Archive for October, 2014

Limerick Crack (Limerick-Off Monday)

Saturday, October 4th, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow tripped over a crack…*

or

A fellow was starting to crack…*

or

A gal made a terrible crack…*

or

A man who was taking a crack…*

or

A woman was trying to crack…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Crack
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mrs. Grace tripped and fell on a crack,
Throwing shoulders and back out of whack.
This was witnessed by guys
Who began to crack wise:
“On balance, it’s grace that you lack.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (183)

Saturday, October 4th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to JON GEARHART, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:

As companies downsize and trim,
The outlook for some folks is grim.
Those in theater? Don’t be
Too surprised if you see
That it’s curtains for you (likely scrim.)

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Fred Bortz, Kirk Miller, Brian Allgar, Byron Ives, Way2fractious a/k/a Noisemaker, and Allen Wilcox. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Fred Bortz:

When he went to the mohel for a trim,
He avowed, “My conversion’s no whim.
It’s for wedding night pride.”
Said the mohel, “Bless your bride!”
The groom winked and replied, “It’s for him.”

Kirk Miller:

When some branches of bushes I trim,
I am hit in the eye by a limb.
The impact imparts
A whacking that smarts.
I’ve been bushwhacked. I’m feeling quite grim.

Brian Allgar:

She was elegant, pretty and trim;
I was bursting with sexual vim,
But my hard-on regressed
When the hooker undressed
And I found that the “her” was a “him.”

Byron Ives:

Crazy Kim was out painting her trim
When a sheriff showed up, very grim:
“Since you shot at John Dunn
With a blank starter gun,
You’ll be charged with a race crime, Miss Kim.”

Way2fractious:

Her body was svelte, sleek and trim,
For herself (and to look good for him),
Lest her frame become dense
And he stray o’er the fence–
Such domestic noblesse that we limn!

Allen Wilcox:

The pilot was trying to trim,
And the margin of error was slim.
He leveled off ’round
Twenty feet underground –
A landing admittedly grim.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A “Really Big Shew” Of A Crime (Limerick)

Saturday, October 4th, 2014

A “Really Big Shew” of A Crime (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A crisis had come to a head
And a torso and legs. Tears were shed,
Cuz some soon-to-be cons
Stole Ed Sullivan’s bronze.
But don’t fret — they’ve reclaimed AWOL Ed.

Yes, Ed Sullivan fans can breathe sighs of relief: “Los Angeles police have found the missing bronze statue of the renowned American TV personality, four days after it was stolen from the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences.”

Limerick Ode To Holiday Fasters

Friday, October 3rd, 2014

Limerick Ode To Holiday Fasters
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To those who are fasting right now,
It is best not to think about chow.
And I hope that this tip
Doesn’t strike you as flip:
Though it’s stressful, please don’t have a cow.

UK Celebrates National Poetry Day (October 2)

Thursday, October 2nd, 2014

The Brits really know how to celebrate poetry.

Limerick Ode To UK’s National Poetry Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I hear tell that today has cachet
In Great Britain — immeas’rable sway.
With much rhyme and good reason
They deem it high treason
Not to celebrate Poetry Day.