Overpriced Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal in an overpriced store…*
or
A man in an overpriced store…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Overpriced Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal in an overpriced store,
Who’d completely forgotten what for,
Told the clerk, “Can’t recall
Why I came here at all.
Just as well. If I could, I’d be poor.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brain Humor, Limerick Contest, Memory Limerick, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Shopping Humor, Stores Limerick, Writing Prompts
a guy in an over priced store
read the tag then passed out on the floor
his wife swiped his card
and charge, charge-charged
as the paramedics came through the door
A gal in an overpriced store
Declared she would shop there no more:
I’ve spent quite enough
On your ** crappy stuff!
If you had your way, I’d be poor.
A gal in an overpriced store
Developed sticker shock, and what’s more
When it came time to pay
She cried out “No way!”
So they escorted her right out the door.
A gal in an overpriced store
Is a show off and just a bore
Hopes to ensnare
But gets nowhere
Not getting what she hopes for
Hank
A gal in an overpriced store
Was searching for bargains galore
The price was horrendous
For Lacy suspenders
which caused her to run for the door
A man in an overpriced store
Had two arms which reached down to the floor
“We get very few”
Said the clerk “quite like you”
“With these prices you won’t get much more”
So my gal loved this furniture store,
She’d get off when we’d walk through the door.
But one day on a dare
We had sex in a chair
Now we’re not allowed back any more.
A gal in an overpriced store
Had a plan as she strode thru the door.
Find a man who is rich,
And make him her bitch,
Then shop as his over priced whore.
A gal in an overpriced store
Was really an expensive whore
When offered a slice
No one cared about price
And they all kept coming back for more.
A man in an overpriced store
Found it to be quite the bore
All flashy and neat
With not even a treat
The most fun was the spinning door
A gal in an overpriced store
Thought her wardrobe a maidenly bore
She picked through the clothes
Until poor hubby froze
And fainted flat out on the floor.
A man in an overpriced store
Turned abruptly and went out the door
He’d be finely accoutered
But financially neutered
And forced to a house of the poor.
A man in an overpriced store
Was schizo and thought he was Thor,
The Norse god of thunder.
He started to plunder
And ruined the boutique’s décor.
A gal in an overpriced store
found herself a nice Christian Dior,
but they thought her a lout,
and said, kicking her out,
“You pronounce it cou-TURE, not cou-TOR!”
A man in an overpriced store
Was seeking a musical score
The man said with a leer
“We don’t ave em ere
We don’t even know what they’re for”.
I was thinking of this movie when I wrote the previous limerick:
A gal in an overpriced store
was thought common and shown out the door.
But she was more than a “ho”:
Richard Gere was her beau,
so she came back and gave them what-for.
A girl in an overpriced store
Coveted a frock that she saw
It looked so fantastic
She put it on plastic
And when she got home hubby swore.
A man in an overpriced store,
Bought Jewelry he hoped she’d adore.
Before their big fight,
They had sex every night.
It was this that he hoped to restore.
A gal in a posh clothing store
Grabbed her guy, locked the dressing room door
Security’s viewing
Revealed they were screwing
‘Get a room’ means hotel, when called for!
A man in an overpriced store
Found shopping an odious chore
But he bought lots of jewelry
Because such tomfoolery
Wowed women and helped him to score.
A gal in an overpriced store
Saw a dress she couldn’t ignore
But when she showed the receipt to her dad
He got so very mad
And tore up her cards right there on the floor
A man in an overpriced store
told his wife, “I can take it no more.
The prices are too high.
I’m saying goodbye.”
And with that he ran out the door.
A girl in an overpriced store
Was really in search of l’amour
She said “All you males
Will never make sales
Until you can say “Je t’adore” ‘
This is a hoot and the truth of it all fits me perfectly. I love to shop but I’m not to good at remembering. :)
A gal in an overpriced store
just couldn’t steal anymore
To make matters worse
They looked in her purse
So laden it dragged on the floor.
A man in an overpriced store
said, “Show me some more, I implore.
This past Mother’s Day
I forgot. Now I’ll pay
restitution by Christian Dior.”
I can imagine her chagrin
Confused as to why she’d come in
To a pretentious boutique
No intention to seek
A thing from a place with no bargain bin
Saw this blonde at my old hardware store,
Who was asked what’s she’s shopping there for
“Well my roommate just said
I must make my own bed,
And I ran out of nails and need more.”
That’s hilarious!
So this girl in an overpriced store
Got no help from the staff on the floor.
So she took off her clothes
And stuck gum on her nose –
After that, she was hard to ignore.
There was a man in an overpriced store
Who really gave the poor clerk what for.
He bellowed, “I drive across town,
Watch my gas gauge crash down,
And you have the gall to want more?”
There’s this terribly overpriced store
That sells Redskins stuff – jerseys and more.
You could spend some big bucks
So it’s nice my team sucks,
I’m not tempted to walk through the door.
A gal in an overpriced store
Said “I’ve never been here before.
The salesclerks are snobby
And dumb as kohlrabi;
I’m not coming here anymore.”
A gal in an overpriced store
Was shopping for one petit four.
The cost was excessive
Which made her depressive
And craving a sweet even more.
I thought it was a regular store
The Secret Service Agent Swore
They offered goods plenty
So I offered the gal a twenty
Who knew she was a whore
While at a local Walmart Store
A huge guy did walk through the door
Away from him you want to stay
An inconvenient truth some would pray
It was none other than Al Gore
Doorway to Discounts
A man in an overpriced store
Thumped his fist and started to roar
I won’t pay this amount!
Where’s a better discount?
And the clerk gladly showed him the door
A gal in an overpriced store
Tried a dress on so tight that it tore
Embarrassed to death
She started on meth
And pounds! Well, she lost ‘em galore!
A guy in an overpriced store
Turned and ran right out the door!
Were di’mond prices too high?
Or was he just too shy
To ask his gal for “forevermore”?
When he got his blue pills from the store,
The doc said “Take one, and no more!”
But he wanted his date
To be great – he took eight –
Now he can’t get his dick through the door.
A guy in an overpriced store
Found items on offer a bore
‘Til a salesgirl, so hot,
Helped him tie a Windsor knot
And joined him for lunch at the shore.
A gal in an overpriced store
Caught a man’s eye (she was a whore)
Slipping into a corner
She let him adorn her
With lingerie he would adore.
Have you been to the grocery store?
It’s hard to find bargains anymore!
If you want to be healthy,
You’d better be wealthy.
Or wear clothes with big pockets and score!
Inspired by Craig Dykstra’s Limerick
Blue pills I got from the store
I took eight – no more
With those Magical Viagra
I can vault across the Niagara
But my dick is bruised and sore
The Prez bought an overpriced store
Of supplies for the Middle East war.
The dealers were sharks,
The bombs missed their marks,
And the Congress declared, “Buy some more!”
A gentleman entered a store
Called “Dressers and Bureaus Galore.”
Exorbitant prices!
A chiffonier crisis!
He couldn’t buy even one drawer.
A girl in an overpriced store
Got a terrible pain in the jaw
And when she went to pay
all she could say
Was”Aw, aw aw aw, aw aw aw.”
A gal in an overpriced store
Said, shocked to the depths of her core;
“With prices so high
“There should be a guy
“To carry me in from the door.”
A gal in an overpriced store
said I will not shop in here no more!
For in I did come
And got groped on the bum
and not one soul held open the door!
A guy in an overpriced store
Was asked as he went for the door
“Can you not find your size?”
“No, I can’t find my price.”
Do you have a section for the poor?
Craig D in an overpriced store
Took his 8 blue pills- no more
They started to act
And this is a fact
He ran through that store in the raw.
I know the feeling!
Put your money in (JP) Morgan’s store
You’d lose your pants and more
These Barbarian’s at the gate
Regulations they hate
Your money is safe under the kitchen floor
A man in an overpriced store
Embarrassed his wife to the core:
While the one percent stared,
Indiscreetly he aired,
“JC Penney’s got dresses galore!”
With apologies to you know who!
His claim – the pills from a drug store
Got him stuck at the front door
The tale of his huge erection
He says – its all fiction
Makes me laugh and roll on the floor
A man in an overpriced store
Was anxious to get out the door
But his wife said, “Be nice
And forget about price”
If you’d like to avoid civil war”
A guy in an overpriced store
Had his left leg shot off in the war
He was after one shoe
She said “No you buy 2”
So he lost it and called her a whore.
Piped a man in an overpriced store,
“You’ve a nerve calling this junk top-drawer!
Not a ballsier scam
Has the world witnessed, Ma’am,
Since the end of the Greek-Trojan War.”
A man in an overpriced store,
A master of “Sleight of Hand” lore,
Turned their diamonds to glass,
With one simple pass,
Thereby funding his home on the shore.
A girl in an over-priced store,
Wanted some shoes and some more,
She saw the price and went pale,
And head for the sale,
But spent 3 grand or 4!
Amydot
A gal in an overpriced store
Had a plan not to buy, but explore
‘Til she spotted a spout
She could not live without
Which she bought, then left broke out the door.
A gal in an overpriced store
Had a thought when she walked in the door;
The plan she was cooking –
While the clerk wasn’t looking
Move the dec’mal point over two more.
A gal in an overpriced store
Said, “This place is the worst on the Shore.
So, snob-shoppers see ya!
I’m going to IKEA
Where I can afford to buy more!”
A gal in an overpriced store
Somehow slipped on a spot on the floor.
Her lawyer she dialed;
A lawsuit he filed
Which led to an overpriced score.
A gal in an overpriced store
had spent her whole budget and more.
She asked with concern,
“Do you take returns?”
“Oui, oui. Please return to our store.”
Here’s an “Alternate Ending” for one I wrote earlier today:
A man in an overpriced store,
A master of “Sleight of Hand” lore,
Turned their diamonds to glass,
With one simple pass,
Now he’s selling their wares in HIS STORE.
A man in an Overpriced store
Sneaked out through the fire escape door
His bag was well stuffed
But they got him hand cuffed
Grabbing him at the ground floor.
A gal in an overpriced store
Was street savvy and evened the score
By swapping the tags
Of designer and tote bags
And left with arms full of Dior
A man in an overpriced store
Was caught while breaking the law
Not a thing he shoplifted
But an STD he regifted
To an equally overpriced whore
A girl in an overpriced store
was too tired to shop any more
She snuck under a shelf
For some time to herself
And noisily started to snore
A man in an overpriced store,
Decided to sell what he wore.
Once down to his socks,
He attracted a “Fox”
To his open undressing room door.
A gal in an overpriced store,
Left open her dressing room door.
As fellows peeked in,
She offered them sin.
Rent free, she was earning much more.
A gal in an over priced store,
With her wardrobe a bit of a bore,
She wanted something unique,
And a little bit chic,
But bought a tracksuit made from velour.
A gal in an overpriced store,
Lived the life of royalty before,
But to keep looking flash,
Sold her toes for some cash,
And now she’s a shoe size four.
A gal in an over priced store,
Was spending like never before,
She thought it was grand,
Til it got out of hand,
And could afford any more!
A man in an overpriced store,
returned some used skivvies he’d wore.
Said they pulled out his hair,
and then showed them where.
Now he can’t shop there no more.
A gal in an overpriced store
Clicked her heels `cross the marbled floor
Accosted by snooty
Salesgirl–far from foodie–
asked if she was in the wrong store.
A guy in an overpriced store
Was dressed head to toe in valor
Told the price of black boots
He responded with hoots
Said, for that price they should dance out the door.
A gal in an overpriced store
Amid cashmere sweaters galore
Bore some skeptical looks
From men suited in Brooks
Winning Lotto, she could buy the store.
A guy in an overpriced store
paled at the price tags he saw
Unwilling to admit
He had not a chit
He proclaimed the quality poor.
A man in an overpriced store
Saw a selection of wines galore
When the tasting was done
He had red on his tongue
Now he’s not tasting the wine anymore….
Thanks so much everyone for your entertaining limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, The Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners! Limerick of the Week 62.
But don’t worry — you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Unpersuasive Limerick.