Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SLIDE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SLIDE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

The trombonist begged,”Please let this slide.”
But the band leader’s answer was snide:
“You’re banned from my band
Cuz I simply can’t stand
Any man who makes time with my bride.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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90 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SLIDE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Brian Allgar says:

    Our host showed us slide after slide
    Of the day that he married his bride,
    Till a bang and a spark
    Put us all in the dark –
    Thank the Lord, his projector was fried.

  2. Brian Allgar says:

    His face was beginning to slide;
    Transformation could not be denied.
    As each blotch and each freckle
    Appeared, Dr Jekyll
    Had nowhere to turn but to Hyde.

  3. Brian Allgar says:

    “Ouch! My finger!” the trombonist cried.
    “It is painfully stuck in the slide!”
    To a girl in the band
    He said “I need a hand –
    Could you pull off my ’bone?” … She complied.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    She was ready, positioned astride,
    And she felt it beginning to slide
    In and out, to and fro,
    Her whole body aglow –
    Yes, that rowing-machine was her pride.

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    Madeleine, I didn’t read your limerick until I’d written my own four above. Any similarity in the matter of trombones and bands is purely coincidental!

    From Mad Kane: No worries! Our limericks are very different anyway. :)

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    When Godiva unfastened her slide,
    Her long hair was sufficient to hide
    The provocative bits
    Such as pussy and tits
    As she went for her naturist ride.

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    We had followed our Alpinist guide,
    But an avalanche started to slide,
    And he fell like an ass
    Down a gaping crevasse.
    We were lucky his rope wasn’t tied.

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    Though from sin all his life he had shied,
    Now the priest felt a yearning to slide
    Down the slippery slope
    Into sex, booze and dope.
    “Lord, redeem me – but not yet”, he sighed.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    Her dentist said “Please open wide;
    You will feel my instrument slide
    Round your mouth and your gums
    Until – Ah! Here it comes!
    Now, just spit in the bowl by your side.”

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    “Ten commandments on stone”, Moses sighed,
    “They’re so heavy, I’m starting to slide.
    This job is no heaven –”
    “Let’s make it eleven:
    THOU SHALT NOT COMPLAIN!” God replied.

  11. Brian Allgar says:

    “Ten limericks”, he muttered with pride.
    “Now at last, I can let the thing slide,
    And the contest begins,
    But if none of them wins,
    Then, dear Madeleine Kane, woe betide!”

  12. Susan Lichtblau says:

    My first limerick sent in with pride
    With rules I need to abide
    Poems deep or quite silly
    Buttoned up or quite frilly
    I’m glad I’m along for the ride

  13. Judith H. Block says:

    Down a slippery slope we will slide
    If the US won’t swallow it’s pride
    Don’t try to rule all,
    Stop corporate cabal.
    Alas it is so far untried.

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    Her skin started to sag and to slide,
    To her, a matter of great pride.
    Her goal to look pretty
    Not subject to pity.
    She looked at herself and she cried.

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    Ice skating she’d slither and slide
    She’d not give up- she had her pride.
    Some watched her amused
    Others felt confused
    When into a crowd she’d collide.

  16. Dave Johnson says:

    Tip ‘O the hat to Brian – great job!
    Now to borrow one of your themes:

    With Lady Godiva astride,
    Their attention started to slide.

    What the townspeople saw
    Wasn’t sanctioned by law;

    But did make them swell up with pride.

  17. Judith H. Block says:

    Down she went in a drunken slide,
    She felt someone in her, astride.
    “Want more brandy, ‘m’dear?
    It’s a very good year.
    Just relax and enjoy the ride!”

  18. Dave Johnson says:

    With frustration he just couldn’t hide,
    The rowing coach yelled “Slow the slide!!”

    To enhance his emote,
    He jumped up in the boat

    And flipped right over the side.

  19. Dave Johnson says:

    To help when you slip in and slide,
    She might want to try AstroGlide.

    Just one quickie lube
    From our cute little tube

    Will ensure a most comfortable ride.

  20. Kirk Miller says:

    Write a lim’rick on trombones? I tried,
    But there’s one thing that can’t be denied:
    I don’t know ’bout that horn,
    So I felt quite forlorn,
    And decided to just let it slide.

  21. Dave Johnson says:

    A prowess they show off with pride,
    They’ll jump on a pole for a slide.

    The action is hot
    For this eye-catching lot

    In the big hook and ladder they ride.

  22. This actually happened

    I went way up on the slide
    With my handsome grandson, Clyde

    We landed in mud
    There had been a flood

    We wobbled home side by side

  23. When I saw myself on the slide
    I was thoroughly mortified

    I gained so much weight
    My ass looked like the great

    Mt. Everest mountainside

  24. Dave Johnson says:

    Let’s try this again:

    A radio shock-jock named Hyde
    Heard his ratings were starting to slide.

    So he did play-by-play
    At a swingers’ soiree

    With an analyst right by his side.

  25. Dave Johnson says:

    a note to myself – not part of the contest

    A writer should always take heed
    To proof every sentence, indeed.

    One letter astray
    Can alter the way

    We comprehend what we will bead.

  26. A Bad Pun!

    My husband’s in prison
    I can’t let this slide

    His hearing’s not good
    and he misunderstood

    I told him we’re having HUMMUS ON THE SIDE!

    (get it?)

  27. Dave Johnson says:

    The blues man was using a slide;
    A result, his guitar really cried.

    He started to preach,
    But his voice had a screech

    That made us think something had died.

  28. Kaye Roberts says:

    (Can’t hope to compete with Brian A. but:)

    An unscrupulous lawyer named Clyde
    Was aware that his client had lied

    But he had so much money
    And brought Clyde a ton, he

    Decided to just let it slide

  29. (This Clyde fellow sure gets around…)

    “Did you get to third base?” we asked Clyde,
    Coming home from his date. He replied,
    “When two balls had been reckoned,
    I stole third from second…
    Then: OUT! For attempting to slide.”

  30. In each conversation, I slide
    My favorite sentence, with pride.
    For it thrills me to quip,
    “It is crackers to slip
    A rozzer the dropsy in snide!”

  31. As a child on the playground, I tried…
    But I never liked sliding the slide.
    For I’d the conviction
    The build-up of friction
    Would burn off my pants, and my hide.

  32. A coy Early Music music fan sighed
    For a man with a very long slide.
    “Oh please,” cried the miss,
    “Won’t you give us a gliss?”
    “My sackbut’s Baroque,” he replied.

  33. (This one’s a little grim.)

    Oh, life’s like a very long slide:
    As you climb to the top, you decide
    What to do, what to see…
    Then you’re on it, and — WHEEEE! —
    You’re caught up in the thrill of the ride.

    Then you see, with your eyes opened wide,
    That there isn’t much left to the slide.
    Though you scrabble and kick,
    Your descent is too quick;
    Then you fly off the end — and you’ve died.

  34. Judith H. Block says:

    He stared at the Waterworld slide:
    “This is something I’d never abide,
    Unless smoking herbal,
    For I am a gerbil.
    On dry land is where we reside.”

    Judith's Gerbil at Waterworld

  35. There once was a cool water-slide
    that’d drop you right into the Clyde
    But that’s not as much fun
    as a seat in the sun
    watching Celtic and Rangers collide!

  36. Dave Johnson says:

    His future continued to slide;
    Which left him uneasy inside.

    That’s when he fled
    His runaway sled

    Before that big tree could collide.

  37. P Diane Schneider says:

    It seems that her time she would bide
    Before pushing off on the slide
    She hung up her rear
    And cowered in fear
    On seeing her top come untied

  38. Colonialist says:

    Just one look at Allgar has made me decide
    Opportunity, this time, I’ll need to let slide:
    It is such a pity
    His rhymes are so witty –
    So now all the rest are completely outside!

  39. I went on “Olympic Water Slide”
    I had an invigorating ride

    I had to cough
    So my trunks fell off

    I’m now employed at “Freaks of Nature” (poolside)

  40. Matt was a man who lied
    He also let many things slide

    He looked the other way
    When I fell in the bay

    And was carried away with the tide.

  41. When my son got on the slide
    I warned him not to collide

    With a friend who “was”
    Then it will be all abuzz

    That one of you sat down and cried.

  42. Our park has a brand new slide
    But it is quite a bumpy ride

    It was made by a male
    Who designed it in Braille

    Because he thinks you can read with your hide

  43. Dave Johnson says:

    It’s risky when we have to slide
    Around slowpokes who block the left side.

    If we could just get
    Them to move further yet,

    The median’s where they’d reside.

  44. Somethings you can’t let slide
    And others you can’t just hide

    When asked very discreetly
    How I want a girl to treat me

    She answered “Okay, I’ll just swallow my pride”

  45. APOLOGIES TO BROWNING

    “Now, that’s my Last Duchess, my bride.
    She was seeing someone on the side:
    Her TV. Much too much
    Of ‘Real Housewives’, and such,
    So I had her beheaded. Next slide!”

  46. DANTE 2016

    “If there’s one thing I cannot abide,
    It’s walking to Hell with a guide.
    So I’ve nothing to lose
    If I vote for Ted Cruz,
    Since his platform’s a Handbasket Slide!”

  47. AT LEAST HE’S WELL-PRESERVED

    Alan Alda, career on the slide,
    Caught hell for a stage role he tried.
    How the critics all heckle
    When Alda, as Jekyll,
    Assumes his new Form: Alda/Hyde!

  48. Sorry Mad; should’ve read “nothing TO lose” at 8:42 above.

    (MBK: Fixed it. :) )

  49. “There’s one thing I cannae let slide,”
    The Glaswegian riverman cried.
    “Though Maxwelton’s braes
    Hae won plenty o’ praise,
    They’re nowhere as bonnie as Clyde!”

  50. When choosing a potential bride
    You must not let anything slide

    She should be well bred
    And good in bed

    And have a father who’s financially diversified

  51. Big Bertha went down the slide
    But not for the complete ride

    She got stuck in the middle
    And began to piddle

    Since then, on Depends, she’s relied.

  52. When I looked at the doctor’s slide
    There were creepy crabs inside

    My next blind date
    will wear an armor plate

    And not remove it till I decide!

  53. not a duplicate

    When looking for a potential bride
    You should not let anything slide

    She should be quite well-bred
    And good in bed

    And have a father who can richly provide

  54. JYPreston says:

    My kids love to play slip and slide.
    I watch them careen and collide.
    My son and my daughter
    Abide in the water
    So much I can’t get them inside.

  55. JYPreston says:

    A woman dressed up like a bride
    Covinced me to give her a ride.
    When she got in my cab
    I could see she felt drab,
    So I told her I’d let the fare slide.

  56. SCIENTIFIC PROGRESS GOES “BOINK”
    (Sincere apologies to Bill Watterson)

    Her glance caused his slide-rule to slide.
    To the break room at CERN the pair hied.
    As they rutted like pigs,
    They discovered the Higgs’
    Through a different kind of “collide”.

  57. Susan Lichtblau says:

    The sonnet is something I tried
    Went on to a couplet – that died
    Ogden Nash had no worry
    Nor D. Parker so blurry
    The limerick – c’est moi – I cried!

  58. Jon Gearhart says:

    Speaking of trombonists…

    My last girlfriend was musically tied
    To a brass group, and when she applied
    Her whole mouthpiece just right,
    She could trombone all night
    Making use of each inch of your slide!

  59. Dave Johnson says:

    We’re not sure what made him decide
    On skateboarding down that big slide.

    The one thing we know,
    His stunt served to show

    That humans can’t fly – but he tried.

  60. “Internet Date”

    Meet me at the pool outside
    Right near the brand new slide

    I shall be wearing a grin
    And drinking gin

    I’ll be the one with nothing to hide

  61. When on a diet, you must abide
    to precise rules; don’t let them slide

    Eat cauliflower
    Pursue will power

    Then grab the Godivas and HIDE!

  62. When going down a fun-filled slide
    Make sure your pants are securely tied

    It’s very rude
    To be in the nude

    At a public park amusement ride!

  63. Mad:

    I meant to write
    “Then grab the Godivas and GO AND HIDE

  64. When looking at the doctor’s slide
    There were creepy crabs crawling inside

    My next blind date
    Must wear an armor plate

    And obey my rules to which he must abide!

  65. Susan Lichtblau says:

    The sonnet is something I tried
    The heroic couplet I let slide
    Ogden Nash had no worry
    Nor D. Parker so blurry
    The limerick – c’est moi – I cried!

  66. Jon Gearhart says:

    This should go with my first limerick:

    All her musical talents aside
    She was s’posed to become my young bride
    But alack and alas,
    Such a fine piece of brass
    Always keeps other mates on the slide

  67. Jon Gearhart says:

    At a dairy group once I espied
    A cowed speaker. A farm joke he tried:
    “Why’d the milking cow cross
    O’er the barnyard? Because
    He was off to the udder cow slide!”

  68. Jon Gearhart says:

    I wanted to just let it slide
    But she thought it better that I’d
    Take this chance to express
    My displeasure, and yes,
    She was right; my damn know-it-all bride…

  69. Dave Johnson says:

    Miss Muffet was fit to be tied;
    A spider sat down by her side.

    Her screaming was shrill;
    He said “Please, lady, chill.

    Just tough it and I’ll let it slide.”

  70. Dave Johnson says:

    Tonight, the NFL will decide
    On whose shoulders their franchises ride.

    Some players they’ll claim
    Are destined for fame;

    But a few will begin a long slide.

  71. Don’t be discouraged when you slide
    Just “go with the flow and rise with the tide”

    Life has its bumps
    And its share of slumps

    But you must always look for the joy in the ride

  72. My parole officer said, “You better not slide”
    “This time you must thoroughly abide”

    It wasn’t nice
    And I must pay the price

    For killing my parrot and committing BIRD-A-CIDE!

  73. almost the same but not a duplicate

    When looking at the doctor’s slide
    I saw creepy crabs crawling inside

    My next blind date
    Must wear an armor plate

    And obey my rules or take a ride!

  74. Our park has a beautiful slide
    But it’s quite a bumpy ride

    It was made by a male
    Designed in Braille

    And he thinks your can read with your bubble butt hide

  75. Don’t be discouraged if things TEND to slide
    You must “go with the flow and rise with the tide”

    Life has many bumps
    And quite its share of slumps

    So you should always look for the joy in the ride

  76. Tim James says:

    On my run I was hitting my stride
    When a group of gals started to slide
    Right around me. I chose
    To drop back some, as those
    Callipygian ladies I eyed.

  77. Dave Johnson says:

    After building a home for his bride,
    Down the banister then she would slide.

    He asked her one day,
    “Why not use the stairway?”

    “I’m just keeping it warm for the ride.”

  78. When on a diet, you must abide
    To certain rules; don’t let them slide

    Eat cauliflower
    Exert will power

    Then grab the Godivas and go and hide!

  79. Don’t be discouraged when things start to slide
    You must “go with the flow and rise with the tide”

    Life has bumps
    And many slumps

    But you must always look for the joy in the ride

  80. We bought our son a “slip and slide’
    He had quite a lively, playful ride

    He landed in the roses
    Right under our noses

    Needless to say, we’re fit to be tied.

  81. I found a blonde ringlet on my hubbie’s slide
    He’s a famous scientist known world-wide

    He pushed someone away
    I could smell her spray

    When asked, he said, “I haven’t seen hair nor hide”

  82. Up and down the proverbial slide
    First a groom and then a bride

    He changed his gender
    And went on a bender

    His life’s been a multifaceted ride

  83. I was pondering the opposite of the word slide
    My husband was my scholarly and knowledgeable guide

    He said ascend
    would indubitably transcend

    Any other word that might be applied

  84. When searching for a potential bride
    You should never let anything slide

    She must be well-bred
    And good in bed

    And have a father who can richly provide

  85. Dave Johnson says:

    Chris Christie can no longer hide
    Behind the blinds of awareness denied.

    His conspiring aides
    Are now pulling the shades;

    So right off the on-ramp he’ll slide.

  86. Allen Wilcox says:

    Convinced Dr. Jekyll had lied,
    The police just could not let it slide.
    For them he undressed,
    Then said, I’m not blessed.
    As you see. I have nothing to Hyde.”

  87. Allen Wilcox says:

    The groom brought in rope he could slide
    Around their new bed and his bride.
    She seemed mad and surprised,
    So he then summarized,
    “You, my dear, just look fit to be tied.”

  88. Allen Wilcox says:

    A singer she was with a slide
    Down the charts. Said a friendly elf guide,
    “You need change. By my wand
    You’ll do better if blonde.”
    And that was the day that she dyed.

  89. Dave Johnson says:

    A traveling salesman decried:
    “This city I cannot abide.

    The place is so slow,
    There’s nowhere to go

    For watching chick mud-wrestlers slide.”

  90. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 211.

    But you can still have lots of lmerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Rhyme Raid or Parade.