Slippery Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who just let it slip…
or
A woman who just let it slip…
Here’s mine:
Slippery Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who just let it slip
That his wife got a tuck and a nip
Threw their marriage off course
And was sued for divorce.
Maybe next time he’ll zip up his lip.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Health & Medical Humor, Loose Tongue, Marital Relationships, Marriage Humor, Nip & Tuck, Physical Appearance, Plastic Surgery, Poetry & Prompts, Relationships Poetry, Talkative, Writing Prompts
haha yes – maybe he should indeed zip up his lip next time..or just try to say it nicely..smiles
A woman who just let it slip
That she didn’t give waiters a tip,
Got a hot coffee (large)
Down her decolletage
And was crowned by a great big egg-flip!
Thanks for the weekly prompt.
A fellow who just let it slip
that his wife liked to play with a whip
was pestered by mates
in the hope of cut rates –
and the chance that she might let it rip.
A fellow who just let it slip
Felt it in his crotch and then down his hip
He knew from the start
It would be a nasty fart
But said “what the hell, I’m gonna let it rip.”
A fellow who just let it slip
He was making out on the last trip
His live-in got to know
And sadly to his horror
She left in a jiffy without batting an eyelid
Hank
A fellow who just let it slip
That his girlfriend had just let one rip
At a debutante ball
Took a terrible fall;
No one’s fault — he just happened to trip.
A fellow who just let it slip
That his wife had a manly grip
Was whacked in the head
And is no longer fed
She also carries a big whip
A fellow who just let it slip
About his wife that wasn’t a drip
She wore four inch pumps
And gave him daily humps
Hardly anyone knew his name was Kip
A woman who just let “it” slip
In her mouth goes the blind date’s “cleft lip”
He’s got mask for disguise
She was caught by surprise
As she opens her eyes with de-masked gyp
Hello. Happy Sunday!
lol…that’s some expensive slip!
double lol…David, hansi, Thom & Karin!
Nice one Mad Kane & everyone else!
Thanks for sharing & visiting.
The Beautiful Winds Of India
Bravo! :O)
A fellow who just let it slip
Said, “I know a quite prominent vip!”
But his friend said, “You see,
“It’s pronounced V-I-P,
“You really should just get a grip!”
A woman who just let it slip
That her husband’s tool still had its tip
Got an eye for an eye
With her husband’s reply:
“And my wife has huge balls!” was his quip.
A fellow who just let it slip
That he liked nothing more than to strip
Was arrested one day
With his parts on display
When he failed to remember his zip
A fellow who just let it slip
That his marriage was merely a blip
Had to run for his life
From his long-suffering wife
Who was wielding a broom and whip
Excellent, Mad! Love it.
Will think on’t…
A fellow had just let it slip
Of how he enjoyed her tight grip:
At each stern behest,
She’d fill his request,
Or suffer the blows of the whip.
A woman had just let it slip
Off her shoulder and down past her hip.
With far less to hide,
Could she safely confide
How much pleasure she got from the strip?
A woman had just let it slip,
That old but reliable tip:
To properly tease,
You must drop to your knees,
And graze his best parts with your lip.
A fellow who just let it slip
that a face had appeared on his chip,
and to much his surprise
it was Christ with sad eyes,
half-buried in a can of bean dip!
In-Carcerated
A woman who just let it slip
That she’d had an insider tip
But quickly retracted
To find they’d reacted
Taught crafts in prison. Now isn’t that hip?
A woman who just let it slip
That she was going on a trip
To the Aloha state
With another woman’s mate
Soon found her friends had all jumped ship.
Happy Halloween!
love your limericks, keep sharing.
A woman who just let it slip
that she wasn’t born with a hip
she wasn’t humane
she was just insane
because Halloween made her flip
DUI
A speeder who just let it slip
that he’d taken much more than a nip
was given a test
and is under arrest
in a place that no-one can skip.
A woman who just let it slip
That she teased a young man with a strip
Was soon fired from Uno.
Now she’s sobbing, “Don’t you know,
I should have said ‘No’ to the tip.”
A fellow who let his pants slip
Way down past the joints of his hips
Shows his wise cracking butt
Barely covers his nuts
One good belt for a lunar eclipse.
Mad, sorry- I made a change, and I can’t erase the top post- I think the last line is clearer in this one:
A fellow who let his pants slip
Way down past the joints of his hips
Shows his wise cracking butt
Barely covers his nuts
Needs a belt for a lunar eclipse.
A woman had just let it slip
That the Tea Party smells like sheep dip
Now Sarah is pissed
and she’s on Perry’s list,
Marcus Bachmann is ready to flip (his hair into a lovely ‘do)
A fellow who just let it slip
That he carried a large leather whip
Caused the ladies to swoon
In his lecture room
“It’s not the years honey” Indy quipped
a fellow who just let it slip
he was out to the river to dip
kids came along
his clothes were all gone
and all he could do was drip
a fellow who just let it slip
out of his very loose lip
he spoke way too fast
for the moment to last
and soon too did the truth start to drip
A fellow who just let it slip
that his balls could sink any ship
got the chance to prove
with an earthquake move
and now his dolls rule the trip.
A fellow who just let it slip
That he took a cold skinny dip
With a girl who was eager
But laughed at his meager
Sad little leaguer that fit on a microchip.
A fellow who just let it slip
His desire as he began to strip.
She looked up and said,
“One more move and you’re dead.”
Surprised he then asked, “Just the tip?”
A fellow who just let it slip,
When stopped, that he drove a spaceship,
Spent the night behind bars
Touring Venus and Mars;
Next day, back to Earth from his “trip”.
There’s a lot of people that could just stand to do a little zipping there… Another fun limerick!
A fellow who just let it slip
at the urinal, caused quite a drip.
No one noticed the mess –
they looked on in distress,
for it was as long as a whip!
A fellow who just let it slip –
“I’m the captain on this ocean trip!” –
caught the ear of a minx,
so that if the boat sinks,
you might say she’ll go down with the ship!
A fellow who just let it slip
“Hey you, from the Africa trip”
Your C.I. wife’s name
Is Valerie Plame
Enjoy your new state, town, and zip
Man Overboard
a fellow had just let it slip
his plans for an overnight trip
with a gal twenty one
they had way to much fun
his rich wife now grieves aboard ship
A woman who just let it slip
Of affairs at a double time clip
After a very long night
Spent in utter delight
Exclaimed I really don’t give a flip.
A fellow who just let it slip
That the moyel took too big a snip,
Said, “Now my son Earl
Is my dear daughter, Pearl.
That does it! The man blew his tip.”
A fellow who just let it slip
Said, “I just couldn’t get a good grip.
My zipper got stuck
And I tried with no luck
To maneuver it out by the tip.”
A woman who just let it slip
That she carried a gun at her hip
Lay down on a bolster
And rolled on her holster.
Now she’s an historical blip.
A woman who just let it slip
That foreplay for her meant a whip,
Said, “Dear, it’s the latest.
Real men need a sadist.
Now grovel, you Gladys Knight Pip!”
A fellow who just let it slip
That he once was beamed up to a ship
Reported an alien
(Ugly and scaley ‘n
Mean-looking) made him unzip.
A fellow who just let it slip
That spies had implanted a chip
Within his brain’s id,
Said, “It’s that, or my lid
May have recently suffered a flip.”
A fellow who just let it slip
That he feared for his crew and his ship
Said, “Fool! Don’t you know
There’s more iceberg below?
Do you think that the whole thing’s a tip?”
A fellow who just let it slip
That he had at best but a thin grip
On reality said,
“It’s because in my head
They’ve implanted a non-Intel chip.”
A fellow who just let it slip
That his widely-loved vegetable dip
Was laden with lard
Was thereupon scarred
By a shocked vegetarian’s whip.
A fellow who just let it slip
That the fart we heard someone let rip
Which he claimed was his brother’s
Was his and no other’s,
Said, “Must be the beans in the dip.”
A fellow who just let it slip
That he merely intended a quip
When he dropped to his knees
And said, “Marry me, please,”
Has returned from his honeymoon trip.
A fellow who just let it slip
That he hates it when folks double-dip
Said, “Why not be nice?
If you have to dip twice,
For goodness sake, use a fresh chip!”
A fellow who just let it slip
That he loved a good crack of the whip.
From gals in high heels,
Who were open to deals,
Which they’d strike after giving him lip.
A woman who just let it slip
(Well, let’s face it, the crone let it rip)
Spewed out curse after curse
In a stream hardly terse,
Clearly heard in the neighboring zip.
And to what do we owe this display?
She was found tipping back Tanqueray,
But the old woman swore,
“I don’t cuss like no whore
All that squawkin’s my African gray.”
A fellow who just let it slip,
‘Round the office, that he used to strip,
Found the int’rest he piqued
Wasn’t that of Monique,
But of Bruce, Alejandro and Chip.
As the rain drop, tipper tapper and tips
A cry and sigh slips
From her soft, warm and wet lips
From the tall tree, sensuous drops drips
On the bed of earth, night falls and trips
Shashi
A fellow who just let it slip
That certain appendages drip
He went off half cocked
Now he’s truly shocked
That no one considers him hip
always fun.
A fellow who just let it slip
he was going away on a trip
came home to find out
he’d been robbed. Without doubt
all was gone, all except a q-tip.
A fellow who just let it slip
that he ‘borrowed’ some funds from township
school and pub works
‘cause he wanted more perks
found himself in a cell with a Crip.
A fellow who just let it slip
that he falsely had claimed authorship
of his tale of a life
full of drugs, booze and strife
was dishonored by Oprah. Snip, snip!
A fellow had not let it slip
He’d been on a junket, a quick gamblin’ trip
He was hungover all day
And he sure looked that way!
Hair of the dog–he kept taking a nip.
The boss thought that he had the flu
Why not? It’s happened to you!
But the brown-nose tattled
Our boy became rattled
Deciding he’d better tell it true.
The boss had a giggle at that,
And, smiling like a Cheshire cat,
Said, “Son, you know what I think?
The two of us should go get a drink.”
So he went for his coat and his hat.
A woman who just let it slip
Regretting giving so much lip
So she shut her sorry trap
Stopped creating so much flap
And found herself getting a grip.
Thanks so much everyone for your kind comments and fun limericks! This Limerick-Off is officially over. (I’ve posted the latest Limerick of the Week and the new Limerick-Off a bit early because on Sunday I’ll have minimal Internet access, if any.)
So, who won? You can find the Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions listed here: Limerick of the Week 34.
And a new Limerick-Off has already begun: World-Wide Limerick.