Mad Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who felt she’d been had…
or
A fellow who felt she’d been had…
Here’s mine:
Mad Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who felt she’d been had
Was incredibly angry — yes mad.
She’d been promised promotion
For work and devotion.
But her boss gave the job to his dad.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Boss Humor, Exploitation, Family & Relatives Humor, Labor, Money Poems, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Promotion Verse, Workplace & Career Humor, Writing Prompts
A woman who thought she’d been had
Thought Virginia’s earthquake was bad.
And the hurricane (Irene)
Back-to-back was just mean!
And the locusts next week? Lord, egad!
A woman who felt she’d been had…
Got her revenge on the offending cad.
She took a sharp knife,
He would never service a wife,
And for that she was exceedingly glad.
A woman who thought she’d been had
Blamed her husband, let’s just call him Vlad.
“My life is a failure
“With Mr. Impaler,
“You think there’s a chance that he’s mad?”
A woman who felt she’d been had
Getting even not an option she thought right
They had a pow-wow
Exchanged know-how
Never regretted it since then most nights
A woman who felt she’d been had,
Flew off on the next plane to Chad.
But no-one would date her
There on the Equator!
She wished she had chosen Baghdad!
*
Love your limerick Madeleine :O)
A woman who felt she’d been had
Decided it wasn’t so bad.
For experience she craved.
She was mad and depraved.
So she told everyone she was glad.
A woman who felt she’d been had
Found she was kind of glad
She waved her gun
Watching her husband run
And no longer had to deal with that lad
A woman who felt she’d been had
Bore a daughter who always was glad
She would laugh and would smile
And could run a quick mile
But mom knew deep down she was bad
A fellow who felt he’d been had
Was called by a strange kid “Dad”
All he had to say
Was check his DNA!
Turns out, yes, he’d been bad.
A woman who felt she’d been had
When left by her new law school grad
She was in a real stew
He’d found someone new!
This left her irate with dear Brad.
He’d promised her love and a life
A diamond showed she’d be his wife
But she was left in a lurch
With no sign of a church
She vowed his life would be filled with strife.
After all, she’d put him through school!
It was okay ‘cuz their life would be cool
But not anymore
She would even the score
And get him back for being a tool!
All along she’d been studying law
And she knew which papers to draw
Breach of promise her plan,
She got back at her man!
Financial security without a flaw.
A woman who felt she’d been had,
Though by and large stark raving mad,
Had a point when Irene
With ill will unforeseen,
Left her house draped in ribbons of shad.
A fellow who felt he’d been had
Pinched his nickels and dimes just a tad;
When his wife said a plug
On a soft Persian rug
Would be nice, he rolled out a rug PAD.
A woman who felt she’d been had
Told the Judge, “Kissed some frog on a pad.
“Well, next thing I seen
“Was this ugly, old queen
“Not the ‘handsome, young prince’ in his ad”.
A woman who felt she’d been had
Started thinking, “that wasn’t so bad.”
But the thought of his touch
Was just a little too much
For not only was he a bum-phuck, but a cad.
A fellow who felt he’d been had
re buying a dubious ‘Strad’
found his authentication
lacked substantiation.
Oh fiddlesticks! He was sure mad.
A woman who felt she’d been had
By her virtual lover — A lad?
“Catholic School Girls” are fun,
When she plays as one,
But not when her date’s clad in plaid.
A woman who felt she’d been had
By an indiscreet lover — That cad!
With a careless fast click
She shared a nude pic,
And now it’s on Dad’s new iPad.
Facääd
A woman who felt she’d been hääd,
said, “Heaven have mercy, dear Gääd!
I’ve purchased a cäär
which will not go fäär.
I find this exceedingly ääd.”
A fellow who thought he’d been had…
Less than twenty submission “how rad!”
And what with deceit,
An in-blog ‘fresh meat’
He grew nine inches shorter… so sad…
A Grave Situation
A fellow who thought he been had
embarked on a scheme gone mad
thus accepting his loss
gave his anger a toss
and stood by their tombs looking sad.
a man who felt he’d been had
had fallen into love quite bad
emotions a’jumble
into bed he a’tumbled
and awoke in empty bed, mad
A woman who felt she’d been had
Did say to her mother, “I’m sad.
“I’ve cooked and I’ve cleaned,
“I’ve primped, pressed and preened,
“But the only man ’round here is Dad.”
I’d be mad if hid dad got the job too :)
Great limerick.
Planet Bling
A woman who felt she’d been had
looked down at her ring and was sad.
They’d found one bigger,
not with a digger.
Now planet bling is the most rad.
Keep forgetting to cross-post. Thanks Matthew K. for the reminder.
A fellow who felt he’d been had,
thought Irene would make him feel glad.
He hoped her big blow,
meant fell-a-tio.
Now the fellow feels like a real cad.
A fellow who felt he’d been had,
by his beautiful lover–MissMad,
had Facebook eat his post,
then was told by the host,
that his chances to win are forbad.
Loved your limerick. there are hard to do, but you made it look easy
Fun, pointed work.
A fellow who felt he’d been had,
Bought a pig-in-a-poke for his dad.
His dad cried “You fool!
Did you learn this in school?
It’s a poke in a pig that is rad.
A woman who felt she’d been had
Sought revenge from her friend’s iPad
Said, “Hey take a look,”
To all on Facebook
And now who’s been had silly lad?
A fellow who felt he’d been had
Was having a short Scottish fad
A kilt he had spied
But the shop assistant lied
And in a tartan skirt he was clad
A woman who felt she’d been had
Global warming was making her sad
Joined the Keysone XL action,
Achieved emotional satisfaction
And helped save the World – just a tad.
Note: There is still time to sit-in at the White House Tarsandsaction and cross “Getting Arrested” off your bucket list.
A woman who felt she’d been had
Rode a carpet to ancient Baghdad
When she woke from her dreams
Disappointed it seems
She was clutching her mouse and the pad.
A woman who felt she’d been had
Bumped into a right cheerful young lad
He made her laugh and forget a while
She was a victim of her own damned guile.
Sometimes it’s enough not to feel bad.
OK, my Irish is finally up and running!
A woman who felt she’d been had
Gazed out of the window, quite sad
Her millionaire dream
A big Ponzi scheme
Her slick lover was two times a cad
© Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
A woman who thought she’d been had
By a really, really young lad
Felt a great deal of shame
As she proffered his name:
“That Alladin sure can Sin Bad!”
A woman who thought she’d been had
By her dubious date, “Man from Glad,”
Found his fetish for plastic
Sincere, not bombastic:
His meatballs were sandwich bag clad.
dropped mine already…just saying hi and great to see you at dverse…
this has happened oh so many times! As always Mad you’re at the top of your game!
A woman who felt she’d been had
soon met a charming and handsome new lad.
They dawdled over lunch at his yacht club
and that night danced at a hot club.
But in the sack later, his quickness just made her mad.
As always, humor is funniest when based on reality. Loved it.
A lady who felt she’d been had
stormed into the boy’s uptown pad
in order to claim
she felt outrage and shame
but ended up spreading her twad
A woman who felt she’d been had
By a studly and much younger lad,
Enjoyed his cavorting,
But not his consorting
In bed with her elderly Dad.
A woman who felt she’d been had
Indeed had been had by a cad,
Who left her in the lurch
In the nave of the church
And the excuse, up to his dad.
A fellow who felt he’d been had
Had been had it seems and quite bad
The bride he had bought
Was not what he thought
It turns out that she was a lad
Revised version of last limerick:
A woman who thought she’d been had
By a really, really young lad
Felt a great deal of shame
As she proffered his name:
“That Alladin kin shorely Sin Bad!”
A fellow who felt he’d been had,
said, “My fortunes have surely gone bad.
My millions were drained,
credibility strained –
Bernie Madoff, you Ponzi-scheme cad!”
Omigosh, I posted this before I read Amy’s. Sorry, Amy, for the unintentional “plagiarism”!
A fellow who felt he’d been had
went all in for the latest tech fad.
“My warehouses burst
but my foresight’s the worst –
took a bath with this HP touchpad.”
Thanks everyone for your delightful limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over and you can find out who won here: Limerick of the Week 25.
But a brand new Limerick-Off has just started. Here it is: Dining On Limericks.
Wow. These are really something else! Very funny.