Black Eye (Limerick)
Black Eye (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who had a black eye
Was stopped on the street and asked why.
When her mate said, “She fell,”
They thought “husband from hell.”
His story they just wouldn’t buy.
But she really did fall on her face.
(She’d been rushing, as if in a race.)
So she told them, “Please stop.
“I do NOT need a cop.
“It’s my pace that’s at fault. He’s an ace.”
Author’s Note: I case anyone’s wondering, this really happened to me a couple of week’s ago. Mark and I were in Manhattan, on the way to see The Judy Show: My Life as a Sitcom with Judy Gold. We were running late, and I was walking so fast, you could call it running.
I tripped, fell down really hard, and two week’s later my face is still recovering. But at least I no scare longer people … or make them think I’m an abused spouse.
And no, we never got to see that show. But we did have a great Indian meal before I ruined our night by taking that stupid spill.
UPDATE: I really must thank the owners and management of Angelo And Maxie’s, a well-respected seafood and steak restaurant that’s a couple of doors away from where I fell. They could not have been nicer and more helpful, quickly giving me tons of ice, towels, bandages and a first aid kit. They even let me take over their ladies room for at least twenty minutes. I’m looking forward to actually dining there in the near future.
Tags: Accident Poem, Black Eyes, Cop Limerick, Cops & Police, Good Samaritans, Husband Wife Limerick, Injury Verse, Judy Gold, New York City Verse, Theater Poem, Walking Humor
Bravo!! Love it :O)
I enjoy that you wrote this incident into a rhyming poem. It’s impressive. And I love Judy Gold, though I’ve never seen her. Too bad you missed her, but it sounds like you had a nice date and an adventure.
haha that is funny now, sure it wasn’t then
Accidents happen. We had hoped it would not be ourselves.
Hank
So sad that we live in a world that many people’s minds automatically jump to that conclusion. Now at least a few people will carry a tickle of doubt against your husband for the rest of his life thinking “Well, it’s more likely to be true than if she never had a black eye.”
Overall, great job. In fact, I submitted your link to Reddit.com. Let me share with you a little prank I made recently. I called my credit card’s customer service line to do some “negotiating.” Having a bit of leverage, I thought it presented a great opportunity to mess with them a little without fear of retribution. I made a video of the call and posted it on my blog along with my comments about what happened and a fuller “director’s cut” transcript. Pay attention to his response to the classic line “Why does Bank of America hate Christmas?” Enjoy. Raging Wisdom.
I am not one who likes or writes Limericks but yours are very good. So glad I stopped by.
Melanie
Mad, I had the same situation. Tripped on a raised sidewalk block and fell on my face. My knuckle caught under my breast and raised an awfully messy bruise; my sunglasses broke and gave me a black eye.
I should have gone to the ER to make sure nothing was broken, especially a rib (hurt like heck), but I assumed the personnel would think I had been beaten by my husband, given the location of the damage. “Wise Father,” I share your sadness.
This was a clever limerick with a message that resonates. Good one, Madeleine! Peace, Amy
Repairers of the Breach
Oh my goodness! I’m glad you’re healing from your fall. Your limerick is right on, no one believes if you just had a clumsy moment.
Thanks for leaving a response on Frumpy’s hearts.
Cheers!
It’s a shame that low expectations about spouses added embarrassment to injury. Glad you’re recovering from both!
Sorry to hear of your accident. I hope you’re recovering strongly. It’s always a pleasure to read your limericks whether motivated by pleasure or pain :-)
I’m happy your face is healing! Hope that hubby’s ego is holding up.
oh i am so sorry about your fall…i am glad you are recovering…
smiles at the limerick…
So sorry to hear of your fall. I got my first black eye about six weeks ago from an apple falling really hard on my eye (on my glasses). It did not hurt much after the first day but turned very dark. The weird thing was how many women gave me seats on the subway. K.
Sounds ghastly, but glad you are doing better now and also that you encountered some nice people who helped you out!
Are you sure it was an accident? That’s what all abused spouses say :)
I’m so pleased to hear you have mended your ways (or face) and are no longer scaring people.
This is off-topic but I noticed you had done a “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” lim on OEDILF and thought you might enjoy the following:
The Count gave the strumpet purveyor
The location and money to pay ’er.
Castle steps she ascends,
Greets his boisterous friends,
And then bluffly, the vampires lay ’er.
Oh and just read the bit at he bottom, sorry I was too rushed for time before.
Poor you falling over and missing your show! :O0
On the bright side it gave you great creative inspiration for these verses :O)
Thanks so much everyone for your interesting (and similar) personal stories and your kind words!
And Konrad, I enjoyed your limerick!