Sweaty Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A guy who was covered in sweat…
or
A gal who was covered in sweat…
Here’s mine:
Sweaty Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A guy who was covered in sweat
Had gambled and lost a large bet.
His setback was bad,
His wife really mad,
And all he had left was regret.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity by commenting on my Facebook post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Gambling Limerick, Marriage, Money Poems, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
A guy who was covered in sweat
Was moved to make a large bet
He put cash on a horse
Without checking its source
Now his nerves, they’re all in a fret
THERE WAS A GAL ALL COVERED IN SWEAT
SHE WAS VERY VERY UPSET
SHE ASKED TO BE EXCUSED
AND HER BOSS WAS NOT AMUSED
SHE HAD NOT FINISH HER CHORES
AND HE TOLD HER TO HIT THE DOOR.
A gal who was covered in sweat
A tan she was trying to get
She lay by the pool
Making all the men drool
‘Cuz the bikini disappeared when wet
A guy who was covered in sweat
Told his friend, while collecting a bet:
“It may seem a fiasco
To guzzzle Tabasco-
I do it to get out of debt.”
Jim’s Gym?
A Guy who was covered in sweat,
As he sprawled by his mate sighed, “You bet!
Though Pilates it’s not,
This with you was so hot,
It’s a workout I won’t soon forget.”
A guy who was covered in sweat
Made his lady loves rather upset.
As he slipped and he slithered
His ardour just withered
Leaving appetites sorely unmet.
A gal who was covered in sweat
Was shunned by the guys in her set.
Though she smelt rather ripe
She was determined to Skype
And was able to date on the Net
A guy who was covered in sweat
Decided he would no longer fret
He went down to the store
And bought towels galore
His body was no longer wet
Yours was wonderful as usual :) Loved it
A guy who was covered in sweat
Was trying to fix his Corvette
“How CAN I get kicks
“Out on Route 66
“When the engine won’t even start yet?”
A guy who was covered in sweat
bore the brunt of a rude sobriquet.
Because he was champ
of malodorous damp,
they called him ‘The Wet Baronet.’
A guy who was covered in sweat
had the hots for a sexy brunette.
So he said, “It sounds screwy:
you make me feel dewy!”
That line hasn’t worked for him yet.
Ooops…here’s a correction to the first of my two limericks:
A guy who was covered in sweat
bore the brunt of a rude sobriquet.
Because he was champ
of malodorous damp,
they called him ‘The Dank Baronet.’
A gal who was covered in sweat,
could not get off the internet.
Her page was exploding,
with hundreds downloading,
Birthday wishes she’ll not soon forget.
A guy who was covered in sweat
griped, “Must’ve been somethin’ I et.
I do love that sweet girl,
but she can’t cook no squirrel.
It’s a meal I’d just soon forget.”
I was hesitant to post this on this day, but WTH, the truth doesn’t take a holiday.
A guy who was covered in sweat,
did knowingly aid and abet,
the theft of the Vote,
and as he read My Pet Goat,
he knew that the stage had been set.
A gal who was covered in sweat
Could not bear to part with the jet.
In the hot tub, that is–
Her hair turned to frizz.
No one knew water from sweat, even yet.
A guy who was covered in sweat
Just hated being dirty or wet
Physiology can be a mean joke
When you’re born a fastidious bloke
And a dirty job is all you can get.
A gal who was starting to sweat
While performing a horny sextet,
Between visions impure
And a skilled embouchure,
Earned the “Rusty Trombone” sobriquet.
A gal who was covered in sweat
Told the preacher she’d only just met:
“Sir, the spritz from your sermon-
on-the-mount left me squirmin’!
You’ve baptized me! Lordy I’m wet!”
A congressman, covered in sweat,
Voted twice not to increase the debt.
He said “Nuts to the pundit
Who says we should fund it.
It’s better than Russian Roulette!”
A guy who was covered in sweat
Kept a bull elephant as a pet;
Panted, “Shov’lling this stuff
“All day long sure is tough!
“But think of the rhubarb I get!”
A woman was covered in sweat,
From dancing so hard at her fete.
The Rabbi was key,
To setting her free,
By letting her get her sweet “Get”.
A gal who was covered in sweat,
Often slept with each man that she met.
With great acting, my dear,
She so helped her career.
See her now on that Hollywood set.
A guy who was covered in sweat
Blamed it all on the dammed internet
Error six-seven-eight
Got him into a state
And he’s still not connected as yet
A girl who was covered in sweat
Hadn’t learned how to change a tire yet
So she stuck out her leg
And she started to beg
Not knowing the problems she’d get
A man who was covered in sweat
Was working to get out of debt
But the wages he earned
Weren’t enough he learned
And out of his home he was set.
A gal who was covered in sweat
Couldn’t help but fume and fret.
Her high-fashion kit
Just ripped and split,
Laying bare much more than her silhouette.
a gal who was covered in sweat
wouldn’t use ‘the word’ to win a bet.
nose in the air she drawled it slow
only horses sweat, women glow.
and the prince wed the gal he’d just met.
A guy who was covered in sweat
Was arrested for humping his pet
“It was choking” he cried
“So the heimlich I tried,
An action that I now regret!”
A guy who was covered in sweat
Confessed to his dearest Nanette:
“This reminds me in truth
Of the rides of my youth
When we used to ask ‘Are we there yet?'”
This are all hysterical! What fun!
THESE are all hysterical. Sheesh.
I LOVE this, but am so rusty. Please forgive me; here’s my try . . .
A guy who was covered in sweat
had got awfully stuck in a net
the fisherman screamed
the oceans they teamed
and the poor man named Jonah cried, “Wet!”
a man who was covered in sweat
still wrote this limerick wet
with really no clue
but daring to do
will-ing to play the fool yet
a man who was covered in sweat
sheet damp, bed wet and sank yet
once more before dawn
dared not end up drown
water wings, each wore a set
a gal was covered in sweat
it was she her husband bet
she prayed he would win
as she guzzled her gin
and prayed this night to forget
My first limerick….not good but I have stepped into the water…:)
A guy who was covered in sweat
said to her, “Aren’t you satisfied yet?”
But she made such a racket,
took each ball and would whack it –
when she won, she’d jump over the net.
A guy who was covered in sweat
loved a girl who was in a quartet.
He was played like a fiddle
when she plucked at his middle
and rosined his bow until wet.
A guy who was covered in sweat
Didn’t get to do what he intended
Shove a bee hive with a stick
Honey he thought he would lick
He was very much swollen headed instead
I visited your Mar 05, 2007 posting. I included below a response for the fun of it!
‘Pick a card’ was a phrase I would hear
A ‘budding magician’ I would rather not be near
He would fumble
He would grumble
We sadly sympathized but thankfully no one jeered
A gal who was covered in sweat
had the hots for a Civil War vet.
But she wasn’t a harlot,
for her first name was Scarlett,
and the guy she desired was Rhett.
A guy who was covered in sweat
banged his dates in a purple Corvette.
That is, till the repo
took it back to the depot –
all that loving had run up a debt.
A guy who was covered in sweat
Had made love to a Beethoven quartet.
The allegro was fine,
The pizzicato divine,
But the finale he’d rather forget.
These are so funny I am still laughing so hard after reading them
Island Breeze.
A guy who was covered with sweat,
Indignant, rushed Pooch to the vet.
“She encountered a rake.
What means should I take?
I’m not ready for puppies just yet!”
A gal who was cover in sweat
Still had one more table to set
But in came the crew
Yanked out the brew
And got too drunk to fret
haha…it was worth the trip back for OLN to read some of these…love it…
Thanks for your fun limericks, everyone, and please keep them coming!
funny limerick about a not so funny addiciton. I just love the rhythm of limericks and haven’t read one in a while. thanks :)
A gal who was covered with sweat
Had entered a race on a bet.
For such a beginner
They cheered her as winner
Not seeing each shoe had a jet.
A guy who was starting to sweat
After seeing his nude silhouette,
Held a mirror below
To check Mo, Bo and Jo
‘Fo’ completing his proud pirouette.
A gal who was covered in sweat
Vowed, “Girl! That’s your last pirouette!
“Admit it! You grew too
“Rotund for your tutu!
“BELLY dancing’s now your best bet!”
Good to see you again after a long time my friend…. here is my first ever try at this ……
A gal who was covered in sweat
Watched in horror – Fred
Who was just starting to sweat
Melted in her arms – dead
(Ok this is my first try… and impromptu, as I landed here from Poetry picnic that I am hosting this week… let me know if it at all fills the bill as limerick… ;-) )
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Whispers…
At twitter @VerseEveryDay
A guy who was covered in sweat
Got that way because of a bet
He was asked to perform
In excess of his norm
The poor guy just hasn’t come yet
A guy who was covered in sweat
Was stinky and flagrantly wet.
His odor became
Like dead goats aflame,
So I bid him good day and left.
I love all of these, but Ira Bloom’s preacher absolutely left me laughing the hardest…… What a fun thing to do!
A gal who was covered in sweat
said “This summer’s the hottest one yet!
Gourmet cooking I tried –
on the sidewalk I fried
a Brie-portobello omelet!”
A guy who was covered in sweat
Had vowed not to get into debt.
Determined perhaps
By tales of debt traps
He chose to be robber instead.
A guy who was covered in sweat
Attempted to tame his new pet;
The huge, beady-eyed spider
Disdained sips of cider
Then bit him, to his deep regret.
A guy who was covered in sweat
Swore stoutly he’d never forget
In future to offer
More cash for Sal’s coffer…
Alas, no one’s found him just yet.
A gal who was covered in sweat
Had freely imbibed while ajet
Then lurched, sickly smile,
To the toilet ~ awhile…
She was fished out at last in a net.
A guy who was covered in sweat,
Sought sex from each woman he met.
While parting their thighs,
As you might surmise,
He made each and every pet wet.
A guy who was covered in sweat,
Sought sex from each woman he met.
While baring their hips,
He’d lower his lips,
Enjoying a juicy wet fete.
A guy who was starting to sweat
While performing on stage at the Met
Thought, “This problem aint teeny;
I’m singing Puccini
And this is a Magic Flute set!”
A guy who was covered in sweat
Told his buddy, “There’s no need to fret;
I smell like a rose
From my head to my toes.”
Said his friend in reply, “You’re all wet!”
A gal who was covered in sweat,
would not pleasure herself on a bet.
‘til she read a refrain,
posted by Mr. Kane.
Now she’s craving a damned cigarette!
Mad, I just can’t believe that I let that previous version get by me! It was just one those scribbles that one makes while thinking out ideas for a limerick! And then I was away from my computer for a while…
A guy who was covered in sweat
Had vowed not to get into debt.
Determined perhaps
By tales of debt traps
He’s out robbing banks even yet.
Thanks again everyone for your fun limericks. This contest is over and you can find the winners list here: Limerick of the Week 27.
And I’ve just posted a new Limerick-Off here: Fast Limerick
A guy who was covered in sweat,
Was nervous ’bout squelchin’ a bet
The loanshark DID find him,
Walked right up behind him,
So fast, now HE’s ass deep in debt!