High Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who was terribly high…*

or

A gal who was terribly high…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

High Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was terribly high
Looked down at his friends with a sigh.
“Getting up here’s a cinch,
But I can’t move an inch.
Climbing downward seems pie in the sky.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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70 Responses to “High Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Sally Franz says:

    A gal who was terribly high
    Ordered brownies instead of the pie
    I would never do weed
    she was quick to concede
    But for brownies like these I would die.

  2. viv blake says:

    A man who was terribly high
    was confused and thought he could fly.
    He took off with a flourish
    but plummeted sharpish
    to land squish on the ground and die.

  3. A gal who was terribly high
    Was so frightened she started to cry,
    “If I only had proof
    How I got on this roof;
    All I ate were some brownies, no lie!”

  4. Hansi says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Took one more hit, just to get by.
    When it hit his brain
    He thought he went insane
    And said, “This is good shit, and that’s no lie”.

  5. A man who was terribly high
    Drank a half-dozen martinis, dry
    “I do love thish gin,”
    “So hit me again”
    “And then I’ll switch over to rye…”

  6. Johanna Richmond says:

    A gal who is terribly high
    Knows her face looks suspiciously sly;
    Though she tries to sound grave,
    More like straight folks behave,
    She’s betrayed by the wink in her eye.

  7. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Was plummeting down from the sky.
    “My chute did not function
    So with zero compunction,”
    He said, “I predict that I’ll die.”

  8. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Went looking for cookies and pie.
    “The munchies,” they call it,
    But the man lost his wallet
    So he sat down and started to cry.

  9. brian says:

    a guy who was terribly high
    ate ever’thing he walked by
    hot nachos & cheese
    cookies & reeses
    so full he could hardly sigh

  10. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Went into the grocers to buy
    Eleven-grain bread
    But he purchased instead
    An assortment of ice-cream and pie.

  11. Pat Hatt says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Started to break down and cry
    He screamed “how mean”
    Cursing the laundry machine
    Because it had run out of pie

  12. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Who was usually terribly shy
    Turned into a very
    Gregarious, merry
    And all-around partying guy.

  13. J Sardo says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Thought sure he was able to fly
    He leaped from a chair
    Bounded into the air
    And landed with a fearsome cry.

    A gal who was terribly high
    Was excited for marriage was nigh
    She prepared for the night
    With prescient foresight
    And to the groom’s delight she’d finally comply.

  14. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Was hang-gliding and learning to fly.
    Said an eagle ‘I’m waiting
    To instigate mating
    But it’s really too tricky mid-sky.’

  15. Veralynne says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Sang ” ‘scuse me while I kiss this guy”
    Setting us all a-tizzy
    While we played our Thin Lizzy
    Wond’ring did he say “while I kiss the sky”?

  16. Kathy El-Assal says:

    A guy who was terribly high
    From putting his thumb in a pie
    Had pulled out a plum
    Soaked in 50 proof rum
    And said, “How besotted am I?”

  17. A man who was terribly high
    Looked down from his sleigh in the sky
    He wasn’t aloof
    He just needed a roof
    Announcing the new Santa Spy!

    Guys and Gals — if you’d indulge me for a bit of self promotion, Surre.al just released the completely free Santa Spy, which is a very cool app that will materialize Santa out of thin air using Augmented Reality technology — it’s available both in the Apple App Store and Android Market — hope you enjoy it. Thanks!

    Note from Mad Kane: Sounds like some free fun, which I’m betting hubby Mark’s gonna try out on his iPod or iPad. :) Here are the direct links:

    Santa Spy iTunes link

    Santa Spy Android Market link

  18. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Was heard between bong-hits to cry,
    “The true unsung hero
    Of a circle’s not zero
    But the infinite digits of Pi.”

  19. Mark Kane says:

    A man who was terribly high,
    Acted funny, but didn’t know why.
    Jimmy Hendrix his name,
    And music his game.
    Kindly ‘scuse him for kissing the sky.

  20. Kathy El-Assal says:

    A gal who was terribly high
    From applause for her humor most wry
    Said “You betcha” and winked
    She had Sarah P. synched
    Her routines make you laugh till you cry.

  21. kaykuala says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Often got very randy on the sly
    Stalked his conquests
    But at his own behest
    He got more than just a black eye

  22. NCSue says:

    A gal who was terribly high
    Said, “I hate to be in the sky.
    “I’ve not had a bite –
    “Not even a mite!
    “There’s nothing to eat when I fly!”

    Found at Limerick-Off

  23. Daisy Mae says:

    Neil Armstrong was terribly high
    As he headed way up in the sky
    On the moon, he discovered
    A secret uncovered
    ‘Twas there Alice Kramden did lie

  24. jesse levy says:

    A gal who was terribly high
    thought she’d give painting a try
    with her bare body parts.
    She broke into the arts
    But she couldn’t find someone to buy.

    So she then tried sculpting instead
    But she started to lose her head
    she spent all the day
    with a big mound of clay,
    forgot to eat, now she’d dead.

  25. Errol Nimbly says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Had been living with pigs in a sty.
    When I asked if he knew
    That he smelled like a zoo,
    He addressed me, “oink-oink” in reply.

  26. Sang a gal, “♪ I feel terribly high ♪
    “♪ Like a flag on the 4th of July! ♪ ”
    Then, with no thought for copyright,
    (Coz she felt waaay too soppy, right?)
    “♫ I’m ♥ in love ♥ with a wonderful guy!♫ “

  27. PS: Errol, can’t see your entry on Facebook, so this is just to congratulate you for a real gem of a Limerick; not least for your clever interpretation of ‘high’. ;)

  28. Daisy Mae says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Fell down the wrong chimney -Oh my!
    Santa wouldn’t ‘present’
    To the mean ‘one percent’
    So he flipped them the bird, waving “Bye!”

  29. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Attempted to tie his own tie.
    The thing got so tangled
    The poor man was strangled.
    The moral: Wear clip-ons, or die.

  30. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Was heard in the bathroom to sigh,
    “I would never have sat
    If I’d understood that
    All the paper is rough and one-ply.”

  31. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Demanded to know, “Is it fie?
    Is it fee? Is it fum?
    Is it foe? And how come
    The giant could live in the sky?”

  32. Errol Nimbly says:

    Thanks David McCormick. Glad you liked it.

  33. Errol Nimbly says:

    Oh, and I posted it on facebook under my real identity.

  34. A man who was terribly high
    Saw diamonds up in the sky
    He used to take acid
    But now, it’s Prevacid
    That’s his drug of choice. Makes you cry.

  35. A man who was terribly high
    Was happily learning to fly
    His wings melted away
    Just before he could say
    Daedalus, why am I the fall guy?

  36. Ira Bloom says:

    A man who was terribly high
    On the food chain, at last had to die.
    He was known, in his day,
    To be quite the gourmet,
    But the worms found him tasteless and dry.

  37. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Bent down and was poked in the eye
    By a pointy sharp bong.
    Though I knew it was wrong,
    I laughed till I started to cry.

  38. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was terribly high
    On believing a god in the sky
    Would bless us and save us
    The day he forgave us
    Said, “That’s why I don’t fear to die.”

  39. John Larkin says:

    A man who was terribly high
    was certain that he could fly.
    The ending’s so sad.
    He crashed. That’s too bad.
    Now, excuse me; it’s making me cry.

  40. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was frequently high
    Had strange taste in music. Here’s why:
    He liked Peter and Paul,
    But not Mary at all,
    And the Family Stone, but not Sly.

  41. A bear who was terribly high
    Regretted his decision to fly.
    “While it is rather sunny,
    There’s an absence of hunny,
    And the bees are in oversupply.”

  42. Susan Geariety says:

    A gal who was terribly high
    Felt compelled to continue to try
    Nonsensical things
    Like fly paper with wings
    To grab all of the pie in the sky
    [lifetime limerick count:3]

  43. Susan Geariety says:

    A man who was terribly high
    On his own sense of self, “what a guy
    I am,” was his thought
    To himself. He was not
    All he thought that he was, twas a lie
    [lifetime limerick count:4]

    Seems like there should be more to this story…

  44. Granny Smith says:

    A gal who was terribly high
    On a swing let out a loud cry,
    “Chicken Little was right!
    It’s a real scary sight –
    First the rise then the fall of the sky!”

  45. Robert Schechter says:

    A gal who was terribly high
    On the totem pole met a nice guy
    Who was down at the bottom.
    “I’ll marry, but not him,”
    She quipped with a glint in her eye.

  46. Jim Delaney says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Asked a bird to instruct him to fly.
    Could each circle and bump
    Diametrically trump
    The circumference? Pi in the sky.

  47. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who drove terribly high
    Got confused just which foot to apply
    To make his car brake;
    It was just a mistake,
    But it caused Miss Kopechne to die.

  48. tashtoo says:

    A man who was terribly high
    dropped more acid and thought he could fly
    through the pinks and the greens
    he caused quite a scene
    screaming he thought he had died

  49. hedgewitch says:

    These have got me rolling.

    A man who was terribly high
    was driving while watching the sky
    the clouds hypnotized him
    while traffic resized him
    to a crushed metal cube on the fly.

  50. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who is terribly high
    Grows paranoid, thinks he might die,
    And tells God, “I’ll quit!
    Let me live, and that’s it!”
    God saves him but knows it’s a lie.

  51. A man who was terribly high
    Saw two Breitling jets going by
    He continued to climb
    Since he hadn’t the time
    The Jetman is one lucky fly

    A gal who was terribly high
    Was chasing a drake from Shanghai
    The odds weren’t good
    But she trained in the hood
    She caught him on her seventh try

  52. A man who was terribly high
    Enjoyed his beloved July
    But the Ides March
    Brought an end to his arch
    And Brutus did not even cry

  53. Mark Megson says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Was a double 0 agent, a spy
    When the union jack
    Unfurled from his back
    You could hear his skiiing enemies cry

    A man who was terribly high
    Saw Puff and Lucy in the sky
    Not stoned upon pot
    But stood in his spot
    On a 60’s themed hot air balloon ride

  54. Madeleine says:

    Madeleine, I have images of that chap from Big Fish in my head now LOL!

  55. Madeleine says:

    A gal who was terribly high
    Gazed blearily out through one eye.
    She blinked once or twice
    And then in a trice
    Injected some dope in her thigh

  56. zongrik says:

    An astronaut was terribly high
    She was floating around in the sky
    She saw a strange light appear
    In the shape of a spear
    It’s an object they can’t identify!

  57. Granny Smith says:

    Corrected version

    A gal who was terribly high
    On a swing-set let out a loud cry,
    “Chicken Little was right!
    It’s a real scary sight –
    First the rise then the fall of the sky!”

  58. Errol Nimbly says:

    A man who aimed terribly high,
    Who looked up seeking grace from the sky,
    Soon employed his bandana
    For a glob of God’s manna
    Had hit him smack dab in the eye.

  59. oudiva says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Said, “I want to look God in the eye.
    Alas, gravitation
    Precludes levitation;
    I’m soaring, but I’ll never fly.”

  60. A gal who was terribly high
    While chasing a drake from Shanghai
    She loved Kalops stew
    And her dragon tattoo
    And Blomkvist, though she will deny

  61. Veralynne says:

    A man always terribly high
    Just watched as life passed him by
    Watching was fun, yes it’s true,
    But it’s got nothing to do
    With being a successful guy.

  62. A man who was terribly high
    Was letting the ladies go by
    Decidedly Spanish
    He still tended to vanish
    Since sadly, he wasn’t too fly

  63. Dr. Goose says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Dialed the phone as he started to cry;
    “I never was called
    Though I waited,” he bawled
    To his 2nd grade teacher, Miss Nye.

  64. Dr. Goose says:

    A man who was terribly high
    On the board of the Yacht Club of Rye
    Would blackball those would-be
    New members who could be
    More gauche than their wealth would imply.

  65. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A man who was terribly high
    Felt a penis while stroking her thigh.
    “Even fried as a fritter,
    I’m not a switch-hitter!
    I think I’ll keep passing on bi.”

  66. Mark Kane says:

    A gal who was terribly high,
    While dressing, soon asked herself why?
    So she wandered out nude,
    In search of some food,
    And found she was not at all shy.

  67. Matt Monitto says:

    A man who was terribly high
    When Christmas tree shopping said, “I
    Will be buying a fir,
    Not a fake, as it were,
    ‘Cause to smoke artificial? Don’t try.”

  68. Johanna Richmond says:

    A  man who was terribly high
    Thought the end drew unbearably nigh;
    The delusional quitter
    Peeked out (all atwitter)
    His window. “It’s curtains!” he’d cry.

  69. A man who was terribly high
    Had a problem with tying a tie.
    Every morn he would yelp,
    “Wife of mine, I need help!
    Grab a ladder, and reach for the sky!”

  70. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your delightful limericks! This contest is officially over and you can find out who won here: Limerick of the Week 40.

    But never fear — a new Limerick-Off is already afoot: Planning To Back Limericks.

    I hope to see you all there. Thanks again!