It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A British lad, Jack, hunts for guys.
When he’s queried on this, he replies:
“I don’t know what it means.
I’m just drawn to their jeans.
Now they’re calling me ‘Lord of the Flies.’”
Congratulations to JANE SHELTON HOFFMAN and COLLEEN MURPHY, who tie in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for their respective limericks which received the most Facebook “likes.”
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
He loved his nights out with the guys,
But left early one night — a surprise.
His wife said, “Oh, dear,
Since you were not here,
I tried your best friend on for size.”
Colleen Murphy:
Deliliah kept dating these guys
Who stared at her breasts, not her eyes.
So she wore baggy shirts.
Then if guys were still flirts,
She’d award them the big booby prize.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kevin Ahern, Judith H. Block, Bob Dvorak, Tim James, Steve Whitred, Kathy El-Assal, and Chris O’Carroll. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Kevin Ahern:
The parents of wee girls and guys
Respond with a thousand replies.
Well, here’s a suggestion:
For every question
“Because” is a word to the “whys.”
Judith H. Block:
A woman was dating three guys.
Each one was a gem. What a prize!
One dazzled her mind,
One musically shined,
And one’s cock was a wonderous size!
Bob Dvorak:
A woman was dating three guys:
A doc; a tycoon; but the prize
Was a lama, undoing
The fun in the screwing.
But she’s healthier, wealthy, and wise.
Tim James:
Miss Uhura was dating three guys
And, when asked if she thought that was wise,
Said, “Why not? Kirk will bed
Any chick who’s not dead.
It’s the essence of free Enterprise!”
Steve Whitred:
A woman was dating three guys,
Thinking each would the other despise.
But she one day, it’s said,
Found all three in her bed,
Which was quite the ménage à surprise.
Kathy El-Assal:
Droll master of stealth and disguise,
Boris Badenov told lots of lies.
He’d dress like a pasha
Rush in with Natasha…
Deflecting attempts to diss spies.
Chris O’Carroll:
Said a gal who was dating three guys,
“In their own ways, they’re all sweetie-pies,
But my days and my nights
Need more spicy delights
Than any one lover supplies.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
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