Worldwide Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was famous worldwide…
or
A woman was famous worldwide…
Here’s mine:
Worldwide Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was famous worldwide:
His two wives had suspiciously died,
And wife number three,
Catching on to his spree,
Turned him in. Now he’s fit to be tried.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Crime, Law Limerick, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Marital Relationships, Marriage Humor, Murder Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Writing Prompts
A woman was famous worldwide
For her bum, which she strutted with pride
A photographer spied
On the beach, her rawhide
Look her booty’s enhanced, he then cried!
A woman was famous worldwide
For the ancient profession she plied
In New Testament lore
She was Babylon’s whore
Nowadays she would be T.V.’s pride.
Once again Bravo to your Madeleine.
I will give this line some thought.
A woman was famous, world-wide,
For keeping some lions, a pride.
When guests came to call
Her pets gave them a maul,
And, sadly, a lot of them died!
A fellow was famous worldwide
So most of the time he would hide
Behind window tints, rants,
And b’loved Foster Grants–
The attention would swell up his pride.
You’d think he’d use pseudonyms often
And stop drawing attention by coughin’
But his “shyness” was pretend
He WANTED fans to apprehend
Him NOW not when dead in his coffin.
A woman was famous worldwide
For putting her own needs aside
And working for others
Especially mothers
And kids in need–they were her pride.
And so the world recalls today
The impact she had, and her way
Of loving and giving
Making the most of her living
Before she was taken away.
A fellow was famous worldwide,
Because of the one time he lied.
Made a claim,
Which was kind of lame.
That the Earth and Moon would collide.
A fellow was famous worldwide.
In each country he kept a cute bride.
They thought him their only.
He left them just lonely.
No conscience was clearly his guide.
A fellow was famous worldwide
For walking the wilder dark side.
While trolling for kicks
With each dominatrix,
He’d find himself fit to be tied.
A fellow was famous worldwide
For keeping his selves side by side.
One was sweet and demur,
But the other less pure.
You know them as Jekyll and Hyde.
A fellow was famous worldwide
For the women he took in his stride.
He’d woo them and bed them
But certainly not wed them:
He just went along for the ride.
A fellow was famous worldwide
For a habit that few could abide.
While he insisted it legal
To have sex with a beagle
It’s now up to a judge to decide.
A woman was famous worldwide
For a coat that was made from the hide
Of a husband she’d caught
In a naked cavort
With a saucy little piece on the side.
A woman was famous worldwide
for inventing a new kind of ride.
Twas a new kind of wheel
which a company might steal
(No slur against Disney’s implied)
A fellow was famous worldwide
for having the world’s longest schnide.
It means a long slump
in baseball. That chump.
He just couldn’t hit if he tried.
“We’ll always have Paris…”
A woman was famous worldwide,
But for what, it is hard to decide.
Having sex on the web?
As a partying deb?
I don’t know, but she’s fun to deride.
MK…excellent as usual
A fellow was famous worldwide
Obama, some thought, was his guide
They both dealt with money
Like bees do with honey
Poor Madoff was sent on a ride
A woman was famous worldwide
For being the oldest girl guide
Though her uniform altered
Her faith never faltered
And she wore all her badges with pride
A woman was famous worldwide
For being a runaway bride
When tying the knot
She said “I do NOT!”
And then ran at full pelt to her hide.
always enjoying your limericks..love your sense of humor
A fellow was famous worldwide
For allowing the economy to slide
He was slothful and reckless
Unutterably feckless
‘Cause he used his PM as his guide.
A fellow was famous worldwide
For being incredibly snide
His sarcastic encounters
Reduced big burly bouncers
To a state that was quite sissified.
Amusing as always.
A fellow was famous worldwide
For being incredibly wide
When his doctor said “No!
All this blubber must go.”
He considered his options were fried.
Oh no I can’t stop now …!!
A fellow was famous worldwide
For marketing fruit that was dried
Folks loved that his prunes
Didn’t need any spoons
Yet they still did the same thing inside
Thanks for the kind words and fun limericks. Please keep those limericks coming!
I’ll have minimal (if any) Internet access today, so if I’m late in responding to something, please be patient. Thanks!
A fellow was famous worldwide
But had something going on the side.
He kept it from his wife
Which caused some strife
And when confronted on it, just lied.
A woman was famous worldwide
and wanted to take a wild ride.
She felt a call to create
To jelly bean animate
and did something that no one else tried.
Watch the video that inspired this limerick: Jelly Bean Animator.
A woman was famous worldwide
You’d think there’s not much she could hide
And yet we were stunned
And want a refund
Kim’s marital ties were untied
a fellow was famous worldwide
for tricking so many with his mind
well too bad for him
a cute gal on a limb
best him, pushing his fame aside
:)
thanks for the visit. O I hope I am improving, though I still don’t understand the form fully, it is fun trying it though :) thanks
A fellow is famous worldwide
For pants –(last week’s start being applied)
This week seems apropos
For the Letterman Show
Worldwide Pants on show’s ‘end’ does reside
Very clever!
(To be read in an Australian accent)
A fellow was famous worldwide
For a globe-hopping pogo-stick ride
He set out in Perth
For a trip ’round the Earth,
And returned via Port Adelaide.
A fellow was famous worldwide:
Tiptoed Niagara he did slip to glide;
To the maple leaf country he ended
Wandering why he even contended,
The wire of his slide to the other side.
A fellow was famous worldwide
For getting constantly pie-eyed.
He visited every Irish bar
Between County Cork and Myanmar –
He didn’t stop even when his brain was fried.
A fellow was famous worldwide
Because often he publically cried,
But astute folks took note
His emotional bloat
Expressed only his oversized pride.
A fellow was famous worldwide
For going through life being snide
He was told by his lad
‘You weren’t all that bad, Dad’
And the old man said ‘Ah! But I tried.’
A woman was famous worldwide
For inventing adult “Sip ‘N Slide,”
A liqueur flavored lube
In a penis-shaped tube.
Did you google it? Shoot me — I lied.
I slightly revised, think the second versions is a bit better:)
Sorry — the second version was supposed to read “Sip ‘N Side” :)
A woman once famous worldwide
Welcomed all to New York’s harbor side
“…your tired, your poor…”
Now meet a closed door
Corporate greed and corruption preside
A fellow was famous worldwide
Till he put “perfume” on his bride
The old label–he can’t see
Still he sprayed her like crazy
Too late, he learned it’s formaldehyde
A fellow was famous worldwide
For stopping the flow of the tide.
When they said, “That’s real cute!”
He said “Hi! I’m Canute.
It’s something I’d already tried”
A woman was famous worldwide
Though most people she couldn’t abide
She lived alone in a castle
To avoid public hassle
So, nobody knew that she died
Her bones they did find one day
A pile of dust ready to blow away
For all of her fame
To her grave no one came
In the end, she just faded away.
A fellow was famous worldwide
There’s nothing for him to hide
Reputation precedes him
Not acted on his whims
Level headed when skirtchasing maids
I really like Kathy El-Assal’s this week.
A woman was famous worldwide:
She’s the latest young “runaway bride.”
Though she fled from the altar,
The public won’t fault her:
She’s the front of this week’s TV Guide.
A woman was famous worldwide
For her size, which we people deride.
When she walks down the street,
Potholes form at her feet;
Yes, yo’ mama’s excessively wide.
A fellow was famous world-wide
For the dangerous stunts he had tried –
Stuck his head in the maw
Of a beast with strong jaw.
It was crocodile tears that were cried.
Oh good! More fun limericks!
a fellow was famous worldwide
for his muscular and tanned hide
all the women a glee
when a glimpse they’d see
but sadly it was all CGI
A fellow was famous worldwide:
Tiptoed Niagara he did slip to glide;
To the maple leaf country he ended
Wondering why he even contended,
The wire of his slide to the other side.
A fellow was famous worldwide
Gained wealth from the weapons he plied.
When the scoundrel got caught
The Congress he bought
Said by law he did always abide
Oh Butler… Where are You?
a fellow was famous worldwide
until it was found that he lied
his name was defaced
his shame was showcased
the butler made off with his bride
A fellow was famous worldwide
for pimping his innocent bride
until the dark day
she left him astray,
hooked up with a whore glassy-eyed.
A fellow was famous worldwide
For fiddlin’ while Ancient Rome fried.
If he’d dropped that darned VI-olin
And instead done some diallin’
The Fire Chariot at least coulda tried :(
A fellow was famous worldwide
as a rich man’s portfolio guide.
But no one got paid off,
for the fellow was Madoff,
and was all that his last name implied.
A fellow was famous worldwide
For pimping his bitchinest ride
A lowrider with wings
It could do crazy things
And when driven off cliffs even glide
A fellow was famous world-wide
As a prince. Said his lovely young bride,
“He was only a frog
When we met on a log.
It’s My wisdom on which he relied!”
A fellow was famous world-wide
As a man who was destined to guide.
Such wisdom he’d spoken!
So many hearts broken!
With his actions their hopes were denied.
A woman was famous worldwide
As a femme fatale dancer who’d glide.
With her sensual gaze
Mata Hari could raise
Men’s libidos and that’s how she spied.
A fellow was famous worldwide
For a case of mass infanticide;
At the river of Hamelin
Piped each ratty mammal in,
Then the kids! His excuse? He was Pied!
A fellow was famous worldwide
for solving the odd homicide.
When his friend asked, “What schools
gave you such helpful tools?”
“Elementary, dear Watson!” he cried.
I won’t have any Net access on Sunday, I fear. So my Limerick of the Week announcement and my new Limerick-Off post won’t appear until some time on Monday. Sorry about that! Of course, that means you have an extra day to get your limericks in for the current Limerick-Off. :)
If you want to get my weekly new Limerick-Off email announcements, please email me with the subject line: “Limerick-Off Announcements.” (You’ll find my email address in the Author section of the upper right sidebar of this blog.)
A fellow was famous worldwide
There simply was nowhere to hide
His brain plainly froze
There’s no way he knows
The three things he needs to preside
A fellow was famous worldwide
for the couches he hand-built with pride
which had ‘split’ leather seats.
And the name on receipts?
It said, “Furnished by J. Killand Hide.”
A fellow was famous worldwide
for broadcasting chats fireside.
FDR, first and last,
used the early podcast
as a method to help him preside.
A fellow was famous worldwide
for the songs that are sung ‘side by side.’
Ah Paree/Buddy’s Blues/
I’m Still Here. Ah, revues!
(“I’m just a Broadway Baby,” she sighed.)
Hi Mad–I’m a bit late in the game–just found your site but here are a couple:
A fellow was famous worldwide
for all of the “plums” he had dried;
If prunes they were called
He became quite appalled
And sat on the toilet and cried.
A fellow was famous worldwide
For surmounting each stock market slide,
Turned out, the man Madoff
Ne’re once did a trade-off,
Nothing ventured, everything lied.
K.
Ha! Just noticed other Madoff one! I guess he is a fitting subject for limericks!
I got back last night from the Lewis Black Cruise where I had minimal Internet connection. I’m reviewing all the limericks today and will get the Limerick of the Week and the new Limerick-Off posts up as soon as I can. I haven’t gotten my land legs back yet, so everything is spinning, including my computer screen. This is slowing me down a bit. :) Sorry!
This Limerick-Off is officially over, at long last. Sorry, once again, for the unavoidable delay. I’m still in post-cruise spin-mode. I just hope my dizziness hasn’t screwed up my new Limerick of the Week post and new Limerick-Off post.
And the winner is… Limerick of the Week 35.
Here’s the new Limerick-Off: Limerick Phase.
Thanks everyone for your delightful limericks!