Limerick of the Week (199)
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to ALLEN WILCOX, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow was trying to pass
A lass who was swinging her ass
Side to side (super-sized).
He was quite hipnotized,
And his privates went public en masse.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jon Gearhart, Colleen Murphy, Scott Crowder, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jon Gearhart:
For my birthday, my son bought a pass
To go fishing. They stock them en masse.
They’ll replaice what you like.
We caught walleye, carp, pike,
But they cut us off, right at the bass.
Colleen Murphy:
A student who struggled to pass
Had trouble with volume and mass.
“Fill it in, fill it up?
Is it pounds or a cup?
I’m too dense for this matter, alas.”
Scott Crowder:
A man made an unfruitful pass
At a gal in his calculus class.
And now he knows why
When you’re solving for pie,
You don’t want to mention her mass.
Jon Gearhart:
When a quarterback drops back to pass,
The refs need a spy on his ass
To make sure that his balls
Are the right size. If all’s
Not the same, they’ve been letting off gas!
Konrad Schwoerke:
A fellow who made a lewd pass
Has confirmed for his wife he’s an ass
And a two-timing prick,
So she severs his dick–
Now it lies, like a snake, in the grass.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Allen Wilcox, Colleen Murphy, Jon Gearhart, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Please cite my verse “Taken For A Ride” above as submitted (lines 4 & 5). I also don’t prefer the “caps” beginning lines 2 thru 5 — because that technique can be grammatically confusing. Sentences beginning and ending are critical to rhythmic effect and understanding. In this case none of those words begin a new sentence or present any other need to be capitalized. I recognize, however, that many prefer such styling, so that concern is much less troubling. I appreciate the recognition (and the amount of work that judging and publishing results represent). And I remain very grateful for the opportunity you are creating.
To Ron B.: With great regret, I have removed your limerick from the Honorable Mentions, since you object to my edits. While I found your limerick wordplay amusing, I also found your limerick somewhat confusing/illogical without my change.
Re the caps question, unlike other poetry, the limerick tradition is to capitalize the beginning of each line, whether or not it falls mid-sentence. And I will continue to heed that tradition with all winning limericks, including yours, should you continue to submit limericks to my contest. (And I certainly hope you will.)
However, since you voice a strong objection to any language edits, in the future I won’t include any limerick of yours on the winners list, unless I feel it doesn’t require any language change at all, even if it means having to eliminate an otherwise very funny limerick.
Great lim Allen!
congrats everyone and thank you MADam!
Congrats to all! Thank you, Mad, for hosting and judging.
A man was refusing to clap.
He said the opera was crap.
He punched his wife in the face;
It was quite a disgrace!
He wasn’t a very nice chap.
(Note to Lisi: You’ve been posting this limerick in the wrong place. It belongs here: Clapping For Limericks. I’ve relocated it for you.)