Spent Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow whose last dime was spent…

or

A woman whose last dime was spent…

Here’s mine:

Spent Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow whose last dime was spent
On a gal below age of consent
Did nothing illicit,
Though mom was complicit:
‘Twas a “sweet sixteen” birthday event.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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75 Responses to “Spent Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Veralynne says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    Found the key to her lock box was bent
    Oh! What could she do?
    Solicit a screw?
    In a blur, to the bar off she went.

  2. Veralynne says:

    Mad: yours is sweetly naughty! Tsk, tsk! LOL!
    I wanted to fix mine and realized too late that I couldn’t delete. Oops!
    I’ll be back……………………….

  3. madkane says:

    LOL! Thanks, Veralynne! And no problem re your duplicate post. I deleted your first entry. :)

  4. Lynn says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    buying weaponry just had to vent;
    she was desperate to play
    and took aim with her spray,
    then she grabbed up that X-Box and went.

  5. A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Found himself stranded in Ghent
    He tried out some hustles
    To get back to Brussels
    But Bruges was as far as he went

  6. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent,
    Whipped out his last rubber tent.
    He got ready for fun,
    Expecting quite a ton.
    When he discovered his same attachment present.

  7. Deb Bixler says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    His wife did not know the extent
    She shopped on the card
    Thinking the payment would be hard
    Then found that there was nary a cent

  8. Jim Delaney says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On things that he’d later repent
    Was flipping the next one —
    His choice was a vexed one,
    For misers are never content.

  9. daisy mae simon says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Needed money- and fast- to pay rent.
    When he couldn’t find work
    He sought senators’ perks
    And joined the elite one percent.

    The lobbyists helped his campaign.
    (He loved caviar and champagne.)
    Public servant? No cares
    Vowed like Scarlet O’Hara’s,
    “I’ll never be hungry again!”

    Now he works only 100 days
    for one-seventy thousand in pay
    Add free healthcare and meals,
    And quite plump backroom deals
    as we taxpayers seethe in dismay.

  10. Hansi says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Sat and wondered “How am I gonna pay my rent?
    He needed some rest
    So he decided to protest
    Now he’s occupying Wall street, living in a tent.

  11. Kathleen Cole says:

    Occupy
    A woman whose last dime was spent,
    Thought what her broke state meant.
    Rather than go and eat dirt,
    She rallied others who hurt.
    Now she Occupies City Park in a tent!

  12. brian says:

    a fellow whose last dime was spent
    yellow he, chose fast dames for lent
    cellibate he’d be
    cellibrate be’n free
    a fallow hose for shames be bent

  13. Madeleine says:

    LOL! Madeleine That is naughty but nice. :O)

  14. jesse levy says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    thought he had better relent
    from doing such good
    when he couldn’t buy food
    This fellow’s name was Clark Kent.

    So he took a job with the Planet
    Got a raise from Perry who ran it
    He wrote lots of stories
    and flew off to glories
    And had enough dough to see Janet.

    (Sorry Lois).

  15. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent,
    Not despairing, went on to invent
    A money machine
    Like none before seen.
    Can you guess to which prison he went?

  16. Matt Monitto says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On prescriptions for AIDS found his bent.
    Now he’ll shortly go far
    As the newly-found star
    Of the Broadway revival of “RENT.”

  17. Matt Monitto says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Stole some cash, but was tracked by his scent.
    In a camp, he was caught
    And then bagged on the spot,
    For they charged him with criminal intent.

  18. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Vowed he’d change his ways and repent,
    So told all his floozies
    (And some were real doozies)
    To “charge it”: he was a true gent.

  19. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Perfecting a “Gal Magnet” scent,
    Found little attraction,
    Nor any real action.
    He couldn’t disguise his intent.

  20. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    Chose often and loudly to vent.
    Her “pals” took off running,
    Their speed truly stunning;
    She growled, They’ll not see a red cent

    When my lottery ticket comes in:
    Thirty years now, it’s high time I win!
    No more friends who are greedy
    Or who see me as needy.
    Until then, my best frien’ is straight gin.

  21. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Soon moved from his house to a tent.
    His nightly intentions
    Brought p’lice interventions:
    “FREE {Sex!}” signs placed over his vent

    And cunningly pinned to his pants
    Drew many an int’rested glance.
    But the cops weren’t amused
    How his tent was abused:
    “2-for-1 Sale!” Girls queued for their chance.

  22. kaykuala says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Still mystified where the rest went
    Just some while
    Friends went wild
    Grim lesson of friends not worth a cent

  23. Meredith McMinn says:

    Have been behind on everything for weeks, so didn’t even look at the weekly Limerick off, so I’m making up a little for lost time by dispatching three.

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On frivolous items—like rent—
    To bolster his pride
    And his penury hide,
    claimed he’d given up eating for lent.

    A fellow whose last dime was spent,
    When the landlord came, couldn’t pay rent.
    So he tried to get by
    With a little white lie,
    Saying, “check’s in the mail. It was sent.”

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    On a fragrance machine with a dent,
    Had a gleam in her eye.
    “The machine’s broke, not I,”
    She said, grinning, “I still have one scent!”

  24. Liz says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    On mark-downs of 50 percent
    To her husband she swore
    This spending saved more
    So he had no cause for dissent

  25. gene hartis says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    Decided to find a nice gent
    So she could easily try
    To bleed him quite dry
    And then leave him without a red cent.

  26. Mark Kane says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    On gambling swore soon to repent.
    But the slots turned out kind,
    And her hubby won’t mind,
    That now they can pay for their rent.

  27. A fellow whose last dime was spent,
    From indolence vowed to repent;
    “To the world I will show
    “That my get-up-and-go
    “Has not simply got-up-and-went!”

  28. Mark Kane says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    Preparing a meal for her gent,
    Eased in the night,
    With pasta just right,
    By making spaghetti “Al Dente”.

  29. David says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    composed this unhappy lament:
    I’m totally broke,
    It isn’t a joke,
    I’m left with a cent – and that’s bent!

  30. A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Described his financial descent
    I married my money
    But then my dear honey
    Found me cheating and wouldn’t relent

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On proving he had no intent
    Was guilty as sin
    But savored his win
    Since no one dug up the cement

  31. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    Because of a profligate bent
    Found her Black Friday guile
    And missing link style
    Helped her nab stuff wherever she went.

  32. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On a red cape he charged to Clark Kent
    Was upset to discover
    No place to take cover.
    Those phone booths–where was it they went?

  33. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On a romantic tryst in a tent
    Had arranged for a yurt
    To cuddle and flirt
    But his girl did not like the strange scent.

  34. A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On dangerous betting on Brent
    Abandoned his futures
    And now he’s a butcher
    Pork bellies do not pay the rent

  35. Dr. Goose says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    On the food and the clothes and the rent
    Went Dutch on a date
    At a credit card rate
    Of 30.7%.

  36. Robert Schechter says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Had a plan to recover: He went
    Out (he was drunk)
    In search of a skunk,
    Determined to rob its last scent.

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Made diamonds from coal to augment
    His income. One squeeze
    Is enough, if you please,
    Provided your name is Clark Kent.

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Declared, “I refuse to lament.
    Food is elitist!
    I won’t be defeatist!
    I can live in a box! Who needs rent?”

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    Entertaining an indigent gent,
    Said, “I’m such a dumb bunny.
    I thought he had money!
    But that’s not what ‘indigent’ meant.”

  37. jesse levy says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    on a minty and greenish unguent
    went into a place
    with the stuff on her face
    and only she was content

    The others all ran out of there
    she had given the bunch quite a scare
    the kid who remained
    was yesterday brained
    so all he could do then was stare

  38. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On his girlfriend, Ms. Violet P. Kent,
    Was brought up on charges
    That all of his largess
    Would soon be with Violet in tent.

  39. A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Exploring the streets of Tashkent
    And then Samarkand
    Where he got contraband
    A Khayyam treatise on percent

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On building a still to ferment
    An excellent gin
    He now sells by the bin
    And fancies himself quite a gent

  40. Granny Smith says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    Didn’t know where her dropped pennies went.
    She got down on the floor
    And was searching for more.
    Like a bloodhound she followed each cent

  41. A woman whose last dime was spent
    On measures designed to augment
    Her natural bust
    She feels it’s a must
    If she is to make an indent

  42. Robert Schechter says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Said, “It’s true, but it’s not my intent
    To imply that I’m poor.
    I’ve got bank notes galore,
    Just no dimes, which is all that I meant.”

  43. Out House (limerick)

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Knew he could not pay next month’s rent
    He took a sabbatical;
    turned into a radical –
    Now he’s Occupying a tent

    Amy
    Also, please come to my blog! Living Love For Kate

  44. Kathy El-Assal says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    On holiday gifts she’d repent
    Was ready for Monday
    Her cyber-shop fun day.
    Her excess left PayPal content.

  45. Ira Bloom says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On toner, proceeded to vent:
    “That HP ink-jet
    We were eager to get
    Now’s the printer of our discontent.”

  46. daisy mae simon says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    On designer clothes, accoutrements
    ‘Cause dressing to the hilt
    Hid the way he was built
    As a girl, he had no ‘mal(e)content’

  47. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    From royalty claimed his descent.
    He married an heiress
    Seaside on a terrace,
    Trading title for income augment.

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Hatched a scheme best described as hellbent.
    With greed as his goad, he
    Became devil’s toadie
    And the minter of much discontent

  48. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    At Christmas began to lament:
    Carols played in November
    For a fete in December
    And its oh-so-commercial type bent.

  49. J Sardo says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Took the money he needed for rent
    Made a bet on a stock
    That put him in hock
    So he’s living right now in a tent.

  50. J Sardo says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    On surgery she thought would augment
    A behind so skinny
    She was nicknamed thin Minnie
    But alas when she bent it looked liked cement.

  51. Anu says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    With her finances all awry and tangent
    Though found it crude
    Thought she’d pose in the nude
    Betcha not everyone thought it well meant!

  52. A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On wine, women, song and the rent
    Searched for a honey
    To lend him some money
    But found only empty lament.

  53. John Larkin says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    did not have a clue where it went.
    It wasn’t on drink
    so he said, “Let me think.
    Could it be it was blown on the rent?”

  54. Manicddaily says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Still managed to leverage one cent;
    Parlayed it to millions,
    But lost several billions,
    And to court (Chapter 7) was sent.

  55. An old fellow whose last dime was spent
    On a steep Himalayan ascent
    Since he’s climbed Everest
    Now he can get some rest
    He retired his worn alpine tent

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On airing his vocal dissent
    His political PAC
    Focused on the attack
    He lost but was happy to vent

  56. Robert Schechter says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Tried hard to collect what he’d lent
    To others, but found
    They were nowhere around.
    He was one impecunious gent.

  57. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On rotgut (down to his last cent)
    Said, with his last swallow,
    (can you guess what will follow?)
    “I fear we are both indigent.”

  58. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Gave up any spending for Lent.
    So he sat on his keister
    As he waited for Easter
    Which he hoped would be grandiloquent.

  59. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Lit up on his very last Kent.
    Bad news–had no wealth.
    Good news-keeps his health.
    No smoke when you’re broke, all I meant.

  60. A woman whose last dime was spent
    On horses of noble descent
    She tried to deduct
    Losses at Aqueduct
    But the IRS wouldn’t relent

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On catching the odd malcontent
    This strange vigilante
    Kept upping the ante
    Which Batman had come to resent

  61. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Decided to sell his one stent.
    His search was in vain.
    Do I need to explain
    That pun which you’ll come to resent?

  62. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On a campaign to be president
    Said, “Nine, nine and nine,
    I’m doing quite fine”
    But nobody knew what he meant.

  63. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Begged clearly with simple intent
    He asked, “Help me, bud,
    Though I down in the mud.”
    Lutulent ended up luculent.

  64. Gay says:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    On a signature fashionable tent
    Repaired to the park
    Where she sang in the dark
    Made a star by her “occupy” stint.

  65. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Was asked to come home to his tent.
    When he got to his tepee
    He had to do peepee
    And so, rather than coming he went.

  66. Mark Megson says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    Decided it was time to repent
    A monk he would be
    A choice made quickly
    When he discovered they do not charge rent

  67. A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On paying his paramour’s rent,
    Could not save his life
    When his lunatic wife
    Found out where their last paycheck went.

  68. A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On trying to misrepresent
    That a previous wreck
    Caused his pain in the neck
    Lost his case. Now he’s charged with intent

  69. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On frivolous things like the rent
    Had no other apparel
    So was dressed in a barrel,
    Unwitting, won costume event.

  70. Mary says:

    “Spent” Limericks

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    made his way to the holy tent.
    Never one to be a scoffer,
    he reached into the coffer,
    nonexistant funds to augment.

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    pleaded with the government:
    Please give me some money;
    I deserve it, Honey.
    I don’t know where earned money went.

    (posted and linked here–> Spent Limericks

  71. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On a sly self-promotion event
    Learned the art, from Ms Palin,
    Of wail-, rail- and bailin’
    Cain’s brand name’s now on the ascent.

  72. A fellow whose last dime was spent
    On a night with a woman-to-rent,
    At the orgasmic crest,
    Had a cardiac arrest:
    “He came and, then sadly, he went.”

  73. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your kind words and fun limericks!

    This Limerick-Off is officially over. Congratulations to this week’s Limerick of the Week Winner and to the Honorable Mention Winners! You can find the list of winners and their winning limericks here: Limerick of the Week 38.

    If you didn’t win anything this week, don’t despair! A new Limerick-Off has already begun: Prone Limerick.

  74. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    I know I’m too late for this Limerick-Off, but here’s one for fun:

    A woman whose last dime was spent
    On some loans to her guy for his rent,
    Finally cried: “I can’t win!
    What I’ve squandered’s a sin;
    So I’m giving up lending for lent.”

  75. madkane says:

    Konrad, that was late, but fun. :)