Limerick Brains (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
At work, I’m surrounded by brains…*
or
A woman was racking her brains…*
or
A scientist studying brains…*
or
A fellow who liked to eat brains…*
or
A man who was more brawn than brains…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Brains
By Madeleine Begun Kane
At work, I’m surrounded by brains,
And it smarts cuz they love to take pains
To display all their smarts.
It seems even their farts
Have more know-how than MY brain contains.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brain Humor, Competition Limerick, Intelligence Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
(I doubt if I’ll have time to write my usual quota this Sunday …)
Today, I am using my brains
Elsewhere than on rhymes and refrains,
For although it’s not funny,
The “day job” makes money,
Which cannot be said of Mad Kane’s.
I couldn’t find your Open Link Night poem here. Did you post the wrong link?
At work, I’m surrounded by brains,
High levels of skill each attains.
And it is well known
That I hold my own
We’re challenged, and no one complains.
A man who was more brawn than brains
I reject, or so he complains.
Though true to my heart,
I like my guys smart!
He once and for all ascertains.
A woman was racking her brains
Allurement thoughts she entertains.
Skillfully seduce him-
To jelly, reduce him.
Use sex without any constraints.
a fellow who liked to eat brains
(me) at holidays took great pains
to obtain them fresh
not that canned trash
then scrambled them with eggs
Our Congress is full of lamebrains
Except those going against grains
The Patriot Act
Is there to distract
And to keep the squawkers in chains
All countries go through growing pains
When obstructionists are in passing lanes
Regressives in charge
With tax cuts so large
The one percent can’t count their gains
To grow there must be some hard rains
As floodgates can’t handle the strains
Something’s gotta give soon
While Republicans swoon
Their policies will derail more trains
I’m tired and and now short on refrains
It’s not too late to vote out our banes
Growing tired of rants
Disingenuous pants
Excuse me while I go clean out my Hanes
A zombie who eats people’s brains
Makes sure they are not mixed with grains
He may be undead
But he still can’t eat bread
A gluten-free guy he remains…
Sliced and diced human brains
Zombie pot Hunan chow meins
In general promote
Sounds from the throat
That express severe hunger paeans
She sucks out his organs and brains
Until only the carcass remains.
The mate of the spider
Is truly inside her,
Converted to silk for her skeins.
At work I’m surrouded by brains
Red cabbage potatoes and grains
I blend them real well
Ding dong a big bell
And make way for hungry great dames.
(Not a spelling mistake)
A scientist studying brains
Found a virus with many new strains.
She called it “mad poet” –
If you have it, you’ll know it –
You’ll write limericks till it pains!
Two women who seemed to lack brains
Underwent enlarged racks, despite pains
To attract men’s ‘substantials’
That is, large financials
They walk abreast prowling for gains
At work, I’m surrounded by brains.
With an ardor that none of them feigns,
They read Einstein and Bohr,
Stephen Hawking and more,
Whereas my speed is more Dick and Jane’s.
A man who was more brawn than brains
To “improve” his appearance took pains
To remove all his hair
As his weight he would pare.
To sum up, then: he waxes and wanes.
Great slumber requires few brains
There’s no need to puff mary janes
Get drowsy and placid
With amino acid
Just drink milk and eat Tryptophanes
A man who is more brawn than brains
Must convince teams that he still remains
A back worth the price
Of admission. Ray Rice
Must show which smashmouth ways he retains.
I’ve inebriated my brains
With more than a couple champagnes
If much more will be downed
I’ll wind up in the ground
As archaeologic remains
Some great entries here as always :O)
A man who was more brawn than brains
Repeatedly suffered bad sprains
Doc said, “Ankle tissue
Is really the issue.”
His friends called him ‘Shit For Membranes’
The world economical brains
That agree with one John Maynard Keynes
Think what each country needs
Is a government that leads
By taking the economy’s reins,
But the way Friedrich Hayek explaint,
The free market should have no constraint
From political types
Else there will be gripes.
With jobs lost and inflation–how quaint!
A scientist studying brains
Discovered several new strains.
They were found in the Congress
And without any fondness
Said brains in the ass brought national pains.
A woman was racking her brains
To learn where she got all those stains
She wasn’t Veronica
Oh, no she was Monica
From this activity now she abstains.
I get sick when I eat someone’s brains.
Though I puke, all their knowledge remains.
I make billions of dollars
From munching on scholars;
So what if they’re ill-gotten gains?
Oops! That last one should have a question mark at the end of L5. Would you mind making that change, Mad? Thanks in advance.
(Done.)
A scientist studying brains
Would dissect ’em and dye ’em with stains.
“What I’ve learned through inspection
Is framing each section
Makes beautiful art,” he explains.
It seems Santa’s got sex on the brains.
Blood of freakiness flows through his veins.
His high-flying reindeer
He’ll approach from the rear
In mid-flight and pull back on their reins.
Indubitably he had brains,
but without taking adequate pains
his mind’s blade to hone,
he merely made moan
as the genius of others made gains.
If buffaloes had bigger brains
They wouldn’t have grazed on the plains
More than a distinction
Of their near extinction
Victims with poor choice of terrains
While looking into actor’s brains
They’ll do whatever entertains
Wrap in something shear
Or to just disappear
Seeing through the role of Claude Rains
A scientist blew out his brains
When experiments led to such gains
That he learned how to mentor
The limerick center,
Causing deadly distresses and strains.
A driver quite lacking in brains
Disobeys all the rules he distanes.
So to no one’s surprise,
He, stubborn, unwise,
Didn’t look as he tried to change lenes.
I once was a guy with some brains
who used them for personal gains,
but when money’s boss
we suffer a loss
and moolah is all that remains.
I’ve been missin’ a gal who’s got brains
‘Cause her head’s filled with clever quatrains,
Also lovely haiku
Plus a lim’rick or two.
Whose brains you say? Madeleine Kane’s!
There once was a man who ate brains,
‘though it caused his tummy great pains.
His butt forced a chirp,
Nay the ol’ panty burp,
But instead a skid mark in his Hanes.
In string theory, constructs called branes,
Or multidimensional planes,
Are to some “Grand Designs,”
Although Fred Bortz maligns
The way Stephen Hawking explains.
See my review of Hawking’s The Grand Design, originally published in the Philadelphia Inquirer. I am not alone in my negative take on that book. (Grand Design)
Where I work I’m surrounded by brains
who are puzzled that nothing explains
why the smell in the air
is from their derrière
but…there’s nary a soul who complains.
A man scrapes up deer hearts and brains,
And livers and gizzards of cranes
The vast interstate
Stocks his dark dinner plate
“Hey, parts is parts.” he maintains
Older women now racking their brains
over sagging their aging explains
should know what is shifting
can still be uplifting
to men sensing and feeling their pains.
Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 192.
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Grand Limerick.
At work, I’m surrounded by brains
I dissect and study remains
because I am dropsy
when I do an autopsy
my clothes are all covered in stains.
A man who has more brawn than brains
and fancies he’s the greatest of swains
Spends all time at a mirror
and in front of the camera
So a muscly dumb bachelor remains