Campaigning For Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who ran a campaign…*

or

A fellow who ran a campaign…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Campaigning For Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who ran a campaign
To sell drugs that were good for the brain
Was stunned and quite pissed
At the side effect list.
She flushed pills and her job down the drain.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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62 Responses to “Campaigning For Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    To assist the poor masculine brain
    Found her husband rebelled
    And frequently yelled
    She’s simply my old ‘ball-and-chain!’

  2. viv blake says:

    Rinkly, I have one like that! He even carved a long chain out of a single branch of holly, leaving a chunk of wood attached at the bottom! And that’s what he calls me.

  3. viv blake says:

    and here’s my contribution:

    A poet who ran a campaign
    to abolish the cheapest champagne
    was forced to explain
    why she meant to abstain –
    said champagne should not be mundane

    Post 999

  4. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman who ran a campaign:
    Elect me – I use Restylane!
    But only for filler;
    My creds are just killer…
    Her candidacy was in vain.

  5. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    Blew sunny, then cool, oops – now rain;
    Hold me to my word?
    How constraining, absurd!
    It’s the public that we have to train.

  6. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign
    Which trod only HIGH ground: insane!
    People say, “Turn the…cheek”
    And I’ve tried, but look weak.
    He’ll never hold office, it’s plain.

  7. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A couple who ran a campaign:
    Brick for Mayor! and Guv, Bessie Jane!
    Were all sweetness, kissed air
    In the cameras’ bright glare.
    Meanwhile, they could barely refrain

    From letting their true selves come out.
    Post election, there wasn’t a doubt
    What the state had elected,
    To what it was subjected…
    Voters whined, then proceeded to pout

    Then called for a recall, in vain.
    Entrenched amidst ill-gotten gain,
    “We’ve got the top lawyer –
    Sure as I’m Brick Sawyer!”
    (Which vaguely smacked of MISuse: Twain).

    So is there a lesson to learn here?
    Don’t vote after drinking your third beer.
    Sure, he’s tall and she’s cute,
    With such white teeth to boot!
    But who are they really? You SHOULD fear…

  8. colonialist says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    For running a mother/pram train
    Ran into the fate
    That trains all ran late –
    So that plan ran down the damn drain!

    *excitedly* Do I get extra points for the double-rhyme? Do I? Do I? Or does it run on too much? :)

  9. Thomas says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    together with John McCain
    behaved so madly
    and lost so badly
    so she finally went totally insane

    (Uh, now I did it to Sarah Palin!)

  10. A fellow who ran a campaign
    Said “Vote for me, Herman Cain!”
    But remarks on Gaddafi
    Gummed his words up like toffee
    Leaving stuff twirling ’round in his brain

  11. J Sardo says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    Won and broke out the champagne
    But to her chagrin
    It turned out to be gin
    But nary did a fellow complain.

  12. A *bimbo* who ran a campaign
    To save local forests from rain
    Clucked like an old hen
    When accosted by men
    Shouting “Hey, me Tarzan, you Jane!”

  13. A fellow who ran a campaign
    To ensure he would see every train
    Took his anorak and flask
    So that should it steam past
    He could take down the numbers, again.

  14. Pat Hatt says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    Found she was in the wrong lane
    But she couldn’t stop
    Or call a cop
    As that’s what you get when you ride a train

  15. Mark Kane says:

    In honor of “Valentine’s Day” I’ve submitted a Limerick which describes how my lovely wife Madeleine picked me up on a commuter train.

    It was nearly eleven o’clock at night. I was leaving my job on Wall Street, and she was returning home from a classical music rehearsal in Manhattan.

    I guess I looked quite studly in my three piece suit because she gave me this warm wicked smile as I strode down the aisle. I sat down across from her, smiled back and well you know the rest.

    A woman who ran a campaign
    For wooing a fellow named Kane,
    Just winked with a grin,
    And hinted at sin,
    As together they rode on a train.

  16. Alternate wording:

    A bimbo who ran a campaign
    To save all the forests from rain
    Clucked like an old hen
    When accosted by men
    Jeering “Hey, me Tarzan, you Jane!”

    A fellow who ran a campaign
    To ensure he could spot every train
    Took his anorak and flask
    So that, should it steam past,
    He could take down the numbers, again.

  17. Hansi says:

    A man who ran a campaign
    Was caught in a situation he couldn’t explain
    He told a lie
    Bout the other guy
    Now an apology he’ll have to feign.

  18. A woman believed a campaign
    On drugs to cure her of pain
    But she couldn’t win
    Her bones all grew thin
    Now she won’t take those drugs again.

  19. Kathleen Cole says:

    Sarah Palin’s Remains
    A woman agreed to run in a campaign
    Found out she had a lion by the mane
    Although overwhelming opinion
    Guaranteed the lion’s dominion
    She won’t disappear … traces remain!

    Beehive hairdo, signature spectacles
    Opinions and bold-as-brass testicles
    With her cheat sheet intact,
    She never worries over fact.
    Free speech, sour grapes, her pinnacle!

  20. jesse levy says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    had trouble when out in the rain
    Her mascarra would run
    and the crowd would make fun
    ’cause it made her look terribly insane.

  21. RJ Clarken says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign
    to try and sell more quiche Lorraine,
    said the eggs and the cheese
    had the best guarantees.
    And the bacon’s the best, he’d explain.

  22. RJ Clarken says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign
    on a platform of eminent domain
    was surprised when his lands
    went for government plans.
    “I didn’t mean me,” he’d complain.

  23. RJ Clarken says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign
    went straight for the ‘jugular vein’
    of a entrant’s composure
    regarding disclosure.
    It’s now part of public domain.

  24. Veralynne says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    Backed a candidate…well, quite insane
    His platform was crazy
    His ideas were hazy
    To think about ’em caused a migraine!

    All that money and this is the best?
    HE is who’ll rise above the rest?
    The people were irate
    The campaign runner second rate
    Should she quit and just take a rest?

    She thought: quality sure doesn’t matter.
    Nor does a candidate’s doubletalk patter.
    No one cares if he’s phony
    As long as he’s a crony
    I’ll stay and serve his head on a platter.

  25. Veralynne says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    To have Valentine’s Day remembered–again
    For the first time in 20 years
    She wanted not to shed tears
    So Post-It notes became hubby’s bain.

  26. Veralynne says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign
    Against creepy-crawlies had had quite a reign
    He and his wife
    Led quite the pest-free life
    Whenever she screamed, one was slain.

    (I’m sure you can see I’ve left this one wide open for unending verses about various murders from spideys to meeses to hapless intruders. I was tempted, too, to go on, but I spared you all . . . THIS time!)

  27. Other Mary says:

    This is a bit out of date, but here’s a limerick for you:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    engaged her mouth more than her brain
    with her big lipstick smile
    and speech full of bile
    ‘You bet-cha’ she’s flippin’ insane!

  28. sideview says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    Bent the rules again and again
    When at last she was caught
    She replied “ I care naught
    I’ve had my minutes of fame.”

    late but it caught my fancy

    (Note From Mad Kane: It’s not late at all! You have a full week to submit limericks to each Limerick-Off challenge, and this one’s just begun.)

  29. scott says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign,
    is lobbying Madeleine Kane,
    to forego her rule,
    cuz Mark’s rhyme is cool.
    And nobody here would complain.

    A fellow was on a campaign,
    of easing our financial strain.
    But each self-serving louse,
    in the Senate and House,
    would rather cut Capital Gains.

  30. Altonian says:

    I’m back for another try. Here goes:

    A woman who ran a campaign,
    advertising the delights of Spain,
    when asked by a kid:
    “What’s it like in Madrid?”
    Said, “That’s Iowa, boy, where’s your brain?”

  31. brian says:

    a man who ran a campaign
    let it take over his brain
    buttons & kisses
    but not his missus
    now he’s left out in the rain

  32. David Traub says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign
    to drink only the finest champagne
    Think of the nerve
    to drink only Verve
    Whilst people all starve in Bahrain!

  33. sandra says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    her ethics slid down the drain
    promised wrinkles be gone
    sold face cream for a song
    face washed away in the rain

  34. Michelle Hed says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    was quite tipsy from drinking champagne;
    her red lipstick was smeared,
    she was acting quite weird,
    she just laughed and blamed it on the rain.

  35. Sara McNulty says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    To dance and disrobe for some rain
    Picked out Times Square as venue.
    Cops said “Not on menu!”
    She awoke in a ward marked `insane.’

    —————————–
    A woman who ran a campaign
    for the Senate did not deign
    to sling mud at opponents
    instead gave them donuts
    whose truth serum filling removed all restrain.

  36. Barbara Hobens says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign
    knew his boss was truly insane
    But he hid it so well
    Since his pay was so swell
    And voters were accustomed to lame.

  37. Michelle Hed says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign
    was enjoying life in the fast lane;
    when his car got a flat
    his career it went splat,
    I hear he now sells shoes in Fort Wayne.

  38. A fellow who ran a campaign…
    Was maybe too polite to complain…
    But the guy he was supporting…
    Had gals who were always reporting…
    Which is why you don’t see Herman Cain

  39. A woman who ran a campaign
    unwisely stayed sloshed on champagne.
    She said “Woe is I!
    The campaign passed me by”
    and never was heard from again.

    Hee hee.

  40. A fellow who ran a campaign
    Called, “MAKE ENGLISH SPELLING MORE SAIGN”
    Had been told by his betters
    “Avoid silent letters!”;
    Good advice – alas, given in vaign. :(

  41. A woman who ran a campaign
    To seduce her neighbor’s man main
    Was alarmed and annoyed
    At being quite toyed
    Won the bum, six kids, and a postcard from Spain

  42. A woman who ran a campaign
    To clean up the streets stinky drain
    Was flushed red in the face
    When city published end of the case
    Hubby’s condoms had clogged up the main

  43. A woman who ran a campaign
    To oust her neighbor’s Great Dane
    Was chagrined and quite red
    When her college son said
    Was not a dog but a frat prank poo lain

  44. kez says:

    A Woman once ran a Campaign
    To go knicker less without any shame
    But it was such a disgrace
    She was found sporting lace
    Citing attracting a man was to blame

  45. A fellow who ran a campaign
    To be President failed to obtain
    Proper documentation
    Of his birthplace location
    (But he still got more votes than McCain).

  46. Pam Kadlec says:

    A woman who ran a campaign
    Secretly believed her boss quite inane
    He primped and he preened
    Like an old beauty queen
    No votes proved t’was all done in vain

  47. Gary Hendersoj says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign,
    Treated women and gays with disdain.
    His name was Santorum,
    And the voters ignored him,
    He went home with his head hung in shame.

  48. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow that ran a campaign
    Would explain that his gal was Plain Jane,
    Was experienced, dressed smart,
    That she had a big heart.
    It’s a shame that the dame had no brain.

  49. Gary Hendersoj says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign,
    Treated women and gays with disdain.
    His name was Santorum,
    And the voters ignored him,
    His career was derailed like a train.

  50. Gary Hendersoj says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign,
    Got most of his funding from Bain.
    But to the 99 percent,
    His reputation clearly meant
    He’d get the mansions and they’d bear the pain.

  51. Matt Monitto says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign
    Tried to hide his wrongdoings in vain.
    In attempt to save face,
    He dropped out of the race;
    Now Republicans aren’t raising Cain.

  52. A fellow who ran a campaign
    Started slow but then started to gain
    On the front-runner, Mitt.
    He was helped (just a bit)
    By endorsements from David Mustaine.

  53. Anna :o] says:

    A daft woman ran a campaign
    To have her body removed from her brain,
    Her surgeon complied,
    She not surprisingly died –
    But she’s not in the position t’complain.

  54. Bruce Niedt says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign
    in New Orleans, was heard to explain,
    “All this vice is bad news!
    Out with jazz and the booze!”
    …They threw him in Lake Ponchartrain.

  55. Robert Schechter says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign
    Could scarcely conceal his disdain
    For folks unlike him
    Whose prospects were dim
    Since he’d downsized their asses at Bain.

  56. Johanna Richmond says:

    G-O-P-ers who’ve waged a campaign
    Against women: You’d better abstain
    From believing your dicks
    Make us poweless chicks
    Or bleed votes from the jugular vein.

  57. Robert Schechter says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign
    Told us, “Women should simply abstain,
    No ifs ands or buts,
    Since no one likes sluts!”
    But Newt said, “You must be insane!”

  58. Michael Grove says:

    Campaign

    A fellow who ran a campaign,
    bought cases of high class champagne
    expecting to win
    took it on the chin,
    now drowns sorrow without much restrain.

    This fellow with high aspiration
    faced up to public condemnation.
    so he switched his platform
    swinging left of the norm.
    It became quite an abomination.

    By Michael Grove

  59. Gary Henderson says:

    A fellow who ran a campaign,
    Found his efforts had all been in vain.
    Though he spent tons of money,
    He was not smart, just funny,
    And his cash disappeared down the drain.

  60. madkane says:

    Thanks everyone for your fun limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week winner and the Honorable Mention winners! You can find the winners list here.

    But a new Limerick-Off challenge has already begun: Limerick Degree.

  61. Chuck Warn says:

    A man who ran a campaign
    Freaked out and went quite insane.
    His demands were erratic,
    Staff gave him great static;
    Turns out his meds were to blame.