Prone Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A guy who was frequently prone…

or

A gal who was frequently prone…

Here’s mine:

Prone Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A guy who was frequently prone
To gamble with cash from a loan,
Dealt with lenders who whack
When you don’t pay them back.
Now he’s prone in cement, grave unknown.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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80 Responses to “Prone Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Ruby says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To lay hands where the sun never shone
    Tried for GOP nod
    But the victims, by God
    Were too plenty for him to atone!

  2. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To talking too long on the phone
    Found her ear had adhered
    And it really looked weird,
    People said ‘We just don’t like her tone.’
    *

  3. kaykuala says:

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To memory gaps when alone
    Had diamonds to view
    Dashed off with a few
    Now cell describes more than a phone.

  4. Pat Hatt says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To buying an empty ice cream cone
    Once got a scoop
    Let his johnson droop
    Finding American Pie isn’t the only thing you can bone

  5. Jim Delaney says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To indulge his caprices alone
    Now has lots of new friends
    On a website he tends,
    Which is pricey, but lacking in tone.

  6. Hansi says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    Had a wife who wouldn’t leave him alone
    Wanting him all the time
    Even if it meant supine
    He never got any rest for his poor old bone

    **Maybe it’s just me and Pat, but I think you may have opened the floodgates for dirty limericks (is there really any other kind?).

  7. jesse levy says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    to big mistakes – causes unknown –
    took the wrong wife
    and messed up his life
    Now he’s happier living alone.

  8. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A gal who was frequently prone,
    Would frequently moan and then groan:
    “The guys in this town
    Are getting me down
    By constantly paying to bone.”

  9. A guy who was frequently prone
    To rhyming which made others groan
    Attempted a rhyme
    Promptly charged with a crime
    The judge said he’s bad to the bone

  10. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To hysterical fits on the phone,
    Calls her mom in a swoon,
    “Is B-Bert a balloon?
    He c-constantly asks to be blown!”

  11. J Sardo says:

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To coming home very late all alone
    Her dad had a fit
    And mom pulled a snit
    They said when you’re late use the phone

  12. A guy who was frequently prone
    To lecture his flock to atone
    Found that living in glass
    Can be dangerous, as
    It breaks when you cast the first stone

  13. Edmund Conti says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To do all those things when alone
    That the Bible proclaims
    We should all do with dames
    Says “I’m not a kid now.” (Full groan.)

  14. Edmund Conti says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To lying face down when alone
    Said, “It may not show class
    When exposing my ass,
    But it beats out what else could be shown.”

  15. Jim Delaney says:

    In my earlier submission, if possible, I’d like to change “stylish” in L5 to “pricey” if possible.

    (Note from Mad Kane: I’ve made your change.)

  16. Johanna Richmond says:

    Just getting my tacky one out of the way:

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To engaging in sex on the phone
    Found repeat business hard
    Since her number was barred
    By the women whose husbands she’d blown.

  17. Johanna Richmond says:

    Konrad– I see you used the same rhyme scheme — but yours is funnier:)

  18. Matt Monitto says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    Would plank in his house, all alone.
    Then he opened his doors
    To guests from all shores;
    He provides room and board. (Now you’ll groan.)

  19. Matt Monitto says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To avoiding tough questions was thrown
    In the midst of his mess
    Cause she’d kept the damn dress!
    By an intern, his hopes were now blown.

  20. Well, if we’re going there…

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To lie on her back and to moan
    Her choice of careers
    Appalled many peers
    But man was she giving good phone

  21. Veralynne says:

    A gal who is frequently prone
    Takes all of her jobs just by phone
    High-priced call girl she is,
    Call and give her your biz!
    She’ll come ministrate soon on YOUR bone!

    –A radio promo in a less repressive society.

  22. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was frequently prone
    To wear clothes that were clumsily sewn
    Was often abashed
    When his privates were flashed,
    But through no conscious fault of his own.

    A man who was frequently prone
    To sitting all day on the throne,
    Said, “It’s great to be king,
    But there’s only one thing:
    It’s a toilet, and I’m in Bayonne.”

  23. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was frequently prone
    Decided he’d like his own clone.
    When asked to say why,
    He replied, “One more I
    And I would not mind being alone.”

  24. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was frequently prone
    Said, “The purpose of life can’t be known.
    In the absence of facts,
    I say why not relax
    Down here on the ground like a stone?”

  25. Edmund Conti says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To acts caused by testosterone
    Denied all those acts
    In spite of the facts.
    Now he stays home with glory, alone.

  26. Bodhirose says:

    A guy who was frequently prone,
    Lived his life as if on a high throne.
    He loved to be fed big, fat grapes,
    One at a time–(the egoistic, big ape)
    While he jabbered all day on the phone!

  27. Johanna Richmond says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To air slogans like gaudy cologne
    Has just passed the baton
    To his fellow don juan
    Who’s as rank as a rotting old bone.

  28. A guy who was frequently prone
    Developed an itchy shinbone.
    He reached down and scratched,
    But his head got detached
    When rising up under his tombstone.

  29. Edmund Conti says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To watch TCM all alone
    Skipped films like Jurassic
    Park to watch all the classic
    Old movies that starred Franchot Tone.

  30. Edmund Conti says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To play till the thing was full grown
    Said, “I cannot abide
    To watch it subside.
    All play and no work makes me moan.”

  31. Edmund Conti says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To partake of too much provolone
    Figured out that the breeze
    From all of that cheese
    Was likely what kept him alone.

  32. Edmund Conti says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To ponder the known and unknown
    Knew he knew what he knew
    What was false, what was true,
    But not what was chiseled in stone.

  33. Sally Franz says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    to scream and sob and moan
    every night he did drench
    in aftershave stench
    too bad, the old boy was alone.

  34. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To throw the proverbial first stone
    Got caught in a lie
    Which he tried to deny
    And for which he will have to atone.

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To bootleg and bribe and condone
    Behavior most cruel
    To guard gangland rule
    Had his tombstone engraved: Al Capone.

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To wet dreams as he dozed in the zone
    In daylight discovered
    His pj’s were covered
    With seeds he’d unconsciously sown.

  35. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To a French existentialist tone
    Hung out with Camus
    And Jean-Paul Sartre, too.
    To her friends, she was known as Simone.

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To pretend with an orgasmic groan
    Found when Harry met Sally
    She caused fans to rally
    And mimic her Meg Ryan moan.

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To sing songs (her name: Patti Lupone)
    In her role as Evita,
    Argentine senorita,
    Won the heart of “patrie” and Peron.

  36. Madeleine says:

    OMGosh, poor chap. We were in town on Saturday and saw 2 loan shark businesses on the high street! Bravo again Madeleine!
    I will have a think about this first line…

  37. Madeleine says:

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To chatting for hours on the phone
    Heard her hubby complain
    (Though his words were in vain)
    That she’d likely end up all alone.

  38. Madeleine says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    Lay face down in the mud all alone
    He’d gone clubbing that night
    Now he looked quite a sight
    And the smell clearly wasn’t cologne

  39. Altonian says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To make sexy remarks on the phone
    Was shocked to his gristle
    At the blast of a whistle
    And his burst ear-drum caused him to moan

  40. A guy who was frequently prone
    To ride until finally thrown
    This rodeo clown
    Got up when knocked down
    But sadly broke his collar bone

  41. A gal who was frequently prone
    To put off, delay and postpone
    She found her true calling
    The Department of Stalling
    At a bank, refinancing your loan

  42. Rachel says:

    Rubber-Band Regret

    A guy who was frequently prone
    to gain cash that others had blown
    spent a small fortune on
    rubber-bands, with a yawn.
    “I’d invested if only I’d known.”

    (click the link on my site to learn who spent all this money on rubber bands…)

  43. Rachel says:

    I made a second (only slightly different) version to try rhyming in Spanish…

    A guy who was frequently prone
    to gain cash that others had blown
    spent a small fortune on
    rubber-bands, with a yawn.
    “Esto me hace un papelon?”

    (there should be an accent over the o in papelon, but I can’t get the usual command to work on blogger…)

  44. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was frequently prone
    To puns that would make people groan
    Was oddly perplexed
    To be so undersexed
    And to spend all his evenings alone.

  45. Brian Beecher says:

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To spending her nights all alone
    Would fuss with her hair
    Thinking someone would care
    Until by the wind it was blown

  46. Edmund Conti says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To play what he called his “trombone”
    His sliding and playing
    Was rather dismaying
    As was his pet name: sexophone.

  47. A gal who was frequently prone
    Whenever a mirror was shown
    To ask, am I fairest
    Till finally, embarassed
    The mirror said: no, you old crone

  48. John Larkin says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    was happy his seed had been sown.
    His girl had said no
    but she gave him the go
    when he found her erogenous zone.

  49. brian says:

    ha, i scare you…smiles.

    a gal who was frequently prone
    to choke over dinner on bones
    kept clear of chicken
    still finger lickin
    she cooked them in nuggets at home

  50. A guy who was frequently prone
    To practice a midnight trombone,
    One morn woke to find
    His slide realigned
    By person or persons unknown.

  51. A guy wo was frequently prone
    To breaking his large funny bone
    Could not stand a joke
    No, our humorless bloke
    Lived life in a laugther free zone

  52. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To be anxious was home all alone
    And began hearing things.
    Is it critters with wings?
    Nah, it’s only some killer homegrown.

  53. Johanna Richmond says:

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To a louder than usual moan
    Thanked her man for the tip,
    An old sure-fire lip-zip.
    He said humbly, “My part’s overblown.”

  54. A guy who was frequently prone
    To eat chicken wings down to the bone
    Surprisingly swallowed
    A bone less than hollow
    And squawked like a cockatoo flown.

  55. Edmund Conti says:

    Said a guy who was frequently prone
    To mix up the Rhine and the Rhone,
    When I see a French river
    I get all a-quiver–
    A vowel movement all of my own.

  56. Edmund Conti says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To speak in a dull monotone
    Said, I…am…so…glad
    To…see…you…but…sad
    That…you…have…to…leave…now…for…Boulogne.

  57. Johanna Richmond says:

    A man who was frequently prone
    To inhabit his own twilight zone,
    With upper lip curling
    Snarled, “Don’t call me Serling!
    I’m his extraterrestrial clone.”

  58. A gal who was frequently prone
    To sail from the port of Bayonne
    Her trips to Bermuda
    Were all shoulda, coulda
    Alas, she kept sailing alone

  59. tashtoo says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    to name calling and throwing stones
    Had one tossed back
    Thought he was under attack
    and realized his freedom had flown

  60. Robert Schechter says:

    A man who was frequently prone,
    Or supine (the facts are not known),
    Arose or sat down
    With a jubilant frown,
    Then strummed on his alto trombone.

  61. Dr. Goose says:

    A gal who was frequently prone
    From indulging in much Côtes du Rhône
    Raised a glass (in a dream)
    At a bistro in Nîmes,
    While asleep on the floor in Bayonne.

  62. Dr. Goose says:

    Madeleine, I love your limerick this week – it’s grim and funny all at once. By the way, you inspired today’s economic limerick:

    A risk manager, naturally prone
    To deny an improvident loan,
    Heard the boss say: “We’re wishin’
    To cut this position;
    Not that of the loan, but your own.”

  63. A guy who was frequently prone
    To work his trombone to the bone
    They call him the stallion
    But he’s hardly Italian
    Though he worships the works of Stallone

  64. Manicddaily says:

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To cruises that paddled the Rhone

    Till bugs found her bateau–
    
bit her tete to her toe–
    and turned her fair skin a deep jaune.

    A guy who was frequently prone
    whenever he talked on the phone,
    found reception quite poor
    from his spot on the floor,
    so made it a Skype-only zone.

  65. Mark Megson says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To violating the neutral zone
    Got captured by Kirk
    And went quite bezerk
    But was sedated by the Dr called Bones

  66. A gal who was frequently prone
    To listen to voices alone
    The Maid of Orlean
    Could have used Thorazine
    Or a covenant arc, poor old Joan

  67. Granny Smith says:

    A gal who was frequently prone
    To show off to rich men alone
    Said, “My furs are all sable
    And I set a fine table.
    What else would you like to be shown?”

  68. Bruce Niedt says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    to text on his cellular phone
    in his car, pressed his luck,
    till he met with a truck –
    now his only text’s carved in his stone.

  69. Bruce Niedt says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    to farting said, “I’m too well-known
    for my passing of gas,
    so I’ll cover my ass
    by wearing a lot of cologne!”

  70. Granny Smith says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To toot on his flute a wrong tune
    Heard his wife say. “It’s not
    As if I wed a Scot
    Whose pipers intention’lly drone!”

  71. Shashi says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    Liked to live practically on throne
    Gets his head cut off some time soon
    Prone on the ground
    now headless and alone

    Shashi
    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Whispers Buddha Song
    At Twitter @VerseEveryDay

  72. A guy who was frequently prone
    To say “you shall rip what I’ve sewn”
    His apparel designers
    Made clothes just for minors
    He knew they’d be quickly outgrown

  73. Madeleine says:

    I was inspired by Surreal

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To pronounce “You shall reap what I’ve sown”
    Married several times over
    Though naught were in clover
    Now he’s plenty of time to bemoan

  74. A guy who was frequently prone
    To setting his laws into stone
    He loved burning bushes
    And carving cartouches
    He taught us to read them in tone

  75. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A guy who was frequently prone
    To experience sex on his own
    Sighed, “I can’t find this spot
    That, I’ve heard, gets ’em hot,
    Though I’ve found an erroneous zone.”

  76. Mark Kane says:

    A gal who was frequently prone,
    Conducted her business by phone.
    This saucy sweet honey,
    Made plenty of money.
    Her pricing you see was “Per Moan”.

  77. Mary says:

    A gal who was frequently prone
    to spend her life texting on phone
    didn’t see the train coming,
    the crash it was numbing,
    she now resides beneath her headstone.

    A guy who was frequently prone
    to visiting the pub late all alone
    used to tell his wife lies
    until she sent her spies.
    He was forced for his sins to atone.

  78. A girl, who was frequently prone,
    Was amazed how her business had grown.
    “I’m flat out at work”
    She said with a smirk,
    “I’m helping the wild oats to be sown.”

    A girl, who was frequently prone,
    Was seldom in that position alone.
    “Most, of course,
    Prefer intercourse,
    But others are happy to be blown.”

  79. zongrik says:

    A king who was frequently prone
    Had a very uncomfortable throne
    He was caught lying down
    Then he lost his gold crown
    Now his rein short and unknown.

  80. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your wonderful limericks! This has been a hard-fought contest, but it’s finally over. And the winner is…

    You can find out who won Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mention winners here: Limerick of the Week 39.

    But you can still have fun with limericks. A new Limerick-Off has already begun right here: High Limerick. I hope to see you all over there!