Off One’s Game Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was way off his game…*
or
A woman was way off her game…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Off One’s Game (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was way off his game
And was looking for someone to blame.
He concluded that God
Had given the nod
To his nemesis — talk about lame!
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Game Humor, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Religion Humor, Writing Prompts
A gal who was way off her game
Hoped no one’d remember her name
As she strode the catwalk
She could hear critics talk
“Another model in heels’s come up lame!”
Lol at yours; subtle dig at Tebow?
A player was way off his game
on Superbowl Sunday–a shame?
Said: “I have to report
that I’m just tired of sport.
I’d rather write poems than maim.”
Can you tell that A) we’re not sports people & 2) we’re already sick of the bowl coverage?
Poor Sarah was way off her game
Going rogue when McCain brought her fame.
Now her star it was Palin’
She’d taken a nailin’
For gaffes and faux pas she’d exclaim.
A guy who was way off his game
Left The Olympics in shame
He said, “I’m too old
“To go for the gold,
“Perhaps I’ll just carry the flame”
A fellow was way off his game;
So taken by fortune and fame
He went on a bender
And fell off the end where
He could not remember his name.
A fellow was way off his game,
Speed eating his once-claim-to-fame.
While wolfing down pie
Some seagulls flew by;
What they dropped and his bite were the same.
A fellow was way off his game
The fans booed and thought he was lame.
He failed to catch the hit,
Mind you he still took it.
Right between the legs giving him turning point of the week fame.
A fellow was way off his game
When all his songs sounded the same
He had no choice
Cause he lost his voice
And there went all his musical fame.
A fellow was way off his game —
A hindrance he soon overcame.
Though his entrails would quake
Eating ‘gator or snake,
He found chicken tastes almost the same.
A Lim’ricker way off his game
Tried to sneak into Mad’s Hall of Fame;
But our Mad, standing sentry,
Took one glance at his entry,
Then said, “Thanks, but no thanks all the same!” :(
A fellow was way off his game,
when the ‘Notice of Child Support’ came.
They had fun there’s no doubt,
on that couch that pulled out.
He wishes that he’d done the same.
A fellow was way off his game
using pick-up lines totally lame
The gals rolled their eyes
at his tiresome tries
Newt Gingrich was this fellow’s name.
lol, well done. And so often true as well!
A woman was way off her game
(And she was a hot lookin’ dame)
She was just out of sorts
when she pulled off his shorts
and just couldn’t light up his flame.
A fellow was way off his game
His wife said it was a shame
But if you want this Mista
You can’t have Callista
I’ll take the kids and the house just the same
This gal was off her game
She tried but no words came
An impossible rhyme
Words than entwine
Oh what a shame
sorry I tried and tried, the tiny mind was not co-operating
A fellow was way off his game
and was looking for someone to blame.
He yelled at his caddy,
who said, “Knock it off, daddy.
I’m not the one causing your shame.”
A fellow was well off his game,
Having no luck with all types of dame.
Devoid of all glamour
He’d stutter and stammer
And he never lit anyone’s flame!
A fellow was way off his game
he had missed by far, what a shame
he thought for a while
then did it Palin-style
and used a helicopter for hunting fame
(I am sure you didn’t mean THAT game)
A fellow was way off his game
And ruefully heard to exclaim,
‘My meat needs to be
Less “off”, don’t you see?
Can I pass the buck without blame?’
Oh, rats! I see Thomas had the same take.
A woman was way off her game –
Her tricks were becoming too tame –
Then got game to love
With approach from above –
Her service had been all to blame!
A woman was way off her game
with only herself that she could blame
got so drunk the night before
ran head long into a door
now she can’t remember her name!
A woman was way off her game.
Defunding PP was her aim.
‘Cuz she don’t really care,
about women’s welfare,
and Karen Handel is her name.
Cleopatra was off on her game
So Caesar quite promptly laid claim
Her delight had been botched
‘Til he played with her crotch
Yes, he saw, he conquered, he came.
An alien was way off its game
and was frequently heard to proclaim
its love for Newt Gingrich
and his transcendent sales pitch
for a new lunar colony domain.
Putting football to poetry is a skill. :)
Coming here via Real Toads, with my first submission to your Limerick-Off:
*
A fellow was way off his game
And nothing was ever the same
He could not find the ball
It was nowhere at all
So that was the end of his fame.
*
His number would not be retired
As a coach he’d never be hired
No, you can’t lead a game
Without talents the same
As those you have always admired.
*
Oh yes, he was way off his game
To fame he could not lay a claim
He’d not be in the hall
With the winners and all
Enshrined by the shirt with his name.
*
Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel
A fellow was way off his game
Of finding wild beasts he could tame,
But gained recognition
(Though NOT by volition)
When eaten by lions. That’s fame!
A fellow was way off his game
His youth long gone, not the same
But he met a smart lady
With a past a bit shady
So come June she’ll be sharing his name.
Wingnutty Gal
A gal who was way off her game
Screamed, “Big Government is always to blame!”
She never would mention
Her own sweet state pension
Or that Medicare’s paid her health claim.
A fellow was way off his game
With only the bottle to blame
“You know, I’ve been thinking
I ought to stop drinking
But to waste this last fifth is a shame”
A fellow was way off his game,
He thought he was smooth with his dame,
“If you pet my poodle,
Here’s my ‘kit and kaboodle’,”
She slapped him and then he felt lame
A fellow was way off his game…
Wrecked his life balling an old flame…
Seems hot bloomers were often his weakness…
But his wife was not known for her meekness…
Fittingly, Lorena Bobbit was her name.
Young Novak was way off his game
and decided that wheat was to blame.
He gave up all bread,
eating rice cakes instead,
and soon put old Roger to shame.
(This could work also as follows:)
A fellow was way off his game
and decided that wheat was to blame.
He gave up all bread
earing rice cakes instead,
and soon put R. Federer to shame.
a fellow was way off his game
the other team giving him shame
one brick now ten
he missed it again
this old horse has now come up lame
A fellow was way off his game
In fact he was rather insane
Though appeared normal did he
Wasn’t hard to see
That not all was right with his brain.
A fellow was way off his game,
he forgot from which way he came.
The crowd tried to warn him,
screamed, “You’re on the wrong end!”
Too late, he scored two points; insane.
Tom Brady was way off his game
But his wife found his teammates to blame.
“He can’t catch his own passes;
It’s those clumsy asses
That fumbled the ball,” was her claim.
True story. Gisele Bündchen actually said this after Sunday’s Super Bowl. (I may be paraphrasing just a little.)
A fellow was way off his game
Embarrassed and kneeling in shame
For he knew he had gaffed
When his tiny girl laughed
And his Tiddlywink still wouldn’t aim.
A fellow was way off his game,
As he valiantly chased an old flame,
But after much wine,
He seemed to do fine,
They cuddled and played, then she came!
A woman was way off her game,
As she sang for her fortune and fame.
But Simon found her so trite,
Just a pitiful sight.
And her singing, well that was just lame.
A fellow was way off his game,
While trying to diddle his dame.
But she cried “That’s just painful”,
And not at all gainful.
Then she left in a huff, what a shame.
A fellow was way off his game
In an effort to spark his old flame
(Cause that dumb webcam trick
To elongate his wick
Worked no better the second time – lame!)
A fellow was way off his game
And the bishop and rook were to blame
They kicked him off the board
With his horse and his sword
Because he failed to take the queen when she came
Or similarly because I love Monopoly as well –
A fellow was way off his game
And the dog and the boot were to blame
The horseman acted stroppily
To being kicked from Monopoly
For robbing the bank with the train
A revision.
A fellow was way off his game.
(You can tell if you Google his name.)
Then came a swarum
of wins for Santorum.
Now his competition looks a bit lame.
A fellow was way off his game,
As he tried to ignite a new flame,
And he ruined the mood
When he clumsily cooed:
“Ich lieb dich” instead of “je t’aime.”
Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…
Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 48.
But don’t worry if you’ve missed the fun. A new Limerick-Off has already begun: Campaigning For Limericks.