Sweaty Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A guy who was covered in sweat…

or

A gal who was covered in sweat…

Here’s mine:

Sweaty Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A guy who was covered in sweat
Had gambled and lost a large bet.
His setback was bad,
His wife really mad,
And all he had left was regret.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity by commenting on my Facebook post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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67 Responses to “Sweaty Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Linkmeister says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Was moved to make a large bet
    He put cash on a horse
    Without checking its source
    Now his nerves, they’re all in a fret

  2. RHEA CHERRITH says:

    THERE WAS A GAL ALL COVERED IN SWEAT
    SHE WAS VERY VERY UPSET
    SHE ASKED TO BE EXCUSED
    AND HER BOSS WAS NOT AMUSED
    SHE HAD NOT FINISH HER CHORES
    AND HE TOLD HER TO HIT THE DOOR.

  3. Paula Knarr says:

    A gal who was covered in sweat
    A tan she was trying to get
    She lay by the pool
    Making all the men drool
    ‘Cuz the bikini disappeared when wet

  4. Ira Bloom says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Told his friend, while collecting a bet:
    “It may seem a fiasco
    To guzzzle Tabasco-
    I do it to get out of debt.”

  5. Meredith McMinn says:

    Jim’s Gym?

    A Guy who was covered in sweat,
    As he sprawled by his mate sighed, “You bet!
    Though Pilates it’s not,
    This with you was so hot,
    It’s a workout I won’t soon forget.”

  6. A guy who was covered in sweat
    Made his lady loves rather upset.
    As he slipped and he slithered
    His ardour just withered
    Leaving appetites sorely unmet.

  7. A gal who was covered in sweat
    Was shunned by the guys in her set.
    Though she smelt rather ripe
    She was determined to Skype
    And was able to date on the Net

  8. Thom says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Decided he would no longer fret
    He went down to the store
    And bought towels galore
    His body was no longer wet

    Yours was wonderful as usual :) Loved it

  9. A guy who was covered in sweat
    Was trying to fix his Corvette
    “How CAN I get kicks
    “Out on Route 66
    “When the engine won’t even start yet?”

  10. RJ Clarken says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    bore the brunt of a rude sobriquet.
    Because he was champ
    of malodorous damp,
    they called him ‘The Wet Baronet.’

  11. RJ Clarken says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    had the hots for a sexy brunette.
    So he said, “It sounds screwy:
    you make me feel dewy!”
    That line hasn’t worked for him yet.

  12. RJ Clarken says:

    Ooops…here’s a correction to the first of my two limericks:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    bore the brunt of a rude sobriquet.
    Because he was champ
    of malodorous damp,
    they called him ‘The Dank Baronet.’

  13. scott says:

    A gal who was covered in sweat,
    could not get off the internet.
    Her page was exploding,
    with hundreds downloading,
    Birthday wishes she’ll not soon forget.

  14. Jane says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    griped, “Must’ve been somethin’ I et.
    I do love that sweet girl,
    but she can’t cook no squirrel.
    It’s a meal I’d just soon forget.”

  15. scott says:

    I was hesitant to post this on this day, but WTH, the truth doesn’t take a holiday.

    A guy who was covered in sweat,
    did knowingly aid and abet,
    the theft of the Vote,
    and as he read My Pet Goat,
    he knew that the stage had been set.

  16. Veralynne says:

    A gal who was covered in sweat
    Could not bear to part with the jet.
    In the hot tub, that is–
    Her hair turned to frizz.
    No one knew water from sweat, even yet.

  17. Veralynne says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Just hated being dirty or wet
    Physiology can be a mean joke
    When you’re born a fastidious bloke
    And a dirty job is all you can get.

  18. Johanna Richmond says:

    A gal who was starting to sweat
    While performing a horny sextet,
    Between visions impure
    And a skilled embouchure,
    Earned the “Rusty Trombone” sobriquet.

  19. Ira Bloom says:

    A gal who was covered in sweat
    Told the preacher she’d only just met:
    “Sir, the spritz from your sermon-
    on-the-mount left me squirmin’!
    You’ve baptized me! Lordy I’m wet!”

  20. Ira Bloom says:

    A congressman, covered in sweat,
    Voted twice not to increase the debt.
    He said “Nuts to the pundit
    Who says we should fund it.
    It’s better than Russian Roulette!”

  21. A guy who was covered in sweat
    Kept a bull elephant as a pet;
    Panted, “Shov’lling this stuff
    “All day long sure is tough!
    “But think of the rhubarb I get!”

  22. Mark Kane says:

    A woman was covered in sweat,
    From dancing so hard at her fete.
    The Rabbi was key,
    To setting her free,
    By letting her get her sweet “Get”.

  23. Mark Kane says:

    A gal who was covered in sweat,
    Often slept with each man that she met.
    With great acting, my dear,
    She so helped her career.
    See her now on that Hollywood set.

  24. Altonian says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Blamed it all on the dammed internet
    Error six-seven-eight
    Got him into a state
    And he’s still not connected as yet

  25. Kay Salady says:

    A girl who was covered in sweat
    Hadn’t learned how to change a tire yet
    So she stuck out her leg
    And she started to beg
    Not knowing the problems she’d get

  26. A man who was covered in sweat
    Was working to get out of debt
    But the wages he earned
    Weren’t enough he learned
    And out of his home he was set.

  27. shammi says:

    A gal who was covered in sweat
    Couldn’t help but fume and fret.
    Her high-fashion kit
    Just ripped and split,
    Laying bare much more than her silhouette.

  28. Padmavani says:

    a gal who was covered in sweat
    wouldn’t use ‘the word’ to win a bet.
    nose in the air she drawled it slow
    only horses sweat, women glow.
    and the prince wed the gal he’d just met.

  29. MM says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Was arrested for humping his pet
    “It was choking” he cried
    “So the heimlich I tried,
    An action that I now regret!”

  30. Dr. Goose says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Confessed to his dearest Nanette:
    “This reminds me in truth
    Of the rides of my youth
    When we used to ask ‘Are we there yet?'”

  31. mareymercy says:

    This are all hysterical! What fun!

  32. mareymercy says:

    THESE are all hysterical. Sheesh.

  33. Elisa says:

    I LOVE this, but am so rusty. Please forgive me; here’s my try . . .

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    had got awfully stuck in a net
    the fisherman screamed
    the oceans they teamed
    and the poor man named Jonah cried, “Wet!”

  34. brian says:

    a man who was covered in sweat
    still wrote this limerick wet
    with really no clue
    but daring to do
    will-ing to play the fool yet

  35. brian says:

    a man who was covered in sweat
    sheet damp, bed wet and sank yet
    once more before dawn
    dared not end up drown
    water wings, each wore a set

  36. a gal was covered in sweat
    it was she her husband bet
    she prayed he would win
    as she guzzled her gin
    and prayed this night to forget

    My first limerick….not good but I have stepped into the water…:)

  37. Bruce Niedt says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    said to her, “Aren’t you satisfied yet?”
    But she made such a racket,
    took each ball and would whack it –
    when she won, she’d jump over the net.

  38. Bruce Niedt says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    loved a girl who was in a quartet.
    He was played like a fiddle
    when she plucked at his middle
    and rosined his bow until wet.

  39. kaykuala says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Didn’t get to do what he intended
    Shove a bee hive with a stick
    Honey he thought he would lick
    He was very much swollen headed instead

    I visited your Mar 05, 2007 posting. I included below a response for the fun of it!

    ‘Pick a card’ was a phrase I would hear
    A ‘budding magician’ I would rather not be near
    He would fumble
    He would grumble
    We sadly sympathized but thankfully no one jeered

  40. Bruce Niedt says:

    A gal who was covered in sweat
    had the hots for a Civil War vet.
    But she wasn’t a harlot,
    for her first name was Scarlett,
    and the guy she desired was Rhett.

  41. Bruce Niedt says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    banged his dates in a purple Corvette.
    That is, till the repo
    took it back to the depot –
    all that loving had run up a debt.

  42. A guy who was covered in sweat
    Had made love to a Beethoven quartet.
    The allegro was fine,
    The pizzicato divine,
    But the finale he’d rather forget.

  43. Ann LeFlore says:

    These are so funny I am still laughing so hard after reading them
    Island Breeze.

  44. Granny Smith says:

    A guy who was covered with sweat,
    Indignant, rushed Pooch to the vet.
    “She encountered a rake.
    What means should I take?
    I’m not ready for puppies just yet!”

  45. Pat Hatt says:

    A gal who was cover in sweat
    Still had one more table to set
    But in came the crew
    Yanked out the brew
    And got too drunk to fret

  46. brian says:

    haha…it was worth the trip back for OLN to read some of these…love it…

  47. madkane says:

    Thanks for your fun limericks, everyone, and please keep them coming!

  48. Sheila Moore says:

    funny limerick about a not so funny addiciton. I just love the rhythm of limericks and haven’t read one in a while. thanks :)

  49. Granny Smith says:

    A gal who was covered with sweat
    Had entered a race on a bet.
    For such a beginner
    They cheered her as winner
    Not seeing each shoe had a jet.

  50. Johanna Richmond says:

    A guy who was starting to sweat
    After seeing his nude silhouette,
    Held a mirror below
    To check Mo, Bo and Jo
    ‘Fo’ completing his proud pirouette.

  51. A gal who was covered in sweat
    Vowed, “Girl! That’s your last pirouette!
    “Admit it! You grew too
    “Rotund for your tutu!
    “BELLY dancing’s now your best bet!”

  52. Shashi says:

    Good to see you again after a long time my friend…. here is my first ever try at this ……

    A gal who was covered in sweat
    Watched in horror – Fred
    Who was just starting to sweat
    Melted in her arms – dead

    (Ok this is my first try… and impromptu, as I landed here from Poetry picnic that I am hosting this week… let me know if it at all fills the bill as limerick… ;-) )

    Shashi
    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Whispers…
    At twitter @VerseEveryDay

  53. Altonian says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Got that way because of a bet
    He was asked to perform
    In excess of his norm
    The poor guy just hasn’t come yet

  54. John Richter says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Was stinky and flagrantly wet.
    His odor became
    Like dead goats aflame,
    So I bid him good day and left.

    I love all of these, but Ira Bloom’s preacher absolutely left me laughing the hardest…… What a fun thing to do!

  55. Bruce Niedt says:

    A gal who was covered in sweat
    said “This summer’s the hottest one yet!
    Gourmet cooking I tried –
    on the sidewalk I fried
    a Brie-portobello omelet!”

  56. Granny Smith says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Had vowed not to get into debt.
    Determined perhaps
    By tales of debt traps
    He chose to be robber instead.

  57. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Attempted to tame his new pet;
    The huge, beady-eyed spider
    Disdained sips of cider
    Then bit him, to his deep regret.

  58. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Swore stoutly he’d never forget
    In future to offer
    More cash for Sal’s coffer…
    Alas, no one’s found him just yet.

  59. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A gal who was covered in sweat
    Had freely imbibed while ajet
    Then lurched, sickly smile,
    To the toilet ~ awhile…
    She was fished out at last in a net.

  60. Mark Kane says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat,
    Sought sex from each woman he met.
    While parting their thighs,
    As you might surmise,
    He made each and every pet wet.

  61. Mark Kane says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat,
    Sought sex from each woman he met.
    While baring their hips,
    He’d lower his lips,
    Enjoying a juicy wet fete.

  62. Johanna Richmond says:

    A guy who was starting to sweat
    While performing on stage at the Met
    Thought, “This problem aint teeny;
    I’m singing Puccini
    And this is a Magic Flute set!”

  63. oudiva says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Told his buddy, “There’s no need to fret;
    I smell like a rose
    From my head to my toes.”
    Said his friend in reply, “You’re all wet!”

  64. scott says:

    A gal who was covered in sweat,
    would not pleasure herself on a bet.
    ‘til she read a refrain,
    posted by Mr. Kane.
    Now she’s craving a damned cigarette!

  65. Granny Smith says:

    Mad, I just can’t believe that I let that previous version get by me! It was just one those scribbles that one makes while thinking out ideas for a limerick! And then I was away from my computer for a while…

    A guy who was covered in sweat
    Had vowed not to get into debt.
    Determined perhaps
    By tales of debt traps
    He’s out robbing banks even yet.

  66. madkane says:

    Thanks again everyone for your fun limericks. This contest is over and you can find the winners list here: Limerick of the Week 27.

    And I’ve just posted a new Limerick-Off here: Fast Limerick

  67. Pari says:

    A guy who was covered in sweat,
    Was nervous ’bout squelchin’ a bet
    The loanshark DID find him,
    Walked right up behind him,
    So fast, now HE’s ass deep in debt!