Limerick Explanation (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman was asked to explain…*

or

A fellow was asked to explain…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Explanation
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was asked to explain
Why she liked taking walks in the rain.
“I’ve been told I look better
As I became wetter.”
‘Twas a snow job — she soaked up in vain.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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80 Responses to “Limerick Explanation (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Craig says:

    There’s only one way to explain
    (Though I really don’t mean to complain)
    Why the Limerick-Off Monday
    Gets posted by Sunday?
    It’s the “madness” of Madeleine Kane!

  2. kaykuala says:

    A woman was asked to explain…
    Outwardly it appeared in vain
    Was no ruse
    Told the truth
    Her stoical resolve maintained

    Hank

  3. Kathy El-Assal says:

    Mitt was tired of trying to explain
    His taxes and health care and Bain
    So he chose a V.P.
    Less gaffe-prone than he
    But no less addicted to gain.

  4. Pie says:

    Answer please, will somebody explain
    How you gobble but never do gain?
    You just gorge and stay svelte.
    I SEE food: Stretch my belt.
    You thin people just drive me insane.

  5. colonialist says:

    A woman was asked to explain
    How her fortune had gone down the drain:
    ‘Though it was extensive,
    My tastes are expensive.
    And only some debts now remain.’

    A woman was asked to explain
    Why she’d got ten lovers in train:
    ‘”Explain” will do that:
    It means, “lay out flat” –
    Which is what I’m doing for gain!’

  6. ” ‘enry ‘iggins tries ‘ard to explain
    ‘ow to speak stuff like ‘Rain, Spain and plain’;
    But since me, ‘liza Doolittle,
    Ain’t ‘ad much school it’ll
    Need practice again and again.”

  7. brian miller says:

    a fellow was asked to explain
    why sometimes in sun it rained
    he scratched his chin
    before he’d begin
    and what he said you’d think he insane

  8. Al says:

    A lover was asked to explain
    Why his “methods” seemed so arcane
    As he answered he said
    “Let’s get under the bed
    And explore a whole new terrain.”

  9. John Sardo says:

    A woman was asked to explain
    Why she held Paul Ryan in disdain.
    She looked at his budget
    My God did he fudge it.
    She decided to loudly complain.

    A man was asked to explain
    Why his women would so often feign
    Orgasms of delight
    As they slept with him despite
    Preferring partners whose sex was the same.

  10. Earney says:

    A man was asked to explain
    Why his blood test included cocaine
    He said, “Please don’t scald
    My nostrils are bald
    And I thought I was snorting Rogaine”

  11. Earney says:

    A husband was asked to explain
    his embarrassing underwear stain
    “Lost a bet with a friend
    On who could pass wind
    And we also got kicked off the train.”

  12. Pat Hatt says:

    A woman was asked to explain
    The difference between a car and train
    She made a weird noise
    Attracting the boys
    Joining a club on a plane

  13. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow was asked to explain
    His fun with his ole “ball and chain.”
    After thinking a while,
    He said with a smile:
    “I’d credit our love for champagne.”

  14. Hansi says:

    A fellow was asked to explain
    Why all the women he like looked the same
    All of them a fox
    With nary an ox
    Hotties like that, who can complain?

  15. Rachel says:

    A fellow was asked to explain
    Why he’d made sweat mopping his game.
    “I wanted to know
    I was in the show
    and smell the action, glory, and fame.”

  16. scott says:

    My woman was asked to explain,
    why she was so inhumane.
    She screamed, “IT’S BECAUSE,
    OF THIS DAMNED MENOPAUSE!”
    I’d assumed she was merely insane.

  17. Jesse Levy says:

    A woman was asked to explain
    the workings of a woman’s brain
    “Well…what to say next?
    Even I am perplexed.
    So for men it must be quite a strain.”

  18. Craig says:

    My silo guy tried to explain
    The glass panel that keeps out the rain.
    “If it’s not kept intact
    Your crop rots – that’s a fact:
    It’s a case of No Pane, then No Grain”

  19. Mitt’s often called to explain
    Exactly what happened at Bain
    But his explanation
    Is met with beration
    But will he get his Capitol gain?

  20. A dentist was asked to explain
    Why she never employed Novocaine
    “I make such a killing
    “When I start with the drilling,
    “And those gross needles, yikes, what a pain!”

  21. Patrick McKeon says:

    A fellow was asked to explain
    His decision to hijack a plane
    “I’ve got golf with my mate
    And I mustn’t be late
    Else I’d surely have stolen a train.”

  22. Sally Franz says:

    A woman was asked to explain
    Her tardiness, yet again and again
    Why look monastic
    Instead of fantastic
    Lord, I’d sooner open a ‘vain’

  23. Sally Franz says:

    A woman was asked to explain
    Why she faked orgasms sans shame
    It’s easier she said
    To fake bliss in bed
    And get back to my book, he his game.

  24. Sally Franz says:

    A woman was asked to explain
    Why high heels drove her insane
    She picked up a pair
    And said, now I dare
    You to walk a mile in these ‘thangs’

  25. A fellow was asked to explain
    Why his dog was left in the rain
    “If he comes inside
    With mud on his hide
    I’ll just have to wet him again.”

  26. Veralynne says:

    A woman was loathe to explain
    Why her blue dress still carried a stain.
    Someone’s advice she’d heeded.
    Why’d she think it’d be needed?
    Well, we all know now, though with disdain.

  27. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow who needs to explain
    Why his sex drive is now on the wane,
    Often claims to work late,
    To his lonely sweet mate.
    But what of that lipstick red stain?

  28. Claudia says:

    A woman was asked to explain
    why droplets of ink keep her sane
    “they fall into patterns
    of things that matter”
    and carry the magic of rain

  29. Diane Groothuis says:

    Aussie polly who asked “Please explain”
    Had only one half of a brain
    With manner incisive
    And platform divisive
    “One Nation” she sent down the drain.

  30. Diane Groothuis says:

    A fellow was asked to explain
    Why he spent every night with Helene
    “She’s sexy, she’s smart
    And ignores when I fart
    And I know that she’ll never’abstain'”.

  31. Thanks for the visit :)

  32. Rallentanda says:

    a woman was asked to explain
    why she was so terribly vain
    she said I’m gorgeously cute
    the chaps think I’m a hoot
    especially the ones that are plain

  33. Mike Dailey says:

    A woman was asked to explain
    The cause of her pelvic floor pain
    She said handle bar
    Was too low by too far
    And that bike won’t be ridden again

    This is a real problem according to noted medical researchers – go figure!

  34. Mike Dailey says:

    The doctor went on to explain
    Vibrations the cause of the pain
    when you bend low to push
    It raises your tush
    And lowers your hoo-ha again

    The hoo-ha he then did explain
    In medical term once again
    Is a sensitive muscle
    That can’t take the tussle
    Of bike riding simple and plain

    But doctor she tried to explaini
    It’s really not that much a pain
    If I ride for a mile
    I smile for awhile
    Do I really have to abstain

  35. Realizing I’m in the minority here:

    A woman was asked to explain
    Why she voted for Barry Hussein
    She said that she thought
    She would give him a shot,
    Now she wishes she’d picked John McCain.

  36. Diane Groothuis says:

    Cemetery – keeper was asked to explain
    A headstone within his domain
    It said “I am Claude.
    They accused me of fraud
    I am safe here & here I’ll remain”.

  37. Tim James says:

    A mistress was asked to explain
    The photos she took of her swain.
    “In his S&M get-up
    It’s a sweet blackmail set-up.”
    But I think she’s just yanking his chain.

  38. John Larkin says:

    A fellow was asked to explain
    what goes on inside of his brain.
    The operative word
    for his acts is “absurd.”
    It’s that or he’s clearly insane.

  39. Bruce Niedt says:

    Some topical ones this week:

    Mitt Romney was asked to explain
    the running mate for his campaign:
    “I know I’d be lyin’
    if I said that Paul Ryan
    wasn’t picked for some Tea Party gain.”

    Paul Ryan, would you please explain
    how your budget plan isn’t insane?
    I can tell you with surety
    that Social Security
    is not what I’d call “gravy train”!

    The sprinter Bolt, asked to explain
    why he’s arrogant, showy and vain,
    said, “I grab all the gold
    so before I get old,
    I’ll have the most fun with my reign.”

  40. Johanna Richmond says:

    Paul Ryan was asked to explain
    Why his budget plan’s so inhumane,
    And the man had the nerve
    To claim cruel cuts will serve
    Folks they’ll kill – sorry, no pain, no gain!

  41. Diane Groothuis says:

    A fiddler was asked to explain
    Why he harped on the same old refrain.”
    “Repetition ” he said
    As he crawled into bed
    Is one way of easing the pain.”

  42. Johanna Richmond says:

    A commuter was asked to explain
    Her “Oh lordy, lordy!” refrain:
    “Prunes should come with a warning
    ‘Don’t eat in the morning.’
    Now, slick, let me off of this train!”

  43. Mike Dailey says:

    For Johanna
    Then the conductor had to explain
    There was no way he could stop the train
    So she tightened her sphincter
    Till her cheeks got all pinkter
    As she tried to endure all the pain

    Soon the station master had to explain
    Why he pulled that one car from the train
    He said Lordy me
    That was something to see
    Next time I hope she takes a plane

  44. Mike Dailey says:

    My political stance – – –
    I wish someone pleas would explain
    Why on their parade we must rain
    Like Thumper’s mom said
    Keep it there in your head
    If it ain’t something nice then refrain

    For those who need me to explain
    I hate a mud-slinging campaign
    Tell me why you’re the best
    And forget all the rest
    To say anything more is a shame

  45. Manicddaily says:

    A woman was asked to explain
    Why the Spanish plains catch all the rain.
    She burst into song,
    But her accent was wrong.
    She was told to audition for “Mame.”

  46. Bone says:

    A fellow was asked to explain
    Why he brought his ant farm on the train
    With a roll of his eye
    Said, “They don’t like to fly.
    What, you thought I might be insane?”

  47. A woman was asked to explain
    why she hid her vericose vein
    she said with a smile
    it’s been there all the while
    and now it diving me insane

  48. “I’ve been told I look better
    As I became wetter.”

    What a unique compliment! I love this. :)

  49. Bob Dvorak says:

    A fellow was asked to explain
    What he’d do if he had half a brain.
    He replied with a laugh,
    “I’d give up on that half,
    And then vote for that rich guy from Bain.”

  50. Victoria says:

    Fun ones, all. Maybe this week…

  51. Diane Groothuis says:

    Headmaster had to explain
    Why his staff still beilieved in the cane.
    “Well if they miss their classes
    We wallop their arses
    So then they won’t try it again.

  52. Bodhirose says:

    A woman was asked to explain
    Why she loved to belittle and complain
    She had a feeling of regret
    If she wasn’t a threat
    And it was more fun if she didn’t abstain

  53. A woman was asked to explain
    The reason she seemed in such pain
    “My credit’s unstable;
    they cancelled my cable…
    and rabbit ears? Hooked up in vain.”

    Thanks for the fun, Mad! YOU ROCK THE LIM!

    Amy
    Broken Angel

  54. Bruce Niedt says:

    A rewrite of one i posted earlier:

    The sprinter Bolt, asked to explain
    why he’s arrogant, showy and vain,
    said, “I grab all the gold
    so before I get old,
    the world will be yelling, “Usain!”

  55. Bruce Niedt says:

    Punctuation check:

    The sprinter Bolt, asked to explain
    why he’s arrogant, showy and vain,
    said, “I grab all the gold
    so before I get old,
    the world will be yelling, ‘Usain!'”

  56. A fellow was asked to explain
    His reason for going insane.
    As he looked at the world
    The conclusion unfurled
    That craziness was more in the main.

  57. Rich D says:

    A man tried his best to explain
    the stuff that went on in his brain
    “If I said ‘Hickle!’
    and tickled a pickle,
    you wouldn’t believe I was sane!”

  58. Rich D says:

    An older man tried to explain
    his youthful addiction to grain
    he never could ration
    his drink, purple passion
    that ended up pickling his brain

  59. Rich D says:

    Stephen King tried to explain
    the odd stuff the went down in Maine.
    Clowns in the sewers
    and ne’er-do-well doers…
    The Tower drove Roland insane.

  60. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow was asked to explain
    Why he entered again and again.
    “I can’t get the hang
    Of this limerick thang
    But I’m really enjoying the pain.”

  61. Rich D says:

    A lawyer was asked to explain
    why he entered a plea of insane
    “I know it sounds lazy,
    but this guy is crazy.
    He thinks he’s the ghost of Mark Twain!”

  62. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow was asked to explain
    Why his sentences all seemed inane.
    “Well, I’m trying to rhyme
    And most of the time
    Your sights on end words you must train.”

  63. Diane Groothuis says:

    A young bride was asked to explain
    Why she kept falling over her train
    “It’s just that my leg
    Is a stiff wooden peg
    So walking’s a bit of a strain”.

  64. Diane Groothuis says:

    A defendant is asked to explain
    Why he thinks he’s the ghost of Mark Twain.
    “Oh well” said the punk
    “When I’m drunk as a skunk”
    Don’t know if my name’s Twain or Kane”

  65. Diane Groothuis says:

    ‎@ Richard Diakun, A defendant is asked to explain
    Why he thinks he’s the ghost of Mark Twain.
    “Oh well” says the punk
    “When I’m drunk as a skunk
    Don’t know if my name’s Twain or Kane”

  66. Edmund Conti says:

    Mitt Romney was asked to explain
    How he made so much money from Bain.
    “I just fired the lot
    And here’s what I got–
    A gain and a gain and a gain.”

  67. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow was asked to explain
    What accident led to his cane
    “I was building a wall
    When I had a bad fall.
    I SWEAR that I wasn’t profane!”

  68. Granny Smith says:

    A woman was asked to explain
    Her roses, both pretty and plain.
    She replied, in a huff
    “I’m an ‘Old Movie’ buff.
    I grow ‘Rosebuds’
    For ‘Citizen Kane’!”

  69. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow was asked to explain
    A rather embarrassing stain:
    “My umbrella’s so small,
    It topped only one ball
    And the rest was left out in the rain.”

  70. Rich D says:

    A song bird was asked to explain
    if his shooting the breeze was in vain
    He let out a burp,
    instead of a chirp.
    then dry-humped the barn weather vane.

  71. Rich D says:

    While luuuuvin’ the barn weather vane
    the songbird, he didst exxplain,
    “When shooting the breeze,
    I never catch fleas,
    like those that drive puppies insane!”

  72. Rich D says:

    Spinal Tap tried to explain
    their amps and the numbers for gain
    “We’ll blast you to heaven
    when we hit eleven!”
    and hearing was never a strain.

  73. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow was asked to explain, 
    In a tight Presidential campaign, 
    The tropical haven 
    That helped him in savin’
    The tax on his capital gain. 

  74. Dr. Goose says:

    A monarch was asked to explain
    The success of her glorious reign.
    She responded: “I pander 
    To delusions of grandeur
    Of subjects within my domain.” 

  75. Dr. Goose says:

    A woman was asked to explain
    A rather conspicuous stain.
    Said the lady: “This spatter’s
    My personal matter,
    And I have no cause to complain.” 

  76. Diane Groothuis says:

    That songbird was asked to explain
    Relationship with weather vane
    He said”It was there
    And it looked pretty fair
    Tho the cock on the top was too plain”

  77. Rich D says:

    A singer was asked to explain
    the words he sang in the refrain
    They said, “please don’t bore us
    and say ‘it’s the chorus’,
    or whatever you cook up in your brain’

  78. madkane says:

    Thanks everyone for your fun limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 75.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Obsessive Limerick.