Take A Shot At Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who’d taken a shot…

or

A woman who’d taken a shot…

Here’s mine:

Take A Shot At Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who’d taken a shot
At a gal, once his lover, now not,
Missed her heart, hit her arm
And still did her great harm.
Now he sleeps on an old jailhouse cot.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

UPDATE: April 23 is Lover’s Day

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58 Responses to “Take A Shot At Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    At a noble called Count Bernadotte
    Was soon guillotined,
    For he’d misdemeaned,
    And the populace danced a gavotte.

  2. hansi says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    Found his drink not what it ought.
    Much to his dismay
    He refused to pay
    So he had another, and that was the caveat.

  3. Karin says:

    I am getting addicted to these limericks. How fun. I look forward to writing and reading every week.
    Thank you Mad Kane.

    How I Did With the Flu Shot

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    Had to take it with eyes tightly shut
    With a sight of a needle
    She can’t look and can’t handle
    She’s a nurse but valor, she ain’t got.

    (That nurse was me. Yes, I am/was a chicken).

  4. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    Had clearly forgotten he was a robot
    His felt a cold breeze
    As his insides started to freeze
    Now his museum exhibit is hot

  5. A fellow who’d taken a shot
    Took a few more and completely forgot
    A promise to his wife
    To stay out of strife
    And deserved all the nagging he got.

    Prague October 16th.

  6. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    At impressing a stinking rich snot
    For a job shov’ling dung
    Had his self-esteem wrung
    All for naught – in the end he got squat.

  7. Karen Rhodes says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    At being the hottest of hot,
    Found her boobs gone all saggy,
    And her bottom all baggy,
    When aging had up with her caught!

  8. J Sardo says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    After several she’d gotten besot
    Never mind she implored
    It’s time I got floored
    For my wedding today I forgot.

  9. Mark Kane says:

    A woman had taken a shot
    At stardom, with some one quite hot.
    There was action, nonstop,
    But the film was a flop,
    For alas there was simply no plot.

  10. Mark Kane says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    Of tequila was feeling quite hot.
    She swallowed three more,
    As men rushed the door.
    Her desires were clearly not glatt.

  11. J Sardo says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    At a deer in the woods he did spot
    The miss he proclaimed was quite narrow
    He nevertheless shot a sparrow
    But at dinner that eve he ate squat.

  12. daisy mae simon says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    Got off, saying “Oops! Just a swat.”
    Yet, Whittington ‘lost face’
    Cheney showed no disgrace
    What a DICK- Stand him? No, I cannot!

  13. First time poster, here … so I wrote one for both lines =)

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    At the dentist, his tooth full of rot,
    Found his face quickly numb
    As a baboon’s red bum …
    And his nose not containing its snot!

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    Of some brew from a simmering pot
    Grew a prehensile tail
    And oozed slime like a snail …
    T’was a gastropod monkey, begot!

  14. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    Started to not feel so hot
    He filled a syringe
    For a heroin binge
    But he must have got a bad lot

    He really did not have a “flight”
    He got more and more of a fright
    For it wasn’t the drug
    But the juice of a bug
    Now with wings he can’t sleep at night.

    Happy Halloween!

  15. Thom says:

    A fellow who had taken a shot
    Wished he had stop but did not
    The liquor was clear
    Which he did not fear
    Porcelain gods smiled up from the pot

  16. Drew says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    at being something he was not
    turned around in dismay
    For this wasn’t his day
    For he was not what he was not!

  17. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    At his neighbor’s antique flower pot
    Got a nasty surprise
    For that move-not-so-wise:
    Steamin’ St Bernard poop through his slot.

  18. Veralynne says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    Wished instead that it’d been pot
    It certainly was yummy
    But not good for her tummy
    Her head, her throat or her twat.

  19. Veralynne says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    From her balcony o’er t’ward the boite
    Could never have known
    She’d caught the neighbor’s bone
    Doin’ a chick–not his wife–on a cot.

  20. Veralynne says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    With a chick from the neighborhood boite
    Thought a quickie’d be cool
    No talkin’ out of school
    But his wife’s friend, the photog, did not.

  21. Andy says:

    Hello.
    I’m just stopping by to say you are the QUEEN of humor!
    I always have a good laugh when I visit here.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Bashful Lady

  22. Dr. Goose says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    At seducing a guy she thought hot
    Wouldn’t grizzle or pout
    When it didn’t work out:
    “Is he gay? Seems more likely than not.”

  23. Mark Kane says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    At writing an intricate plot.
    Was quickly dissuaded,
    When publishers weighed it.
    She’d fervidly written A LOT.

  24. John Larkin says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    wasn’t ready to get what he got.
    How could he have known
    his kidneys were blown?
    So the drink dropped him dead on the spot.

  25. now that deserves him right…smiles

  26. Pari says:

    OMG!!! I’m laughing so hard at these right now, I can’t submit my own or even think of one ’til my ribs stop hurting! (her twat! HAHAHA!)

  27. madkane says:

    Thanks for the fun limericks. And please keep them coming!

  28. Ira Bloom says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    At a fellow who seemed hot-to-trot,
    Told him “Though you are second-rate,
    I need you to fecundate.”
    “I’d hoped you’d say that,” he quipped, “not.”

  29. kaykuala says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    Weed, ice he couldn’t have been bothered
    He laid in a stupor
    Hoping it was forever
    His wife moved in with a young guy as a swop

  30. Jan Freeman says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    At becoming what he was now not
    Found that what he was then
    Was just the same again
    So there’s no thickening of the plot

  31. Robert Tan says:

    Hi Madeleine, here are my contributions:

    A bishop who had stolen a shot
    Of a woman sleeping naked on a cot,
    Suddenly got conscientious.
    He blamed it all on Mencius
    And even blamed his “Canon” on-the-spot.

    ~ o ~

    A sorry fellow who’d taken a shot,
    At penile enlargement he thought he ought,
    Got a stretch too far,
    It stretched to Trafalgar.
    And now, how he wishes he did not.

  32. Mark Megson says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    At the president had clearly forgot
    All the people could see him
    In the wax work museum
    And real guards were soon on the spot

  33. Jesse Levy says:

    A man who’d taken a shot
    at an open Senator’s slot
    Got caught in a scandal
    involving a sandal
    A shoe-in I guess he is not.

  34. Elisa says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    dropped dead right on the spot
    a little man screamed
    since the woman was creamed
    after stealing a truck load of pot

  35. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    Of Scotch that his clansmen forgot,
    While bagpipes were skirling
    Had kilt fly up whirling,
    To bare the true pride of the Scot.

  36. Jesse Levy says:

    Revised version. Thanks Mad.

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    at an opened up Senator’s slot
    Got caught in a scandal
    involving a sandal
    a shoe-in I guess he is not!

  37. A woman who’d taken a shot
    Was drunk more often than not.
    She liked to be numb
    Even if she acted quite dumb
    So unhappy was she with her lot.

  38. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    At writing still searched for a plot.
    “I am sure I”ll be fine
    When I find that first line!”
    Do editors wait? They do not!

  39. brian says:

    a man who’d take a shot
    couldn’t walk straight t’the lot
    his daughter of nine
    drove him all a’time
    now he is penalized a lot

  40. Eugene Marshall says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    He’d thought Jodie Foster was hot
    Teamed with Pope John Paul
    Decried the Berlin Wall
    The victim he lived, Evil Empire not

    ————

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    On a dress seems he left a white spot
    He went on TV
    Shook his finger did he
    Said, “Sex with that woman I’ve had not!”

  41. Patricia says:

    Marinated Limerick

    a fellow who’d taken a shot
    went home with a girl he thought hot
    she was colder than ice
    as she gave him the dice
    he bubbles and boils in her pot

    Written By: Patricia Sawyer
    10-18-2011

  42. Mark Kane says:

    A woman had taken a shot
    At tying the marital knot.
    The groom remained drunk.
    The honeymoon stunk.
    Hot Sex? No, there wasn’t a lot.

  43. A woman who’d taken a shot
    Found her song in the number one slot
    Her every refrain
    Made it clear who was vain
    But the guy wouldn’t stop his gavotte

  44. Granny Smith says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    At catalogs mailed by the lot
    Wasn’t fooled by their rave
    Of five dollars she’d SAVE
    She’d PAY out without saving squat!

  45. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    At becoming less, well, hot to trot
    Wrote a lim’rick each time
    She got randy cause rhyme
    Effin stoked her cerebral G-spot.

  46. Johanna Richmond says:

    Reversal of Fortune

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    At her husband for serving her rot
    Said, “Get back in the kitchen
    Clean up; stop your bitchin’!”
    And then gave his rear end a swat.

  47. A fellow who’d taken a shot
    Had practiced his shooting a lot.
    But he still had no aim
    When he shot at his game,
    So he ended with naught in his pot.

  48. RJ Clarken says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    at tying a figure eight knot
    tied herself in a twist
    bounding foot to a wrist
    with a beautiful silken ascot.

  49. RJ Clarken says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    at dating a girl he should not
    got a nasty disease
    not to mention some fleas.
    Too bad he fell for ‘Honey Pot.’

  50. RJ Clarken says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    at crashing a chi-chi night spot
    paid a thou for a drink
    and much more for ‘wink-wink.’
    The next day? Just a sot with no pot.

  51. RJ Clarken says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    on an ‘bona fide’ antique teapot
    was duped in a scheme
    by a scam artist team.
    She was conned to a tea in this plot

  52. Veralynne says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    Of what? He’d already forgot!
    He knew he’d found trouble
    His head was a bubble
    His face filled with tears, drool and snot.

    He tried to walk back to the john
    “Is this a flat floor I walk on?”
    It felt like a stair
    Or like walking on air
    Or as if he were captured in Tron.

    As he teetered and gave up his grip
    He thought, “Wow! What a beautiful trip!
    The music’s in colors and
    I can see through my hand…”
    And with that he gave Earth the slip.

  53. Veralynne says:

    A woman who’d taken a shot
    Excited the men–they were hot!
    In the bareback shot game–
    Annie Oakley her name–
    All came to see what she’s got.

    Dressed in buckskin and nuthin,’ you see
    A bandana her lone ‘cessory
    ‘Cept her gunbelt and boots
    Ten gallon hat just for hoots
    She put bullseyes outta their misery.

    One day while atop of her horse
    A shot went astray of the course
    Wild Bill took a zing
    Right across his wild thing
    He came out of the hills only by force.

  54. Ginger (France) says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    Then two then ten shed tears so hot
    That the whole bar melted
    And patrons ran naked
    The place turned a tourist hotspot!

  55. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow who’d taken a shot
    At picking up girls on the spot
    Refused to acknowledge
    That HE’D been to college –
    Not NOW when dumbed-DOWN was so hot!

  56. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow had taken a shot
    At a nympho he found to be hot.
    They repeatedly mated,
    She ended up sated,
    Cuz he gave just as good as he got.

  57. A fellow who’d taken a shot
    Had exposed one more time than he ought;
    “Will the client be cross?”
    He quaked. Snarled his boss,
    “Beside himself, likely as not!”

  58. madkane says:

    Thanks so much for your wonderful limericks! This Limerick-Off is officially over, and you can find out who won here: Limerick of the Week 32. But you can still have fun writing limericks by participating in this new Limerick-Off here: Limerick Tale.