Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FRAY or DEFRAY at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “FRAY” or “DEFRAY” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
My mood is horrific today.
My temper’s beginning to fray.
I’ve been summoned to court,
And money is short,
So somebody’s going to pay.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Under, the Bored Walk
Once again, here I enter de fray
For Mad’s limerick, starting today:
I love my own stuff,
But she’s ruthless and tough!
(Why not mine, in dim lights off Broad’s Way?)
Boss On Fire, Things Could Get Dire
His temper is starting to fray…
The entire staff retreats to make way.
He’s bright red and glaring:
Oh no, caught me staring!
Quick, I’m “sick”, gotta leave for the day :(
When summoned, the engineers pale,
Their jobs on the line – without fail.
Mr. B stalks the halls
Gloating as each man crawls.
Liked the women, but Beaufort 10 gale…
[In memory of the driven top guy at my Pasadena CA employer, 1985-9:
Dick Bertagna ]
I’ve been lost in the desert all day,
And my clothes are beginning to fray.
Now the vulture team dips,
And they’re smacking their lips
As the biggest one quips “Let us prey.”
OLYMPIA
The girl, needing cash to defray
Her expenses, posed nude for Manet.
But she got quite a shock
When he pulled off his smock
Saying “Painting can wait for today!”
To his menopausal wife, Mae
Said the man, “how much do you weigh?”
When he’s conscious again
He’ll need many yen
For the hospital bill to defray.
Though best to keep above the fray,
Can’t always ignore what people say.
If someone is rude
I will join the feud
And no matter what, win the day.
The US should stay out of the fray..
It’s the masses that they will betray.
Corporations win big
The toxic oil rig!
It’s always the people that pay.
The story line began to fray.
Though the senator knew what to say.
He was well rehearsed
And had been coerced
Still bright people he could not sway.
to everyone’s utter dismay
they threw themselves into the fray
of nuclear talks
and those damned chicken-hawks
are agents of treason today
Now divorced and thrown back in the fray,
José found a nypho named Fay.
As he thrusted his sword,
And repeatedly scored,
She roared and kept screaming: “Olé!”
To every school teacher’s dismay
Spring break led every kid astray
assignments undone
thanks ruinous sun
time to join in on the fray!
She said write a limerick today
I tentatively answered okay,
I’ve never written one before, but
I slammed the door shut
And told myself it’s gonna be better than The Fray!
Their agreement was, he would defray
All expenses and they’d slip away.
The tickets were bought;
But alas, he was caught,
Now she’s off on a free holiday.
There once was a Norse god named Frey
Who made folks be fertile, they say
“By the hammer of Thor,
“Have some babies, have more!
“And someday they’ll call this Norway!”
The charge was: “She caused an affray.”
Fifty fellows, in all shades of grey,
Had been fighting to fuck her,
But thanks to good luck, her
Kind judge was the winner that day.
Titan Torture 15.03.2015
Prometheous made men of clay
then handed them fire, go and fray
“Your insides” said Zeus
by an eagle’s abuse
will defray your folly that day
The eagle came back every day
to gnaw his new bollocks at bay
his cries were in vain
each day the same pain
rude humour of Homer at play?
Some candidates will join the fray
When fat-cats come out to play.
Maybe dumb or less-gifted,
With money bags grifted
They might win; then we get to pay.
Junior Cotton
Does the thought of a nuclear fray
On your mind ever heavily weigh?
To allay your concern
It might help if you learn
From a story I’d like to convey
We were close, in a land far away
To a plan that Iran would obey
But before they could sign
The proverbial line
Junior Cotton stepped into the fray
Cotton’s hope was to cause a delay
Or to side-track, unsettle, and fray
Global nuclear talks
While congressional hawks
Rattle sabers and bluster and bray
Junior Cotton contends by the way
That the presidency is passé
That a deal with ‘The Chief’
Would be worthless and brief
And in statecraft the Senate holds sway
But his stupid seditious display
Caused the Tea Party caucus to fray
And while they’re walking back
His subversive attack
Saner statesmen will Kerry the day.
She requires he’ll have to defray
Her full fee and then she will play.
The old pros can tell
That’s crazy as hell;
But her management has final say.
My wife and I got in a fray.
Use anapest? Iamb? No way!
When I realized
That she’d compromised,
I agreed then to meter half-way.
Flooring the Clients
His underwear’d started to fray:
Yanked it off, pulled it back on all day
And night…Just stay nude,
He enthused, I’m a dude
Whose body is heaven, chicks say!
As they pay to be pleasured and smile,
He GRINS: bank account wins all the while.
Goes through Speedos like fire,
But his earnings pile higher ~
Recalled, when he winces: cold tile :(
It’s A Jungle Gym Out There
She avidly entered the fray
After holding herself back all day.
Millie, stop! yelled the teacher
Who just couldn’t reach her:
She pummeled Big Billie, who’d pay
For knocking her blocks down last week.
Upset so, she got past her “meek” –
I’ll get even somehow!
Told her mom, in a vow…
Sat on Billie, who let out a squeak.
Do you promise? Leave my blocks alone!
Bully Billie agreed with a groan.
Girls can be just as bad…
Ten years on, Millie’s glad ~
She sits drafting, engrossed, in the zone 8^D
My temper’s beginning to fray:
Seems August is now seeing May,
While April and June
Are still dating the goon…
“Must be Global Warming,” I say.
(I think you had to be alive in 1987 for this to make sense)
My temper is starting to fray:
I’ve thrown all my flu shots away.
Patients wake up from sleep,
Put on make-up, and weep —
I need Tamiflu, not Tammy Faye!
Those folks cause my temper to fray,
Who claim it’s a choice to be gay.
But I’ll lower my voice:
Being dumb is no choice,
And you can’t pray the Stupid away.
A priest and a nun ran away
they were feeling happy and gay.
They played hookey
And did the nookie
Came back to defrock and defray.
Edna was a lady: risque
She worked on the corner near Bay
She now charged more
A “Call Girl”, no longer a whore
Extra proceeds needed to defray.
Today was a wonderful day
I joined the “no smoking ” fray.
But when thoughtless Ms. Grace
Blew smoke in my face
I chased her with prime pepper spray.
Tomorrow is Sis’s wedding day
I am in a state of disarray
She ruined my clothes
And ripped my hose
Her wedding gown is a ” Dior la Fray.”
The gals in the latest fray
Wear purple hair and skunky spray.
Their dates are few
Most men say “pew”
Yet in the zoo, they’re provocative prey.
not a duplicate; fewer syllables!
It is Sis’s wedding day.
Everything’s in disarray.
She ruined my clothes
And ripped my hose.
Her gown is a “Dior La Frey”
A rover named Danny O’Shea
Saw a ruckus and jumped in the fray.
When ’twas over and done,
Our Danny had won;
But his honker might not be OK…
The coach said “Let us pray”
The Cubs are playing today!
Miracles Occur
But let us confer
With the White Sox to help us defray.
My wife and I had a fray
about who should get more pay.
I’m out hooking
And he’s home cooking
I accede; I smell yummy pate.
not a duplicate
My husband and I had a fray
About who should get more pay
I’m out hooking
While he’s home cooking.
I accede; I smell yummy pate.
Sweet Mulligan’s “Lord of the Dance”
Just look at his grace and his stance!
On St. Patrick’s Day
He’ll win a dance fray!
Just watch him move, behold his prance!
It’s sad, but I have to say
My husband was short on pay.
I got a job as a ho
and blow by blow
our expenses did finally defray
He insisted on having his way;
And her nerves were beginning to fray.
So she said “OK, fine
Then you pick the wine;
But please, no more boxed Chardonnay!”
He said “I would like you to stay;
Your cab fare I’ll gladly defray.”
She paused, then replied:
“I don’t need a ride;
Except one, for which you’ll have to pay.”
Of all the things I must pay
Alimony just won’t go away.
I’ve had so many spouses
Who are all downright louses
It’s my largest expense to defray.
Today I jumped into the fray
Against Priests that continually prey
On weak, timid, and wee–
“Charge a re-stalking fee
And remind ’em there’s still Hell to pay!”
“The Church has some costs to defray
Since lawsuits were filed today
‘Cause a child said, “Jay’s stalkin’ me.”
“So, what, you’re defrockin’ me?
Well, defrock you too!” shouted Jay
It was clearly a most frabjous day
As the slithy toves gimbled away
To avoid Jabberwock,
Whose claws pinch and jaws lock
Onto danglers just starting to fray.
Dee’s help’s tiring and brings her no pay
But she volunteers day after day.
On her days off from work,
She helps homeless. To shirk
Would be too high a cost to Dee Fray.
If I could, I would take you away
On a trip to the moon for a day
The costs I’d offset
Just by selling my jet
But I’ve got no free day to defray
As I tie to the wheel young Miss Day,
I’ve made sure to secure so when they
Roll her off down the hill,
There’s no way that she will
Come detached and her end’s wheel knot fray.
I’m just human and have feet of clay
And can’t do in extr’ordin’ry way
All the things that I wish,
Like make loaves and two fish
Stretch to feed all and end hunger’s fray.
I’ve started some limericks, none Finnish though,
But still I would say I can finish, so
If you don’t believe it
Then Watch me achieve it
St. Patrick’s the source of my dinnish flow.
She’s just arrived home from the Doctor
Who proded, and poked ‘er, and procked ‘er
For whatever he sees
To help fight her disease–
A green rash from where St. Patrick’s cocked ‘er!
I await the results from Israel, hoping my limerick proves true
In the current political fray,
I have heard the Republicans say,
“Netanyahu’s the man
To spoil talks with Iran.”
But, ha-ha! He’s a loser today.
I’ve been watching my good nature fray
As climate deniers delay.
That Tea Party faction
Blocks government action.
All we need, they profess, is to pray.
The biggest expense to defray
Is a sleek four-wheeler called “Ray”
I bought a Ferrari
And, boy am I sorry.
I’ll be in debt till I pass away.
It seems there’s a scandal a day
About Congressmen who boost their pay.
It comes as no Schock
That this guy had to walk.
He should know which expense to defray.
Aaron Schock Resigns.
He’s in no mood to defray
The cable bill he got today.
But cheer up, my friend,
We’re close to the end;
With Apple, there’s help on the way.
My largest expense to defray
Was found at the Jeweler: “Kaye”
I had a fling
Bought a diamond nose ring.
I hope I don’t sneeze it away!
The skydiver found with dismay
That his ’chute was beginning to fray.
It was no use at all
When he entered free fall,
And he ended the dive as purée.
There’s a Frenchman they call DSK;
Scandalous events he’ll defray.
The party he throws
Will feature no clothes
And “guests” caterwauling for pay.
Well, some jumped the gun I would say
‘ObeyMe’ did not get his way
The man oft assailed,
Netanyahu, prevailed
Thank God an adult’s in the fray
Let the facts not get in the way,
Queen Hillary’s above the fray
For this pompous twat,
The rules just do not,
Apply to her ass anyway
Trust Hillary? No way in hell
Bill knows she is inept as well
The last time, mind you,
She had a job to do,
It was outsourced to Monica L.
The Republican flavor today
Is a fellow who likes to say:
“Education is bunk;
We don’t need that junk
With the Koch brothers there to defray.”
The dress you’re wearing today
Has a tendency to fray.
If you travel,
It will unravel
And your booty will be on display.
When Scott Walker entered the fray,
His whole record went on display.
A dubious slate;
He’s driving his state
Ever backward, with more on the way.
For a clothesline, she chose to defray
And hang out her undies that way.
Here comes a big breeze;
Now everyone sees
What matches her red bustier.
John Boehner’s hell-bent to delay
All steps in the governance fray.
To get something done
And help everyone
Is just not the G.O.P. way
When Walker entered the fray
The state of that state: disarray
The deficit: billions
Now a surplus of millions
And backwards, they’re headed, you say?
Boadicea went into the fray
In the sun on a very fine day.
They said that she darted
But I heard she farted
Not into the fray but her dray.
not a duplicate….similar
It’s very disturbing to say
My husband’s been cut short on pay.
I got a job as a ho
And blow by blow
Our expenses began to defray.
It’s time to join the fray
of “Narcolepsy All The Way”
I can’t pretend anymore
that I’m awake when I snore.
It’s time to hit the hay
Scott Walker had started his day
At a news conference – part of the fray.
A question was posed;
The answer he chose:
“I dunno, but maybe someday…”
Her patience was starting to fray;
The delivery was set for that day.
Then, a knock on the door;
The box hit the floor
And they did it – right in the foyer.
I’m spending more cash every day.
My organics bill’s hard to defray.
“It’s a veggie disaster,”
I complain to my pastor,
But he just suggests, “Lettuce spray.”
The massage parlor owner, one day,
Was arrested by cops in a fray.
‘Twas no violation,
Said cops; situation
Was that we were just rubbed the wrong way.
His nerves were beginning to fray.
His church was being eaten away,
With the termite advance,
He saw only one chance,
So his sermon began, “Let us spray.”
His clothes were beginning to fray,
But he reached the top first in a day.
Said the Japanese winner
At his victory dinner,
“With my prize,who says “climb doesn’t pay”?
I try to stay out of the fray
As I go on my own merry way.
Ev’rybody I’m near
Gets a smile and good cheer.
Meanings change — that was once known as “gay.”
We sink deeper with each passing day
In that damnable Middle East fray
While Canadians feel
Endless war lacks appeal.
We could sure take a cue from them, eh?
We’re now at the start of the fray
For who’s in the White House one day.
Two sides of the fence;
So let us commence
And not let the Koch brothers sway.
Tired of the fad diet fray,
I went gluten-free yesterday.
Don’t need no wheat,
I’m ready to eat
Some tasteless concoction today.
We met at a Waikiki fray
I fetched us Mai Tais right away
She said with a wink,
“Gee, thanks for the drink,
I suppose you’re expecting a lei?”
My nerves they often do fray
When the pols do trumpet and bray
As their service most civil
Turns to doody and drivel
And emits a nasty bouquet.
I find it hard to get into the fray
Of the songs popular, today
I’m 88
And still like to date
And swing with Sammy Kaye
A nasty old parrot named Jay
Got cuss words mixed up in a fray.
He squawked “Hey, you dumb tish!
Don’t feed from my dish –
You’re such a big holeass today!”
Substitute “you” and “your” or “he” and “his” or “she and “hers” as you wish,
My clothes – they’re beginning to fray.
My hair – it’s now turning quite gray.
My sexual function –
I have no compunction
To admit that it’s all gone away.
But it’s harmless if clothes start to fray,
And what’s more distinguished than gray?
And if my proclivity
For sexy activity
Is gone, I can still seize the day!
A last-minute entry.
The sorceress Morgan La Fey
Cast a spell that endures til today.
It continues to vex me.
Why did that witch hex me?
I need Merlin to enter the fray.
Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 206.
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Rhyme: BEAM.