Archive for August, 2012
Sunday, August 26th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was peeved at her mate…*
or
A fellow was peeved at his mate…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Mate
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was peeved at her mate
Cuz he’d constantly carp and debate.
He was very suspicious
And frequently vicious,
It’s no wonder that fellow’s now late.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Husband Limerick, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Wife Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 71 Comments »
Sunday, August 26th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman was very obsessed
With being a tidy houseguest.
She was not asked agin,
Though as neat as a pin,
For she’d cleaned out their medicine chest!
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra and Scott Crowder, who are tied in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for their respective limericks, each of which received the most Facebook “likes.”
Craig Dykstra:
Said the wife, when her husband obsessed
That her negligee should have been pressed:
“Are you try’na be cruel
You near-sighted old fool?
I have already gotten undressed!”
Scott Crowder:
A fellow was very obsessed,
And he just couldn’t get any rest,
‘Til the meter was right,
The rhyming was tight,
And the syllables properly stressed.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Bill Klein, Bruce Niedt, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Jim Delaney, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow was very obsessed
With the size of the feminine breast.
When he’d speak with a lady
His glance was so shady
“Up here!” was the oft-heard request.
Bill Klein:
A fellow was very obsessed
With funds he had chanced to invest.
But alas, Facebook stock
Promptly dropped like a rock.
Thus, so did the egg from his nest.
Bruce Niedt:
A father was very obsessed
With the way that his teenage girl dressed:
“You inveterate flirt,
That’s a belt, not a skirt,
And your blouse reveals most of your chest!”
Phyllis Sterling Smith:
A fellow was very obsessed
With a very old house he possessed
On the Oregon coast,
Even had its own ghost.
It’s the spirit that settled the West!
Jim Delaney:
A woman was very obsessed
With her health, as she later confessed.
Scared of losing her wits,
She kept checking her tits
To make sure she was keeping abreast.
Colleen Murphy:
“My poodle is very obsessed
With mating,” his owner confessed,
“The Great Dane next door.
But prospects are poor
‘Cause he’s barely a foot high at best.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bill Klein, Bruce Niedt, Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, David Lefkovits, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jim Delaney, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, August 19th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was very obsessed…*
or
A woman was very obsessed…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Obsessive Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was very obsessed
With getting enough nightly rest.
His reason makes sense:
Lack of sleep made him tense
Which, alas, left him sexually hard-pressed.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Limerick Contest, Obsession Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Relaxation Humor, Sex Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Sleep & Insomnia Humor | 60 Comments »
Sunday, August 19th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Elaine Spall who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A gard’ner was asked to explain
How he’d won the 1st Prize once again:
“Well, perhaps you should know
I use Miracle-Gro
Plus a generous dash of Rogaine.”
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
There’s only one way to explain
(Though I really don’t mean to complain)
Why the Lim’rick-Off Monday
Gets posted by Sunday:
It’s the “madness” of Madeleine Kane!
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Patrick McKeon, Colleen Murphy, Bob Dvorak, Craig Dykstra, Diane Groothuis, Scott Crowder, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Patrick McKeon:
A fellow was asked to explain
His decision to hijack a plane:
“I’ve got golf with my mate
And I mustn’t be late,
Else I’d surely have stolen a train.”
Colleen Murphy:
The medalist tried to explain
Why she stood on the stand in disdain:
“I should not have faulted
Last night when I vaulted.
It’s not that I’m rude, only vain.”
Bob Dvorak:
A fellow was asked to explain
What he’d do if he had half a brain.
He replied with a laugh,
“I’d give up on that half,
And then vote for that rich guy from Bain.”
Craig Dykstra:
My silo guy tried to explain
The glass panel that keeps out the rain.
“If it’s not kept intact
Your crop rots – that’s a fact:
It’s a case of No Pane, then No Grain.”
Johanna Richmond:
A fellow was asked to explain
A rather embarrassing stain:
“My umbrella’s so small,
It topped only one ball
And the rest was left out in the rain.”
Scott Crowder:
My woman was asked to explain,
Just why she was so inhumane.
She screamed, “IT’S BECAUSE,
OF THIS DAMNED MENOPAUSE!”
I thought she was merely insane.
Diane Groothuis:
A fellow was asked to explain
Why he spent every night with Helene:
“She’s sexy, she’s smart
And ignores when I fart,
And I know that she’ll never abstain”.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, Diane Groothuis, Elaine Spall, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, August 15th, 2012
This week’s challenge over at Poetry Jaam is to write something related to games. I hasten to add that the person described in my limerick is fictitious … at least I hope he’s fictitious.
Gamey Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who often played darts
Hated card games, especially hearts.
He threw like a pro,
Beating most every foe,
And distracted opponents with farts.
Tags: Card Games, Competition Limerick, Darts, Game Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Spare Time
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Games Humor, Limericks, Recreation & Fun Humor | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, August 15th, 2012
Three Word Wednesday asks us to use Beat, Pressure, and Substance in a poem. In substance, I’ve beaten them into submission, pressuring those words to fit into this limerick:
Dear Conductor (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear conductor, you think you’re elite,
But in substance, you’re always off beat.
You pressure musicians
With harsh admonitions.
To follow your stick’s no mean feat.
Tags: Conductor Limerick, Conductors Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry Prompt, Three Word Wednesday
Posted in Music Humor & Verse | 12 Comments »
Sunday, August 12th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was asked to explain…*
or
A fellow was asked to explain…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Explanation
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was asked to explain
Why she liked taking walks in the rain.
“I’ve been told I look better
As I became wetter.”
‘Twas a snow job — she soaked up in vain.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Limerick Contest, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Rain Limerick, Walking Humor, Weather Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Weather Humor | 80 Comments »
Saturday, August 11th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jesse Levy who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow had made a mistake
When trying to use Shake ‘N Bake.
The crumbs wouldn’t stick
To his poor chicken pick
‘Cause the darn thing was still wide awake!
Congratulations to Johanna Richmond who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman had made a mistake
Though her mom warned, “Don’t marry a rake.”
At her wedding she knew
It was likely a clue
When his mistress popped out of the cake.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order): Elaine Spall, J Cosmo Newbery, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, and Jamie Hutchinson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Elaine Spall:
A woman had made a mistake.
Hit the gas pedal hard, not the brake.
Through the windshield, with flair
She undressed while mid-air.
Might as well skinny dip in the lake.
J Cosmo Newbery:
A fellow had made a mistake
And wed a young girl on the ‘make.’
Though she left him quite poor,
What annoyed him much more
Was that even her breasts had been fake.
Patrick McKeon:
A fellow had made a mistake
In his plan for a duck breeding lake.
He went and bought two,
But his flock never grew
Since you can’t mate a drake with a drake.
Scott Crowder:
A fellow had made a mistake,
That only a moron would make.
When a girl meets a guy,
And offers him pie,
Don’t tell her you’d rather have cake.
Jamie Hutchinson:
The thought that she’d made a mistake
Hit a lover at climax’s quake:
“Oh, God! What a stud!
But this curdles my blood:
I’m a succubus—he’s still awake!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Elaine Spall, J Cosmo Newbery, Jamie Hutchinson, Jesse Levy, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Thursday, August 9th, 2012
Limerick Ode To Claude Monet
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man with poor vision, Monet,
Had eyesight so weak, the display
Of the world that he saw
Was blurrily raw.
And that’s why he’s famous today.
(Inspired by DVersePoets’ request for impressionistic poetry.)
I’d hoped to write something that was actually impressionistic, but as you can see from this haiku, I was stymied:
Writing assignment–
dash off impressionism–
no clue how to start.
Update: I’ve just learned that Claude Monet was born on November 14, 1840. So happy birthday Claude Monet!
Tags: Art Limerick, Cataracts, Celebrity Verse, Claude Monet, Creativity, Eyesight Humor, Fame Limerick, Impressionistic Art Humor, Myopia, Nearsightedness, Paintings, Vision Humor
Posted in Art Humor / Verse, Creativity Verse, Limericks | 18 Comments »
Wednesday, August 8th, 2012
Tomorrow, August 9, is Book Lover’s Day Needless to say, I’m celebrating with a limerick:
Best Selling Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who had what it took
To author a best selling book
“Wrote” novels galore.
(Able ghosts did the chore.)
He made millions by hook and by crook.
Tags: August Holidays, Authors & Playwrights, Best Sellers Humor, Book Lovers Day, Ghost Writing, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Authors & Playwrights, Book Publishing Humor, Books, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Writing & Publishing Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, August 8th, 2012
One of my favorite weekly prompts is Three Word Wednesday. This week, it asks us to use the following three words in any sort of poem: Crumble, Drawn and Uneasy. Well, I managed to squeeze them all into this limerick:
A Game Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A chess player, looking quite drawn,
Was caught in an uneasy yawn.
“My game skills have crumbled,”
The man weakly mumbled.
“I feel like I’m naught but a pawn.”
UPDATE: July 20th is International Chess Day, and the 2nd Saturday of October is National Chess Day.
Tags: Board Games, Chess Humor, Competition, International Chess Day, July Holidays, National Chess Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Poetry Prompt, Recreation & Fun Humor, Three Word Wednesday
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Games Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Recreation & Fun Humor | 15 Comments »
Sunday, August 5th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow had made a mistake…*
or
A woman had made a mistake…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
A Limerick Mistake
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow had made a mistake:
Paid big bucks for a painting — a fake.
“This picture’s real good,”
He said, “Gothic, by Wood.”
But the tool in the pic was a rake.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: American Gothic, Art Humor, Forgery Humor, Fraud Humor, Grant Wood, Limerick Contest, Mistakes Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Verse, Paintings, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Art Humor / Verse, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 93 Comments »
Sunday, August 5th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A physicist known for her flash
Is bold, she is brassy and brash.
The men at the helm
She MUST overwhelm.
She loves to find Adams to smash!
Congratulations to both Craig Dykstra and Mark Kane who are tied for this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award:
Craig Dykstra’s Ode to The Man in Black:
“Despite all the money you flash
Your Czechoslovakian bash
Won’t be held here – that’s right,
Johnny C’s on tonight
So we won’t allow Czechs, only Cash.”
Mark Kane:
A star who was known for her flash,
Wore a dress which was barely a sash.
Displaying her flair,
While practically bare,
She showed off her ass with panache.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Bob Dvorak, Johanna Richmond, Scott Crowder, Craig Dykstra, Nan Reiner (a/k/a Kitty Ditty), and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Bob Dvorak:
A man who was known for his flash-
In-the-pan antics tried something brash —
Braising food in his shed.
It caught fire; he fled.
So what’s left? Just a pane in the ash.
Johanna Richmond:
A madam well known for her flash
Cut her price to a dollar per lash,
But it flopped – business waned:
Masochistics complained –
How’s a prick to feel pain with that slash?
Scott Crowder:
A gal who was known for her flash,
With Paul was a rock and roll smash.
She no longer sings,
She has other Wings,
And Heather Mills has all the cash.
Craig Dykstra:
On her webcam, her boobs she would flash
And her viewers would tip her with cash
But her cam worked the best
Pointed just at her chest
And away from her bushy mustache.
Nan Reiner (a/k/a Kitty Ditty):
A gal who was known for her flash
Pulled a stunt that was bound to abash.
“’Twas a wardrobe malfunction,”
She cooed with some unction,
Then winked as she raked in the cash.
Tim James:
A man who was known for his flash
Chose a park for his disrobe-and-dash.
But he tripped and he stumbled,
In poison oak tumbled.
The result, like his action, was rash.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Craig Dykstra, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mark Kane, Nan Reiner, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Scott Crowder, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, August 1st, 2012
Ode To Gore Vidal (Limerick Obit)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gore Vidal was an elegant writer,
So acerbic, prolific, a fighter—
The “Best Man” to make hay
Over foibles — wordplay
Fused with wit — an enlightened igniter.
Tags: Authors & Playwrights, Best Man, Gore Vidal, Limerick Obit, Obit
Posted in Authors & Playwrights, Celebrations Poetry, Limerick Obituary, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, August 1st, 2012
Three Word Wednesday asks us to use these three words in a poem: Emotion, Falter, and Touch.
To Emote, Or Not To Emote — That Is The Question (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are poets who write with emotion,
Touching readers with depth and devotion.
Such approach makes me falter
And muse: Must I alter
My whimsy? A risible notion!
(Also posted at Poetry Jam, who asks us to make a verb the topic of our poems.)
Tags: Emotions Limerick, Poetry Prompt, Three Word Wednesday, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Writing & Publishing Humor | 18 Comments »
