Limerick Phase (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s
last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who went through a phase…

or

A woman who went through a phase…

Here’s mine:

Limerick Phase
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who went through a phase
Of using a ton of clichés
Would talk up a storm
And refused to reform,
As he babbled each over-used phrase.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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75 Responses to “Limerick Phase (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. A woman who went through a phase
    Of following craze after craze
    She spent all her rations
    On the latest fashions
    And now she must ask for a raise

  2. J Sardo says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Smoked pot till his eyes were a glaze
    He would brag about sex
    Even called his dong Tex
    But in bed he performed in a daze.

  3. Rinkly Rimes says:

    EXHIBITIONIST!

    A lady who went through a phase
    Of enjoying the masculine gaze,
    Decided to tease
    And threw off her chemise
    And walked through the town in her stays!

  4. J Sardo says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Drank scotch to the end of her days
    On her tombstone was set
    Not a word of regret
    As tales of her exploits her friends still amaze.

  5. A fellow who went through a phase
    Of tanning and bright UV rays
    He looked Hollywood
    And would if he could
    Perform in both movies and plays

  6. Neal P says:

    Some fellows who went through a phase
    were given to lurid displays
    In just shoes and socks
    They’d parade in their jocks
    On even the frostiest days

  7. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Had a thing for skinny dipping in bays
    In came a seel
    Had junior for a meal
    And now he goes both ways

  8. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Spent days in one long, lust-filled daze;
    Had sex morning, noon, night
    (Should we feel for his plight?)
    He crowed, “Let me count all the ways!”

  9. RJ Clarken says:

    A lady who went through a phase
    of hanging at louche cabarets
    got smoke in her eyes
    from the wrong sort of guys
    who each set her poor heart all ablaze.

  10. RJ Clarken says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    of drinking each night cabernets
    said, “I’m bored now with red
    so I think I might head
    to a new phase and drink chardonnays.

  11. Ira Bloom says:

    A fellow who went through a phase,
    Dated shiksas, to soothe his malaise.
    His outlook, though boyish,
    Became rather goyish,
    Now he eats his corned beef with mayonnaise.

  12. Neal P says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Defended her larcenous ways:
    “In a week, every cent
    Goes for groceries and rent,
    And the month still has 23 days!”

  13. jesse levy says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    would sculpt with “invisible” clays
    He’d make models pose
    without any clothes
    And finally got thirty days.

  14. A fellow went through a phase –
    When he learned of the “male gaze -”
    Mary, Jane, and Mary were amazed
    How they subverted his gaze;
    The fellow hadn’t a rhyme an age of days.

  15. zongrik says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    was beguiled by raunchy ballets.
    He sneaked into the playhouse,
    reached into a dancer’s blouse,
    now in jail he must spend seven days.

  16. A fellow who went through a phase
    Of harvesting fuel made from maize
    He made ethanol
    A headache for all
    It ended with speech of malaise

  17. Matt Monitto says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Would go hunting for sales. ‘Twas a craze:
    There was fire in her eyes
    When the prices would rise,
    And she’d occupy Macy’s for days.

  18. Hansi says:

    A fellow went through a phase
    Of only smoking Purple Haze
    His mind was red hot
    With some really fine pot
    But his eyes were blood-shot and glazed.

  19. A fellow who went through a phase
    Of studying particle rays
    Saw an atom behave
    As an actual wave
    This find gathered many a praise

  20. Veralynne says:

    Hey, Mad, I resemble that remark . . . er, your limerick’s subject, that is!

    BTW, these early-bird entries are all winners already!

  21. Veralynne says:

    A woman who went through a phase,
    Eating pickles and ice cream for days,
    Knew it not to be part of her scheme–
    ‘Twas nausea awoke her from her dream.
    Oops! An end to her wicked old ways.

  22. Johanna Richmond says:

    To the Not-Canned Cop, Anthony Bologna

    A fellow who went through a phase
    With his cop toys and mean, macho ways
    Hunted young women –- prey
    To surprise pepper spray;
    Next mission: find old folks to tase.

  23. A woman who went through a phase
    Of worrying how much she weighs
    Now, after martinis
    She wears her bikinis
    And happily lays in the chaise

  24. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of dwelling in labyrinth maze
    Gained mythical fame
    For his Minotaur name
    But was vanquished for bull-headed ways.

  25. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of helping New Orleans for days,
    Saw that levees all broke
    And when he awoke
    Knew that they had been dammed with faint praise.

  26. Granny Smith says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Just of dining on fat mayonnaise
    Was surprised when told that
    She was fearfully fat.
    Now it’s lettuce alone where she’ll graze.

  27. Pari says:

    A fellow who went through a phase,
    of licking out dirty ashtrays-
    said his gal “That’s disgusting!”
    and “Your mouth needs a flushing!”
    Now he’s taken to licking bidets.

  28. Pari says:

    A fellow who went through a phase,
    Of setting old buildings ablaze
    Alas, he was caught–
    yet, RED-HANDED, (’twas HOT!)
    Unlike the cooler, now, where he stays.

  29. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of waxing and waning displays
    Was known on La Lune
    As the Man-in-the-Moon
    Who witnessed Neil Armstrong’s forays.

  30. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Of hogging the spotlight and praise
    Took a walk down the aisle
    Dressed in haute couture style
    For a marriage that lasted mere days.

  31. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Taking ballet to practice plies
    Discovered that when
    Her friend had a yen
    Her legs she could easily raise.

  32. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of beginning his days with a blaze,
    Got intensely strong munchies;
    At breakfast and lunch he’s
    Consuming as much as he weighs.

  33. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of biyearly receiving a raise,
    Grew complacent and fat:
    “I’m entitled to that!”
    Now he’s seeking employment that pays.

  34. Mark Megson says:

    A man who went through a phase
    Of weird diets set his office ablaze
    The fellow quite dense
    Lit his own flatulence
    After eating nothing but beans for five days.

  35. brian says:

    a fellow who went through a phase
    of needing incessant praise
    went out of his way
    to get more today
    but only a welt on his head did he raise

  36. A fellow who went through a phase
    Of wanting to cook, learned to braise
    Had to give him the cue
    We just want barbeque
    And now all our meals are ablaze

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of meaningless sexual lays
    He has STD
    And I must tell thee
    Regrets his promiscuous ways

  37. Matt Monitto says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of bestowing exuberant praise
    Had a spat with his wife;
    He had cried, “Love for life!”
    To her mom, though, he’d said the same phrase.

  38. Shammi says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of carrying hankies made of lace
    Didn’t care a jot
    What anybody thought –
    His hi-fashion cred was firmly in place.

    ————-

    A woman who went through a phase
    Of attending each and every horse race
    Found that her honey
    Her friends and her money
    Quickly vanished without a trace.

  39. A fellow who went through a phase
    Of wanting to pillage and raze
    This able commander
    Was named Alexander
    He died from a sudden malaise

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of splicing the genes of old maize
    His modified corn
    Is made, and not born
    And facing some legal delays

  40. hedgewitch says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    abandoned her love of Greek plays
    for acid rock lightshows
    from Pink Floyd to Black Crows
    and Hendrix’s deep Purple Haze.

    O well–I’m just a beginner. ;_) Thanks for linking Mad.

  41. Madeleine says:

    Bravo again Madeleine!

    Here’s mine:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Enjoyed Star Trek in so many ways
    With his stun gun and suit
    One and all thought him cute
    As he basked in celestial rays

  42. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of sleeping through class had his ways.
    He slept with eyes open
    While fruitlessly hopin’
    That no one would notice the glaze.

  43. Ira Bloom says:

    A fellow who went through a phase,
    Lopped an ear when absinthe caused a craze.
    You may well have surmised,
    That his paintings are prized,
    And they sell for much more than Manet’s.

  44. Pari says:

    Ira Bloom….you are the bomb! That’s a great limerick!

  45. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Was fond of Parisian cafes.
    F. Scott was his name,
    The Great Gatsby his fame,
    And his style? Not like Hemingway’s.

  46. madkane says:

    Thanks so much for your fun limericks. And please keep them coming!

  47. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of writing in novel new ways,
    Did liberties take
    In Finnegan’s Wake
    By coining new words to amaze.

  48. kaykuala says:

    A woman who went through a phase…
    Of untold pleasure and was amazed
    What did she do right
    Try as hard as she might
    Just couldn’t figure she was better than best

  49. Manicddaily says:

    They are all so clever. Here are a couple to encourage those who have not yet sharpened limerick skills!

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Turned up nightly but disappeared days–
    Though he waned and he waxed,
    He never relaxed
    his loony but time-honored ways.

    A woman who went through a phase
    took all her old light bulbs to graze.
    She was terribly keen
    to make them “go green.”
    but had a dim grasp of the phrase.

    Thanks, K.

  50. David says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    of wearing his grandmother’s stays
    found the phase at an end
    when attempting to bend
    he split them three different ways.

  51. Granny Smith says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Of rescuing animal strays
    Learned to bark and to purr
    And commenced to grow fur
    That’s so long that she styles it with sprays.

    I was tempted to title this “Lady Dogiva” – but I resisted temptation.

  52. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of eating his wife’s bouillabaisse
    Felt that soupe au poisson
    Got his old mojo on–
    Aphrodisiacs with eel were his craze.

  53. oh think we all know them..those cliché guys..smiles..and..off-topic.. i agree on what you wrote on FB about all the social media sides..

  54. oudiva says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Where she bought into every new craze
    Said, “I do love a fad,
    But it’s driving me mad;
    These limericks have me in a daze.”

  55. A fellow who went through a phase
    Heard only the song “”Purple Haze”
    The fellow said, “Gimme
    Something different by Jimi,
    “This is all that my turntable plays!”

  56. Pari says:

    A woman was deep in a phase,
    Of limericking all through her days
    Every night and each morn,
    (if she didn’t view porn)
    She was posting a new MadKane phrase.

  57. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of responding as if in a daze
    Said, “There’s lots up there twirling
    With the notes I’ve been squirreling.
    I suffer from catch-phrase malaise!”

  58. Robert Schechter says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Of dancing in naked ballets,
    Got bored, then got dressed.
    Now she dances at best
    The foxtrot or odd polonaise.

    A woman who went through a phase
    Of being seduced by the neighs
    Of horses who chewed
    On the grass for their food
    Said, “Here’s something better to graze.”

  59. Robert Schechter says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Of taking long walks in a maze
    Would always get out
    But it took her about
    Anywhere from a week to ten days.

  60. Pari says:

    (4 Bill)

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Started stealing to get through his days
    The habit he had
    got pretty damn bad–
    every cent spent he had to fugaze.

  61. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Of wearing French bras and berets,
    While beach-side at Cannes
    Shed her top for a tan
    She was proud of her cleavage displays.

  62. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Of questioning Wall Street mores
    Got her tent and her tops
    Confiscated by cops
    In the Occupy Wall Street melees.

  63. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Was weary of men and their ways.
    “I’m sick of the brawling
    And please! no more mauling.
    I’m done shopping sales with these gays.”

  64. Madeleine says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Shouting Klingon, as if in a daze.
    He said bachHa’ and Dah
    Then Hoch and Do’Ha’
    The last, an unfortunate phrase.

  65. A woman who went through a phase
    Of living beneath the male gaze,
    Realized it was wrong,
    That she had to move on,
    And rejoiced in a feminist blaze.

  66. Robert Schechter says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Of cooking from Chef Bobby Flay’s
    Cookbooks got ill.
    “I’m sick of the grill,”
    She said. “From now on, I will braise.”

  67. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of preaching to all “Final Days,”
    Later found his own truth
    With a stripper named Ruth.
    It’s to her he now fervently prays.

  68. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow who went through a phase,
    Of passing through life in a haze.
    Hedonistic for sure,
    Was pleasure the cure?
    Sits smiling, “Now those were the days.”

  69. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    (‘Twas a vibrating underwear craze)
    Could quite often be found
    List’ning closely for sound.
    Multitasking, you see, never pays.

  70. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A woman who went through a phase
    Of learning to cook from gourmets,
    Got a PBS gig
    Where French cooking was big
    And “Bon Apetit!” was the catchphrase.

  71. Kathryn El-Assal says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    That lasted for thousands of days
    Had a Millionaire name
    And talk show host fame
    ‘Cause with anecdotes he was ablaze.

  72. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow who went through a phase
    Of pastrami with Kraft mayonnaise
    Said: “Although it ain’t kosher,
    It’s better (I’m so sure)
    Than corned beef on white with bearnaise.”

    (I’m evidently on the same wavelength as Ira this week.)

  73. A fellow who went through a phase
    Of trying to solve every maze
    This famous Corinthian
    Was called Labyrinthion
    We carry his name to these days

  74. A fellow who went through a phase
    He built telescopic arrays
    When Congress cut SETI
    He found it upsetting
    He’ll find ET one of these days

  75. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winners list can be found right here: Limerick of the Week 36.

    But a brand new Limerick-Off has already begun: Edible Limerick.