Limerick Quest (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was off on a quest…*

or

A woman was off on a quest…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Quest
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was off on a quest
To beat his old personal best.
His skill wasn’t taxing—
In fact it’s relaxing.
His new record? A four-week long rest.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

UPDATE: August 15th is National Relaxation Day.

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97 Responses to “Limerick Quest (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Linkmeister says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    He headed North by Northwest
    He met a bewhiskered magician
    Who asked “Son, what’s your mission?”
    Said he “To get a good rest!”

  2. Diane Groothuis says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    To show off his vigor and zest
    He hiked and he biked
    And did all that he liked
    To prove that his strength passed the test.

  3. viv blake says:

    A fellow set off on a quest
    to slay dragons with fervour and zest
    But all he could find
    was a small golden hind
    so he went home rather depressed.

  4. A fellow was off on a quest
    To score an A+ on his test.
    So he read Robin Hood
    But it did little good,
    For his test was in math, so he guessed.

  5. A fellow was off on a quest
    To find a young lady, undressed.
    As his opening line
    Was “Your place or mine?”
    The ladies were far from impressed.

  6. A woman was off on a quest
    For a man who, at her behest,
    Would dentally undress her
    Sensually caress her,
    And…you’ll have to imagine the rest.

  7. Diane Groothuis says:

    A woman was off on a quest
    To bounce down the street on one breast
    If you do it like that
    Your boobs will be flat
    And you won’t be too good on the nest.

  8. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    To grow a few hairs on his chest.
    He couldn’t be blamed,
    For he felt so ashamed
    That no bristles stuck out through his vest.

  9. A fellow was off on a quest,
    For the best food in all Budapest
    His wife said, “Eureka!
    “Such tasty paprika!”
    Her husband said, “Shirley, you jest…”

  10. John Sardo says:

    A woman was off on a quest
    To fulfill her lover’s request
    She danced in the nude
    Said how’s that look, dude
    He then bedded her down with new zest.

  11. John Sardo says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    For a spotted pink owl’s nest
    I’ve seen this pink bird
    After downing a third
    Martini and feeling quite blessed.

  12. Diane Groothuis says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    To find some good food to digest
    Oysters and flake,
    Followed by steak
    With champers–but only the best!

  13. Hansi says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    To find a bullet-proof vest
    He asked for direction
    To seek is protection
    And hoped his quest would be blessed.

  14. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    To rid himself of an annoying house guest.
    Nothing seemed to work,
    So he said with a smirk
    This gun will kill that mouse pest

  15. zongrik says:

    a fellow was off on a quest
    followed by his trusty young pest
    he felt kind of bored
    so he pulled out a sword
    then with windmills attempted to wrest

    don quixote limerick

  16. scott says:

    A woman was off on a quest,
    to put office rumors to rest.
    “I was showing the Boss,
    the right way to floss,
    and that stuff on my lips was just Crest.”

  17. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    Of finding the most shapely chest.
    His employer was Playboy.
    He used that as his ploy,
    For pimping girls out as Hef’s guest.

  18. A fellow was off on a quest
    (He really was trying his best)
    He fell off his horse,
    Got back on, of course,
    But from then on, his quest, it went west.*

    * go west

  19. Veralynne says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    To find gold in the wild, wild west
    Ending up making clothes
    HE got the gold, Heaven knows!
    Levi Strauss’s jeans STILL are the best.

  20. Veralynne says:

    A woman had been off on a quest:
    Was the meat or the motion the best?
    After many years of seeking
    She found herself peaking!
    Love and chemistry bested the rest.

    Of course, that faded with time
    Life became one of rhythm and rhyme
    But they peaked like the ocean
    And learned that the motion
    Though slower, still makes the bells chime.

  21. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    to find a button for his vest
    He tried many kinds
    but none of his finds
    could cover the fat ‘neath his chest.

  22. Jesse Levy says:

    A woman was off on a quest
    to purchase a much bigger chest
    But boobs cost a lot
    so she thought what she’s got
    will just have to B her best.

  23. kaykuala says:

    A fellow was off on a quest.
    He set out initially all in jest
    But he was threatened
    He would be fattened
    And devoured at his own behest

    Hank

  24. brian miller says:

    a fellow was off on a quest
    which turned out to be quite the jest
    his love lied
    with coined eyes
    but was really just taking a rest

  25. daisy mae simon says:

    A woman was off on a quest
    After years of being quite repressed
    She was thrilled to discover
    Am electronic lover
    Her G-spot mechanically pressed

    “Oh GOD,” she screamed, sounding possessed
    “Been too long,” she readily confessed
    She then couldn’t be stopped
    Kept on coming, then dropped
    Died smiling of cardiac arrest

  26. Nan Reiner (a/k/a Kitty Ditty) says:

    A woman was off on a quest
    To give her poor backbone a rest.
    Got her 36-Es
    Sculpted into pert Cs
    And said, “Glad I got THAT off my chest.”

  27. Granny Smith says:

    A woman was off on a quest
    To protect everything she possessed.
    Should she put it in stock?
    In a safe with a lock?
    Or would under her mattress be best?

  28. A fellow was off on a quest –
    his gender to put to the test.
    He was after a sex
    that was rated XX,
    and I think we can all guess the rest!

  29. I cheated on this one. It’s one of my HIMericks.*

    Lorena Bobbit
    was a hobbit
    about 59 inches tall.
    If I had a bobbit,
    she’d probably rob it,
    and then I’d be 2 inches tall!

    *{see here.}

  30. John Larkin says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    which his friends said was only a jest.
    He was failing at school
    and looked quite the fool,
    with pants that had never been pressed.

  31. Rich D says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    to ID his favorite pest
    As he’d determine
    the number one vermin
    his lab rats had eaten the test

  32. A lady was off on a quest
    To play oboe atop Everest:
    “High point of career :),
    But lacked atmosphere :(”
    In her blog, our gal later confessed. ;)

  33. jinksy says:

    A fellow set off on a quest
    to stop himself feeling depressed,
    so he broke every rule
    and acted the fool,
    for humour, he found, worked the best.

  34. Jannpoet says:

    A women was off on a quest
    to find a new husband with zest
    her man was so lazy
    he was driving her crazy
    so she has shot through and gone west.

  35. A woman was off on a quest
    For a knight to come feather her nest.
    Thought she’d found her brave Lance,
    But he put her askance
    With, “M’lady, I kiss only in jest.”

  36. A woman was off on a quest
    ‘Cos she wanted no less than the best.
    Someone wealthy and strong
    who would do her no wrong
    but would add, to her life, extra zest.

  37. A fellow was off on a quest
    As he tucked in his unruly vest,
    To meet a fair maid
    So that he could get laid
    Then he’d get a tattoo on his chest

  38. LOL… I’ll have to think about it and come back if I have one :)

  39. scott says:

    A fellow was off on a quest,
    to formulate civil unrest.
    And if Chicken-Hawk Ted,
    would rather be dead,
    then I’d like to wish him my best.

  40. Adura Ojo says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    to show off his best
    Thought he’d met his match
    but didn’t quite get the catch
    So he became the conquest

  41. A woman was off on a quest
    To sweep the entire Northwest.
    Armed with dustpan and broom,
    She cleaned up her room
    Then decided to wait on the rest.

  42. Shawna says:

    Rest makes for an excellent quest, particularly if seeking to beat a record. :)

  43. Mama Zen says:

    Now, there’s a quest I’d like to try!

  44. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow was off on a quest,
    Of making his chili the best.
    Sampling batch after batch,
    Till he fired that match.
    Now he’s resting as Saint Peter’s guest.

  45. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow was off on a quest,
    Of bedding this gal with his fest.
    She said “Pizza and Beer
    Won’t cut it my dear,
    I’m sorry but surely you jest!”

  46. scott says:

    My woman is off on a quest,
    to make her fried chicken the best.
    She has really progressed,
    and at your behest,
    I’ll promise to keep you a breast.

  47. patience and the prodigal says:

    from Patience:

    A woman, off on a quest
    aranged massive implants for her chest,
    She said, “It adds vigour
    and form to the figure
    but it costs fifty bucks for a vest”

    and the Prodigal:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    for his member just wasn’t the best
    He committed a sin
    with a large rolling pin
    Now it stretches half way to the West.

  48. smiles…a four week long rest doesn’t sound bad at all…

  49. hedgewitch says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    to free all the poor and oppressed
    He started on Sunday
    and finished on Monday
    saying ‘In some things, surrender is best.’

  50. I love your limericks….I always smile from reading them

  51. Granny Smith says:

    A woman was off on a quest
    To find Sasquatch, so she traveled west
    But the beast spied her first
    And he slaked a long thirst.
    She says furry young babies are best.

  52. Brendan Beary says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    To show he’s folks’ cleverest guest,
    But he’s failing; these days
    He is shunned at soirees —
    He’s a limericist, an’ a pest.

  53. Fred says:

    A fellow was on a quest
    with a rose stuffed in his vest
    beside him she took a seat
    so scared, that rose he’d eat
    repeating, thorns are quite the pest

  54. Versebender says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    To give his libido a test
    So he took on a bunch
    Of ladies who lunch
    But all he wants now is some rest

  55. Rich D says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    to see how much he’s digest
    A few hundred wings
    and assorted food things
    he learned he should burp to the west

  56. Rich D says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    His assets he chose to divest
    He achieved moral parity
    by funding a charity
    that sponsored a porno film fest

  57. Rich D says:

    A lady was off on a quest
    to disguise how she looked when undressed
    an old burlap bag
    couldn’t hide all the sag
    Turning the lights off worked best.

  58. Rich D says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    to enhance his long-balded nest.
    It struck him one day
    to craft a toupee
    completely of fur from his chest.

  59. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    Of finding that lost treasure chest.
    After endlessly striving,
    And years of deep diving,
    He’s found “Google Maps” may work best.

  60. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow has ended his quest.
    He found her, consider him blessed.
    She was known far and wide,
    With all that implied,
    As the fastest tongue in the West.

  61. colonialist says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    To Legionnaire like Beau Geste;
    Sand got up his nose,
    Stuck in between toes,
    And into his pants and his vest.

    A fellow was off on a quest –
    To find Holy Grail was obsessed;
    His search for the Grail
    Wound up in a fail,
    And he became very depressed.

    A fellow was off on a quest
    To find him a little love-nest,
    The nest got some eggs,
    And now all he begs
    Is simply one full night of rest.

    OK, OK, I’ll stop now!

  62. colonialist says:

    Puh-lease put a comma after ‘nose’!

    Among many good ones, I particularly enjoyed those of David McCormick (hee hee at high point and lacking atmosphere!) and Brendon Beary.

  63. Granny Smith says:

    A woman was off on a quest
    For her ancestors. She was obsessed
    With her wish to be seen
    As descendant of queen.
    Whom she found were all housemaids at best.

  64. Daniel Ari says:

    Young Eydie was off on a quest
    to star in a movie. She guessed
    from her bit role she’d take
    the spotlight, but heartbreak
    laid Eydie, the extra, to rest.

  65. Craig says:

    A writer was off on a quest
    ‘Cause he knew Mad chose only the best
    The challenge for him
    Was to write the one lim
    That did NOT include “breast” or “undressed.”

  66. Craig says:

    A big-breasted gal had a quest:
    To, in lieu of a bra, wear a vest.
    But the cargo unloaded
    As buttons exploded,
    Surprising her dinner date guest.

  67. Daniel Ari says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    to stop always acting depressed.
    When he heard his wife say,
    “You seem surly today.”
    He came back at her: “Surly? You jest!”

  68. Topical theme over here in the UK just now …

    An Olympic tout, on a quest
    For illegal tickets, professed
    That he’d scammed several hundred;
    “Where to stash them?” he wondered? …
    Errm, would anyone like to suggest?

  69. Diane Groothuis says:

    A surfer was out on a quest,
    Trying to ride every crest,
    But the sea was too lumpy
    And he wasn’t comfy
    He found Mother Nature knows best.

  70. brian miller says:

    already limericked this week so just saying, glad to see you at OpenLinkNight smiles….

  71. Michelle Hed says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    to find the gold filled pirate’s chest.
    Along came a lady,
    she was rather shady –
    his quest stopped for her golden breast.

  72. Michelle Hed says:

    A woman was off on a quest
    to find a long lost pirate’s chest.
    She found that lost booty
    And did her sworn duty
    Kissed her ex-man’s ass, at his request!

  73. A fellow was off on a quest
    Licking stamps for the cards he’d addressed.
    Through five hundred he raced
    Til he thought to use paste.
    “It’s a much better taste,” he confessed.

  74. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow was off on a quest,
    Of lifting this guilt from his chest.
    So he met with the Pope,
    “Is there Hope?”, he said “Nope,
    Just continue to cheat like the rest.”

  75. A woman was off on a quest
    To discern which detergent works best.
    I’m not sure what it proves,
    But she claims Tide removes
    All the stains off the sleeves of her vest.

  76. A fellow was off on a quest
    To be P – O – T – U – S (in jest).
    So he launched a campaign
    But his run was in vain
    Steve Colbert is a pain and a pest.

  77. Daniel Ari says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    to have one of his limericks named “best.”
    “Between accented syllable
    and my faltering quill nib, I’ll
    balk to say which is more stressed.”

  78. Manicddaily says:

    Now I’ll have to think of one – just when yours had me so relaxed. K.

  79. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    To discover what restaurants were best.
    He read all the blurbs
    From the boonies and urbs
    Then complained, “It’s too much to digest!”

  80. Rich D says:

    Richard Diakun A fellow was off on a quest
    to catch up on much-needed rest
    Up to the top floor
    he then locked the door
    and proceeded to get unduressed.

    ( last word is not a typo)

  81. Rich D says:

    A poor gal was off on a quest
    to look like she’d dressed for success(ed)
    Some creative clothes
    and some new panty hose
    He mentor then said, “I’m impressed”

  82. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    To improve cunnilingus skills lest
    His bride trade his pipe
    For a new phenotype
    (The one with two X’s expressed).

  83. Rich D says:

    A jester was off on a quest
    to get to the fair maiden’s nest
    He used his fool’s cock
    to pick the belt’s lock
    and thus the phrase, “surely, you jest”

  84. Broken Biro says:

    A fellow was off on a quest…
    To the ends of the earth, under-dressed
    He said: ‘Though I got grants
    For my bonnet and pants
    If only I’d thought to invest in a vest.’

  85. Sara McNulty says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    to discover the best place to rest
    A secluded small beach
    Seemed just within reach
    He arrived as the only guest dressed.
    —————————–

    A woman was off on a quest
    To spend time with friends as their guest
    Her stay was cut short
    by a police escort
    Wanted for murder, she up and confessed.
    ———————————
    A fellow was off on a quest
    Panning for gold in the west
    He came home empty-handed
    To be reprimanded
    by his wife who claimed he was obsessed.

  86. Rich D says:

    Gilligan was off on a quest
    The shipwreck gals put to test
    He dropped his towel
    for dear Mrs.Howell
    But Ginger was still ranked the best

  87. Patti says:

    A woman was off on a quest
    For a guy who stood up to her test.
    If he’s funny and cute
    And has lots of loot
    He needn’t worry about all the rest.

  88. Diane Groothuis says:

    Richard was off on a quest
    Recognising the word”unduressed”
    Using it normally and
    Posting it formally
    It’s now in with all of the rest.

  89. Rachael says:

    A woman was off on a quest,
    for he who the stories professed,
    would dance upon strings,
    and buy her nice things,
    for the promise of glimpsing her chest!

  90. Diane Groothuis says:

    A fellow went out on a quest
    To have himself amply caressed.
    But a naughty young floozy
    Who was a real doozy
    Stole his wallet and flew from the nest.

  91. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    To conquer the wilds of the west;
    While crossing the prairie 
    He met his friend Mary, 
    Who said she was not quite impressed.

    A fellow was off on a quest
    That his parrot be papally blessed;
    Said a bishop: “As we see,
    This isn’t Asissi;
    It’s best you go back to your nest.”

    A fellow was off on a quest
    For assets in which to invest;
    But despite how he planned,
    His portfolio and
    His investors became quite distressed.

    A fellow was mulling a quest
    To be more informed than the rest;
    He called his wife Joan up,
    Who said: “You should bone up,
    While also remaining abreast.”

  92. Bruce Niedt says:

    A woman was off on a quest
    for a cosmetic surgeon (the best).
    “I got breast reduction –
    I think they used suction –
    it felt good to get that off my chest!”

  93. Bruce Niedt says:

    A woman was off on a quest,
    to win a big poets’ contest.
    In rhyme, no one beat ‘er,
    but she tripped when her meter
    used a dactyl and not anapest.

  94. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow was off on a quest
    For the White House, for which he obsessed;
    “Like an Etch-a-Sketch shaking,
    Positions I’m taking
    May change, if mistakenly guessed.”

  95. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your delightful limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 59.

    But don’t worry — you can still have lots of limerick writing fun: I’ve posted a new Limerick-Off here: A Knack For Limericks.

  96. dan goostree says:

    hi, i am a metal artist who have been commissioned to make a pelican for cedars of lebanon state park nature center to celebrate it’s namesake Dixon Merritt who is known for his famous limerick about the ” Pelican “. i have wrote a limerick about the ” Pear ” which i would like to register. how do i go forward with this?
    thanks
    Dan

  97. madkane says:

    Dan, congratulations on your cool “Pelican” commission.

    But I’m afraid I don’t understand your question. People don’t usually register individual limericks with the U.S. Copyright Office, if that’s what you’re talking about.