Tone-Deaf Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who used vocal inflection
To convey his disdain and rejection,
Would deflect ev’ry claim
That he aimed to inflame:
“I’m blameless. My word choice? Perfection!”
Archive for August, 2015
Tone-Deaf Limerick
Tuesday, August 4th, 2015Choice Viewing (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 4th, 2015Choice Viewing (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
What with networks and Netflix and cable
And Hulu and Amazon’s stable
Of shows to be seen,
I’m too wired to screen;
Feeling feeble, can’t pick — kindly table.
Happy “Champagne Day” (August 4)
Tuesday, August 4th, 2015It’s Champagne Day — not that I need an excuse to drink champagne … or write silly limericks:
A flutist who’s fond of champagne
Trills “Vintage!” — a chilling refrain.
Dating rich, shady guys
For their bank account size,
She loves swilling their ill-gotten gain.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: ROE or THOREAU or ROW (which MUST use ROE Pronunciation) at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5
Saturday, August 1st, 2015It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using ROE or THOREAU or ROW (which MUST use ROE pronunciation) at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
My husband went out for a row–
Not a fight but a boat ride, although
I suppose while he works
Those oars, jet ski jerks
Could cause him to go toe to … tow.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick of the Week (224)
Saturday, August 1st, 2015It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
I was dating three sisters named Boone;
Young April was cold: “It’s too soon,”
And May, though quite hot,
Told me “No, you may not,”
But the good times were coming in June.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Pedro Poitevin, David Reddekopp, Daisy Mae Simon, Phil Graham, and Fred Bortz. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly:
In a penthouse suite down in Cancun,
Lives a slovenly mobster each June.
All you tourists should know
That the world down below
Is his 24/7 spittoon.
Tim James:
A scribe and his editor, June,
Did the nasty, one fine afternoon.
She had gotten quite pissed
With the deadlines he’d missed;
But this ONE time, he finished too soon.
Will T. Laughlin:
Go ahead, Tin Pan Alley, and croon
A tune in which “moon” rhymes with “June”.
Sing of stealing a kiss
From a lissome young miss –
Just don’t sing it to me. I’m immune.
Pedro Poitevin:
I’m shagging a young picaroon
Who loves to show off his harpoon.
He’s too quick with the trigger
And lacking in vigor,
But he arrrs when I whisper “jejune.”
David Reddekopp:
The timing is quite opportune
For an off-color rhyme that’s jejune.
A short penis joke will
Always get a cheap thrill,
But the verse, like my dick, ends too soon.
Daisy Mae Simon:
When he’d walk in from work, he’d call, “June!”
Dressed in pearls and her apron, they’d ‘spoon.’
When her batter he’d lick
She’d get lightheaded quick,
But when Ward asked for Beaver, she’d swoon.
Phil Graham:
A menage à trois started at noon.
The lone man got surprised fairly soon;
With all three going strong,
He thought something was wrong
When May didn’t come before June.
Fred Bortz:
She delivered her baby in June,
Six months past the wedding — too soon —
The result of some merriment —
Condom experiment —
’Twas only a trial balloon.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
