prison door closed with a clunk.

  31. Brian Allgar says:

    Said the Donald, “I gotta debunk
    Them rumours that say that I’ve shrunk.
    It’s all Democrat lies –
    I am still ’bout the size
    Of a fully-grown elephant’s trunk.”

  32. Brian Allgar says:

    On the yacht of her host, quite a hunk,
    The bimbo inspected the bunk.
    When she asked “Top or bottom?”
    He grinned. “Once I’ve got ’em,
    It’s both”, and she knew she was sunk.

  33. Brian Allgar says:

    “Evolutionary theory is bunk”,
    The creationist said. “A slam-dunk!
    Guys with chastity vows
    And no mistress or spouse?
    There’s no way we evolved from a monk.”

  34. Brian Allgar says:

    “I think that I thought that I thunk,”
    Said Descartes, “but perhaps it was bunk.
    If I am when I think,
    What occurs when I drink?
    Well, I think that I therefore am drunk.”

  35. Brian Allgar says:

    Said Monica, “Really, it’s bunk
    That my dress is still covered in gunk,
    For I went to great pains
    To get rid of the stains –
    The President sure had some spunk.”

  36. Brian Allgar says:

    This avant-garde music is bunk.
    Just a plink and a plonk and a plunk,
    Then a screech and a groan,
    Then a crash and a moan –
    As food for the soul, it is junk.

  37. Brian Allgar says:

    Said the Mafia boss, “Listen, punk –
    All them stories ya heard are just bunk.
    Forget concrete dresses
    And acid-bath messes,
    Just carry this stiff to the trunk.”

  38. Fred Bortz says:

    Inviting All Tourists to my Town!

    On Pittsburgh’s three rivers, you oughta
    Join in the fun with a lotta
    Folks who love races–
    Just look at their faces!
    In summer, you’ve gotta Regatta.

  39. David Reddekopp says:

    There once was a horny young monk
    Who was gifted with sizable junk
    He’d no love for religion
    Not even a smidgen
    But boinked with the boys in their bunk.

  40. Dave Johnson says:

    Seattle is known for its rain;
    But tons of attractions remain.
    Make the most of your trek
    From a ferryboat deck;
    ‘Cause traffic will drive you insane.

  41. Dave Johnson says:

    At a rowing regatta, we stroked
    While the coxswain’s yells prodded and poked.
    “Power ten!” she did shriek;
    When I ventured a peek,
    A wake told me we had been smoked.

  42. David Reddekopp says:

    In Berlin, I went out and got drunk
    And I met a cute girl full of spunk
    How I wished it was mine
    But to that, she said “Nein!”
    I could not get her back to my bunk.

  43. Barry Solomons says:

    He was always heard talking bunk,
    Full of gossip, the guy’s such a punk,
    The slanderous words he would utter
    Were only fit for the gutter,
    He was a spiteful, malicious quidnunc…

    **********************

    With no lighting in his Ark
    Noah would seek a bright spark,
    So over 40 nights
    He lived without lights,
    Leaving the fireflies to glow in the dark…

  44. Thanks for the prompt again!

    I broke the rules this week. I didn’t do a limerick, but I did a rhymed and metered poem and used your rhyme keyword.

    It’s here:
    Hurry Up and Weight

  45. Brian Allgar says:

    (Boating + two well-known characters)

    There was an old man from Calcutta
    Who moulded a boat out of butter.
    A girl from Nantucket
    Said “Please may I suck it?”
    The thought set the old man a-flutter.

  46. Raphael Harris says:

    There once was a camper named Munk ,
    Who had some magnificent junk,
    No not stuck on pegs,
    But between her two legs,
    And the boys all line up by her bunk.

  47. Raphael Harris says:

    Her sailboat sunk in the sea,
    But rescued by sailors was she,
    She kicked off her shoes,
    And turned on the news,
    And there was her butt on TV.

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  49. Nate Levin says:

    Like falling down from the top bunk,
    And hitting your head with a clunk
    Would be the election
    Of the GOP-Guys’ selection–
    A wild man loose, who’da thunk?

  50. Tim James says:

    In the novel I’m reading, a hunk
    Has a girlfriend who fondles his junk.
    When they started to pet
    I broke out in a sweat.
    Now excuse me. I’ll be in my bunk.

  51. A guy who considered himself quite a spunk
    Had lured a young lass to his bunk.
    But when he presented his staff
    She just pointed and laughed,
    And like his ego, it deflated and shrunk.

  52. Dave Johnson says:

    In a campaign that’s nothing but junk,
    Despicable Donald has sunk
    Our stature worldwide;
    We cannot abide
    Both Putin and Kim in his bunk.

  53. There once was a guy with a skunk
    In a box, at the end of his bunk.
    The relationship was odd—
    The skunk thought him a god
    And worshipped at his feet, which stunk.

  54. Tim James says:

    About boating I haven’t a clue.
    What do fo’c’s’les and mizzen masts do?
    Tell me why the main bounds
    And on what the surf pounds.
    And just why on a head would you poo?

  55. Dave Johnson says:

    James Brown was the master of funk;
    Michael Jordan, his magical dunk.
    Donald Trump staked a claim
    For Liar’s Club fame
    Matt Lauer had failed to debunk.

  56. Dave Johnson says:

    Harvey, Tim and Big Jake
    Were fishing one day on a lake.
    Three skiers blew past,
    All blonde and bare-assed;
    Said Harvey: “Four real and…two fake.”

  57. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Bippety boppety bunk
    My fairy godmother’s a drunk
    Now with booze on her breath
    That will sure mark the death
    Of my dream to meet Prince Charming Hunk.

    My luck to find romance has shrunk
    You could say her wand’s powers just stunk
    End result’s not alarming;
    Instead of Prince Charming —
    A monk who likes farming with spunk.

  58. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Now a donut is something you dunk
    And a slow nut is something that slunk
    If a hoe nut’s a hunk
    Who can’t jack up his junk
    Then a beau nut is nothing but bunk.

  59. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A student who thought school was bunk
    Would show up as drunk as a skunk
    He’d sleep during class
    And he’d snore and pass gas
    That’s a lesson in how you can flunk.

  60. Mark Kane says:

    A naked lad drunk as a skunk,
    Delivered his rants of pure bunk,
    At the neighborhood whore,
    But then hollered and swore
    When she laughed at his ‘Junk’, as it shrunk..

  61. Dave Johnson says:

    They chartered a boat to Key West;
    The occasion was Fantasy Fest.
    In a bar on Duval,
    They showed one and all
    How they’re anatomically blessed.

  62. An Idealic Voyage
    Warm winds from the South briskly blew
    O’er the waves the small ship fairly flew
    Red sunsets at night
    Were the sailor’s delight
    And the Captain poured rum for the crew.

  63. Kirk Miller says:

    He gave scullers a recommendation
    That they ought to use synchronization
    To improve their boat’s speed
    Because what rowers need
    Is a lot of co-oar-dination.

  64. Dave Johnson says:

    On a sailboat, they laid in the sun;
    Uncovered young lovers as one.
    But later they’d learn
    Some parts quickly burn;
    Hot-dogging while toasting a bun.

  65. Fred Bortz says:

    Politifact’s there to debunk
    Campaigners who spew lots of junk.
    If they ranked claims by scent,
    For Trump’s they’d invent
    A rating beyond mega-skunk.

  66. Dave Johnson says:

    Sweep rowing is starboard or port;
    Doing both, in a scull you’ll cavort.
    Single, double or quad;
    If this strikes you odd,
    Then kayaking might be your sport.

  67. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I’d like to put Trump on a boat
    Far out on the ocean he’d float
    No motor, no oars
    And no sails (use your drawers)
    So enjoy the outdoors, you old goat!

    And no cell phone to call out for help
    He can cry all he wants, even yelp
    Well okay, give that fraud
    A nice big fishing rod
    But he’ll never catch cod, only kelp!

  68. Fred Bortz says:

    Frances sailed in her catamaran
    With a hunk of a lover named Dan.
    She said, “Put up the mast.
    I’ll make sure it will last.”
    From the first, that was always Fran’s plan.

  69. Dave Johnson says:

    The captain had way too much grog;
    He started to bark like a dog.
    His crew was aghast,
    Saw him humping the mast;
    “Keeled over” showed up in the log.

  70. Dave Johnson says:

    The Donald’s all bluster and gloat;
    Presidential? Not even remote.
    Clear logic runs south
    When he opens his mouth;
    He’s selling a boat that won’t float.

  71. Dave Johnson says:

    If you’re drunk as a skunk on a bunk
    ‘Cause your winky got dinky and sunk,
    Then maybe you’re stuck;
    You’ve run out of luck
    When your junk has just slunk in a funk.

  72. Tim James says:

    The career of the captain was sunk
    When, while steering his vessel while drunk,
    On a fine summer’s night
    He turned fast but too tight,
    Causing all those aboard to debunk.

  73. Robert Hughes says:

    There once was a man from Podunk,
    who slept with a skunk in his bunk.
    He smelled pretty bad,
    and the skunk was quite sad,
    so he left home to become a monk.

  74. David Reddekopp says:

    I’m a hunk in a funk when I’m drunk
    Who’da thunk it? My junk, it has shrunk
    It won’t even unfurl
    So I can’t get a girl
    Now I’m sunk – can’t spelunk in my bunk.

  75. David Reddekopp says:

    This one’s not mine, so it’s ineligible, but I thought you folks may enjoy it. It inspired my above entry, and you’ll see why:

    A punk who was drunk stole a skunk
    From the junk in the trunk of a monk.
    He was soon in bad odor,
    So he rightly bestowed her
    On the monk in a funk, whom she stunk.

  76. David Reddekopp says:

    I guess it wouldn’t have been anyway, as it doesn’t have the week’s word in it. But it’s still fun.

  77. Dave Johnson says:

    On a glorious tropical day,
    They sailed into Orient Bay.
    With its long naked beach
    Now well within reach,
    A dinghy ride lengthened their stay.

  78. Dave Johnson says:

    The Donald is quick to debunk
    His malodorous yearnings have shrunk.
    He blabbers and yaks
    Unbridled attacks
    That carry the scent of a skunk.

  79. David Reddekopp says:

    There once was a man who was manic
    He captained the vessel “Titanic”
    When an iceberg he’d clip
    He would shout “Holey ship!”
    And the passengers fled in a panic.

  80. Dave Johnson says:

    A paddle board built to deliver
    Stability started to quiver.
    His balance did shift,
    The blade wouldn’t lift;
    He then became one with the river.

  81. Suzanne Heymann says:

    As his wife bitched all day on the ark
    That poor Noah got tired of her bark
    Well, she soon became quiet
    But tried to defy it
    Right into the jaws of a shark.

  82. Suzanne Heymann says:

    On his mistress, the captain was doting
    And took her along for some boating
    But his mad wife saw red
    When she caught them in bed
    And soon there were two bodies floating.

  83. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Canoes I just hate with a passion
    They tip, I fall out, I’m left thrashin’
    The worst part of it —
    I can’t swim worth a shit
    And I really don’t care much for splashin’.

  84. Diane Groothuis says:

    Last evening I lay on my bunk
    Quite tired and also quite drunk
    As I pondered and mused
    I became quite confused
    What was I? A nun or a monk?

  85. Dave Johnson says:

    A player too dinky to dunk,
    Has talent less slinky – more slunk.
    An immature lad,
    The coach is his dad;
    That he still gets his “binky” is bunk.

  86. Dave Johnson says:

    For a wedding, the yachtsman in charge
    Saw the families were massively large.
    He questioned his boat
    Could keep them afloat;
    So they ended up renting a barge.

  87. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I took an Alaskan ship cruise
    Where passengers drank too much booze
    So stupid, so boring
    They ended up snoring
    With crew members starting to snooze.

    I complained, but then no one was sober
    I walked the ship’s hallways to probe her
    To see if I’d find
    Someone with a sound mind
    But no luck, and we’re nearing October.

    I finally went to the captain
    His bunk I had found which he napped in
    I’d yell and I’d shake him
    But just could not wake him
    What a crazy milieu I was trapped in.

    It was one floating zombie-filled city
    Where folks’ mental powers were gritty
    I was filled with a gloom
    Of an impending doom
    But there wasn’t much room for self-pity.

    Then suddenly there was a crash
    I rushed to the deck in a flash
    We made contact with one
    Giant iceberg. We’re done!
    And I saw that the bow had a gash.

    I stared and I stammered, “Good lord!”
    As some polar bears stumbled aboard
    They looked starving and thin
    But they knew they were in
    For a smorgasbord win which they scored.

    I see deja vu scenes of Titanic
    With the bears making things a bit manic
    My fear’s in full throttle
    So hand me a bottle
    Of whiskey to coddle my panic!

  88. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Mad and Mark bought a nice place
    And it came with a boat that would race
    They weren’t too keen
    On that high-speed machine
    But the place was a space that was ace.

    That boat was a bit of a curse
    They’re quite lucky they needed no hearse
    From the battery failing
    To rain, and the bailing,
    And going adrift, which was worse?

    True story, folks; for more juicy details of M & M’s story of the perils of owning a speedboat, check out:
    Motor Boating Just Isn’t Our Speed (Humor Column by Mad Kane.)

    P.S. Empty your bladder before reading

    From MBK: Thanks for the plug!

  89. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 261.

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the Boating-Themed Limerick Winner, and to the Honorable Mention winners.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Frame.