Archive for October, 2013
Thursday, October 31st, 2013
In a recent Washington Post Style Invitational contest, we were asked “to find a question that was part of a song, and supply a humorous answer.” That “Week 1041” contest yielded some hilarious results, and I was pleased to get an Honorable Mention for this one:
* Why don’t we do it in the road?
The road doesn’t have cable.
(Why don’t we do it in the road? – Beatles)
Here were my other entries:
1) Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping?
Not anymore. Not anymore.
(Frère Jacques)
2) Who’s crying now?
Whoever spilled the milk.
(Who’s Crying Now? – Journey)
3) Where the party at?
On TV, complaining about the other party.
(Where the Party At?” – Jagged Edge)
4) Can U handle it?
Put That Thing Back!
(Can U Handle It? -Usher)
5) Why do I keep counting?
You still have fingers left.
(Why Do I Keep Counting?” – The Killers)
6) What kind of fool am I?
Res ipsa loquitur.
(What kind of fool am I? – Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley)
7) How can you mend a broken heart?
I can’t. I’m a gynecologist.
(How Can You Mend A Broken Heart? Bee Gees)
8) Isn’t she lovely?
Finally, an upside to blindness.
(Isn’t she lovely?- Stevie Wonder)
9) Do you wanna touch me there?
I’m calling the cops.
(Do You Wanna Touch Me? (Gary Glitter/Joan Jett & the Blackhearts)
10) Why don’t you get a job?
It’s The Economy, Stupid.
(Why Don’t You Get A Job? – The Offspring)
11) What’s the name of the game?
“What’d I say? Answer a question that’s posed in a song.”
(The Name Of The Game – ABBA)
12) Should I stay or should I go?
Eenie meenie miney mo.
(Should I Stay or Should I Go – The Clash)
13) Why does my heart feel so bad?”
Quadruple bypass?
(Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? – Moby)
14) Why do I feel so sad?
Why do I feel so sad?
Why are your songs so bad?
Why are your songs so bad?
(Why Do I Feel So Sad? Alicia Keys)
Tags: Contests, Washington Post Style Invitational
Posted in Contests | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, October 30th, 2013
If being wrapped in pythons would enhance your massage experience, do I have a spa for you! Get yourself right over to the Bali Heritage Reflexology and Spa in Jakarta, Indonesia, which claims that snake-draping combats stress.
A Spa To Hiss (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh joy! Here’s a spa to avoid:
When massaging you, snakes are deployed.
Yes, they drape you in snakes,
Claiming fear aids your aches.
You feel great … right until you’re destroyed.
Tags: Animal Verse, Fear Humor, Health Limericks, Indonesia, Massage Humor, Pythons, Relaxation Humor, Snake Limericks, Spa Humor, Stress Humor, Therapy Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, October 27th, 2013
Since Halloween is almost here, I’m offering you an alternative: You may write a limerick related to Halloween, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Halloween limerick.
And now, getting back to my regular Sunday challenge: It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was driving a truck…*
or
A woman was planning to truck…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Truck Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was driving a truck
Got stuck in some very deep muck.
Then he ran out of gas,
Slipped and fell on his ass.
Seems that fellow was flat out of luck.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Driving Limerick, Halloween Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Truck Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 90 Comments »
Sunday, October 27th, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Chris Doyle, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Said a butcher in France slicing ham
For a woman: “I’ll throw in some lamb
And pastrami for free
If with me you agree
To play hide the salami, madame.”
And congratulations to Chris Doyle yet again, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for a second limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
I’ll be frank: where’s the sugar-cured ham?
I’ll be blunt: where’s the glaze on this yam?
I’ll be forthright: this beet
Needs a coating that’s sweet.
(It’s no secret how candied I am.)
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Craig Dykstra, Phyllis LaVietes, Kathy El-Assal, Tom Harris, Will T. Laughlin, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Craig Dykstra:
My gramps is forever a ham.
He drops trou and rocks out to a jam.
So last night he’s on Skype
(And I don’t mean to gripe)
But he maybe should turn off his cam.
Phyllis LaVietes:
A woman was roasting a ham
Made of soy. She said, “Yes, it’s a sham,
But I’d feel like a dork
If I were to eat pork.
I am vegan – I yam what I yam!”
Kathy El-Assal:
“You are cured,” said the chef to the ham.
“Now it’s time for that patient young lamb.”
While he nursed his red wine,
Chef looked forward to dine
On paella he’d doctored with clam.
Tom Harris:
The man was a terrible ham,
Whose movie career was a sham.
But he did get one part.
His role: Cut a fart.
He stunk, but went out with a blam!
Will T. Laughlin:
Mr. Cruz: Both your Green Eggs and Ham
Down your mis’rable throat I should cram
For making a game
Of my credit and name.
Respectfully yours… Uncle Sam.
Tim James:
A woman was roasting a ham
When her gas stove went off with a blam!
With a flash and a roar
She got blown through a door.
Now she’s caught in a bit of a jamb.
Will T. Laughlin:
Said the Chef, “I’ve a very large ham
Which I’m anxious to show you, Madame.
Though I’m most at my best
With a plump bit of breast,
And I do like to chowder a clam!”
Now, the Chef was a very nice guy.
‘Twas a meal that he meant, and no lie.
He was truly bereft
When she slapped him and left,
And he still doesn’t understand why.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Filed under Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest
Tags: Chris Doyle, Craig Dykstra, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis LaVietes, Tim James, Tom Harris, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Limericks | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013
Here’s a holiday I could definitely live without:
PRConsultants Group created “Snark-Free Day” to encourage people to take the high-road and go out of their way to be polite, kind and considerate on Tuesday, Oct. 22.
Limerick Ode To “Snark-Free Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Today is a holiday. Hark!
Snark-FREE Day — no walk in the park.
‘Twas conjured by guys
Who think snark isn’t wise.
Are those fellows on crack? Call a narc!
My day would be dark without snark—
Those remarks that have bite, if not bark.
No I won’t be denied
The clever and snide.
This holiday misses the mark.
Tags: October Holidays, Odd Holidays, PRConsultants Group, Snark, Snark-Free Day
Posted in Odd Holidays | 17 Comments »
Monday, October 21st, 2013
Happy Information Overload Day! (October 20, 2015)
Limerick Ode To Information Overload (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Too much data is haunting my dreams–
Excess info and too many memes.
Overloaded with news,
My brain has the blues:
“I’m cluttered with tidbits,” it screams.
So what’s the solution pray tell
That will free me from info-stress hell?
Turn off ev’ry machine
And device? That sounds mean
And quite limiting. Not a good sell!
Is there anything else I can do?
I suppose I could hide in the loo.
But alas and alack,
That room has a stack
Of old weeklies — a factoid fondue.
***
Update: The first Friday of March is the National Day of Unplugging.
Tags: Anxiety Humor, Brain Humor, Computer Humor, Data Humor, Info Overload, Information Overload, March Holidays, National Day of Unplugging, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Stress Humor, Techno-Stress, Technology Humor
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Technology Humor | 7 Comments »
Sunday, October 20th, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was roasting a ham…*
or
A man was a terrible ham…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Ham
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A chef who is rather a ham
Got a band to allow him to jam.
The guy is all thumbs
When he beats on his drums,
But their regular man’s on the lam.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Band Limerick, Chef Humor, Competition Limerick, Drums Humor, Food Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Music Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 89 Comments »
Sunday, October 20th, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A gander was taking a peek
At a goose with a bright orange beak:
“I’m a regular chap
Who won’t easily flap,
But her waddle is making me weak.”
Congratulations to Ira Bloom and Diane Groothuis, who are tied in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for their respective limericks, which received the most Facebook “likes.”
Ira Bloom:
A fellow was sneaking a peek,
At a gal with an awesome physique.
Such a treat for the eyes!
Perfect breasts! Perfect thighs!
It’s too bad that his prospects were bleak.
Diane Groothuis:
Cinderella was taking a peek
At Prince Charming, so handsome and sleek,
And later that night
When she rushed home in fright,
He brought her a shoe from Lalique.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Robert Schechter, Craig Dykstra, Tim James, Kevin Ahern, Phyllis LaVietes, Chris Doyle, Robert Basler, and Kirk Miller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Robert Schechter:
I covered my eyes, did not peek,
When the two of us played hide and seek,
And you hid really well.
The way I can tell?
You’ve been gone now for more than a week.
Craig Dykstra:
He had wanted to get just a peek,
At her cleavage so tan, soft and sleek.
But his fingers had flown
With a mind of their own–
Now his cast won’t come off ’til next week.
Tim James:
A gal at her physical peak
Can make love twenty times in a week.
In my youth that was nifty,
But now that I’m fifty
Be careful. You’ll break this antique.
Kevin Ahern:
My mother developed a pique
At the mouse in our house’s physique.
The thing that inflames
Her most are its games;
It likes to play hide and go squeak.
Phyllis LaVietes:
A woman was sneaking a peek
At the limerick theme for next week.
She said, “I will show ‘em,
I’m writing a poem,
For the prize won’t be won by the meek!”
Chris Doyle:
At a ball in Dushanbe, I peek
At the gentlemen’s fox trot technique,
Then fall flat on my ass
When a comely young lass
Makes a pass as we dance cheek Tajik.
Robert Basler:
A fellow was climbing a peak.
To get to the top took a week.
He said, with a frown
“It is much quicker down.
“I just untie this knot, then I — eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!”
Kirk Miller:
He would count to one hundred, not peek.
Dr. Jekyll was rather unique.
Somewhere deep in his mind,
Alter ego he’d find
When the doctor would play Hyde and seek.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Chris Doyle, Craig Dykstra, David Lefkovits, Diane Groothuis, Ira Bloom, Kevin Ahern, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis LaVietes, Robert Basler, Robert Schechter, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
Limerick Ode To Dictionary Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
At this moment, I’m feeling quite spurred
To just soak up a new-to-me word.
Lest you think I’m all wet,
I have reasons — don’t fret:
Webster’s birthday’s today, so I’m stirred.
Have you any new words to suggest?
One that’s odd or obscure would be best.
Something wickedly cool,
Like “facinorous.” Who’ll
Help ensure that my word need’s addressed?
****
American lexicographer Noah Webster, of dictionary compilation fame, was born October 16, 1758.
Tags: Dictionary Humor, Language Satire, Noah Webster, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Webster's Dictionary, Words Humor
Posted in Language Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Writing & Publishing Humor | 7 Comments »
Tuesday, October 15th, 2013
Happy National Grouch Day! (October 15)
Limerick Ode To National Grouch Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A cranky and grumbly old grouch
Would complain day and night from the couch
About money, TV
And his back, neck and knee.
That fellow’s divorced, I would vouch.
Tags: Bad Behavior, Grouches Humor, Husband Humor, Marriage Humor, National Grouch Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays | 5 Comments »
Sunday, October 13th, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was sneaking a peek…*
or
A woman was showing her pique…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Peek
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A scent expert, sneaking a peek
At some formulas, heard a loud creak.
Though he hid just in time,
He was caught at his crime
When he farted, emitting a reek.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Perfume, Poetry & Prompts, Theft, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 79 Comments »
Sunday, October 13th, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Kathy El-Assal, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
In the Marrakech souk, a trained snake
Emerged from his basket, awake.
The snake charmer rose
And offered to pose.
“No fangs!” said the visiting sheik.
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra who, in a tie with HIMSELF, wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for these TWO limericks which received the most Facebook “likes.”
She swerved sharply, avoiding a snake,
And her car ended up in the lake.
To the man at the shop,
Said “The damn thing won’t stop –
If you would, sir, please give me a brake.”
and
The guest had a very large snake
And was feeding it pieces of cake.
But the host said, “Ya know
It seems in-apropos
To be bringing your pet to a wake.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice Jenine, a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats, Phyllis LaVietes, Robert Basler, and Steve Whitred. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice Jenine, a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats:
A woman encountered a snake
And cooed to it, offering cake:
“Your pattern is stunning,
I find you quite cunning.”
Six people attended her wake.
Phyllis LaVietes:
A woman encountered a snake
Which offered her chocolate cake.
“Forbidden! My diet!”
She said, “Or I’d try it.”
Eve’s making no Eden mistake.
Robert Basler:
A woman encountered a snake
In some batter she started to bake.
She gasped, and said, “Whoa!
“I’m baking a boa!
“Prepare to be hugged by a cake!”
Steve Whitred:
A woman encountered a snake,
So a soup she decided to make.
Met a croc, made a stew,
Now her boyfriend’s untrue,
And she’s thinking a brisket she’ll bake.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Craig Dykstra, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Patrice Stewart, Phyllis LaVietes, Robert Basler, Steve Whitred, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Thursday, October 10th, 2013
The history of the tuxedo (tux) has several versions, all of which involve New York’s Tuxedo Park Club. According to one version, on October 10, 1886:
Griswold Lorillard (of Lorillard tobacco fame) wore a tailless dress coat that was tailored in England. He wore it to the country club at Tuxedo Park, New York; therefore, the name: tuxedo. The rest is formal fashion history. The tux would later replace the tailcoat.
Limerick Ode To The Tux
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you go to a party deluxe
And are forced to squeeze into a tux,
Some say Lorillard’s the guy
You can thank when you buy
Or must rent one for too many bucks.
Tags: Fashion Humor, Formal Attire, Griswold Lorillard, Men's Clothing, New York, October Holidays, Tux Limerick, Tuxedo Humor, Tuxedo Park
Posted in Fashion Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To The Tux
Wednesday, October 9th, 2013
Not A-Mused (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Inspiration is gone — I’m bereft,
For I fear my dear muse has just left.
And my brain’s auto-rhymer
Is spent — the old-timer
Says, “Write something rhyme-free with heft.”
A serious verse that’s rhyme-free?
I’m sorry — that just isn’t me.
I don’t layer my verse
Or deep meaning disperse.
I’d rather spread light-hearted glee.
If you’re waiting for metaphor, stop.
And a simile simply won’t pop.
My verse just won’t hatch
Without rhyme — that’s the catch:
An unfertilized limerick crop.
Tags: Creativity, Inspiration, Muse, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Creativity Verse, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | 18 Comments »
Sunday, October 6th, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman encountered a snake…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here are my two limericks:
Snake Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman encountered a snake
And wondered just what it would take
To catch it and kill it,
Then drizzle and grill it,
Or perhaps add some pastry and bake.
and
A woman encountered a snake–
Not a reptile — a man on the make.
In response to his hype,
She said, “I know your type.
Your style is I give and you take.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: October 21 is Reptile Awareness Day.
Tags: Animals Poetry, Battle of the Sexes, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Reptile Awareness Day, Snake Limericks, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 67 Comments »
Sunday, October 6th, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Tim James, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A drive-in’s a marvelous place:
Lots of privacy, plenty of space.
Just forget what’s on-screen
And create your own scene.
If you’re lucky, you’ll touch every base.
Congratulations to Colleen Murphy and Steve Whitred, who are tied in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award:
Colleen Murphy:
I finished in third to last place
In a fifteen kilometer race.
Of the two folks I beat
There was one with club feet
And the other, his leg in a brace.
Steve Whitred:
They think home is the “weaker sex” place,
And they won’t address issues of race.
If there’s one thing they dread,
It’s two men in a bed.
Say “hello” to the GOP base.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Craig Dykstra, Fred Bortz, and Jane Shelton Hoffman. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Craig Dykstra:
The young private at “Mae’s Happy Place”
Saw the pitying look on her face.
“Well it’s clear,” said the whore,
“You’ve not done this before,
Because soldier, you’re way, way off base.”
Fred Bortz:
Mr. Speaker, it’s time to replace
Your obstructionist stance with some grace.
Obamacare’s law.
Your bill sticks in my craw,
And it’s time now to cut to the chase.
A blackmail approach has no place
And your Tea Party wing’s a disgrace.
Fund the government’s work,
Pay our bills — we can’t shirk
Or our country will lose more than face.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A woman had just lost her place
In line to a big girl named Grace.
Grace elbowed her side
“Move over!” she cried.
“Or else I’ll have to pee in a vase!”
Craig Dykstra:
From the bar, we went back to my place
Where a secretive look crossed her face.
Well it turned out that “she”
Was more well hung than me.
That’s an image I’d like to erase.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, Fred Bortz, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Steve Whitred, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Saturday, October 5th, 2013
Do we really need a beer-brewing robot that lets you make beer with your iPhone?
I’m Not Swallowing This App (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Innovations can certainly rock,
But at times they compel me to mock;
I’m feeling a jeer brewing:
IPhones and beer brewing?
How ’bout using an iPhone to talk?
Tags: Beer, Beer Brewing, Beer Humor, Brewbot app, Computer Humor, Drinking Limerick, iPhone Apps Humor, Odd Inventions, Technology Humor
Posted in Computer Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | Comments Off on I’m Not Swallowing This App (Limerick)
Thursday, October 3rd, 2013
Birthday Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Name something folks hate to the max
And would love to destroy with an ax.
It is DC-controlled
And one-century old.
Give up? It’s the fed income tax.
Today, Oct 3, 2013, is the one-hundredth anniversary of the federal income tax.
Tags: Government, Government Humor, Income Tax Humor, Money Limerick, October Holidays, Tax Filing Humor
Posted in Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | Comments Off on Birthday Limerick
Thursday, October 3rd, 2013
Happy birthday to Chubby Checker! The father of the twist (my favorite dance) was born October 3, 1941.
I thought I’d celebrate with an acrostic limerick, which is as mind-bending as the twist is body-bending:
Acrostic Limerick Ode To Chubby Checker
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a dance with a hot checkered past.
We grooved on its moves — whirling fast!
I still do it today,
Shifting weight, as I sway–
Twirling waist motion, saucily cast.
If you’re asking yourself, “What’s an acrostic limerick?” here’s some info:
In an acrostic poem, the first letter of each line should, taken together, spell out the topic of your poem. Please note that it’s NOT enough to spell out a word; Your limerick or other poem must describe or otherwise directly relate to that word.
Tags: Acrostic Limerick, Acrostic Poems, Acrostic Poetry Challenge, Celebrity Birthdays, Chubby Checker, Dance Humor, Dance Limerick, Music Limerick, Poetry Forms, Twist
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Acrostic Madness, Acrostic Poetry Prompts, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Forms, Poetry Rules, Writing & Publishing Humor | 16 Comments »
Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
A striking headline: Train Runs Over Couple Having Sex on Tracks.
When Sex Is A Train Wreck (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are folks who like sex when it’s risky.
Taking chances can make them quite frisky.
But sex on the tracks,
Is mad to the max.
Their coitus, I’d guess, involved whiskey.
Update: April 23 is “Take A Chance Day.”
Tags: Accidents, April Holidays, Bawdy Humor, Danger Limerick, Intercourse Humor, Odd Holidays, Railroad, Sex Humor, Take A Chance Day, Train Limerick, Train Tracks, Trains, Transportation
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Commuting Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Romance Humor, Stupidity Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor | 2 Comments »
